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lbride
Lovin' my mini man!
Member since 3/07 2475 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Is this a normal parent reaction?
I can understand it a little. My niece was the only baby for 2 years and we all showered her with attention (like constantly). Now she definitely has to share the spotlight with 3 other cousins and things changed for her.
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Posted 2/9/13 10:00 PM  |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Is this a normal parent reaction?
just playing devil's advocate but...
you said it was a difficult road for you to get pregnant. your sn says miracles in progress. these babies are already special. they will always be special because they are miracles to you (and i'm sure your whole family). this being said, they will be treated differently and will get more attention.
of course, none of this excuses her making that comment. she should have just kept that to herself.
congrats on your twins!
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| Posted 2/9/13 10:06 PM |
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OverTheMoon
LIF Infant
Member since 8/12 80 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a normal parent reaction?
Posted by nrthshgrl
I'm sorry she said that.
I wish it wasn't a "normal reaction" but I had someone do it to me. I didn't take offense. I took it as she is ridiculously insecure & doesn't know that the heart grows not shrinks when you add more people to love.
Perfectly put!
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| Posted 2/9/13 11:16 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Is this a normal parent reaction?
I cant definitly understand your SIL's sentiment-- aside from being happy for you, thinking how it will affect her DC-- however um, keep it to yourself??? I think this was a case of no filter- but the sentiment itself doesnt make her a horrible person.
When I was pregnant with my first DD, my DH's sister who swore up and down that she was done having kids after her two girls, ended up getting pregnant a few months later with her third-- (and told everyone it was an accident-- although even her own mother didnt buy it for a second) .. anyway, to be honest, I was actually Po'd because of how it was going to effect MY family-- she had free child care from her parents for 7 years and DH and I thought we were next in line for that help with having our first-- her having the third baby foiled those plans =)
Not sure if that is a factor or not in your situation. FOr what its worth I am in love with my newest nephew! COngrats on your twins!!
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| Posted 2/9/13 11:28 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a normal parent reaction?
My initial thought was that she said it in a joking manner...knowing you had struggles, knowing how thrilled the family is for you, knowing these are special miracle babies, knowing everyone is going to be waiting anxiously for their arrival....and that when they do get here, they are going to have everyone's undivided attention. Given that you said she is so happy for you, I wouldn't think that she meant that to come across as poorly as it did.
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| Posted 2/9/13 11:55 PM |
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Strawberry2468
It's summatime
Member since 3/09 4739 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Is this a normal parent reaction?
She sounds insecure. My nephew is also 8 and I have twins and he definitley not forgotten. He will always be the first grandchild. Thats kind of like saying that people don't care as much about their 2nd or 3rd children because they already have one.
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| Posted 2/10/13 9:05 AM |
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tomcat
LIF Adult Cat
Member since 6/12 1308 total posts
Name:
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Is this a normal parent reaction?
most definitely insecure.
i hate when people do that. careless about OTHER people's emotions.
i understand insecurity, i do. which is why i have such a problem sharing the hurt they cause when they say something so ... thoughtless.
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| Posted 2/10/13 9:31 AM |
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Traysee
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 652 total posts
Name:
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Is this a normal parent reaction?
My SIL said the same thing but it didn't phase me at all because I am not close with my IL's. I agree with the PP who said it's human nature to personalize everything with how it will affect their lives. But with that said, you are much closer with your in laws and she probably is feeling a little of sibling rivalry toward you. Regardless of if she feels that way, she shouldn't have made the comment.
Congrats on your twins!! Welcome to the club :O)
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| Posted 2/10/13 10:45 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Is this a normal parent reaction?
Posted by FirstMate
My initial thought was that she said it in a joking manner...knowing you had struggles, knowing how thrilled the family is for you, knowing these are special miracle babies, knowing everyone is going to be waiting anxiously for their arrival....and that when they do get here, they are going to have everyone's undivided attention. Given that you said she is so happy for you, I wouldn't think that she meant that to come across as poorly as it did.
This is what I thought
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| Posted 2/10/13 11:32 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Is this a normal parent reaction?
She IS right. Her DS will have to share attention and won't be the baby anymore.
I'm sure she's really happy for you...
But this is her baby. Your kids will change her life a little. Also for the better.
My sister is pregnant. My parents will have to devote less attention to my kids, I will need to depend on them less, but I am so excited to have some close cousins for my kids!
Congrats on your pregnancy. Try not to take her emotions too personally!
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| Posted 2/10/13 1:50 PM |
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Re: Is this a normal parent reaction?
There's inside voice, and then there's outside voice. She should have made sure those voices were different when she spoke to you!
Congratulations!!!!!!
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| Posted 2/10/13 7:38 PM |
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Re: Is this a normal parent reaction?
Posted by lipglossjunky73
There's inside voice, and then there's outside voice. She should have made sure those voices were different when she spoke to you!
Congratulations!!!!!!
Thanks! This is my train of thought too... I feel like if she feels it- that's fine, but did you really need to say it in front of us? And there's NO doubt that she's happy for us-- and as I said it wasn't said nastily, but I'm still kind of shocked that this is their train of thought...
For YEARS it was "can you make me an aunt already" and "DS needs some cousins"... and now that that's (God willing) hopefully happening soon--- now you're worried he's going to be left behind?  
And I DO get it, as much as I can from an aunt point of view-- I said to my DH that I don't want to be the aunt and uncle who just vanish b/c we're too busy in our own kids lives... they've all always been extremely important to me/us--- and I LOVE that they're all so excited about getting cousins!   I think the grown ups need to learn a few lessons from the kids!  I feel that her feelings are valid, and she's entitled to feel however she may--- but sometimes it's better to keep your thoughts to yourself, or at least to share them with someone when we aren't 2 feet away. Her DS wanted to know if he could come to the hospital...
Thanks for all of the replies! 
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| Posted 2/10/13 10:19 PM |
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