does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

i wish my DH was a little bit more understanding of what happened to me.. he thinks im going crazy over TTC... and obsessing over it..
he just doesnt understand how important this is to me ,and how badly i want a baby. of course he does as well..

then he says that he would rather me wait till i miss my AF.. and not buy HPT.. he just doesnt want me to get my hopes up..

why is this never easy

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

I am sure he is understanding, he just doesn't want to see you hurt any more than you already are. It's hard for husbands as well, they have no control, and they don't want to see someone they love upset.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by neener1211

I am sure he is understanding, he just doesn't want to see you hurt any more than you already are. It's hard for husbands as well, they have no control, and they don't want to see someone they love upset.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by MetsGirl07

i wish my DH was a little bit more understanding of what happened to me.. he thinks im going crazy over TTC... and obsessing over it..
he just doesnt understand how important this is to me ,and how badly i want a baby. of course he does as well..

then he says that he would rather me wait till i miss my AF.. and not buy HPT.. he just doesnt want me to get my hopes up..

why is this never easy

Message edited 6/16/2008 9:19:01 AM.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by MikesGirl323

Posted by MetsGirl07

i wish my DH was a little bit more understanding of what happened to me.. he thinks im going crazy over TTC... and obsessing over it..
he just doesnt understand how important this is to me ,and how badly i want a baby. of course he does as well..

then he says that he would rather me wait till i miss my AF.. and not buy HPT.. he just doesnt want me to get my hopes up..

why is this never easy

Deanna,
my DH is the same way. they dont understand. they didnt bond with the baby like we did, especially since we were so far along. He thinks i should take a break from the website, b.c i am always talking about it and crying, and i must admitt. i am alittle crazy. And he totally agress with ur hubby about waiting to miss AF b/f i take a HPT. Ahh men. I love him to death, hes my best friend, but men just dont understnad.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Men by nature need to "fix" things. He can't fix this, so it's frustrating for him. Add to the fact that he's still hurting from the loss of your LO, as well as seeing the pain it's caused you, and he's probably terrified.

In contrast, the added *control* that obsessing about TTC (timing, OPKs,using HPT) provides is likely a comfort to you.

But to answer your question: DH always at me when I was temping and charting and using OPKs. He felt I was sucking the fun out of it.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by Porrruss

Men by nature need to "fix" things. He can't fix this, so it's frustrating for him. Add to the fact that he's still hurting from the loss of your LO, as well as seeing the pain it's caused you, and he's probably terrified.

In contrast, the added *control* that obsessing about TTC (timing, OPKs,using HPT) provides is likely a comfort to you.

But to answer your question: DH always at me when I was temping and charting and using OPKs. He felt I was sucking the fun out of it.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by Porrruss

Men by nature need to "fix" things. He can't fix this, so it's frustrating for him. Add to the fact that he's still hurting from the loss of your LO, as well as seeing the pain it's caused you, and he's probably terrified.

In contrast, the added *control* that obsessing about TTC (timing, OPKs,using HPT) provides is likely a comfort to you.

But to answer your question: DH always at me when I was temping and charting and using OPKs. He felt I was sucking the fun out of it.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Yeah i hear that, my DH wants it to be natural like it will happen when it happens attitude, and i know i am obsessed i mean i want it so bad. Its really hard, i mean actually everyone i know thinks i should wait. they are like get ur life back together, get healthy, shed some pounds blah blah blah. that could take forever.
i think that DH is nervous its going to happen again, and doesnt want to see me go threw it again. But i cant live my life in fear, and i cant just stop what i want and what i believe just to prove to people i am not crazy.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Porrruss

Men by nature need to "fix" things. He can't fix this, so it's frustrating for him. Add to the fact that he's still hurting from the loss of your LO, as well as seeing the pain it's caused you, and he's probably terrified.

In contrast, the added *control* that obsessing about TTC (timing, OPKs,using HPT) provides is likely a comfort to you.

But to answer your question: DH always at me when I was temping and charting and using OPKs. He felt I was sucking the fun out of it.

well said.. i agree with you..
he probably does think that i am taking all the fun out of it..

thanks for the reply!

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by Porrruss

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Porrruss

Men by nature need to "fix" things. He can't fix this, so it's frustrating for him. Add to the fact that he's still hurting from the loss of your LO, as well as seeing the pain it's caused you, and he's probably terrified.

In contrast, the added *control* that obsessing about TTC (timing, OPKs,using HPT) provides is likely a comfort to you.

But to answer your question: DH always at me when I was temping and charting and using OPKs. He felt I was sucking the fun out of it.

well said.. i agree with you..
he probably does think that i am taking all the fun out of it..

thanks for the reply!

What I did that helped was to obsess about TTC on HERE- not to him. HE had no idea that I was planning every BD encounter. In fact, with #2, he had no idea I was peeing on OPKs, using progesterone cream, taking supplements. He did know I was temping, but I never mentioned fertile times to him.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Porrruss

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Porrruss

Men by nature need to "fix" things. He can't fix this, so it's frustrating for him. Add to the fact that he's still hurting from the loss of your LO, as well as seeing the pain it's caused you, and he's probably terrified.

In contrast, the added *control* that obsessing about TTC (timing, OPKs,using HPT) provides is likely a comfort to you.

But to answer your question: DH always at me when I was temping and charting and using OPKs. He felt I was sucking the fun out of it.

well said.. i agree with you..
he probably does think that i am taking all the fun out of it..

thanks for the reply!

What I did that helped was to obsess about TTC on HERE- not to him. HE had no idea that I was planning every BD encounter. In fact, with #2, he had no idea I was peeing on OPKs, using progesterone cream, taking supplements. He did know I was temping, but I never mentioned fertile times to him.

haha.. thats great!
i might have to do this..
i already know that i will be sneaking HPT's home when he is not around.. i just cant help myself.. besides.. i am not getting my hopes up, so im bracing myself for a BFN... its ok

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by Porrruss

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Porrruss

Posted by MetsGirl07

Posted by Porrruss

Men by nature need to "fix" things. He can't fix this, so it's frustrating for him. Add to the fact that he's still hurting from the loss of your LO, as well as seeing the pain it's caused you, and he's probably terrified.

In contrast, the added *control* that obsessing about TTC (timing, OPKs,using HPT) provides is likely a comfort to you.

But to answer your question: DH always at me when I was temping and charting and using OPKs. He felt I was sucking the fun out of it.

well said.. i agree with you..
he probably does think that i am taking all the fun out of it..

thanks for the reply!

What I did that helped was to obsess about TTC on HERE- not to him. HE had no idea that I was planning every BD encounter. In fact, with #2, he had no idea I was peeing on OPKs, using progesterone cream, taking supplements. He did know I was temping, but I never mentioned fertile times to him.

haha.. thats great!
i might have to do this..
i already know that i will be sneaking HPT's home when he is not around.. i just cant help myself.. besides.. i am not getting my hopes up, so im bracing myself for a BFN... its ok

The one thing that sucked was having to jump him during infertile times so I could throw him off to my "real" times. Is that bad that I resented having to have sex with him just for fun?

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

At first, he was really unhappy with me for being so obsessive & driving myself insane. He used to tell me to relax when I would get moody or down about TTC, or when I would start rattling off my 'symptoms' & he would try to discourage me from buying HPTs. Now when I get sad, he gets an understanding look in his eyes & he just hugs me & rubs my back. I think now he's started to understand that this is getting difficult for me & that as much as I've been trying, I can't help but be a little obsessive & sad. I love him so much for trying to understand.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

I'm in the minority here, but my DH is more obsessed with TTC than I am! Well, I wouldn't say "obsessed" - but he is totally in tune with counting cycle days, OPKs, etc. He also regularly does research on things we can do to optimize our chances. It's actually really nice that he is so informed!

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

I think as women we tend to obsess over things anyway and then add that this is a maternal thing and its ridiculous. That is why i come on the boards all the time. I want DH to enjoy this experience so whenever im feeling sad or overwhelmed for a moment, i come on here.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

DH hasn't really thought I was obsessing-- but when I update my mom, she seems to think I am a little crazy with it. I personally think I am quite rationale. This is just what TTC is like these days. It was different for her.

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Nope sorry, DH is just as excited as I am!!!

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Yes. He thought I was obsessing over the wedding when I was on LIW, and when I turned here, he thought I was getting too wrapped with TTC. He hates you guys - just kidding.

Although he doesn't love the idea that this makes me obsessive, he accepts it. Just like LIW served as a great resource, he knows this does too. Deep down, I know he is right though. I know too much, which makes me a little .

Men are much more rational and get less emotional. I'm sure he is as excited as you are to try again, but he is also looking out for his girl, and you can't blame him for that!

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Re: does your DH/SO think you are too obsessed about TTC??

Posted by MrsMessina

Posted by Porrruss

Men by nature need to "fix" things. He can't fix this, so it's frustrating for him. Add to the fact that he's still hurting from the loss of your LO, as well as seeing the pain it's caused you, and he's probably terrified.

This is what I was going to say. My DH always used to ask me what he could do to make it better, or try to say something that would 'fix' it until the next month.
After they cancelled my 2nd IUI and told us it was IVF or nothing I LOST it in the car.... I couldn't breathe and was turning colors from sobbing so much.... I said "I can't believe this is happening to ME. How come MY body is doing this to ME..." and he said "No- WE can't believe this is happening to US". That was the first time that it truly hit me- he was going thru the same emotions, but being the guy, he was trying to hold them in and 'fix' things.