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Re: No Bridal Registry
Posted by bunnyluck
I guess I'm the minority here. I'd give what she asked for, cash or a check. I don't see the big stink lol. I feel like if you care enough about this couple to go then why judge what they are asking for????
If you're just against gift cards in general, id go with something thoughtful or practical....Beach towel basket, sheet set, wine basket, etc.
For anything else I'd agree with you but this is a bridal shower, the point is to shower the bride with gifts for her home/new life. Not to give her cash/visa gc's. And to say that she should be able to pick out her own stuff -- then register!!
Don't have a shower if you just want $$$
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Posted 3/1/14 4:22 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: No Bridal Registry
My lazy self would be thrilled with this easy option lol
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| Posted 3/1/14 4:31 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: No Bridal Registry
If it was my friend, Id totally just get her what she wants and get her a gift card. If it was my friend or family, I would think I would know her enough to know she isn't tacky or rude. Maybe just undecided on what she needs, or doesn't have the space for all of the registry items....just get her the gift card. No big deal and easier for you.
Message edited 3/1/2014 4:56:52 PM.
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| Posted 3/1/14 4:35 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: No Bridal Registry
Posted by DiamondGirl
My lazy self would be thrilled with this easy option lol
Yup! Me too.
I look at it this way, if I plan to spend $50 let's say, for this particular shower gift, who cares if I spend it on a place setting or set of towels off a registry, or on a gift card?
$50 is $50. No skin off my back. And easier than going through a registry and trying to find items in the store. That is always torture!
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| Posted 3/1/14 4:37 PM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
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Re: No Bridal Registry
Posted by 2BadSoSad
If it was my friend, Id totally just get her want she wants and get her a gift card. If it was my friend or family, I would think I would know her enough to know she isn't tacky or rude. Maybe just undecided on what she needs, or doesn't have the space for all of the registry items....just get her the gift card. No big deal and easier for you.
I feel this way too.
We have a relative that is getting married and they will be living in a tiny apartment with no room for anything. My brother also recently got married and lives in a very small apartment and they can't even fit their shower gifts (which haven't been opened yet)
We also have friends that are getting married that have lived in their house together for. Few hers and don't necessarily need kitchen appliances or sheets.
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| Posted 3/1/14 4:37 PM |
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GoodThoughts
Dreams do come true
Member since 2/12 2259 total posts
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Re: No Bridal Registry
I didn't have a registry. I had been living alone for years before getting married. DH and I were going to continue to live in my 1 bedroom, 2 closet apartment until we eventuaally bought a house (which didn't happen until 16 months after we wed). Aside from truly not needing anything for the house, we had absolutely nowhere to put anything. Granted, my invitations didn't ask for cash.
A friend of mine did register for her shower, but outright told us that she preferred gift cards. She was a good friend, so most of us gave what we knew she wanted.
For me, if I were having such a strong reaction to something like this, to the point of purposefully thinking about buying a gift I knew the bride-to-be didn't want, I'd be questioning whether the bride really needed me (and my judgy self) at her celebration.
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| Posted 3/1/14 4:49 PM |
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shadows
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 4694 total posts
Name:
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Re: No Bridal Registry
Posted by GoodThoughts
I didn't have a registry. I had been living alone for years before getting married. DH and I were going to continue to live in my 1 bedroom, 2 closet apartment until we eventuaally bought a house (which didn't happen until 16 months after we wed). Aside from truly not needing anything for the house, we had absolutely nowhere to put anything. Granted, my invitations didn't ask for cash.
A friend of mine did register for her shower, but outright told us that she preferred gift cards. She was a good friend, so most of us gave what we knew she wanted.
For me, if I were having such a strong reaction to something like this, to the point of purposefully thinking about buying a gift I knew the bride-to-be didn't want, I'd be questioning whether the bride really needed me (and my judgy self) at her celebration.
Same - I didn't register for a few reasons. I also didn't have a shower though. For my wedding I got lots of different stuff - some cash and a variety of gifts. All were very much appreciated.
I guess asking for GCs at the shower is a little tacky, and personally I wouldn't do it, but i don't see it as a huge deal.
Message edited 3/1/2014 5:32:17 PM.
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| Posted 3/1/14 5:31 PM |
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MrsM84
LIF Adult
Member since 2/13 2352 total posts
Name:
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No Bridal Registry
Do people have no etiquette anymore?!?! Putting an insert that asks for AMEX/Visa gift cards in a shower invite is beyond tacky. I'm not anti gift cards, but I would be annoyed that these gift cards are basically cash that can be spent anywhere -- they could use them to buy their groceries, put gas in their car, pay a parking ticket, etc. You want a Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift card -- fine. At least I know you're buying house related items of some sort. Same goes for Crate & Barrel, Pottery Barn, etc. The insert could have just said, "I want your money". IMO, I would seriously consider not going to the shower. If you do go, bring a gift that you feel is appropriate and attach a gift receipt. If they don't like it or want it, they can take it back and get store credit and pick out something they do like.
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| Posted 3/1/14 8:34 PM |
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No Bridal Registry
Soooooo tacky
I wouldn't do it based on principle
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| Posted 3/1/14 8:44 PM |
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BeachGrl
LIF Adult
Member since 10/11 2140 total posts
Name:
Kristy
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No Bridal Registry
I think its extremely tacky and rude and not something I would ever do, however, I would use it to my advantage and save myself the time and energy of shopping for a gift, wrapping, etc.
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| Posted 3/1/14 9:00 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
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Re: No Bridal Registry
 that's fantastic
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| Posted 3/1/14 9:08 PM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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No Bridal Registry
Who cares? Give a gift card.
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| Posted 3/1/14 9:28 PM |
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PearlJamChick
No one sings like you anymore.
Member since 7/10 9264 total posts
Name:
Petticoated Swashbuckler
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Re: No Bridal Registry
Its different but I'd be happy not to have to trek my ass to Bed Bath to get something.
Five minutes in Duane Reade and that's it? DONE!
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| Posted 3/1/14 9:47 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: No Bridal Registry
Posted by Loveme
I just got an invitation for my friend's. Shower. Her FMIL put a cute poem on the invitation saying they would love bed sheets, romantic type things, small home appliances, and that they'd appreciate gift cards to Target and BBB. This girl didn't register and wasn't going to even have a shower until the last minute. I didn't think twice about it because the poem was cute, and they already live together so there's nothing they really need.
I.
I recently went to one like this, and seeing the bride's appreciation and genuine surprise was so refreshing!
Re: the gift card request- sooooooo tacky. Do what your heart tells you to. At the end of the day you have to like yourself 
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| Posted 3/1/14 10:42 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
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Re: No Bridal Registry
While it isn't something I would do or want or approve of in any way. I still think it is rude to put registry cards into an invite but hey everyone does it. Putting a card in the invite still says hey buy me something too. If the couple wants the ugliest or tackiest things you would still buy it right?
Correct me if I am wrong but unless you are grabbing a blender, picture frame or whatever from your house to give as a a gift you will be spending money right? If this person is a family member or friend I would think you would want to get them what they want. I guess to me $30, 50, 100 whatever is still 30, 50 or 100 whether it is a blender or gift card. I decide what I want to spend then look at the list and pick a gift in that range. I guess I don't see the big difference between an orange appliance and a gift card. As far as fees, many places you can buy fee free cards (some banks and I believe Amex does this). I would not spend more than I budgeted for. Is this a couple who already lives together and has all the usual already or previously married? Maybe they are asking bc a down payment for a home or a honeymoon or furniture is more important than that blender or plate.
I guess I am surprised at the comments that they would purposefully buy something to spite them. Btw there is always the possibility that the couple does not know the host is requesting gift cards. I guess if you care about the person to attend, I am just surprised people would be so angry. Maybe if it bothers one so much, maybe you should politely decline the invite.
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| Posted 3/2/14 7:26 AM |
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Lannasmama
Love my girls
Member since 7/10 3580 total posts
Name:
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Re: No Bridal Registry
Does she already own a home/rent an apt? Maybe they have everything they need already so they didn't have to register.
I agree with the minority and would get the gift card. That's just me though.
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| Posted 3/2/14 7:28 AM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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No Bridal Registry
At first thought I felt it was tacky, but then I thought, isn't it kind of the same as noting that the bride is registered (with a list of specific items) at a specific store?
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| Posted 3/2/14 8:04 AM |
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Re: No Bridal Registry
While I would never do this, I have to say that my shower was almost 9 years ago and I don't use any of the stuff I registered for. I didn't even want to register because I'm not really a homey domestic kind of gal.
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| Posted 3/2/14 8:24 AM |
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blue11
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1706 total posts
Name:
kat
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No Bridal Registry
I would also be irked that they asked for amex or visa cards. Thats pretty much asking for cash. The point of a bridal shower is to celebrate the start of their life together and to help them get started off as a married couple - I could understand there's reasons why they prefer cash (small apt, have everything etc) but had they just worded the insert differently it would come off much better. For example, would appreciate gift cards so when we have house.....or we are saving for furniture or a tv....or will use towards honeymoon. Anything other than just asking for cash.
I would get a gift card to target or BBB.
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| Posted 3/2/14 9:12 AM |
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wakemeup
Member since 10/13 1397 total posts
Name:
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Re: No Bridal Registry
What exactly is the point of a bridal shower if she isn't registered? I'm being totally serious.
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| Posted 3/2/14 9:17 AM |
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Re: No Bridal Registry
Tacky, yes. But if that's what she really wants... I would just write a check. Makes it easier for you too.
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| Posted 3/2/14 10:00 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: No Bridal Registry
Posted by wakemeup
What exactly is the point of a bridal shower if she isn't registered? I'm being totally serious.
to shower the bride with gifts for the home. Not gift cards. I was invited to a wedding where their whole honeymoon was on the registry airline tixx, souvenirs, and room service. I kinda think if you can't afford to do those things for yourself, then lower your wedding budget. Appreciation is missed.
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| Posted 3/2/14 10:17 AM |
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Re: No Bridal Registry
Posted by wakemeup
What exactly is the point of a bridal shower if she isn't registered? I'm being totally serious.
That's what I said! You're supposed to shower people with gifts for their new life together
Eta: even if they have stuff, they can't own everything, or get new stuff. And the 'small apt' is bs too. They won't always live in a small apt most likely
Message edited 3/2/2014 10:24:23 AM.
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| Posted 3/2/14 10:20 AM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22148 total posts
Name:
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No Bridal Registry
nm
Message edited 3/2/2014 11:39:43 AM.
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| Posted 3/2/14 11:39 AM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: No Bridal Registry
I don't think you'll be the only one with a gift card. If you're really uncomfortable with it, maybe get a little token gift to go along with it.
I don't really see the harm in how the invitation was done. Plenty of people add thousands of dollars of gifts to a registry; I don't really see how this is terribly different.
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| Posted 3/2/14 12:32 PM |
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