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gabbie83
2 girls <3
Member since 6/08 3037 total posts
Name:
gabbie
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need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
just wondering if this is normal....
my DD is 9 days old, originally we got her a bassinet so she could sleep in our bedroom BUT my MIL schemed her way into staying with us for 2 months (long story - wont even waste my breath typing it up) anyway she insists on staying up during the night and keeping vigil. bc shes saying that the first 2 months are very impt and you gotta be careful, now my parents think shes nuts, so do I and I'm kinda ****** off bc the original plan was for dd to be in our bedroom and now she sleeps in her crib and MIL sits on the glider.
now i know that maybe i should take advantage of this and get my sleep when she stays up with her but im concerned bc i was wondering if babies can sense this and then once MIL leaves and im not going to stay up the entire night, will DD sense this??? I dont know if Im making sense but I hope someone gets me. im just all hormonal and MIL with her presence is not helping.
please dont quote.
should i let this be or start having DD in our bedroom in the bassinet?
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Posted 8/26/09 3:17 PM  |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
personally i would have LOVED someone staying up with ds! i dont think she'll sense it.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:19 PM |
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MrsFlatbread
Skinny jeans are in my future
Member since 6/06 10258 total posts
Name:
Baby Momma
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
I think its a bit much...not to mention...if she is that obsessed now...I think you are opening pandora's box...
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:21 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
It only depends on how you feel. Are you BF?
I'm doing Formula and my mother stayed with us for a little over a week and did all the night time feedings. This helped after the surgery and I was able to get some sleep. After that we put DS in the bassinet and he'd sleep next to me. I did miss my mom doing the feedings, but DS got better with a routine and now at 12 weeks he goes in at 7:30ish and has a loooong stretch. Anyway... it's your child. For now take advantage of the sleep, but eventually you may want DC in your room
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:23 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Please take your child back, now.
There is no reason for your MIL to sit vigil over you child. It's a bit stange.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:23 PM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
Name:
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by nov04libride
personally i would have LOVED someone staying up with ds! i dont think she'll sense it.
ME too!! especially being sleep deprived as i am now! but that being said-this is one of the strangest things i've ever heard...she sits in the room ALL night? i don't know about that 
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:24 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by MrsFlatbread
I think its a bit much...not to mention...if she is that obsessed now...I think you are opening pandora's box...
ITA. I'd start setting boundaries NOW. You need some room to be able to get into your own routines (especially where sleep is concerned) for the baby's and YOUR sake. And if you want her in your room, that's where I would put her tonight. She's YOUR baby not hers
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:24 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
If it were me.........first, there is NO way in h@ll I would let my MIL (or anyone for that matter) stay with me for 2 months with a new baby in the house. That being said, she's there BUT you're the mom. You do what you think is right. This your baby, not hers. If you're not comfortable with her sitting vigil (weird) with the baby then say so and have your baby in the room with you which is where you want her. Speak up now or you will get very resentful. If what is happening doesn't feel right to you then it probably isn't. Good luck!
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:24 PM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by saraH
Please take your child back, now.
There is no reason for your MIL to sit vigil over you child. It's a bit stange.
ITA!!!
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:25 PM |
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ruby
you rang?
Member since 6/08 5573 total posts
Name:
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
She needs to be fed throughout the night. Just explain that it is MUCH easier for you to have her next to you so that you can feed her each time she wakes and that it's important to you that YOU feed her, not MIL. (if that's really what you want). She can spend plenty of time with her throughout the day.
Trust me, it will only get worse w/MIL if you give in now.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:25 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by ME75
Posted by nov04libride
personally i would have LOVED someone staying up with ds! i dont think she'll sense it.
ME too!! especially being sleep deprived as i am now! but that being said-this is one of the strangest things i've ever heard...she sits in the room ALL night? i don't know about that
i mean, it is weird  but ds is 8 weeks and i am so sleep deprived i cry, so i would almost invite a bum in off the street to help w/ feedings!
the baby in your room is a mixed blessing--i didnt sleep at alll hearing every grunt and moan.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:27 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
While it does seem excessive, I don't think this will have a long term negative effect on your child.
You never know about the long term affect on your MIL though... I suspect you will or do already have boundary issues with her.
The plus side is there won't be a crib transition for you to lose sleep over (generally babies do better than their mommies, at least in my experience).
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:28 PM |
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MrsBurtch525
Year for change!
Member since 1/09 6017 total posts
Name:
Taryn
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by saraH
Please take your child back, now.
There is no reason for your MIL to sit vigil over you child. It's a bit stange.
I agree! I can see maybe a couple nights a week coming and helping like that but every night for 2 months....sounds a bit obsessive, if it were my baby, i would take back the night feedings, JMHO.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:30 PM |
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KartveliT
...
Member since 1/08 8363 total posts
Name:
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by MikesWife
Posted by saraH
Please take your child back, now.
There is no reason for your MIL to sit vigil over you child. It's a bit stange.
ITA!!!
ITA !!!!!!!!
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:30 PM |
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by saraH
Please take your child back, now.
There is no reason for your MIL to sit vigil over you child. It's a bit stange.
ITA!!
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:30 PM |
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Alli06
Baby #3 coming this June
Member since 8/05 6721 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
It sounds a bit strange, but all I keep thinking is how much I would of loved someone watching my DS during the night. I got no sleep the first few weeks, and I was a mess.
You can't spoil a newborn, so I doubt there will be any long term affects. My DS was in a bassinet next to us till almost 5 months. I started putting him in his crib for naps and then started putting him in for the night. He had no problem with the transition.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:36 PM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by Hofstra26
If it were me.........first, there is NO way in h@ll I would let my MIL (or anyone for that matter) stay with me for 2 months with a new baby in the house. That being said, she's there BUT you're the mom. You do what you think is right. This your baby, not hers. If you're not comfortable with her sitting vigil (weird) with the baby then say so and have your baby in the room with you which is where you want her. Speak up now or you will get very resentful. If what is happening doesn't feel right to you then it probably isn't. Good luck!
ITA. I wanted as much alone time with the baby. I wanted to be the first one DD saw when she would wake up, the first one to comfort her, the one to take care of her at all hours of the night, etc. But not everyone feels that way. And I absolutely wanted DD in my room. I personally think your MIL is breaking some boundaries and getting too close and playing too much of a "parent" role, but that is JMO, and someone else might feel completely different. If you are comfortable with it, it's ok. If you're not, well then, don't hesitate to tell her to back off.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:41 PM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
YOU are the child's mother! you decide where the baby sleeps.
if she wants to help, that is great, but you should decide when you need a relief crew.
i am sorry if i am coming off harsh, i just get so fired up when inlaws meddle too much.
this is your first baby, you need to enjoy her and experience everything for the first time yourself. we are all first time moms at some point so, in my mind the playing field is even.
if you plan on bfing, then life will def be easier if the baby sleeps in your room.
i dont know what your situation is but i am so anxious about it! i can only imagine what you are going through!!!
good luck!!
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:42 PM |
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gabbie83
2 girls <3
Member since 6/08 3037 total posts
Name:
gabbie
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
 my mom said please bring my granddaughter over tomorrow!!!!! the woman is psycho.
so atleast i feel better that im not the only one with my parents that thinks this is a bit strange.
she goes to sleep at like 6pm so she can wake up at like midnight and take her from me. i literally just want to cry, 
did ii mention that my mom was supposed to help me out in the beginning and instead MIL is ;(
im so frustrated ladies, its not even funny.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:45 PM |
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XcalystaX
Sooo Sleep Deprived....
Member since 7/06 2742 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Is she keeping vigil to avoid SIDS? I have to be honest i was terrified of SIDS and barely slept in the beginning because I was constantly making sure my DD was ok and breathing.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:47 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Can your DH speak to her? I mean really, this is just getting stranger and stranger.
Why would she take her from you??? The only way you are going to learn how to care for your child, is to do it yourself. Which it sounds like you are trying to do, but she is just barging in.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:47 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by saraH
Please take your child back, now.
There is no reason for your MIL to sit vigil over you child. It's a bit stange.
I couldn't agree more. I would not want my MIL sitting in my childs room all night long. That's weird! IMO! You are the mom, if you want the baby in your room that is where she should be. I know I wanted my newborn in my room with me and would not have let it be any other way. Its not like its a week or 2, its 2 months. I don't know I just think that's odd.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:49 PM |
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pixie
Member since 7/07 2089 total posts
Name:
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Wow...shes crazy. This is your DD and its your choice where, when, how your baby sleeps. She needs to find a hobby. If shes this nuts now its just going to get crazier so I think you need to put her in her place..at HER house asap.
Those first few weeks are absolutly insane but I didnt want to share the insanity with anyone other then my DD and DH. Its YOUR new family.
edited to add: there is an angelcare monitor that can replace your MIL in the rocker if SIDS scares her.
Message edited 8/26/2009 3:50:55 PM.
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:50 PM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Honestly, I think its strange. I'm one of the few, I guess, that enjoyed having my baby sleeping in my room right next to my bed. I didnt mind night time feedings so much.
I would definitely let her know - gently - that she can sit with her maybe 2 nights a week but thats it.
You're missing out on some bonding time with your baby!
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:50 PM |
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karjules
Love my Jules :)
Member since 1/07 2056 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: need advice - re:MIL keeping vigil w/ my newborn DD
Posted by NextStopBabytown
Posted by saraH
Please take your child back, now.
There is no reason for your MIL to sit vigil over you child. It's a bit stange.
ITA!!
There is no way I would ever allow this, take her back soon, that is the strangest thing I have ever heard 
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| Posted 8/26/09 3:50 PM |
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