| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5 >> |
|
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
I don't remember crying for either of my kids but they also were in daycare from 12 weeks.
I have cried about other things so I don't think it is odd to cry about things your children does.
I don't get the parents though who have made their children their entire life that they can't imagine being away from them.
Our job as parents is to raise them in the way that they can go into the world as independent, self-sufficient adults. We need for them to know that there is more to our own lives then just them.
Truthfully, I get what you're saying and ITA with what you said about raising them BUT when you're a SAHM, the reality is.......my life is all about them for the first five years. I am their everything day in and day out. I don't see how it could be any other way. I have my friends and a wonderful relationship with DH but my life is my kids every day, that's my "job".
I think it's hard for anyone to see their kids off but I think maybe the Kindergarten send off is a little harder for a SAHM just because as a working mom, you're already use to separating from them every day.
I am sure it wasn't easy for you at 12 weeks putting them in daycare. Kindergarten is my putting DD in "daycare"..........just five years after you. KWIM? 
Oh, I get it, I really do. It was hard at 12 weeks but I knew I HAD to do it so it just became routine. Not all days were easy though and even now as they are older, there are hard days.
|
Posted 9/8/13 9:40 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
My kids are only 2.5 but I know the first time my DS went to swimming lessons without me I shed a few tears. Happy/proud tears. I couldn't believe he was big enough to take "a class on his own".
I can see it being the same for kindergarten.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 9:42 PM |
| |
|
Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4287 total posts
Name:
|
For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Good answers. I appreciate it.
The thing that has ALWAYS stayed with me is that Staples comerical from years ago when the father is getting the school supplies, the kids are p!ssed, and the music "its the most wonderful time of the year" is playing.
I GET that they are growing up...I guess the wonder, for me, was they are SUPPOSED to grow up and get independant, and learn. I didnt get the "they are GROWING UP" and "not babies" anymore.
Very nice insite.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 9:42 PM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
I don't remember crying for either of my kids but they also were in daycare from 12 weeks.
I have cried about other things so I don't think it is odd to cry about things your children does.
I don't get the parents though who have made their children their entire life that they can't imagine being away from them.
Our job as parents is to raise them in the way that they can go into the world as independent, self-sufficient adults. We need for them to know that there is more to our own lives then just them.
Truthfully, I get what you're saying and ITA with what you said about raising them BUT when you're a SAHM, the reality is.......my life is all about them for the first five years. I am their everything day in and day out. I don't see how it could be any other way. I have my friends and a wonderful relationship with DH but my life is my kids every day, that's my "job".
I think it's hard for anyone to see their kids off but I think maybe the Kindergarten send off is a little harder for a SAHM just because as a working mom, you're already use to separating from them every day.
I am sure it wasn't easy for you at 12 weeks putting them in daycare. Kindergarten is my putting DD in "daycare"..........just five years after you. KWIM?
Oh, I get it, I really do. It was hard at 12 weeks but I knew I HAD to do it so it just became routine. Not all days were easy though and even now as they are older, there are hard days.
I hear ya. I know it will become routine for me too at some point, it's just that initial send off that's a killer. I'm a wreck. 
|
| Posted 9/8/13 9:44 PM |
| |
|
MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by Paramount
Good answers. I appreciate it.
The thing that has ALWAYS stayed with me is that Staples comerical from years ago when the father is getting the school supplies, the kids are p!ssed, and the music "its the most wonderful time of the year" is playing.
I GET that they are growing up...I guess the wonder, for me, was they are SUPPOSED to grow up and get independant, and learn. I didnt get the "they are GROWING UP" and "not babies" anymore.
Very nice insite.
That commercial always cracks me up. It is pretty much how my niece has been all week. But she's entering 5th grade.
That commercial is more about the joy of school aged kids returning to school. Having elementary school aged kids home all summer can have serious pros and cons. My niece and nephew spent a lot of time with my DH and I this summer due to family issues, and many days were all about "omg we're sooooooo BORED". It got annoying.
But the kindergarten and pre-k moms with tissues have first timers on their hands. So the "yay they are going back to school" feeling will come next year. Until them there are way too many what-ifs that you run in your head about how someone else will be with your child. My DD is 2 and I think of how much I love seeing her grow up but also how I still picture that newborn in my arms when she was born. Next year she will likely enter pre-k and i will be one of those moms who is a wreck. I never truly understood the definition behind the term "bittersweet" until I became a mom.
Message edited 9/8/2013 9:57:21 PM.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 9:56 PM |
| |
|
mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
My girls are only 3 and 15 months and I already have cried thinking about sending them to school. Part of it is because time flies by so fast, but its mainly that I will miss them so much. After Newtown I am also extremely afraid & nervous of something bad happening. I worry tremendously about it.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 10:01 PM |
| |
|
mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
double post sorry
Message edited 9/8/2013 10:06:11 PM.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 10:05 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
I don't remember crying for either of my kids but they also were in daycare from 12 weeks.
I have cried about other things so I don't think it is odd to cry about things your children does.
I don't get the parents though who have made their children their entire life that they can't imagine being away from them.
Our job as parents is to raise them in the way that they can go into the world as independent, self-sufficient adults. We need for them to know that there is more to our own lives then just them.
Truthfully, I get what you're saying and ITA with what you said about raising them BUT when you're a SAHM, the reality is.......my life is all about them for the first five years. I am their everything day in and day out. I don't see how it could be any other way. I have my friends and a wonderful relationship with DH but my life is my kids every day, that's my "job".
I think it's hard for anyone to see their kids off but I think maybe the Kindergarten send off is a little harder for a SAHM just because as a working mom, you're already use to separating from them every day.
I am sure it wasn't easy for you at 12 weeks putting them in daycare. Kindergarten is my putting DD in "daycare"..........just five years after you. KWIM?
Oh, I get it, I really do. It was hard at 12 weeks but I knew I HAD to do it so it just became routine. Not all days were easy though and even now as they are older, there are hard days.
I hear ya. I know it will become routine for me too at some point, it's just that initial send off that's a killer. I'm a wreck.
We as parents are usually more of a wreck than the kids are. Best of luck 
|
| Posted 9/8/13 10:16 PM |
| |
|
Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
You're absolutely right!! 
Thank you too!!
|
| Posted 9/8/13 10:26 PM |
| |
|
Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
I think it is sadness about letting go, fears re: not being there if they get hurt or in trouble, them not being a little baby you can protect anymore. My DS is only starting pre K tomorrow, but I am emotional wreck right now!
|
| Posted 9/8/13 10:32 PM |
| |
|
2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
OMG I SOBBED! For a lot of reasons.
1) Bc it solidified that my baby wasn't a baby anymore
2) it was a stark reminder of how little time I really have with them, raising them as kids bc before I even blinked they were growing up
3) bc i was a nervous wreck to hand my kids off to someone I don't know for the first time ever and be like, hey here, this is my LIFE, please take them and get them where they need be SAFELY even though I don't know you, I am trusting you with my CHILD.
4) Same, but reverse for the way home. Hoping they were able to get on the right bus and safely home
5) bc it meant our days together (even though Im a FTWM) were over, and were going to be much more structured and stressed and less about just relaxing and having fun together.
6) I cried for them bc they have had the same routine in a familiar place at daycare since they were infants. I was worried that they would miss it or be scared.
7) i cried just bc i was also so damn proud of them and the little people they had become
Mostly though, just bc my baby wasn't a baby anymore.
Message edited 9/8/2013 10:45:57 PM.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 10:38 PM |
| |
|
2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by nrthshgrl
There is an expression that I heard when I first had a baby. "The days are long, but the years are short."
I have never heard this or thought about it in this context but that is 110% true!
|
| Posted 9/8/13 10:42 PM |
| |
|
Onemoretime
LIF Adult
Member since 9/12 1077 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by afternoondelight828
I don't remember crying for either of my kids but they also were in daycare from 12 weeks.
I have cried about other things so I don't think it is odd to cry about things your children does.
I don't get the parents though who have made their children their entire life that they can't imagine being away from them.
Our job as parents is to raise them in the way that they can go into the world as independent, self-sufficient adults. We need for them to know that there is more to our own lives then just them.
Truthfully, I get what you're saying and ITA with what you said about raising them BUT when you're a SAHM, the reality is.......my life is all about them for the first five years. I am their everything day in and day out. I don't see how it could be any other way. I have my friends and a wonderful relationship with DH but my life is my kids every day, that's my "job".
I think it's hard for anyone to see their kids off but I think maybe the Kindergarten send off is a little harder for a SAHM just because as a working mom, you're already use to separating from them every day.
I am sure it wasn't easy for you at 12 weeks putting them in daycare. Kindergarten is my putting DD in "daycare"..........just five years after you. KWIM?
I agree w Hofstra. I left a great job to be home w DS and make another DS they really are my (and DH's) whole world right now and will be for a long time. In the process we will teach them to be independent and self sufficient as you said. My parents and DH's parents were the same. It was all about us, until it wasn't. Now we are on our own w little kids of our own. Works for us.
I think you can compare it to daycare, in that the separation in the beginning is tough.
The worst part for me on wed ( when ds started school), it was 10:30am,. I had put him on the bus 2.5 hours ago, and I thought jeez I don't even know if he got there ok! Then I realized my 4 yo should have a cell phone to chat w me while he is on the bus   JK!
Message edited 9/8/2013 11:07:04 PM.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 11:01 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by Hofstra26
Really?!?! 
I'm sending my baby off into the world on her own for the first time. Aside from a few hours here and there of separation class and dance my little girl has been with me 24/7 EVERY day of her life since she was born. It's going to be so, so hard putting her on that bus tomorrow morning and putting her in the care of someone else, someone I don't even know. It's breaking my heart........I've been crying ALL weekend.
I know she will love it and do great but it's a big change for me and I will have to get use to being away from my sweet girl all day. It's really not easy. I feel like I just had her, I just can't believe this day is here already. It's bittersweet, I'm gong to have a hard morning tomorrow.
You would think being a former teacher, Kindergarten too no less, I'd be better about this but I'm such a mess. I have a new appreciation for the way all those parents felt the year I had their babies. It's not easy letting go.
For me, I feel all of this, but I also feel so good that my DD is going to be right where she wants to be, with children her own age, socializing and hopefully being treated nicely as she treats others. That is added to what I feel about her going to school all day.
But the thought of her in someone else's care is alot to soak in at first.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 11:16 PM |
| |
|
BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by beachgirl
I cry for several reasons
- since I became a mom I have turned into a complete sap so I cry at a lot of things!
- I am a WAHM so I am my child's first point of contact for everything since birth - I have in home babysitters but the kids still come to me if they need comfort
- I cry because I worry - will my DS remember to go to the bathroom on time or will he continue playing until the very last minute and then he will have to wait to get the teachers attention before he can go
- I cry because it feels SO weird to me to be dropping off my child somewhere for an entire day - I know this is beyond strange to some people but I still feel its weird and my DD is going into second grade
_ I cry because I worry about someone bullying them and them having to sit all day in school scared or confused as to what is going on
- I cry for insane reasons such as "will my DS be able to open his yogurt tube and if not will snack time be over by the time the teacher can get to him"
_ I cry because when my kids fall and hurt themselves the only real source of comfort to them is me - thats just the way it is and I wont be there when that happens
_ I cry especially hard for kindergarten as its such a long day and it will be longest that my kids will have been away from me every
_ I cry now since Newtown CT as its a real worry for me that an atrocity like that could happen in my childs school
- I cry because I just LOVE these little beings to the depths of my soul and beyond and I miss them when they are gone :(
PS My kids NEVER see me cry - never, ever...I wear my sunglasses for days like this and do my crying in the parking lot and in the way home. Its all positive as far as they are concerned.
I cried the entire day Thursday - he started nursery Friday. I cried at every little thought like the above ones. I literally went through an entire box of tissues at my desk.
He did great Friday and I held it together to not cry in front of him. But it was the longest 3 hours of my life. Tomorrow he starts his full days and I took off again so I could be there for him in case he can't handle the day.
I know he will do just fine and that just tears my heart apart - him growing up and becoming independent and not needing me
I know we have to let them grow up but it doesn't mean we can't be sad about it or cry. I will always be sad a bit when my baby is not with me - I'm his mother.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 11:27 PM |
| |
|
schmora15
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 2476 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
My LOs go to day care PT. I don't remember if I got teary eyed, I probably did since I do over cheesy commercials. For me starting school is different. They grow so quickly and I feel like once school starts it will go even quicker; the year will seam shorter, sept-june. I know I will get teary eyed because my DD is so excited to go to big girl school. I'm so proud of her, excited for her and a bit sad all at once.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 11:44 PM |
| |
|
|
|
For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
This is a dumb analogy. I admit. But it's late and I'm tired.
To me, kids are like puppies in a way. They are cute and energetic and wiggly and it's a lot of work but so much fun. And you enjoy it even though you hate all the stages - like potty training and disciplining and trying to train them to be good. Then you get all that down pat and your puppy is now a dog. And a good dog because of all the effort you put in. But now they are no longer a puppy. They never will be a puppy again. It was a short stage and now it's over and it flew by so fast. And sometimes you wish they were a puppy again.
Probably the dumbest post ever on LIF.. But that's how I think of it. Or how I can best explain it.
Message edited 9/8/2013 11:53:51 PM.
|
| Posted 9/8/13 11:53 PM |
| |
|
Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by afternoondelight828
I don't remember crying for either of my kids but they also were in daycare from 12 weeks.
I have cried about other things so I don't think it is odd to cry about things your children does.
I don't get the parents though who have made their children their entire life that they can't imagine being away from them.
Our job as parents is to raise them in the way that they can go into the world as independent, self-sufficient adults. We need for them to know that there is more to our own lives then just them.
Hey my kid *IS* my whole world LOL
I did not cry when she went to school 2 weeks ago to Kinder. I was frustrated and slightly put off that she cried. I mean its not the first time she's been to a 'school'
But its a new school, she's one of so many, she's not important to them as she is to me. She's just 'another one' in their eyes. To me she's everything.
She still complains that the cafeteria is so loud. 1 teacher 20 kids and she feels she is getting in trouble a lot.
I didn't cry when she went to daycare, when I went to work or when she goes to school.
However, I can understand that some parents just feel its a 'omg they are growing up so fast' moment. I got tearing eyed when I saw a photo of my friend's daughter in her new dorm room the first day of college was the first day of AJ's school and I said "Oh damn.. that day really isn't that far off is it?"
I'm proud of my kiddo (minus the crying) and I'm more than happy to ship her off to school to learn, live, lose, love, cry, and get back up. Its just part of life.
But just like life in general, everyone is different. We had a boohoo/yahoo breakfast for the parents on the first day of school and really i saw no tears there either. They seemed to be more yahoo than boohoo parents. All the sad parents left as fast as they could!
Still... this is will be our week three and my daughter is not just left in the cafeteria like others. More and more parents of kindergarten aren't staying in the morning, but I'm still there with my daughter and the 100th last hug and kiss she wants to give me. We have finally moved to the no tears stage from her and I'm slowly distancing us away from her before the bell rings. Just hoping the day I can leave her at her table and walk away. Because then she'll be so into school she won't need my reassurances.
The the moms with tears.. no shame.. cry away.. you only get to do this once, right? That 'first day'. There's so many firsts.. so many tears.
|
| Posted 9/9/13 12:39 AM |
| |
|
Kathy042806
LIF Adult
Member since 5/06 1416 total posts
Name:
Kathy
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by beachgirl
I cry for several reasons
- since I became a mom I have turned into a complete sap so I cry at a lot of things!
- I am a WAHM so I am my child's first point of contact for everything since birth - I have in home babysitters but the kids still come to me if they need comfort
- I cry because I worry - will my DS remember to go to the bathroom on time or will he continue playing until the very last minute and then he will have to wait to get the teachers attention before he can go
- I cry because it feels SO weird to me to be dropping off my child somewhere for an entire day - I know this is beyond strange to some people but I still feel its weird and my DD is going into second grade
_ I cry because I worry about someone bullying them and them having to sit all day in school scared or confused as to what is going on
- I cry for insane reasons such as "will my DS be able to open his yogurt tube and if not will snack time be over by the time the teacher can get to him"
_ I cry because when my kids fall and hurt themselves the only real source of comfort to them is me - thats just the way it is and I wont be there when that happens
_ I cry especially hard for kindergarten as its such a long day and it will be longest that my kids will have been away from me every
_ I cry now since Newtown CT as its a real worry for me that an atrocity like that could happen in my childs school
- I cry because I just LOVE these little beings to the depths of my soul and beyond and I miss them when they are gone :(
PS My kids NEVER see me cry - never, ever...I wear my sunglasses for days like this and do my crying in the parking lot and in the way home. Its all positive as far as they are concerned.
I looove this! So true. I cried like a baby last year on his 1st day of kindergarten. He was soo sad :( this year was a little easier, but I can't believe he's growing up
|
| Posted 9/9/13 7:10 AM |
| |
|
Lannasmama
Love my girls
Member since 7/10 3580 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by meloyellow
exactly...My son is only 2...but I'm sure when it's time for him to go to school I will cry too. We are thick as thieves and spend all our time together. He's my little partner in crime! It's a huge transition.
Same here! DD is only 2 also and I know I will def cry! She's with me all the time!
|
| Posted 9/9/13 8:54 AM |
| |
|
seaside
LIF Adult
Member since 6/08 3101 total posts
Name:
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Read this, and you'll understand. And you'll cry. 
http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=%2F20070905%2FNEWS%2F709050337
|
| Posted 9/9/13 8:56 AM |
| |
|
lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
|
For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Also I've been very emotional since I gave birth to my first. At first I thought it was hormones but that was almost four years ago, lol. I didn't "cry" like blubber today, but my eyes definitely welled up. Ds has been in school already though so it wasn't as crazy as the real first day. I think kindergarten will make me wail though bc it's a whole new beginning ( and end)
|
| Posted 9/9/13 9:39 AM |
| |
|
ko123
My loves!
Member since 10/07 3002 total posts
Name:
Kristin
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
I work 4 days a week we're used to not spending every moment together. And I'm actually excited seeing her grow up, so those aren't my issues.
I get sad thinking of her possibly being sad, or not making friends, or feeling left out, or being too shy. I also worry about her safety.
|
| Posted 9/9/13 9:51 AM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
DD has been in daycare since 8 weeks.
Her "preschool" is in the same daycare.
Her "pre K" will be in the same daycare.
It will just be a different room- just like she has been moving up rooms from infant to toddler to everything in between- they move up rooms every 6 months or so at my daycare.
I am used to being away from her- she goes from 8 am to 6 pm. I work 5 days a week and have since she was 8 weeks old. So it's not that part of it.
I think what will get me most about kindergarten is the fact that she will be leaving this wonderful place that I have entrusted with her care since she was a tiny tiny infant. These wondeful loving place that she LOVES and trusts.
I worry about the adjustment to a new school, the bus, etc.
I will cry more for her than for myself- because I worry that she might be sad or lonely or upset.
That is what I am dreading come time for Kindergarten.
|
| Posted 9/9/13 9:51 AM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: For Parents: This might be a stupid a question, but why do you cry...
Posted by lynnd126
Also I've been very emotional since I gave birth to my first. At first I thought it was hormones but that was almost four years ago, lol. )
Yes! OMG I never was an emotional person. I rarely cried.
Since DD was born I cry at everything- commericals, stories about other children or babies, good stories, bad stories, everything.
It's like having a baby just turns you into an emotional basket case forever!
|
| Posted 9/9/13 9:52 AM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] 3 4 5 >> |
