Is this rude or normal?

Say your child kicks a ball into a neighbor's fenced backyard. Do you tell your child to go to the door and ask if they can retrieve it or do you tell them just to open the gate and retrieve the item without checking to see if someone is home first? Assume you don't know the neighbors that well.

I'm not sure if I'm out of touch with today's norms or if my neighbors are rude.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

As kids, we would always ring the doorbell first and ask to get the ball before going into their backyard. I would expect my kids to do the same in the future.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

I'd prefer kid to ring my bell...
But as a kid, I'd just get it myself.

Is this rude or normal?

just go get it

Re: Is this rude or normal?

As a parent, I'd want my kid to ask the neighbor.

But, as a kid, we'd jump fences to get our stuff out of the neighbors yard.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

Depends if you are friendly with the neighbors.

Growing up we were very friendly with our next door neighbors on one side - so we knew they were fine with us just going and getting it.

For a while our neighbor on the other side was a huge b - so we would knock and ask, if she was not home we would just go get it.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

Is this rude or normal?

I actually put a key lock now on my gate bc the neighbors kids went into my yard all the time without asking and TWICE it created a problem. Once they left the gate open and my little chihuahua got out and we were searching the neighborhood for hours.. not easy spotting a 4 pound dog who can get into everything.
Second time my dogs were out and they didn't know and my lab went after them, not to hurt but to jump on and greet, and the kid got knocked down.
I always asked my neighbors. If you are friendly enough they will probably tell you not to ask in the future and to just to come over and get it.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

What if the ball gets kicked/thrown repeatedly? Do you ask the neighbor each time or is this a one shot deal?

I would speak to my neighbor once and ask "the ball sometimes goes over the fence do you mind if we just go get it when that happens?" Then I would be responsible to make sure their gate is shut and would teach DC depending on their age

Re: Is this rude or normal?

As a kid, I always just wanted to go get it. Plus, we were super close with all of our neighbors so we knew it was fairly acceptable.

Now things are different. and if I didn't know my neighbors I wouldn't be comfortable with it- as an adult or a kid.

Is this rude or normal?

Depends on your relationship. With my neighbors growing up, it would be normal. With my current neighbors, it would also be a non- issue.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

Depends... if it's close to the gate we used to just hop over, grab it, throw it back and hop back. All in about 5 minutes. If I was looking in my backyard and saw a kid do that once I'd be fine with it. If it was happening a lot then I'd be annoyed. I'd say it was time to find a new spot to play.
If the ball went across to the other side then I might has DS go and ring the doorbell.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

As kids we just hopped and got it. My moms neighbor the kids always knocked - I found that annoying. I would just rather they get it.
If they have a dog I think it is best to knock otherwise just hop and get :)

Re: Is this rude or normal?

I would NEVER let my child just walk into someone's yard and honestly, I'd be pi$$ed if someone just walked into mine. I have a dog that's outside a lot in the nicer weather and if someone didn't know that and just walked through my gate she could easily get loose. I think the polite and appropriate thing to do in this case is to knock on the neighbors door. You really shouldn't just walk into someone's yard without being invited in.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

Re: Is this rude or normal?

Re: Is this rude or normal?

They usually knock.
I was once outside and the kid didn't know it and I caught him trying to hop my fence
My fence is PVC and not exactly easy to climb either.
He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw me.

I have a pool and I am not comfortable with people coming into my yard like that. We keeps our gates locked to keep kids out of our yard and pool.

Is this rude or normal?

I live next to a park. We always have balls in our yard. they always ask.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

Just to clarify, the balls are coming into my yard. It's a fairly regular occurrence as we live on a corner and the kids play on the street next to our yard. We only see the neighbors once in a while and just say hi. We're not close at all.

I'm just annoyed because they never asked if it would be ok if they just came in and got balls when it happened. They just started doing it. I feel like they should have at least asked, but I wasn't sure if I was being old school or not.

Then this morning, since I had locked the gate over the weekend when DS was playing alone back there, a ball came into the yard and of course the kid couldn't get it. So he does the right thing by coming to the door, but he rang the bell like 10 times and then proceeded to bang on the door! It's just extra irritating b/c this kid is never supervised outside (he's 5 or 6), and of course mom wasn't there today to teach him proper protocol.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

Is this rude or normal?

My neighbors next door have a pool and their balls always come into our yard when they're playing in the pool. The first time it happened, they rang the bell and I told them they could get it but warned them that my dog was in the yard. Since then, they just come in and get it by themselves. Or we throw them back over the fence if we're out there.

Is this rude or normal?

My neighbors knock. I told them just go get it if the dog is in the back just expect to get licked.

Re: Is this rude or normal?

Our neighbors didn't close our gate all the way a couple of times and our dog got out. Now they knock first.

Is this rude or normal?

Our neighbors behind us ask and our neighbor two doors down usually just jumps over.

When DS hits a ball into another person's yard - what we do depends on which neighbor's yard (we have 5 back yards bordering ours...) Right next door - we send him over and watch him, but, if it's one of the ones in the back we ask them to throw it over (and do the same).

Re: Is this rude or normal?

If yard is fenced in a knock door, heads up is the right thing to do whether you know them or not. We are fenced all around and I would not want someone in our yard unannounced, same with our kids in another fenced in yard..

Our neighbors we are friendly with that are not fenced in occasionally our kids ball goes in their yard over our fence and they will just go get it.