Re: How Did You Decide - Kids VS No Kids

Re: How Did You Decide - Kids VS No Kids

I didn't decide.

DH and I went into the marriage agreeing to be unsure, leaning toward no children, but both still open to the possibility of having children.

I came home from the honeymoon to a BFP.

Did it change my life? Yes. Absolutely. But not in the way I thought it would. Those words "a baby changes everything" used to petrify me. It's not the way they make it sound. They make it sound like part of you dies when you have a child. Or at least, that's how I always took it.

The truth is that a new part of you that you never even knew existed, is born.

As for the effect on our relationship... really it didn't change much because we didn't let it. As Beth said, the biggest mistake people make, IMO, is having the children always come first instead of realizing that by putting yourselves and your marriage first - you essentially ARE putting the child first.

It's NOT an easy thing to do. It's much easier to put the baby first. You have to constantly keep on it.

But having a child with your husband creates a amazing bond. I feel like we are really a team. Part of something a little bigger than us - our "family". It's pretty cool.