Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

It's a really good thing I decided to take a "mental health" day today (which has turned out to be the exact opposite, but whatever........).

A little background--I am a teacher and my DH works from home. Our nanny was hired to be here from 8:30 to 5 M-F.

We hired a 21 year-old girl, who didn't tell us until her interview that she herself has a 13 month-old. But she told us that her grandmother was watching her daughter f/t so that she could get some work experience. I was a little skeptical, but the up-side was that even if her DD was sick, the grandma could still watch her. We were impressed with her, she had very creative ideas and a lot of energy, so we decided to hire her.

Big mistake.

About 3 weeks after we hired her, her grandma decided one Monday morning that she just "didn't feel like watching" her DD anymore. Whether I believe that is another story, but ok...

Add to it the fact that she has been late probably more than 15 times in the 10 weeks she's been with us, has been out sick 4 times, and has been having to bring her DD with her, resulting in my kids losing out on a LOT of attention. But today was the last straw.

As I said, I decided to take a mental health day today. That's another story altogether...

8:30 came and went. She wasn't here.

8:45.

9:00.

It's funny, because I woke up at 5:30 this morning with a nagging feeling that she was not going to show up today. Can't say why...

I get a call at 9:10. I think she probably had a bit of an adrenaline burst when she heard my voice on the other end of the line...my DH is a pushover of the worst kind and she probably thought he'd pick up and be nice about it, the way he's been so many times before.

She told me she had overslept, that her alarm hadn't gone off. I don't believe her for a second, and do you know why? Because only ONE TIME in the 22 months since I became a mom has my DD slept until 9. It was after our trip to NY...she had gone to bed at 4am.

I told her we weren't happy...that she could come over but that we were going to talk when she got here.

And we did. I was so angry I was shaking, but I managed to compose myself. I told her that Friday was her last day. She started crying.

I told her she was welcome to stay until Friday, or she didn't have to...the choice is hers.

I only gave her this option because DH is here, and has cameras rigged all over the house. So I know that he'll be keeping a close eye out for everything that's going on.

I'm so angry. She's upset because she "won't be able to support herself and her daughter". I countered with, "I'm sorry, but between you losing your job or my DH losing his, and we lose the house...sorry, but there's no contest".

Part of me is wondering if I should just pay her for today and send her on her way, since it says in our contract that excessive latenesses are a cause for immediate termination...

UPDATE: Monday evening...

I was out running errands most of the day. DH researched the laws as far as what we owe her. Even though it was in our contract that excessive lateness was cause for immediate termination, she had earned her first week of paid vacation. We were legally bound to pay her for that. So, we paid her for her work today, and her week of paid vacation and sent her on her way.

What a freakin' nightmare this day was. And to think, I took a day off from work that I really shouldn't have taken so I could "destress". I should have gone to work.

Message edited 10/25/2010 6:12:22 PM.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

I can imagine how that must have felt! I hope you're calming down now I think you made the right decision to let her go. I would have today be her last day!

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

You did the right thing.. Good Job... and "how is she going to support her dd??" Umm she should have thought of that when she was constantly late and unavailable and bringign her DD to work.

Life lesson for the 21 year old. personal responsibility. While I feel badly for her...you have to do whats right for your family.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

I would definitely make today her last day. Cameras or not, I wouldn't want anyone who was mad or had a grudge against me near my kids, kwim?

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

so sorry you have to go through this...ridiculous

if it were OnE time, fine

but she seems to have a bad record..

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

She wanted work experience, being late and getting fired for it, is part of learning the work experience. II would be proud that you taught her that valuable lesson and move on to another nanny.

Don't feel bad, if she's young and energetic she can do a lot of other things, than be your nanny. Don't let it get to you.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

I would be fuming too! you did the right thing. She sounds like an immature irresponsible 21 year old.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

How unprofessional!

I wonder if it is common for nannies to be unreliable. My friend loved her nanny but she would call out for having cramps during her period, take sick days left and right, was consistently late ALL the time, etc. They kept her for a year because she was good with their child. Eventually they put their son in daycare.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

I would tell her to leave today. Why until Friday. She;s been late, irresponsible and it sounds like she has a lot of chaos in her life. Being a nanny doesn't sound like the right job for her and she doesn't seem right for your family. It's natural to feel sorry for someone but you have to do what you have to do.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

You did the right thing. And if it were me, I would make today her last day. Given her track record, if she hasn't cared to abide by your contract before, she's certainly not going to care now that she's on her way out.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

Posted by MrsRivera

Posted by Bridex100

How unprofessional!

I wonder if it is common for nannies to be unreliable. My friend loved her nanny but she would call out for having cramps during her period, take sick days left and right, was consistently late ALL the time, etc. They kept her for a year because she was good with their child. Eventually they put their son in daycare.

DH actually went to bat for her for the same reason. She's great with the kids. But if we can't rely on her to be here regularly and on time, what's the sense in having her?

Looks like my kids are going to daycare--we don't have time to look for someone else. Was so not ready to put my 4 month-old into daycare I know my DD will be just fine, she loves it there (goes 2 mornings per week right now), but he's still so young...

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

Sorry you had to do that - that stinks. But you need to be able to rely on the person who watches your children. Sounds like you have been more then understanding - some people need to learn the hard way.

As for daycare, my DS started around 4 months - he was fine. And I think sometimes it's easier for them to start a little younger - he took to it so well and he loves it now. But 2 new girls started there recently and the older one has been having such a hard time transitioning to it.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

I think you did the right thing. My nanny is the same age and she is very professional, and has never ever been even a minute late (knock wood )

You have to do what's right for you and your kids - don't feel guilty for a second.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

ITA with you firing her but I would have sent her home asap b/c I wold be sooo paranoid she would do something spiteful

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

I used to have nannies and had one that pulled all this nonsense on me as well, the excuses, always not feeling well,calling in sick etc. My opinion, get rid of her today. I just wouldnt want her in the house now that she knows Friday is her last day. One of the other posters suggested an AuPair and I have to tell you, I am on my third and its the best thing I ever did. FM me if you want details.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

Pay her and send her on her way. You def did the right thing!

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

You did the right thing, you can't let her just keep taking advantage of you like that. Her behavior is unacceptable. Sometimes it takes a few nannies before you can find one that works for you. So sorry you have to go through this.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...

So unfortunate being a mom herself that she can't keep it together and be responsible & she was for sure taking advantage of your DH being home with being late almost every morning. You just taught her a great lesson. Sometimes you got to trust your instincts at the start.

Re: Just fired my nanny...I am shaking, I'm so mad...