i just want to cry and cry.... UPDATED ON 7/15 AT END

So tonight was our 30 week visit....the girl who takes me in barely adjusts the scale to note my weight from the person before me (it didn't look right to me but still...who am I??)....then she says "wow 8 lbs in 2 wks...." (um, hello, I am preggers I feel big enough already!)..so the dr comes in does all the checks, and then asks about my diet b/c all of a sudden I have gained a total of 30 lbs. ...now I swear that I really have been eating really well...no cravings, etc and lots of veggies and fruits but everything in manigible portions....so she kind of "sure, sure"'s me which makes me feel even more "shirty". DH was there and knew how mortiifed I was....I made it to the car, (even made it through making my next appt!) before breaking down in sobs.....the dr did say maybe we are having a big baby but that can't be my fault......I asked if it could be my shoes (they were espcadrilles with cork and wood soles..not my bet choice but I didn't think...) and the dr acutally sais "you know, you can excercise still if you are pregnant" and not in such a nice way either.....

I came home, took off my shoes and then all of a sudden I had only gained 5 lbs - still more than I wish but not as bad....

dh was furious b/c he knows how sensitive I am to begin with about the whole weight gain thing.....he swears I don't even look that large yet but I know he's my dh...this was my first week wearing maternity clothes, too, to top it all off....and dh thinks they could have at least listened to me and tried to reweigh me for my own mindset.....he is also at his wits end and ready to get a new dr after a lesser prob once before in how we were informed about a potential problem with the baby that wound up being nothing thank goodness....

but I think we should just stay this late in.....we even did the childbirth and hospital tour already.....

thanks for listening.....I am going to cry again...

UPDATE:
STILL NO CALL BACK AFTER I LEFT BOTH HOME AND CELL NO.

update 2:
I put a new post up on it....and wanted to thank you all again!!!

Message edited 7/15/2006 9:59:06 AM.

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

I can't believe that they are giving you such a hard time.
Have you seen Michelle in that office? Maybe switch your appt to her and see if you like her better
I am sorry she is treating you like this

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Thanks marcie....do you go to michelle? lately we (dh and I) feel everytime we go we are rushed in and out...that she is always in a foul mood...which hey, its not an easy job so we are forgiving but its getting crazy....she barely knows me or if she did she would clearly know my biggest concern the whole pregnancy (vein as it may be...) is the wieght thing....if it was up to dh he would be back there already giving them a piece of his mind....I just wanted to get the heck out of there....

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

do not listen to the dr...at all...

here's a funny story for you re: my weight game. I didn't gain anything until like 22 weeks and then I gained FAST...I was gaining like 9 pounds a month or so. I will NEVER ever forget getting on the scale at around 32-33 weeks and having gained yet another 9 pounds and I heard a CHUCKLE, a CHUCKLE...

and it was DH. He thought it was quite funny, the nurse and I gave him the LOOK OF DEATH...let's just say it didn't go over well.

I gained 52 pounds in a little over 16 weeks, I lost it all plus 4 pounds 8-9 months..don't worry about anything but a healthy baby and making sure you are healthy, and 30 pounds sounds just fine.

Message edited 7/12/2006 8:08:39 PM.

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

I saw Michelle a couple of times, since I had to go in sooooo much at the end.
But part of the reason that I needed to see Michelle is because they have been short-handed for a while now.
I am not sure if you know Loriellen (she is the nurse practioner), she has been out on bedrest (she is pregnant as well). And 2 other people have been out.
Dr Brenner and I were discussing this not too long ago - they have been really stressed out due to this. Not that this is ANY excuse for them to treat you like this

Maybe speak to her over the phone and tell her how you have been treated lately and that once you get home that you have been really upset and that you know it isn't good for the baby - and tell her you don't know what to do about it.

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Do NOT let your doctor do that to you!! I gained 60 lbs with EACH of my babies. I was pushing 200lbs with Jeremy. One doctor said something to me about it, a male doctor. I mentioned something to a female doctor and she said "don't listen to him, he has no idea". Some people just gain weight. And you do NOT sound like you have gained too much for 30 weeks. Don't sweat it. Im sorry they made you feel bad.

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

I see what you mean by being able to relate! How can these people be so heartless about your feelings ESPECIALLY being well aware that you're more sensitive at this time than usual. Do NOT let it get you down. I've noticed that I'm always about 5 lbs more at the doctor's office because of my shoes and because I think their scale is a little off. At first I thought it was our home scale, but I started weighing myself on other scales and I noticed that I weighed the same (less) on all of those. Very strange. I'm not looking forward to my visit tomorrow, because I really don't want to get an attitude from anybody.

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

So sorry they treated you that way..

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Don't let him make you cry. YOU know how you've been eating and YOU know what you feel like. If you felt like you were gaining too much then you could be concerned, but I don't think first of all your doctor should be making comments like that and second of all telling you its too much when you know you've done everything right. Don't cry - its a happy time, and if there is no cause for a health concern, then its ok what you're gaining!!!!

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

thanks everyone...it made me cry reading all your posts - but in a good way! your support makes it so nice....especially for something so embarassing.....i am so glad to have you all here to support me through this and am sorry to have complained even..I know it could be worse on the whole scheme of things and all....but she just completely caught me off guard and was so rude and all that I was floored...

dh thought he was mis reading it since I didn't really react when she was talking to us - he didn't realize that I didn't react because it was taking all I could not to burst into tears in the office...I mean, I wanted some dignity....

I just had dinner, the same kind as usual with a big salad (which is also usual!)...I am hoping to keep everything the same for the next two weeks in terms of my eating habits so i can show her that I do the best I can - and then, well, if I gained more weight or anything again....i am just going to bnge on ice cream and everything else...I mean, if I am going to get a lecture, then heck, I should at least be eating like that!!!

thank you, thank you, thank you ladies from the bottom of my heart once again....

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

When I went for my 28 week visit she told me that I am gaing to much weight also. It equaled to me gaining a pound a week. I was really upset because I thought I had only gained 5 pounds that month but gained 9 and the month before was 7. While cooking I broke down hysterical crying because I couldnt eat sweets anymore because DH was on my case about how much I ate. Well the next day he came home with a box of donuts with a bow on it and said to eat what ever I want. I ended up gaining 45lbs and put the bulk of it at the end. Dont worry about, the dr.s go nutty because apparently it gets harder for someone to loose weight once hit the 35lb mark, thats what my dr. said anyway. You will loose so dont let it get you down.

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

I hate when Dr.'s make preg women feel bad about weight gain... I guess there comes a point where there is "too much" of a gain... but 30lbs def. ain't it honey!!!

I gained NOTHING until I was 20-24 weeks.... and in the end I ended up gaining about 50lbs...(so I gained 50lbs in less than 16 weeks)

My Dr. also reassured me that my weight gain was GREAT!!

I still have about 20 lbs on- and Im not happy with it... but even if it never comes off... it was well worth it!

Trust me- people are not gonna look at you as "fat"- you are having a baby!!!! Enjoy all the yummy things that were invented just for preg women!!!!

Somtimes I wish I was preg. again... so I could sit on the couch and eat a huge bowl of ice cream (ok-ok a carton ) and feel guilt free.... (I use to justify it by saying I was giving the baby calicum )

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

I ended up gaining 35-40lbs eating very healthy and staying active. Sometimes you cannot control the gain, water weight etc. I was very senstive about this as well and kept asking my Dr if my weight was ok.............he was like I see girls gain 60-70lbs honey....you are right on target. You have 10 weeks to go and will jump up even more. Possibly another 10 lbs or more. Just stay healthy and don't let it get to you. It will come off after you miracle arrives

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

I have to say first... no maternity clothes until recently? All I can say is WOW and that is wonderful!

Anyway, don't let the doctor get to you. I know it's hard. I have been gaining an average of 10 lbs. every month which has been hard for me to deal with, but I know from my son that, that is how my body deals with PG. It doesn't matter how I eat. I gained 65lbs with him and I was up to 199lbs. (Couldn't believe it!) and now with this one I'm already around 190lbs! I have 9 weeks to go! I know I'm going to go over that amount with this baby because he is measuring even bigger than my first. You on the other hand are eating normal, actually better than normal, so you're doing great!!!

I do have to say that when I gave birth to my son I lost 35 lbs. just from having him. That's how much the placenta, fluid, etc. weighed together. That's amazing to me. I can't wait to see how big this little guy is!

I also have noticed that when I see male doctors they give me a hard time about my diet, etc. and I just yes them to death and hope to see my regular doctor on the next visit. My doctor luckily doesn't think that a woman has that much control on how much weight she gains. She believes it's just how your body is built and handles PG. Thankfully I get to see her on the 19th and not the male doctor. They're all so caught up in the weight/diet issue. Get over it buddy!!!

You're doing absolutely wonderful with your PG. Don't let anyone tell you differently! Here are some

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Which one was it that said that to you? They better not do that to me! My DH wouldn't have any restraint I gained over 50lbs with Damien, but am doing much better with this time, it is really because of the diabetes and I have to watch everything. I am scared when I step on the scale that it will be a big jump and to have someone make you feel bad about it I would say something to Dr Brenner next time about how much it upset you.

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

I'm so sorry the Dr. made you feel so shittty. I get down on myself about weight gain so I can totally relate. It's tough enough to have your own insecurities, but when people make comments it makes you want to just crawl in a hole. Just keep remembering that you're growing another human being in there. You're doing the best you can and the baby is healthy- that's the most important thing.

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

This post really made me

Its so unecessary to make you feel that way. I truly think that unless someone goes overboard with eating everything we gain is pre-determined. Many moms have said that with their second baby they really tried to work out and go to the gym and they still gained the same amount.

I'm so sorry they made you feel that way, thank god for your understanding DH

My most sincere

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Well, I totally feel your pain. Last night I had an appointment and when I was told I had gained 12 pounds in the last 5 weeks I almost died!!! Then I cried like the emotional wreck that I am- and the Dr. came in and said "WOW Angie- time to lay off the pasta!" I was embarassed, mortified and left feeling like a cow!

I feel awful and have been trying not to eat much of anything since I went to my appointment. I wish it was possible for me to NOT let a comment like that get to me!

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

so I called her today and left a msg asking to have her call tonight (yup - the dr is a woman!!!!!) so we'll see...I talked to a few friends too who gained more than expected and they couldn't believe she had such nerve (esp since they know me....) I get most upset b/c like most people I did semi struggle with eating disorders allthrough college. My dh loves me for me and doesn't care about how I look....although he says I look great...maybe one day I will post a pic on here!

the worst part is that all day everytime I went to put somehting by my mouth I relived last night..... ...and totally rethought it...meanwhile I work outside all day long at my camp.....now dh just asked on the phone what i wanted for dinner....I can't think of anything b/c I am freakin paranoid.....

Re: i just want to cry and cry....

Posted by Stacey1403



Which one was it that said that to you? They better not do that to me! My DH wouldn't have any restraint I gained over 50lbs with Damien, but am doing much better with this time, it is really because of the diabetes and I have to watch everything. I am scared when I step on the scale that it will be a big jump and to have someone make you feel bad about it I would say something to Dr Brenner next time about how much it upset you.