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ns1011
I'm wide awake
Member since 4/09 2697 total posts
Name:
Nic
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I'm having a meltdown
I don't know why but I just got off the train from work and got into my car and burst into tears. Now I'm home and I can't stop crying. Thank God DH is not home right now.
I'm totally convinced that I'm out this month, just like every other month for the past 9 months.  I feel exactly the same as I do every cycle right down to the smallest detail. I know that everyone says that you can feel like AF is coming and still get a BFP, but I just have this gut wrenching feeling each month that it's not gonna happen, and lo and behold - it doesn't.
I never ever thought it would be like this. I've never had any issues other than heavy periods, but my doctor did a sono and ruled out any cysts or fibroids.
I've already made my appointment for my CD 3 bloodwork for next Tuesday bc I know AF is gonna show up right in the midst of this holiday weekend. I also have to make the appt for an HSG which I am very nervous about for some reason. DH has a script for an SA but he is being such a PITA about going for it. I feel so helpless. I'm doing everything I can to help things along, but nothing seems to be making a difference. I've changed my lifestyle so much that it's starting to become an obsession.
I know I have a lot to be thankful for, but I can't help feeling so bitter that this is not working out the way I had wanted it to. To make matters worse, I am going to be 30 next month and I had always told DH I wanted to be a mom by 30 or at least PG. I know it's not the most important thing, but its so depressing to look back and see how much time has gone by and how I pass the time by counting cycles.
Sorry for the long vent and pity party. I can't really carry on with DH about this bc he get frusturated with me and tells me to try to think about something else  .
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Posted 6/30/10 7:18 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
babylove628
mommy of two!
Member since 11/09 2733 total posts
Name:
Maggie
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
you are allowed to have a meltdown. This is a frustrating process, I wish you all the best, keep your head held high, it will happen.
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| Posted 6/30/10 7:23 PM |
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SKPtzu
Oh boys
Member since 6/08 1388 total posts
Name:
SKPtzu
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
you get your BFP soon! 
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| Posted 6/30/10 7:26 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
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| Posted 6/30/10 7:26 PM |
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FlowerWife
Positive Vibrations...
Member since 1/08 8423 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
i think anyone who has been TTC for a while has days like that, esp. when AF is near.
you're not alone. i have been TTC for 14 months and although i have a whole slew of issues keeping me from my sticky BFP, it doesn't make it any easier!!
it will be our time soon. hey, it may even be your time now!! try to keep your head up and stay positive, a positive attitude is all we have left to make this journey halfway bearable!!
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| Posted 6/30/10 8:01 PM |
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
Ive had those types of meltdowns so I totally understand.
Feel free to vent to us
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| Posted 6/30/10 9:15 PM |
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Harlow-J
Mason's mommy!
Member since 12/09 3623 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
Just wanted to give you some
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| Posted 6/30/10 9:33 PM |
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mimid15
LIF Infant
Member since 10/09 347 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
Let it out!!!
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| Posted 6/30/10 10:17 PM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
I'm sorry you are having a bad day and hope you are feeling better. Good luck this month and I hope you get a BFP! The train sometimes makes me have a meltdown too. Too much time to just sit and think and obsess over TTC.!!!! 
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| Posted 6/30/10 10:26 PM |
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Shelleybean11
Mommy of 2!
Member since 12/08 11013 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
I'm so sorry I really hope this is your month
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| Posted 6/30/10 10:31 PM |
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mrsyoungmommy
can't wait to meet Sophia!
Member since 6/10 1441 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
im so sorry you are dealing with this. i don't have too much insight into the TTC process, bc we first started, but i do know you will get your BFP.
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| Posted 6/30/10 10:50 PM |
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ns1011
I'm wide awake
Member since 4/09 2697 total posts
Name:
Nic
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I woke up this morning and figured I would POAS and put myself out of my misery. And of course a BFN. I'm so crushed.  I am just so frusturated bc I really feel like something just isn't right and I don't think DH wants to believe it. He is so lax and laid back and every month just keeps saying "It will happen". He just won't accept that maybe it's not going to happen the way he always pictured it would and that we might need a little help.
Oh well, I have my bloodwork scheduled and once AF shows, I will make the appt for the HSG. I think I might start temping even though, I already use the CBEFM and my cycles are very regular. I really just don't know what more I can do.
Thank you 
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| Posted 7/1/10 6:53 AM |
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Exarina
My Two Girls
Member since 12/09 1249 total posts
Name:
Lisa Marie
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
Ughhhhhh we all have these dont we. Crying is good! I know how you feel
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| Posted 7/1/10 8:15 AM |
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LoLaBlue
PARTY OF 5
Member since 6/10 6900 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
This is a very frustrating process & we are all here whenever you want to vent! crying always makes me feel better so cry away
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| Posted 7/1/10 8:16 AM |
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wants2bamom
Praying For A Miracle
Member since 10/09 1652 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
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| Posted 7/1/10 9:17 AM |
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MrsKS
Thank You St. Gerard.....
Member since 12/09 8306 total posts
Name:
Kerri
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
I'm so sorry.
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| Posted 7/1/10 5:27 PM |
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SummerMom
Now a mom of 2!
Member since 6/07 4970 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
I'm so sorry. Ttc for 9 months is a long time; I can't even imagine how you feel.
Remember that you can vent to us any time! Whatever your situation, you will find at least one (possibly many) girls who have been through it before and can give you support and advice. It's what we're here for.
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| Posted 7/1/10 7:10 PM |
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kimbiz1
LIF Infant
Member since 3/10 140 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
Posted by babylove628
you are allowed to have a meltdown. This is a frustrating process, I wish you all the best, keep your head held high, it will happen.
ITA
It will happen for you.
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| Posted 7/1/10 7:13 PM |
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DaisyGirl
LIF Adult
Member since 2/08 1650 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a meltdown
I'm sorry this isn't going the way you want it too. TTC can be so frustrating. I definitely feel your pain. It sounds like you are taking steps to figure out if something is wrong which is a good thing. It can put your mind at ease if nothing else.
I went for an HSG a few months ago. It's not terrible at all. It was over quickly and it gave me peace of mind.
My DH is going for a SA and is not thrilled about it either. I don't think it's something any guy looks forward too.
I hope you get some answers and your BFP soon! It will happen!
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| Posted 7/2/10 8:26 AM |
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