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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by MarisaK
Was it wrong based on 2015 standards? Yes, absolutely.
BUT, your mother is a 70 year old Grandmother. Her thought process for those types of things is completely different and to call her stupid because of it is absurd.
You need to explain to her why she can't do something like that, and why things that were perfectly normal to do when she was raising her family could get you thrown in jail today - I'm SURE if she thought about any of the reasons that WE all think of re: why she shouldn't leave your 3 year old in the car, she wouldn't have done it.
And did I read correctly that your 70+ year old parents take care of FOUR very young kids? That is a LOT of work for them, and a HUGE help for you and your sister.
I get that they are your kids, and it should be your rules - but tread lightly on this one, like - VERY lightly
Agreed.
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Posted 8/14/15 1:08 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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DaniJude
You're My Home <3
Member since 11/06 14815 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
I'm so sorry but that is awful. Wrong. Unlawful too, actually.
Anyway, my boyfriend is a cop and just last week had a woman who ran into 7/11 to use the ATM and someone stole her car in broad daylight in those ten seconds she ran into the store. There was not a child inside but it happens all the time that there is -- the perps don't even check, just hop in the car and steal it.
ETA - I wouldn't say she is stupid. But I would say it was a stupid decision. A decision that could have serious consequences. My mother is 65 and grew up in a different time also... However, she lives in present day and is aware that things have changed. So, to me, that argument doesn't stand. No reason to get all upset with each other and for you or her to take it personal... This is a teachable moment and a "let's just make sure we don't do this again" type of thing. You're family. No hard feelings. Live and learn and move on. Be glad nothing happened and when you know better - you do better!
Message edited 8/14/2015 1:27:33 PM.
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| Posted 8/14/15 1:19 PM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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I do not feel this is safe... child in car
That is completely unsafe and I would make sure my mother understood.
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| Posted 8/14/15 1:21 PM |
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by Hopefulmama
Totally unsafe but honestly my mom is 70 and I know there is no way she can physically manage my young children. If I just woke up my three year old, he would not necessarily be compliant and happily agree to walk. Not at all justifying what she did, but there are limits to what a 70 year old can physically manage. However, she has to know that times have changed and you just cannot do that anymore - in this climate you can be arrested!
Not sure how weak your mom is physically but my mom is the same age and can easily carry a child and would do so if she had to.
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| Posted 8/14/15 1:22 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Not to mention anyone could break a window and steal the car. Locked or not locked.
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| Posted 8/14/15 1:24 PM |
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
I will answer the same as I did in your other post.
I think she was wrong.
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| Posted 8/14/15 1:25 PM |
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SPERM1NATED
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/14 638 total posts
Name:
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Just to offer another perspective on this. At 3 years old, your daughter could have unlocked herself while your mom was gone and jumped into the driver seat and put the car in drive.
I know this seems far fetched, but this exact situation happened to one of my aunts about 15 years ago. She ran into her house because she forgot something and left my cousin in the car. She thought her daughter was sleeping but we speculated that the door closing woke her, she freaked being in the car alone and let herself out of her carseat, somehow she climbed into the front seat just as my aunt was coming out of the house. If she had put the car into drive or reverse, it could have been VERY bad.
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| Posted 8/14/15 1:27 PM |
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by MarisaK
Was it wrong based on 2015 standards? Yes, absolutely.
BUT, your mother is a 70 year old Grandmother. Her thought process for those types of things is completely different and to call her stupid because of it is absurd.
You need to explain to her why she can't do something like that, and why things that were perfectly normal to do when she was raising her family could get you thrown in jail today - I'm SURE if she thought about any of the reasons that WE all think of re: why she shouldn't leave your 3 year old in the car, she wouldn't have done it.
And did I read correctly that your 70+ year old parents take care of FOUR very young kids? That is a LOT of work for them, and a HUGE help for you and your sister.
I get that they are your kids, and it should be your rules - but tread lightly on this one, like - VERY lightly
My mom is 70 and knows 2015 standards. If you choose to babysit young children, you should be up with the times and what goes on in the world. Age is no excuse.
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| Posted 8/14/15 1:28 PM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by MarisaK
Was it wrong based on 2015 standards? Yes, absolutely.
BUT, your mother is a 70 year old Grandmother. Her thought process for those types of things is completely different and to call her stupid because of it is absurd.
You need to explain to her why she can't do something like that, and why things that were perfectly normal to do when she was raising her family could get you thrown in jail today - I'm SURE if she thought about any of the reasons that WE all think of re: why she shouldn't leave your 3 year old in the car, she wouldn't have done it.
And did I read correctly that your 70+ year old parents take care of FOUR very young kids? That is a LOT of work for them, and a HUGE help for you and your sister.
I get that they are your kids, and it should be your rules - but tread lightly on this one, like - VERY lightly
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| Posted 8/14/15 1:28 PM |
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myminions
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/14 454 total posts
Name:
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by Poppyseed79
Posted by MarisaK
Was it wrong based on 2015 standards? Yes, absolutely.
BUT, your mother is a 70 year old Grandmother. Her thought process for those types of things is completely different and to call her stupid because of it is absurd.
You need to explain to her why she can't do something like that, and why things that were perfectly normal to do when she was raising her family could get you thrown in jail today - I'm SURE if she thought about any of the reasons that WE all think of re: why she shouldn't leave your 3 year old in the car, she wouldn't have done it.
And did I read correctly that your 70+ year old parents take care of FOUR very young kids? That is a LOT of work for them, and a HUGE help for you and your sister.
I get that they are your kids, and it should be your rules - but tread lightly on this one, like - VERY lightly
I am against it ...YOU MISREAD the post ...no she is not stupid but she will tell me that what she did was not wrong ...why? She will say "Well I locked the door and left on the AC....that is what I mean by dealing with stupidity ...she can't see even after I explain to her in "today's world."
NO....they want all the grandkids over their house once a month because it makes them feel good. I do not like the idea because of their age. My sister who is the RN had my parents do it which is why she will not disagree with them on anything. They do it when they want ...they have not offered to let my DH and I go out to dinner for a few hours by watching them for 2-3 hours ...this going back a few years ago. She only wants to see them 1-2 x a month.
Message edited 8/14/2015 7:07:43 PM.
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| Posted 8/14/15 1:30 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
I would never do this. However, I know when I was a kid, a lot of moms did this. They never thought twice. I think times have changed. I'd just discuss this with your mom and explain how you'd like her to handle this in the future.
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| Posted 8/14/15 2:03 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
I would flip! Like legit flip.
me too. I would lose my mind if I found out my mother ever did this. Which is part of the reason I will never let her drive my kids anywhere.
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| Posted 8/14/15 2:14 PM |
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iluvmynutty
Mom to E&M
Member since 12/08 1762 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
My mom is going to be 70 in 2 weeks. If she did that with one of my kids, that would be the LAST time she ever drove them anywhere---possibly the last time she watched them alone. Your mom's judgment is not good....
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| Posted 8/14/15 4:13 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Absolutely wrong and dangerous. No offense but this is why I feel partly that too many older grandparents are given the responsibility to watch their grandchildren, but aren't physically or mentally able enough to do a safe job. JMO.
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| Posted 8/14/15 4:57 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by myminions
This is what I am dealing with ...stupidity .... this weekend is the last weekend that her and my father are taking care of my two kids and my sister's kids at their house ... mind you my kids are 5.5, 3 and my sister's kids are 5 and 1.5 ....
She gets insulted... picks fights... then refuses to help you out with anything. What cracks me up is that my sister who is a nurse at Cohen's Children's Medical Center will agree with her just to kiss her a**.
I do not look forward to having to take the car key away from her one day when she is too old to drive.
Your parents are too old to care for 4 young children, even if once a month. Even a young parent would be in over their head with 4 kids under 5. IMO that is really pushing the safety limits for an older person and for the young children. And I know about our parents who are 70…I would NEVER trust them in the car with my child. 70 is fairly old in my book.
Message edited 8/14/2015 5:05:20 PM.
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| Posted 8/14/15 5:02 PM |
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Hopefulmama
LIF Adult
Member since 4/14 1014 total posts
Name:
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hopefulmama
Totally unsafe but honestly my mom is 70 and I know there is no way she can physically manage my young children. If I just woke up my three year old, he would not necessarily be compliant and happily agree to walk. Not at all justifying what she did, but there are limits to what a 70 year old can physically manage. However, she has to know that times have changed and you just cannot do that anymore - in this climate you can be arrested!
Not sure how weak your mom is physically but my mom is the same age and can easily carry a child and would do so if she had to.
My mom had a knee replacement years ago. And FWIW I am a very physically fit 35 year old and I struggle carrying my 35 lb 3 yo sometimes. OP has every right to replace her mother with a better suited caretaker. I would not leave my kids with an elderly care taker for these exact reasons. Not physically fit, and resistant to modern thinking on these matters.
Message edited 8/14/2015 5:08:48 PM.
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| Posted 8/14/15 5:02 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by myminions
She will say "Well I locked the door and left on the AC....that is what I mean by dealing with stupidity ...she can't see even after I explain to her in "today's world."
This isn't just today's world. The child could easily unlock the door and run into the parking lot and get run over. That would be in any world. So apparently she has poor judgement and is cutting corners likely b/c it's too much work for her.
Message edited 8/14/2015 5:04:40 PM.
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| Posted 8/14/15 5:04 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Just curious, how did she keep the car running and lock the car at the same time? Wouldn't she need the key to unlock the car?
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| Posted 8/14/15 5:45 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by IVFmiracle
Just curious, how did she keep the car running and lock the car at the same time? Wouldn't she need the key to unlock the car?
You can manually lock it from the door and then close the door. OR it could be a push start car and you can take the remote with you
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| Posted 8/14/15 8:47 PM |
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BsMomma2014
Fly high little one
Member since 6/10 2662 total posts
Name:
nicole
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I do not feel this is safe... child in car
I would flip out and probably never let her watch my kids again
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| Posted 8/14/15 9:14 PM |
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
I would never leave my child out of my sight ever. IMO she was wrong. It's not worth the risk
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| Posted 8/15/15 8:08 AM |
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Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by NervousNell
If you had said she just walked to the front door to meet your son, and never lost site of the car for a second I'd say- ehhhh, MAYBE.
I wouldn't do it, but MAYBE.
But not where she had to go inside and walk down a hallway.
No way.
FUNNY bc that was what I was thining. Maybe it was park in front of the door and grab your son and thats it...able to keep eye on car the whole time....NOT GOING INSIDE!!!!
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| Posted 8/15/15 9:10 AM |
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Golden19
LIF Zygote
Member since 7/15 45 total posts
Name:
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by Poppyseed79
Posted by MarisaK
Was it wrong based on 2015 standards? Yes, absolutely.
BUT, your mother is a 70 year old Grandmother. Her thought process for those types of things is completely different and to call her stupid because of it is absurd.
You need to explain to her why she can't do something like that, and why things that were perfectly normal to do when she was raising her family could get you thrown in jail today - I'm SURE if she thought about any of the reasons that WE all think of re: why she shouldn't leave your 3 year old in the car, she wouldn't have done it.
And did I read correctly that your 70+ year old parents take care of FOUR very young kids? That is a LOT of work for them, and a HUGE help for you and your sister.
I get that they are your kids, and it should be your rules - but tread lightly on this one, like - VERY lightly
I agree with this. My mom left me & my brother in the car all the time and she is only 57. It's just the way it was.
You can't do this type of thing today, and I only say that because someone will rat you out. If I want to run into Dunkin for 1 minute to grab a coffee, no one should be concerned about my kid, but unfortunately you have parents who will leave their kids for 20 min in a hot car, and that is why it is not accepted.
Different world today, so cut her a little slack she is old school, but definitely tell her this is to NEVER happen again.
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| Posted 8/15/15 9:12 AM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
I don't really get the "old school" factor. My parents are in their 70s, very physically fit they can run with my 3 year old etc. But regardless, if they are watching my child, they are overly cautious, more so than when they were caring for me because he is not their son. If I am watching one of my son's friends, I cut zero corners that I may cut when it's just me and my son because it is not my kid and I feel the responsibility to be super cautious. I would hope anyone watching my kid would feel overly cautious. My mom was a helicopter parent, more so than me, anyway lol.
To add, my mil is not as physically fit and while I love when she watches our son in our house, I don't feel comfortable about her taking him to places, she would not be able to keep up with him if necessary.
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| Posted 8/15/15 9:54 AM |
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Re: I do not feel this is safe... child in car
Posted by MrsH2009
I don't really get the "old school" factor. My parents are in their 70s, very physically fit they can run with my 3 year old etc. But regardless, if they are watching my child, they are overly cautious, more so than when they were caring for me because he is not their son. If I am watching one of my son's friends, I cut zero corners that I may cut when it's just me and my son because it is not my kid and I feel the responsibility to be super cautious. I would hope anyone watching my kid would feel overly cautious. My mom was a helicopter parent, more so than me, anyway lol.
To add, my mil is not as physically fit and while I love when she watches our son in our house, I don't feel comfortable about her taking him to places, she would not be able to keep up with him if necessary.
ITA with this. My mother at 70 can keep up with someone much younger than her. Age is nothing. I would suggest maybe having her take an exercise class for seniors to build herself up if she is taking care of young children.
I also don't get the idea that things never happened years ago. My dh was in a car probably about 35-40 years ago alone with a few other kids while one of the mother's left them to go do something in a store. A man got in the car and molested the girl. In daylight, in a parking lot. It DID happen then. We just have more media right at the very second things happen so it seems more happens now. It doesn't.
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| Posted 8/15/15 10:01 AM |
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