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Nik211
my little monkey<3
Member since 5/08 3303 total posts
Name:
Nik
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I'm just going to say it....
please no flames....
but i hope i get pregnant the first try again...i'm not ready to try yet but i'm getting there - slowly....
it's kind of like that nervous excitment i felt when i knew i was taking my last round of bcps. i am starting to feel the anxiousness and the excitement. the wondering are we ready yet? are we really going to try to bring life into the world? are we crazy?  but mixed in are feelings i didn't have the last time. feelings of fear about losing another one. i am more scared than i have ever been about anything in my life. but i know we can't have a baby unless we try. i was scared the first time i got a bfp. i was worried about miscarriage b/c i knew it was a possiblity and didn't want to take anything for granted. but having gone through it personally the fear is multiplied times 1,000 (at least!). it is a REAL fear now. i know how bad it hurts first hand and that really makes the fear real.
i know it is naive, but i really hope i can conceive quickly again. sometimes it's like the one hope i have left (meaning i know i can pregnant but i don't know if i can stay pregnant). the first time seemed so effortless. and even though i have all of these fears that keep me up at night the bottom line is i just want to be pregnant again
i get so happy when i see bfps here. it is a different world here for me. it isn't real life and it doesn't sting. the bfps give me hope. i know how good it felt to poas and see pregnant! i get so happy for each and every one i see on here even though i don't take the time to post a "congratulations". i am happy for all of you and hope you all have smooth sailing ahead of you. i don't want anyone to feel the way i have felt the last few weeks.
when i go on the miscarriage board i literally tear up. i swear. i cry for every loss because i know how it feels. it seems like every week someone new joins the board. i hate that. i hate that someone's dreams were crushed just like mine were. it is a horror.
i hope i get my baby. this post seems so selfish, i almost feel embarrased to be writing this b/c i know that we all want a child of our own on this board. what makes my want more than someone else's?
i guess i just needed to get this out. i must be pms'ing.
   for all of us. i hope we all get our wish and if you could spare a few prayers for my husband and myself it would be appreciated - we need it 
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Posted 1/21/11 2:31 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
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| Posted 1/21/11 2:35 PM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
You are not selfish. We all feel the same way. IRL in can be tough, but on here, you're right there's no need for jealousy. Someone else getting a BFP doesn't prevent me from getting one. LOL. I hope that it is easy and wonderful for all of us!!!
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| Posted 1/21/11 2:36 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
i think all of us that have experienced a loss would like to get the BFP asap...
id be lying if i wasnt hoping for it to happen for me right now as well..
and i agree about how different it is for a BFP on this board, even when it happens on the first try... it TOTALLY different than a BFP IRL...
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| Posted 1/21/11 2:36 PM |
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kelkel09
Love my twins!!!
Member since 6/10 5183 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
don't feel selfish or bad for feeling that way. I think it's totally normal to feel that way, especially after you had to deal with a loss. I haven't had a loss, but have been dealing with fertility issues so I definitely understand the stress, anxiety and just anxiousness you are feeling about getting a bfp. I want everyone here to get their bfps so no one has to deal with how hard this process is. good luck!!!!!!!
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| Posted 1/21/11 2:42 PM |
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Nik211
my little monkey<3
Member since 5/08 3303 total posts
Name:
Nik
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
i'm glad you guys understand
we all want one thing. i know that i am no different than anyone else here. obviously we all want a  in our lives. i just neded to get it out. it's one of those days and i'm just feeling brutally honest...
ttc/pregnancy is crazy. now i know why WOMEN bear children. men just couldn't do it:!
and since i am in an honest kind of mood - condoms S-U-C-K! i can't wait to  again for reals!! i have to laugh about it - otherwise i'll go crazy!
Message edited 1/21/2011 2:44:34 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/11 2:42 PM |
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
I hope you do too!!!! 
My heart literally ached for you. I felt so bad and cannot even imagine going through that. Don't ever ever feel selfish. You are the furthest from that. I pray for you and hope you get your BFP quickly. You deserve all the happiness in the world!
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| Posted 1/21/11 2:50 PM |
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apples99
love my sunshine..
Member since 11/08 1535 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
aww Nik, I hope so too! I was sooo excited for you when you first announced and I when I read what happend.. o gosh..
And you are so right.. seeing bfp's here give me such joy and happiness.. even though i don't know anyone of the girls in IRL and probably wouldn't even recognize them in IRL, we have shared so much of each other here.. ttc and much more.. I'm truly, truly happy for each " " I see..
 to all
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| Posted 1/21/11 3:39 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
You got me choked up!
I pray that you and your husband are blessed with a little one very soon. I wish that for all the ladies on this board. I had a random thought today about how many people in this world deal with unwanted pregnancies...and here is a board filled with women praying for a little miracle and ready and willing to provide a loving home.
I pray that the love the we share with our DH's manifests into new life... for all
Message edited 1/21/2011 3:52:21 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/11 3:51 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
awwwwww
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| Posted 1/21/11 3:55 PM |
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apples99
love my sunshine..
Member since 11/08 1535 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
this such a mushy thread.. making me tear up.. 
eta: would being too emotional have something to do with the 2WW?? I'm on a roll here.. 
Message edited 1/21/2011 4:01:36 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/11 4:00 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
Posted by ar31
this such a mushy thread.. making me tear up..
eta: would being too emotional have something to do with the 2WW?? I'm on a roll here..
I'm with ya! All teary 
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| Posted 1/21/11 4:10 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
i hope you and all of get a bfp soon
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| Posted 1/21/11 4:34 PM |
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KPanas
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 1691 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
I can totally relate to you everything you wrote. I am all teary reading this as well.
I do not think you are selfish at all!
Message edited 1/21/2011 4:53:01 PM.
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| Posted 1/21/11 4:52 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
not selfish at all, totally normal IMO
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| Posted 1/21/11 5:20 PM |
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KimberlyScott
Graceyn=My World <3
Member since 10/08 4173 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
Posted by KevinNKristin8-15-08
I hope you do too!!!!
My heart literally ached for you. I felt so bad and cannot even imagine going through that. Don't ever ever feel selfish. You are the furthest from that. I pray for you and hope you get your BFP quickly. You deserve all the happiness in the world!
I second this!!
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| Posted 1/21/11 5:33 PM |
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Daisy25
LIF Infant
Member since 9/10 356 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
Sending you some
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| Posted 1/21/11 6:34 PM |
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Nik211
my little monkey<3
Member since 5/08 3303 total posts
Name:
Nik
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
thank you girls
this whole situation has been crazy and honestly i don't know what i would do without this site. only a few people IRL know that i was even pregnant so as far as support goes we really only have our parents. it's not like people IRL knew that we were TTC in the first place or will be TTC again soon. if it weren't for "here" i would feel so alone and isolated right now.
this was def a mushy thread <3
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| Posted 1/21/11 7:07 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
You cant even imagine how I am like "please get pregnant, please get pregnant"...I feel like i didnt only let down myself but all that knew. I just want happiness for all again. It sux that we are in this situation. I almost regret carrying for so long. Wishing everyone healthy 2011 babies 
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| Posted 1/21/11 8:29 PM |
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gabbie83
2 girls <3
Member since 6/08 3037 total posts
Name:
gabbie
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
awww nik
hope you get your BFP quickly
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| Posted 1/21/11 9:08 PM |
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MrsSx2
Finally a MOM!
Member since 11/10 2222 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: I'm just going to say it....
Awww! Wishing you a BFP soon and a healthy pregnancy!
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| Posted 1/21/11 10:11 PM |
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