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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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I'm having a hard time today...
I try not to post many woe is me posts, but I'm having a really hard time getting through the day today and I just need to vent somewhere.
I'm making my parents a calendar of Logan pictures for Christmas and as I look back on the first 18 months of his life I'm so thankful for all the time we've had.
But at the same time I see pictures from last year this time and see a happy healthy DH.
And I know now that the cancer was already eating up his insides.
And as I choose the pictures I realized that I'm being careful not to include him in any for the later months next year because I don't know if he'll still be with us.
I'm really really trying to stay focused on THIS Christmas and the time we have THIS year and be in the moment and thankful for that.
But there's this little voice in the back of my head that's putting so much pressure on me to enjoy everything that I'm enjoying nothing.
This is hard. 
Thanks for listening. 
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Posted 12/11/08 10:21 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
1stimemom
Love my boys
Member since 2/08 8766 total posts
Name:
Mrs Dee
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:23 AM |
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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
i cant imagine how difficult that must be 
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:23 AM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
I'm sorry, I know it's easier said then done, but try to focus on the here and now - what's good.
But know that it's OK to have a hard day, and you deserve the hugs on these days.
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:23 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
I wish I had the right words to say right now. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:23 AM |
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trnity44
I hope you stay beautiful baby
Member since 5/05 8356 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:24 AM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this.
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:24 AM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
Oh sweetie, I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is for you and your family.
We are all here anytime you need to talk, vent or what have you
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:24 AM |
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:25 AM |
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
First off,
Unfortunately, I have experience with what you were going through because of my stepsister.
The holidays pressure people into feeling "happy" when really, it is not where you can be right now. Feel what you need to feel. If you don't, it manifests in ways that you will not have any control over.
Also, choose the pictures you want. Don't worry about the pictures in the future months! No matter what the future brings, those pictures are still happy and you may always want to see them!!!!
Im sorry you are going thru this. I really am!!!!
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:25 AM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
I am so sorry. What a tough road you've been given. I read your blog all the time and I find it poignant, illuminating, and beautifully written. I need to thank you for pointing out the enormous gift that is my mundane life, I so often forget.
Maybe today is NOT the day for this photo project? Can you put it aside and come back to it in a day or two? SPend some quality time with your lovies and you'll have a better frame of reference for selecting the pix?
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:25 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
I can't even imagine how hard this is for you. I wish there was some words to say to make this easier.
You are an amazingly strong woman - and we are here for you ALWAYS if you ever need to vent/cry/breakdown/curse/scream!
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:27 AM |
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Suzanne
May the Force Be With You!
Member since 5/05 2083 total posts
Name:
Suzanne
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:29 AM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:30 AM |
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want2beamom
Love my boys soooo much!!!
Member since 8/06 10164 total posts
Name:
True love doesn't end with happily ever after...
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
I wish I could find the right words to make you feel better
Message edited 12/11/2008 10:32:15 AM.
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:31 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14007 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:33 AM |
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mypumpkin
It's a beautiful day! :)
Member since 7/08 2296 total posts
Name:
Dee
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:34 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:34 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
I keep looking for your posts on here, because I want to know that you are still posting, still staying connected. I know you don't know how much time you have and whether the photos will upset you next year or not, but choose the photos you love. Try to worry about next year, next year.
Take it one day at a time and vent away when you need to.
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:34 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
you have so much on your plate right now, but you are being so strong. many many for you. and NEVER feelt guilty about needing to vent! that is what we are here for. if you ever need more support please, plese ask us!
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:35 AM |
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nmp070106
My girls!!
Member since 8/06 5843 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
im so sorry there are no words...... Tessure every moment you have................
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:35 AM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
Posted by want2beamom
I wish I could find the right words to make you feel better
Me too
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:36 AM |
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Sweets13
Bella Bambini
Member since 5/05 9300 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:36 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
I am so sorry!
We are all here for you!
If you need ANYTHING please FM me ...I can make you some more pasta 
Hugs to you and Logan...you will get through it!
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:38 AM |
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Kotka
Mom to two boys :)
Member since 5/05 3384 total posts
Name:
Jola
(pronounced Yola)
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Re: I'm having a hard time today...
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| Posted 12/11/08 10:39 AM |
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