Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

I also think that you should look for another ped. Espeically if you are not get questions answered and it doesnt seem like he has Hannah's best interest at hand. It will get better, it just takes time. If you ever want to get together without babies I am always up for it.

Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

I just can say that you are not the worse mom. You are trying to do the best for your baby and it's not easy at the begining. Just have faith that everyday is going to be easier. Many for you.

Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

Aw, hang in there! You've gotten a lot of great advice; the only thing I can repeat is that it does get better--which I know is of little consolation, trust me!

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I can relate. I was home with dd for 8 weeks when she was first born. She had reflex and colic. I would count the hours till DH would get home from work to give me a break.
I went back to work and put dd in daycare and that helped all of us alot. It gave me the break I needed and helps me appreciate the time I do have with her. At about 6 months all the symptoms got better and she became a lot more fun, so now going to work is harder than before. Is that an option for you --- to work out of home now and then see later on about working from home?
I saw a pediatric GI from Winthrop that were pretty good. DD was on axid and we put rice cereal in her bottles.
Feel free to ask me any questions.

Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

Been there with my oldest. I didnt read all the replies but I will just quickly say: It will pass, not that that helps. Its especially hard if you have a difficult baby as your first, it really is. I dont think anyone for a second is judging you for saying this, EVERYONE has been there is some shape or form. Im glad you feel comfortable enough to post it and hopefully all the replies and support will help.

ETA: My son ended up being such a happy child and such an easy and adaptable infant/toddler.

Message edited 10/7/2006 9:41:58 AM.

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I could have written your post 10 months ago when Kevin hit 3-4 months. I remember crying all day long, wondering if I made a mistake having a baby and thinking I was the worst mother in the world for thinking that.

I would be constantly calling my son's ped. for help, calling all different child care / parent education agencies begging for them to tell me what I was doing wrong and hoping someone would help me learn how to care for this constantly screaming, crying, fussing little baby.

I would look into a ped. GI (We use Kessler in West Islip). It sounds as if your little one needs more treatment than your ped. is willing to give at this time. Rice in the bottle helps to keep the formula down. We started with 1/2 tsp. per ounce of formula and then moved up to 1 tsp. (The GI will tell you how much to start at.)

It does get better. You are doing a great job. Having a baby is a major change in your life and you need to give yourself a change to work things out.

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Sorry that things are not getting better. I've been honest before and said that I think you need to find a new Dr for her. Seriously.

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AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw... It tears me to pieces to read this kind of post, because I know exactly where you are mentally. I think everyone can vouch for me, from reading my posts for the last year, that I have one of the most high needs baby on the planet. Alex came into this world with more personality than she could ever handle! From day one she was crying... she cried all the time, and it was hard not to take it personally like I was doing something wrong, or there was something wrong with HER. Every waking moment she was fussing - always had to be held at all times, always fussy for one reaosn or another. I trekked her back and forth to the ped endless times, and he kept telling me "she'll grow out of it" but I never believed him... I was convinced there was something wrong with my baby.

I read a book, I can't remember what it is, but the author broke babies down into 4 different personalities - and discussed how life will get much easier when we learn to accept our babies for who they are. Mine happens to fall into the "spirited" category... it made me sad for a while to see all these happy babies around me, while I was tending to the fussiest monster in the world. BUt one day I just let go of the guilt and decided, ok, it's not my faulth she's like this, and it doesn't mean she's a bad baby or a bad person... it's just her personality. ANd for me, although it was hell for the first 6 months, and admittedly, it STILL is hell sometimes, looking back, I wouldn't have it any other way. I now adore the fact that my daughter has so much personality and fire. She's a spitfire and it makes life so interesting. SHe has me hysterically laughing everyday... so, my point, your daughter WILL grow out of the fussy phase. Most grow out of it around 3 months... some take longer, like my daughter (about 6 months). Until then, the best thing to do is just accept her for who she is and adapt to her personality. If she needs to be held, then hold her, put her in the baby bjorn or put her in a sling and carry her around... if she needs her bottle NOW then stop what you're doing and tend to her... it's only for a few more months, and when she does grow out of the cranky phase, you'll have a baby with so much personality it will simply amaze you

Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

Just wanted to offer you some and i def agree with looking around for another pediatrician. Hang in, it will get better as the weeks go on......

Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

I do not know how old your daughter is, but when my son hit six months or so he really got over most of his fussiness and he was a SCREAMER. It will get better. Try to get out of the house, and not just for work, but to decompress.

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Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

I'm sorry you are going throught this. You are not a bad Mommy

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You are NOT a bad mommy, you just want what everyone wants, a happy baby all the time!
You are going thru a rough time, you need help. Is there anyone, family members that can come in and stay while you get out and get some much needed breathing room?? Sometimes you need to just step away for awhile and catch your breath (and your sanity). Just know you are not alone, many moms are going thru this as well. You are a wonderful mommy who just wants to make your baby happy.

Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

We would never judge you. We have all been there. I'm sorry that you are having a rough time.

as for solutions, I agree with everyone else.

1. Get help with the baby. A family member or friend. Don't be afriad to ask.

2. Get some time for yourself. If its on the weekend or evening, ask your DH for some time to yourself. Get your nails done, get a massage- whatever you need.

3. SWITCH DOCTORS. Your doctor should be someone you trust and who is your ally. If someone doesn't help you- its time to switch doctors.

4. Don't worry about people judging you!! Every mom has been there. We have all cried that we can't calm our baby down, and we don't know whats the matter. We have all been there.




We are all here for you!

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Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

you are a great mommy - we all doubt ourselves @ times....see if someone can help you out and try to hang in there!!!

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I am so sorry you are going thru this, I feel the same way you do most days and my son is 9 months old. He went from a high needs newborn, to a high needs 9 month old. I cannot leave the room for 5 min without him screaming for me. It is so hard, and sometimes I too feel like running away. But then there are good days and thats what makes it all worth while. I hope you can find answers soon as to why she is so uncomfortable. I highly recommend my ped, if you want more info FM me. Hang in there sweetie.. we are all here for you!

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I didn't read everyone else's replies
( sure is nice to have so much support , huh? )But I just wanted to rx seeing a GI specialist. Our pedi, whom I really like, kind of hit a wall when it came to helping us with Maddy's reflux. I was the one who suggested a GI specialist and he was like" Yeah, that might be a good idea" and it helped SO MUCH!!! I don't know where you live, but we went to Schneider's Hosp in NHP- DR JAmes Markowitz- and it made all the idfference in the world. I high;ly recommend seeing a pediatric GI.
It gets better, you are so not alone. Reflux is b!tch for everyone involved!

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I know its sooooo hard sometimes. I am going through a similar situation with DD who also screams through her bottles. I dread feeding her! She is currently on Zantac and Nutramigen and I just heard about elecare a couple of days ago. Sometimes I think Peds just don't get it. They hear parents talk about their issues all day and I think it is hard for them to really tune in when a child is having an issue but looks fine. Sometimes I want to take her to the ped's office when she is hungry and say "here you try to feed her!." Hopefully they will "grow out of it" like everyone seems to be telling me and be more comfortable little girls. Take care

Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

You are so not a failure. I really feel for you because I can't even imagine how upset you must be. Unfortunatley, there are some babies that can't be soothed. Soime people call it colic but without the gas and they just cry and cry - there's nothing that YOU CAN do. You are doing everything right but it should pass. Is this just a recent stage or has this been going on for a while? There was a show on TLC or something that I saw and one of the topics was just this and it's unfortune - to say the least. I hope that you have someone that can be there with you. You just have to let her cry. If you have fed her, changed her, rocked her and met all of her needs then there's nothing else to do. I'm sorry sweetie - I hope that it gets better.

I agree that you should find a better pediatrician that can explain more to you and that you don't feel is clueless - that's not helping you.

Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

I agree with others...I think you need to get a new ped. Someone who can help you through this time.


Hang in there!

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I'm sorry you're going through this

Re: putting this out there..please dont judge (long)

You are not a bad mother at all! The fact that you even sat and wrote this, and asked for help, makes you a wonderful mother. First if you feel like there is something wrong with your dd and your pediatrician is not helping you, then you should definitely look into switching. I am sure some of the moms here could recommend great pediatricians. Secondly, you need a break. I work from home part time and I know how hard it is. It is like working two full time jobs at the same exact time. Maybe you could hire someone to help a few hours a day? Do you have a family member or even your dh who could give you a break for a couple of hours, even if it is only once a week? Sometimes I work late at night to fit everything in and I end up getting really tired and stressed. I think my dh was feeling it because today he took my son, gave him breakfast and got him dressed and let me sleep in for a couple of hours. It is these little breaks that keep me going! We are not super moms, although I know we try. We do need a break too. Lastly if you are feeling ppd coming on, you should really try and seek some help for yourself. You are recognizing that you need some help, we all do! I hope everything works out. Please don't beat yourself up. You are doing a great job.

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I also wanted to add that the pediatric GI said it was going to get worse before it gets better and that around 4 months, reflux peaks in babies. I don't know why, but I'm just hoping that it only gets better from here on.