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I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
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cheryl28
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 4657 total posts
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I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
I know, I know welcome to 3's. DD will be 3 in May. but they have not stopped since 1. Everything lately is a meltdown. A major throw myself on the floor, bang my head, slam doors, whatever I can to make it worse. People in my building must think she's abused. I can't believe noone has called the cops.
I am just realizing that one of my neighbors blasts his music every time she throws a fit. I feel awful.
I cannot get them to stop. Since the weekend it's been extremely bad. Nothing works, timeouts, threaten, taking stuff away, ignoring them.
What am I going to do? She's fine in school.
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Posted 2/12/13 1:40 PM  |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
Have you tried observing what causes these tantrums? Have you tried giving her more attention? Sometimes the answer is right there in front of us and we don't take the time to actually look at it. Take a step back, observe her, try picking your battles and see what happens. Good luck, its really not easy dealing with three year olds and tantrums.
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| Posted 2/12/13 2:00 PM |
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cheryl28
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 4657 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
Yes it was in the car after school. Before we left I asked if she needed to use the potty she said no. As soon as I pulled away she wanted to go potty in school. It was a major meltdown the whole way home and into nap time. She just couldn't stop.
The other day it was b/c she didn't want to hold my hand while crossing the street.
Once she starts she just can't stop no matter what. I will sit with her and hug her, and pay attention to her and it sometimes still doesn't stop. I have done timeouts, included her in everything, told her step by step what's going to happen. Etc...
It just ruins our whole day sometimes.
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| Posted 2/12/13 2:06 PM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
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| Posted 2/12/13 9:46 PM |
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oneday
<3
Member since 5/05 4319 total posts
Name:
Pam
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
I feel like DS has been in the "terrible two" tantrum stage since he turned about one. We thought maybe that meant we'd get through it earlier- suckers!!! . It sometimes comes and goes in waves, but when it's been the worst, I was really beginning to wonder if he had an anger management problem.
Time outs used to work sometimes. But, that was when he would stay. Now he won't. So sometimes he just needs to go to his room and I'll just tell him I can't hear him when he's screaming. Sometimes works-sometimes makes it worse.
I think right now the thing that seems to help the most is to tell him we're taking away his favorites toys (at the moment this is his favorite Cars cars- Chick Hicks, Lighting and the King.) We'll take one or more away and give it back maybe the next day or the next time he does a really good job listening or behaving. It doesn't always stop him, but often it gets him to start crying "I want to behave" and after after a while he at least calms down.
It's so frustrating! I feel your pain!! GL
Eta- sorry, just saw you said taking stuff away doesn't work. It didn't used to work for us either, and like I said, still doesn't always, but, hopefully you can find something that will work. And, not that this is very useful, but, everyone tells me "it's a phase." I guess that means we should have hope!?   
Message edited 2/12/2013 10:14:53 PM.
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| Posted 2/12/13 10:09 PM |
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cheryl28
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 4657 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
Thank you. Sometimes the taking away of stuff works but like everything else not all the time.
Today seems like a better day. Yesterday morning was tough but after nap was better and today seems better.
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| Posted 2/13/13 9:33 AM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
I feel your pain. DD started early too with awful tantrums around 16-18 mos. shes 2, and sometimes it's so horrific, I just asked my neighbor yesterday if he can hear her from outside?
The only thing I can sometimes relate it to, is when she's exhausted. Time outs rarely work, taking toys away doesn't work. She just wants things HER WAY!!!! It doesn't seem like she's frustrated about expressing herself, because she is very vocal and talks tremendously. She was so bad on Saturday, that we had to leave the birthday party we were at, after an hour. She was throwing stuff, crying, biting, making scene after scene. she refused to nap that day and we paid for it, lol. That same evening she refused dinner, I bathed her and she went to bed at 6:15pm and slept till 8 am the next morning, and woke up sweet as pie and we had a great day.
So, maybe what I'm getting at is, is she napping or sleeping enough at night?
Message edited 2/13/2013 10:35:53 AM.
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| Posted 2/13/13 10:34 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
Posted by mrsboss
I feel your pain. DD started early too with awful tantrums around 16-18 mos. shes 2, and sometimes it's so horrific, I just asked my neighbor yesterday if he can hear her from outside?
The only thing I can sometimes relate it to, is when she's exhausted. Time outs rarely work, taking toys away doesn't work. She just wants things HER WAY!!!! It doesn't seem like she's frustrated about expressing herself, because she is very vocal and talks tremendously. She was so bad on Saturday, that we had to leave the birthday party we were at, after an hour. She was throwing stuff, crying, biting, making scene after scene. she refused to nap that day and we paid for it, lol. That same evening she refused dinner, I bathed her and she went to bed at 6:15pm and slept till 8 am the next morning, and woke up sweet as pie and we had a great day.
So, maybe what I'm getting at is, is she napping or sleeping enough at night?
I find this too. When she is tired- forget it
And the same as quoted- nothing works.
Time outs, threats, taking things away..she wants HER WAY
It is so awful that I find myself getting sick lately
Stomach issues, mirgraines, heartburn, - all things that for me are triggered by stress.
I am not enjoying this age, I am not enjoying being home with her.
I find I have a short fuse lately
It's just that I can't take listening to the CONSTANT screaming, the constant whining, the constant crying
Nothing is easy or fun
Nothing
So I feel your pain and to be honest, I am glad I am not alone on this
I was considering child psychologists because it has gotten that bad!
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| Posted 2/13/13 10:43 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
The tantrums have recently started to get worse for us - I would say over the last 3 months.
He would do time outs but over the last couple of weeks has been moving from where we put him, so I can see that those are going to stop working in another week or so.
We try and ignore him for a few minutes so the screaming and yelling calm down a bit. But my son is relentless, he will go an hour and a half of non stop whining and screaming until he gets his way. At that point my nerves are shot and I give in.
I'm not sure how to handle him anymore. If he wouldn't go on and on for that long I could tolerate it. However, because he does and can - we break down.
I'm not sure what to do.
I try to calm him down by letting him know that if he stops crying and talks he can have such and such toy or a treat. The more we talk to him when he is in these moods the worse the screaming gets.
I feel tons of guilt because when he gets in these moods - which seem to be over everything lately, the more I yell at him (its the amount of time he will go that gets under my skin).
I don't want to cave because of the guilt, but I don't want to raise a brat either. I really need to nip this in the bud ASAP!
Message edited 2/13/2013 10:53:34 AM.
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| Posted 2/13/13 10:49 AM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsboss
I feel your pain. DD started early too with awful tantrums around 16-18 mos. shes 2, and sometimes it's so horrific, I just asked my neighbor yesterday if he can hear her from outside?
The only thing I can sometimes relate it to, is when she's exhausted. Time outs rarely work, taking toys away doesn't work. She just wants things HER WAY!!!! It doesn't seem like she's frustrated about expressing herself, because she is very vocal and talks tremendously. She was so bad on Saturday, that we had to leave the birthday party we were at, after an hour. She was throwing stuff, crying, biting, making scene after scene. she refused to nap that day and we paid for it, lol. That same evening she refused dinner, I bathed her and she went to bed at 6:15pm and slept till 8 am the next morning, and woke up sweet as pie and we had a great day.
So, maybe what I'm getting at is, is she napping or sleeping enough at night?
I find this too. When she is tired- forget it
And the same as quoted- nothing works.
Time outs, threats, taking things away..she wants HER WAY
It is so awful that I find myself getting sick lately
Stomach issues, mirgraines, heartburn, - all things that for me are triggered by stress.
I am not enjoying this age, I am not enjoying being home with her.
I find I have a short fuse lately
It's just that I can't take listening to the CONSTANT screaming, the constant whining, the constant crying
Nothing is easy or fun
Nothing
So I feel your pain and to be honest, I am glad I am not alone on this
I was considering child psychologists because it has gotten that bad!
Word for word exactly what you said. It's become unenjoyable and I actually can't wait to go to work. How sad! Yet, she's a dream at daycare, I can't understand it. All I know, is that she is amazing birth control.
Message edited 2/13/2013 10:55:19 AM.
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| Posted 2/13/13 10:53 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
Posted by mrsboss
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsboss
I feel your pain. DD started early too with awful tantrums around 16-18 mos. shes 2, and sometimes it's so horrific, I just asked my neighbor yesterday if he can hear her from outside?
The only thing I can sometimes relate it to, is when she's exhausted. Time outs rarely work, taking toys away doesn't work. She just wants things HER WAY!!!! It doesn't seem like she's frustrated about expressing herself, because she is very vocal and talks tremendously. She was so bad on Saturday, that we had to leave the birthday party we were at, after an hour. She was throwing stuff, crying, biting, making scene after scene. she refused to nap that day and we paid for it, lol. That same evening she refused dinner, I bathed her and she went to bed at 6:15pm and slept till 8 am the next morning, and woke up sweet as pie and we had a great day.
So, maybe what I'm getting at is, is she napping or sleeping enough at night?
I find this too. When she is tired- forget it
And the same as quoted- nothing works.
Time outs, threats, taking things away..she wants HER WAY
It is so awful that I find myself getting sick lately
Stomach issues, mirgraines, heartburn, - all things that for me are triggered by stress.
I am not enjoying this age, I am not enjoying being home with her.
I find I have a short fuse lately
It's just that I can't take listening to the CONSTANT screaming, the constant whining, the constant crying
Nothing is easy or fun
Nothing
So I feel your pain and to be honest, I am glad I am not alone on this
I was considering child psychologists because it has gotten that bad!
Word for word exactly what you said. It's become unenjoyable and I actually can't wait to go to work. How sad! Yet, she's a dream at daycare, I can't understand it. All I know, is that she is amazing birth control.
OMG I say that ALLLLL the time.
I say- "you are assuring your spot as an only child. Totally assuring that!"
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| Posted 2/13/13 11:44 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsboss
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsboss
I feel your pain. DD started early too with awful tantrums around 16-18 mos. shes 2, and sometimes it's so horrific, I just asked my neighbor yesterday if he can hear her from outside?
The only thing I can sometimes relate it to, is when she's exhausted. Time outs rarely work, taking toys away doesn't work. She just wants things HER WAY!!!! It doesn't seem like she's frustrated about expressing herself, because she is very vocal and talks tremendously. She was so bad on Saturday, that we had to leave the birthday party we were at, after an hour. She was throwing stuff, crying, biting, making scene after scene. she refused to nap that day and we paid for it, lol. That same evening she refused dinner, I bathed her and she went to bed at 6:15pm and slept till 8 am the next morning, and woke up sweet as pie and we had a great day.
So, maybe what I'm getting at is, is she napping or sleeping enough at night?
I find this too. When she is tired- forget it
And the same as quoted- nothing works.
Time outs, threats, taking things away..she wants HER WAY
It is so awful that I find myself getting sick lately
Stomach issues, mirgraines, heartburn, - all things that for me are triggered by stress.
I am not enjoying this age, I am not enjoying being home with her.
I find I have a short fuse lately
It's just that I can't take listening to the CONSTANT screaming, the constant whining, the constant crying
Nothing is easy or fun
Nothing
So I feel your pain and to be honest, I am glad I am not alone on this
I was considering child psychologists because it has gotten that bad!
Word for word exactly what you said. It's become unenjoyable and I actually can't wait to go to work. How sad! Yet, she's a dream at daycare, I can't understand it. All I know, is that she is amazing birth control.
OMG I say that ALLLLL the time.
I say- "you are assuring your spot as an only child. Totally assuring that!"
Yep all this (minus the saying it to her part) LOL
For us it was choices, choices. I had to rethink everything. Nothing 'nromal' was ever left to chance. I posted about a meltdown for bed (tired) but it was so odd. She basically just wanted to cry.
So I started to force myself to give her choices with EVERYTHING no matter how small. You want to walk across the street holding my hand or upside down? Of course she'd choose upside down then demand to hold my hand or ride my back. We just moved with it.
I don’t know how to explain it. There’s a difference between her being unruly and her being ‘lost’ as I call it. When she’s lost she can’t explain or even understand herself why she’s upset, but she is. And its infuriating to not know why and that makes her even MORE mad. I can’t discipline her for that. I can’t punish her for not knowing herself. If she screams at me she’s sent to her room but if she’s just being fussy I try to find out why. I talk to her even as she yells at me. I even ask her. Do you want to go cry for a bit? She’d say yes. Do you want to go to your room and cry or do you want to sit here. She’d choose and if she said sit here, she’d tell me to go. So I left her be. I’d say “just let me know when you’re done” she’d fume and then I’d hear “Mama, I’m done”. It was surreal. Around 3 she just NEEDED to explode. Needed to scream, needed to be heard and heard again. She didn’t know why. I couldn’t help her, she couldn’t help herself. I just focused on keeping her safe and reinforcing the no hit, no hurting rules.
For us, we were lucky. It passed fairly quickly (hind sight is always nicer after its over).
Time outs were still used when she was being a brat. There *IS* a difference. One was crazy and one was purposeful. Like she was testing us how far she could get away with being a brat and use crazy as an excuse. I NEVER let her get away with it. Around then is when she started to give US time outs!! Which was her way of saying she wanted alone time with one of us or by herself. Once she just got up in the middle of the day and walked off to her room. I followed and after I opened her door she yelled at me “I want to cry, go away” well alrighty then. I later asked her why and she said ‘because I needed to’. Which of course I encouraged.
Man, I’m in trouble when she’s a teen!
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| Posted 2/13/13 12:26 PM |
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cheryl28
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 4657 total posts
Name:
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsboss
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mrsboss
I feel your pain. DD started early too with awful tantrums around 16-18 mos. shes 2, and sometimes it's so horrific, I just asked my neighbor yesterday if he can hear her from outside?
The only thing I can sometimes relate it to, is when she's exhausted. Time outs rarely work, taking toys away doesn't work. She just wants things HER WAY!!!! It doesn't seem like she's frustrated about expressing herself, because she is very vocal and talks tremendously. She was so bad on Saturday, that we had to leave the birthday party we were at, after an hour. She was throwing stuff, crying, biting, making scene after scene. she refused to nap that day and we paid for it, lol. That same evening she refused dinner, I bathed her and she went to bed at 6:15pm and slept till 8 am the next morning, and woke up sweet as pie and we had a great day.
So, maybe what I'm getting at is, is she napping or sleeping enough at night?
I find this too. When she is tired- forget it
And the same as quoted- nothing works.
Time outs, threats, taking things away..she wants HER WAY
It is so awful that I find myself getting sick lately
Stomach issues, mirgraines, heartburn, - all things that for me are triggered by stress.
I am not enjoying this age, I am not enjoying being home with her.
I find I have a short fuse lately
It's just that I can't take listening to the CONSTANT screaming, the constant whining, the constant crying
Nothing is easy or fun
Nothing
So I feel your pain and to be honest, I am glad I am not alone on this
I was considering child psychologists because it has gotten that bad!
Word for word exactly what you said. It's become unenjoyable and I actually can't wait to go to work. How sad! Yet, she's a dream at daycare, I can't understand it. All I know, is that she is amazing birth control.
OMG I say that ALLLLL the time.
I say- "you are assuring your spot as an only child. Totally assuring that!"
haha Thanks you guys made me feel better (in a bad way haha) b/c I am not alone even when I feel like I am.
She has been having a hard time sleeping through the night and fighting naps but I make her take one at least 1 hr b/c I need a break. I am at home with her, so I can't leave but we did start school. 3weeks ago, 2 days a week for 4 hours so I finally get some peace and quiet and she is fine there.
I hate this age, even when I worked in daycare, the toddler room was my least favorite.
And to top it off I am preg with #2 due next month  she was being good when we decided to have #2 hahaha. Now I am like WTF were we thinking
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| Posted 2/13/13 1:06 PM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
I know the feeling. My oldest whos just shy of 3.5 was the worst from about 2 until about a month ago. I refused to take him to the stores with me bc everything was a battle. We started with giving him a choice & it helped. Of course there are days that's doesn't work & we resort to locking the gate upstairs with him behind it. I tell him once he wants to behave & speak normal, he can come down. It takes time but he will calm down.
The newest & latest is the high pitched squeal he now does.
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| Posted 2/13/13 1:56 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
I also have to add- everyone told me- give her a choice.
Yeah righttt!
My girl is too strong willed for that.
If the choice i give her doesn't include what SHE wants- tantrum!
EPIC tantrum.
The rules they wrote for toddlers do NOT apply to her!
I would LOVE to see Supernanny take a crack at her.
I think Supernanny would leave in tears!
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| Posted 2/13/13 2:26 PM |
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cheryl28
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 4657 total posts
Name:
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I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
I agree. Dd is so strong willed too. If I give her choices she goes nuts and still wants what she can't have. Ex: breakfast: waffles or pancakes? She says pretzels b/c daddy left the bag in the counter and she sees then. Bam tantrum for 30 mins. Even if I say fora snack after breakfast.
I think it's a girl thing. What are we in for the rest of our lives if they are like this now? Hahaha
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| Posted 2/13/13 3:06 PM |
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dn413
LIF Infant
Member since 1/12 91 total posts
Name:
debbie
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
What about a sticker chart? You can find pictures online of things you want to work on and make a chart. You can start out with 2 or 3 pictures. If she gets her stickers for the day however many you feel she needs to earn she can have a special treat at the end of the day. I do this for my DS and it works great. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs out there. Just when you think you have it down they change.
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| Posted 2/13/13 3:20 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: I cannot take this tantrums anymore....
My dd just started with the tantrums a few months back. I know a lot of it has to do with her being over tired. When e doesn't nap she becomes a different child. She has brought me to tears recently. I have lots of experience with toddlers but when it's your own dc and in your home it's much harder! When I worked in daycare moms would tell me how horrible their kids acted at home and I always thought they were over reacting. Now I see how different it is. I just started reading happiest toddler on the block and started using some of the techniques. They seem to be helping.
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| Posted 2/13/13 3:42 PM |
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