How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

Just wanted to get an idea... my DH takes me to all the doctor appointments (only 'cus I can't drive his stickshift car) but otherwise he doesn't seem to care much about the pregnancy.

He's willing to clean out the office to make room for the nursery furniture but won't even watch newborn/birthing videos with me! :P

Is this typical of men? Wondering how involved everyone else's DH is?

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

DH has been to all but one of the dr's appts, but other than that he hasn't been too involved. I have to see he's been a little more emotional since our Level II this past week. After seeing the baby yawning, and moving, he now suddenly realizes its a "real baby" in there I guess better late than never!

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

DH has always come to my appointments and shared an interest in that.

The first few months of my pregnancy were rough and I was really sick and while it was hard on me it was also hard on him and I felt like He didn't really care........ It wasn't that but that he didn't know how to help me and felt bad.

Now at 22 weeks PG I've noticed even more interest. He is constantly reseacrching stuff for the baby and is more concerned with how I am feeling and that I don't over do it.

I think men have a hard time dealing with the overwhelming emotion of becoming a parent when all the focus of a pregnancy is put on the woman. In many ways they feel excluded and isolated and their reaction is to become more isolated.

Just like every pregnancy and every woman is different a mans reaction to pregnancy is also different. Sometimes we need to remember that they need a little extra attention as well!

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

DH is very involved. He used to go to the doctor's with me (doesn't now because he works nights). He was all about our registry and because of him (and not too much nagging from me) our nursery is almost done!!!

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

DH fluctuated between distant and overly-involved during the first few months. I really think he was afraid and didn't know how to deal. It is also very surreal to them b/c the baby is not growing inside of them and until they see REAL evidence--in my case it was my growing belly--I think some of them remain aloof.

I finally got my DH to agree to paint the nursery this weekend (the agreement part, not the actual painting part. ) I think he was holding onto the old room for as long as possible...

ETA: he comes with me to all of my sonos and dr. appointments and all of the times I had to go to L&D. He even secretly called my dr. once because he was worried about my stress.

Message edited 10/13/2008 11:44:51 AM.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

i have my dh go to the appts when i have a sonogram.

we live in nj and the midwife practice and hospital i will deliver in is near my job in NYC. I schedule the appts. during my lunch break.
i don't see the point in him paying an $8 toll just to see the midwife take my blood pressure and weigh me.
i have him come to the big appts.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

He loves me being pregnant. He rubs my belly, he talks to the babies, he tells me how excited he is to be a dad.
He was coming to every appointment, but now that they are getting closer together and I can't get them all in the evening, he can't go to them all. He will come to every one he can though. We registered together, talk about things together before making any decisons. He is very involved, it makes me fall even more in love with him every day.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

This pregnancy...not much.
First pregnancy...a lot.

Oh well...

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

DH is more involved than I ever thought he would be....he is very protective but in a caring and sweet way. I am loving everyday

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

More than me -

He has read about 7 books already, begun to research strollers, carseats. etc. LIVES for the sonograms ........He's been really good about all of it -

I tend to not 'make a big deal' out of things, and he is MUCH more excitable than I am .......

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

I would say he's pretty involved. He hasn't missed one dr appt yet, even the ones where I only get weighed and give a urine sample but once they start every 2 weeks he will probably not be able to go to all, so I'll just have him come to sono ones or anything else super-important.

He has ZERO interest in registering but that's fine by me (it was the same with our wedding registry). To be honest I'd rather do that stuff myself.

He a little too interested in my aches and pains...sometimes it's cute, sometimes it's borderline hovering and annoying. He calls me a million times a day at my desk to ask me how I'm feeling.

I do wish he was a little more cued in to my hormonal/emotional needs rather than the physical ones right now. I tried to explain that to him but I don't think my point came across well. I feel like he thinks I'm being dramatic and I'm not, I'm just a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and I don't feel like he's being as understanding as he could be....but I'm cutting him some slack.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

DH came to all major appts, but wants to keep as many vaca days as possible to use up when the baby is here... In the beginning he totally didn't get it and my emotions were all over the place and he would just get upset at me, he later admitted that he couldn't grasp the fact that I was pregnant BC it took so long for me to show! Now that I'm really showing he is up my tush about everything, what I'm eating feeling and drinking... And def dealing better with the hormone rollercoaster... He's very excited just yesterday in the car he couldn't stop talking about how soon she's going to be here and all this other stuff, at this point I'm more nervous and he's more excited

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

Everything I do, he does. My Dh is extremely excited about the baby coming.

It really does vary I am sure.

Message edited 10/13/2008 12:20:23 PM.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

he's very excited about all of this. is constantly talking to/kissing my belly, brings me everything i ask for and things that i don't ask for, is doing any cleaning he thinks is too much for me, researches everything, and generally treats me like i'm made out of glass (which is cute, i have to admit).

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

He is definitely more attentive than usual.

Other than that nothing out of the ordinary.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

He's very involved. He only comes to the sono appointments though. IMO there is really no reason for him to come to my regular check ups, no need for him to be there while I pee in a cup and step on the scale.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

My first PG DH was super-involved. He read all the cute books and came to every appointment.

This time he is very involved with G, being that I was sick as a dog for 4 months and tired as all heck. So he is indeed doing his part as far as I am concerned. He is also super-excited to find out if the new nugget is a or tomorrow

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

I never really thought about it-- I think he is as involved as best he can be. He certainly hasn't disappointed me at all. It actually is nice when he cares if I climb on a step stool or something!

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

My husband was very involved with my first...went to all the drs appts (but did not watch any birthing videos or anything...i never asked him too, but I dont think he would have if I did!) He did the babies room and everything.

This pregnancy is different because he is working alot. He leaves before 6, and gets home around 8. He comes to all the drs appts that have sonos and such, but for just the monthly/weekly visits, I just go. Plus, being that we have yet to even sign the contracts on our house, there's no baby room for him to set up. But I know he will do it when the time comes!

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

Posted by preggo08

DH is more involved than I ever thought he would be....he is very protective but in a caring and sweet way. I am loving everyday

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

The last one he came to more appointments and was more involved. This one he has only made it to the anatomy scan. But someone has to watch my DD when I go so its not his fault.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

all men, just like women are different.

My dh is very involved in my pregnancy. he reads books, he talks to our baby, he comes to every single appointment and makes sure to take care of me as best he can. He is doing all the registering with me.

I have friends though who's dh was not as involved.. It all depends what there personalities are like.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

He is pretty involved!! He went to register with me at BBB and wasn't too interested. The only thing he cared about picking out was the stroller, car seat, furniture and bedding. He is lost with the rest of the things. I doesn't bother me, I will bring my sister with me to register at BRU.
He goes to most of my doctors appointments, but not all of them.

He is very excited about the baby, and is very laid back about the whole experience. I worry enough for the two of us. I don't expect him to be much more involved then he is. I don't expect him to read baby books, or look on my registry everyday. Some men are into that, but mine is not. All men are different. My DH will be more involved with the baby when he/she is born.

Message edited 10/13/2008 2:31:57 PM.

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

My DH has been wonderful!

I didnt know what to expect when we found out we were PG since he wasnt sure he was ready but since then he's been great!

He:
comes to all dr's appts with me
rubs cocoa butter on my belly for stretch marks
reads books
researches bf'ing
watches what I eat (but sneaks me a mini-candy bar when I'm craving chocolate)
came up the nickname for the baby

Re: How involved is your DH in your pregnancy?

My DH is a true gem- He really is....Goes to every appointment ( I try to schedule evenings whenever possible ) , is very attentive and was the same with my 1st...Registered with me, took equal part in planning the room etc...The only thing he's more lax on is the name book thing- He's not a big reader, so basically I wrote up a list I liked and we sat together and narrowed them down ( he has the same taste as me luckily) He is the best daddy already and I know how truly blessed I am to have him