I'm feeling a little down...

I am a regular poster but have created a new name because some people on here know me personally and i'm feeling embarrassed right now.

I'm feeling down because someone that is close to me has been constantly commenting on my weight. I know I have gained weight since giving birth 2 years ago i'm not stupid but to hear it constantly is getting to me. First this person comments on how big my chest is and that it's just not normal and now this person just mentioned it again and even said you really are getting big. I tried to pay no mind but this person kept on going and said "are you planning on getting as big as a cow, when are you going to do something about it". I know I shouldn't let it bother me but I am a sensitive person. I've been crying...I've had other people comment too saying "wow your chest is looking really big". or "you've gotten a bigger since I've last seen you". God is something wrong with me cuz my chest is big or is it big cuz I have gained weight. Geez I just feel like something is wrong with me...

Please don't quote me cuz I will request that this post be removed later on...

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

stay away from this person, there negative vibes are horrible !!!! you should tell that person that their comments are bothering you or the next time that they say something about your chest, say something smart like "jealous?!" with a smirk. don't let them get you down.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

Why are you still around these people? They just sound like mean, hurtful individuals. It's nobody's business what you do with your body. I think you really need to say, "Your comments are hurting my feelings, please keep your opinions about me to yourself."

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

It's so hard to put these comments behind you. I have also had these types of comments said to me.

The question is: How do you feel about yourself? Before I comment further, I'd like to know how you feel about your body.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

I know how you feel, and it's not good

These people really do think that they are helping. But they are making any prospect of losing weight MORE overwhelming for you. And, you can't do anything until you're ready.

Since you said that it is really hurting you and you were crying...it sounds to me like you are ready.

If you need help, I am only an FM away. It CAN be done...I am proof of it! Do not look at the big picture and how much you have to lose. Just look at each little step at a time.

But FIRST - I think you should say something to this person (or people if it's more than one). The next time they make a comment, you should be honest and say "you know, you are REALLY hurting my feelings and you are NOT helping me." They will come up with excuses, but honestly there is no excuse for them to make passive-aggressive comments like that. If they want to get the point across...there is a nicer, more sympathetic way to do so.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

Can you elaborate as to who "this person" is? I would probably answer differently based on the persons relationship with you. NEVER should you allow to let anyone make you feel bad about who you are. If its great grandma sally who springs everything from her mouth...then to me it would be her age and just alot of nonsense...KWIM...
Also, wanted to add that I agree with STeph, if you are crying about it then it is effecting you. Losing weight after a child is hard...we all know. Take it one day at a time and you will feel so much better. I am also losing baby weight from around the same time period as you. It didnt just "fall off". If you need some motivation just fm me.

Message edited 9/24/2008 10:46:34 AM.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

I have issues with my weight also....but without the comments from others. I can't imagine how hurtful that would be. That's terrible that someone would ever say anything to you about it.
I look at my weight this way....I gained weight creating an amazing little person. And, yes, it's taken time to lose the weight....I've still got quite a bit to go. But seeing my daughter happy is my main goal right now. The weight is like a little reminder of the fact that I created life. Why rush to get rid of it?

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

Why are some people so damn obsessed with pople's weight?? Please don't pay this person any attention.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

first of all

second -- anyone who would question you about 'planning on getting as big as a cow' -- IS A JERK! There IS a way to give CONSTRUCTIVE criticism - WITHOUT being insulting -- this person completely lacks that ability

i agree with the PP - stay away from this person -- if that is not possible (this person is a family member) - then I would flat out tell them that if they don't have anything nice to say, they should keep their trap shut! IF they are that concerned, they certainly aren't helping with those comments.

there is nothing wrong with you!

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

p.s. - i am in PJ (not sure where you're located)

if you need a workout partner, let me know. even if its just going for a brisk walk, i'm here

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

Wow What an insensistive jerk that person is. I hope that they see how cruel they are being. I am in the same boat, 2 years later and heavier than I've ever been. It's a struggle, but I am doing it on my own terms and don't need anyone reminding me. When they do, I lose all motivation!

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

all I can say is hollyyyyyy moly! this person is not your friend! this is extremely vicious,
I wouldn't even tell a friend they are looking bigger, nicely or not.
There is a bigger issue with this person.
SHe seems resentful or just downright mean.
She is a emotional vampire--I know the type...stay away...
You do it for yourself if you choose to--not for anyone else insulting you.
fm me if u ever want to talk

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

I'm so sorry, that was just rude. Maybe they were trying to motivate you to lose weight but that's not the way to go about it.

There is nothing wrong with you. Your friend or family member clearly lacks social grace.

And if it makes you feel any better, I'm well past fat cow stage, and am now a full blown whale.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

I'll put it out there since the post is going to be pulled. Please don't quote in case this post stays up.

etd.

Feel free to FM if you want to talk. Now that I'm starting to gain weight again, this post hit home in ways I wanted to forget but need to remember.

Message edited 9/24/2008 7:53:30 PM.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

Posted by CathyB

I'm so sorry, that was just rude. Maybe they were trying to motivate you to lose weight but that's not the way to go about it.

There is nothing wrong with you. Your friend or family member clearly lacks social grace.

And if it makes you feel any better, I'm well past fat cow stage, and am now a full blown whale.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

Posted by shamrock124

Why are you still around these people? They just sound like mean, hurtful individuals. It's nobody's business what you do with your body. I think you really need to say, "Your comments are hurting my feelings, please keep your opinions about me to yourself."

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

I am so sorry that someone is making you feel this way

It hits home closer than you know

I guess the question to you - is how do you feel? Do you feel comfortable with yourself? Honestly, I feel if this is bothering you this much (for you to create a fake name) it is bothering you.

I just don't know if it is more that you want to lost weight and are having a hard time and that there is someone out there that is hitting home with it...

Or... that this person has no regard for you and is consistently making these comments to you and you have had enough.

When this person makes these comments - what do you say back to them? or do you not say anything?
I think if you are saying I know, I know - or what have you - this might be this persons way of trying to 'help' you
Even if it is a crappy way of doing it
If you aren't saying anything, you might need to. And say these comments are hurting me and tell them why, maybe they will be able to support in a different way. Or if this person is trying to be rude - then you can tell them to take a hike

We are here for any support that you need

If you need a walking/workout buddy let me know. You can even use me as an online motivator if you want - I can use some (ok alot) of motivation over here too

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

I'm sorry this person was so rude and mean to you. There is nothing wrong with you. I would tell that person that you do not appreciate their remarks/ criticsm and not to speak to you that way again. You need to feel good about yourself. If you are not happy with your weight, you will do something about it when you are ready. It is harder for alot of people post-baby.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

I'd like to thank you all for the responses. You all made sense. I don't like the way I look and I do plan on doing something about it but to hear the comments on my weight does not motivate me to do anything. I have to start holding my head high and start inserting some sarcasm into the comments that people make, like "Yes I know i've gotten bigger, do you want to join weight watchers with me cuz you look like you could benefit from it"...

Do people think that we can just loose weight overnight. When I do plan on loosing weight these people will never know. And if I do loose weight and these same people comment on my loosing weight I'll be like "golly gee do I look normal now"...

But mostly I will be doing it for me and me only!

I know I gotta do this but I do it when I'm ready, not when other people want me to be ready.

Message edited 9/24/2008 11:26:10 AM.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

Thanks for the offers of a walking buddy but unfortunately I don't live in LI...

Not that I want to put it off but I was thinking of seriously doing something but if I start now then I will have the holidays get in the way and the yummy food getting in my way... I was thinking of maybe starting immediately after christmas or start fresh during the new year and make it my resolution.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

I think anyone who says that to someone else is a heartless b!tch...So sorry

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

You guys are getting me pumped up now...

I feel like going walking but my little one is sleeping right now...

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

Posted by feelingsad

Thanks for the offers of a walking buddy but unfortunately I don't live in LI...

Not that I want to put it off but I was thinking of seriously doing something but if I start now then I will have the holidays get in the way and the yummy food getting in my way... I was thinking of maybe starting immediately after christmas or start fresh during the new year and make it my resolution.

Re: I'm feeling a little down...

first of all, i'm so sorry that you're hearing comments like this from people who are supposedly friends (or even family?).

honestly, i would call this person out on it. i would tell him/her that the comments are cruel and how much they hurt your feelings. and then i would tell them to mind their own f***ing business - they should be ashamed of themselves for that kind of behavior