question about visiting friend that just had a baby

DH and I are planning on going one weekend to see my friends and their new baby. what is the protocol? do we stay with them...or with the baby schedule is that too much to ask?

should we just get a hotel nearby, or is that rude?

i know i should just ASK my friend...but i would like some feedback on what is standard protocol....

thanks!

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Depends on your friend. She may want your help in the middle of the night...if you are willing. But I'm going to venture out and say unless you are like sisters, do not stay with them.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

From personal experience, I was in no shape to play hostess for a long time.
IMO, a hotel would be best.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

what kind of friends? if its your best friend and you would be willing to help her and not expect anything (and if you know she would be OK with that....it makes some people very uncomfortable) i would say stay.
otherwise, def go for a hotel. if you feel awkward asking her if you should stay or not just ask her for the name of a local hotel and see what she says.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Hotel unless your friend insists you stay with them. I don't know how long ago she had the baby but I could barely walk for the first 8weeks post-partum, I can't imagine hosting guests when I couldn't climb the stairs to even do laundry.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

having just gone through the whole having a baby thing, IMO, you stay in a hotel unless she offers.
factors:
how close you are
how very new the baby is - is it 2 weeks old or is it 8 weeks old?

in my experience, you wouldn't WANT to stay overnight in a house with a 2 week old, lol. 8 week old, probably depends on the baby, mine was sleeping pretty well by then but every baby is different.

i wouldn't have wanted anyone spending the night except my sisters or my parents for the first... i'm gonna say 8-10 weeks. actually my house is still a mess haha.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

HOTEL!!!

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

After I had DD, I was in no shape to play hostess like that.

Unless they really, truly insist I would stay in a hotel.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

I say hotel unless you are like sisters.

We had guests every other weekend (dh's family) from when the babies were 4 weeks old until 3 months. It was the WORST

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Definitely a hotel! For all of the above reasons!

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

I had DS in August and my friends came and stayed with me. I really didn't care but they also understood not to expect anything from me. They came equipped and cooked the meals and they helped me immensely (did laundry, straightened up, etc.). It was actually pretty awesome. I should mention the baby was like 3-4 weeks old so I was somewhat adjusted at that point.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Definitely a hotel unless your friend insists you stay with them. And if you do stay with them, it might be nice to help them out with some cooking and cleaning, especially if the baby is just a couple of weeks old.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

HOTEL ... EVEN if she offers!!!!!

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

thanks for all the feedback. she is a close friend of mine - we were in eachothers bridal parties. but we only see eachother 1-2x a year because of the distance.

i have no problems doing the hotel route...just wanted to see what the norm was...and also didnt want to offend her

i also have no problems helping out and cooking

by the time we visit the baby will be...(doing the math)...about 6 wks old

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Oh yes a hotel. My cousin paid a surprise visit to our house when dd was 3 weeks old. It's extra cleaning, straightening up, entertaining, etc. when I had a free hour at night I really didn't want to have to be entertaining my cousin at that point.. I just wanted to sit down and totally disconnect for a bit.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

unless she insists you stay over, book a hotel. it will make both of you more comfortable

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

when did you friend have the baby? if she just recently had the baby, i would say wait until the baby is older, 2-3 months at least before visiting.
if your dead set on going before, don't even ask, just stay in a hotel

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

I think it depends a lot of the person. For myself, I really wouldn't want anyone staying at my house with a new baby. I remember the beginning weeks and you're trying to figure out your routine and I would not have wanted to entertain people in my home at that time.

I would ask and see what she is most comfortable with. Better not to make assumptions in this case.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

Hotel. I was not really looking for guests when I had a newborn.

Also - you are probably not going to get a good night's sleep with an infant in the house. Better for you to be fresh and rested the next day if you want to help out.

Re: question about visiting friend that just had a baby

I guess im not the norm but after I had dd one of my close friends came down from upstate and stayed with us. I loved having her here and appreciated all her help.