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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by Jessica
I don't believe I am qualified to answer that since many of us are newly married.
I think we all have "faith" that love will last that is why we marry, but if it actually does, I guess it depends on the couple, and what they've endured together throughout the years.
Is there anyone here married over 50 years that can shed some light on this topic?
eta to change from any of us to me since i dont want to put words in anyone's mouths
Don't know if I can help as we have been married almost 15 years and together almost 20 years (not quite 50 though-lol!!).
I don't think love fades if it is real and true. While my dh and I have been through very bad times and very good times, thick and thin, we still love each other and I truly think we are soul mates. We grew up together and while our love is different than when we met, I think it is much stronger from the bonds we have developed from what we have gone through.
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Posted 5/21/08 4:54 PM  |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I once asked my mother how she was able to stay married to one man for so long. She and my father had been married for 49 years. She said that when a couple first gets married, they have that head-over-heels feeling. They are deep in love, all over each other and its all happiness and lollipops and butterflies. Over the years, the friendship deepens and evolves into a different kind of love. They can each have their own life, yet they cannot live without each other. The physical stuff may die down, but the deep love is still there.
Her take was that if a couple can accept the evolution of a relationship and all of its changes rather than holding on to an ideal that your mate is going to knock your socks off each and every time one or the other walks into a room, then the relationship stands more of a chance of working. I tend to agree. I only know of 2 couples in my life who have had the newlywed glow their entire marriage.
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| Posted 5/21/08 5:18 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by Goldi0218
I once asked my mother how she was able to stay married to one man for so long. She and my father had been married for 49 years. She said that when a couple first gets married, they have that head-over-heels feeling. They are deep in love, all over each other and its all happiness and lollipops and butterflies. Over the years, the friendship deepens and evolves into a different kind of love. They can each have their own life, yet they cannot live without each other. The physical stuff may die down, but the deep love is still there.
Her take was that if a couple can accept the evolution of a relationship and all of its changes rather than holding on to an ideal that your mate is going to knock your socks off each and every time one or the other walks into a room, then the relationship stands more of a chance of working. I tend to agree. I only know of 2 couples in my life who have had the newlywed glow their entire marriage.
That was beautiful! 
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| Posted 5/21/08 5:21 PM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22150 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
It changes, goes through cycles and evolves, that's for sure. But fading? If it fades, I would wonder if it was ever there? I think love is love.
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| Posted 5/21/08 5:21 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I think that the newness and "puppy love" infatuation of a new relationship fades. But I've been with my DH 7 years now and like someone else said, it definitely has evolved and grown deeper and more mature.
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| Posted 5/21/08 5:28 PM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I think the "guy" you talked to is bitter and jaded. I don't believe love fades at all. It can change and evolve or it can die if neglected.
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| Posted 5/21/08 5:50 PM |
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tourist
Member since 5/05 10425 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by BabyAvocado
I wonder how much his love for his mother has faded...
True love shouldn't fade. Though I do believe it can for some, that doesn't mean it necessarily will for everyone.
That's a good point. My love for peopel that I've known my whole life has increased, even though my tolerance of them, has gone up & down.
If love with a partner is true love, I believe it is largely the same as love for family, but with added things, like romantic attraction.
It's when the added things fall apart that the realtionship falls apart if the love wasn't really there underneath everything else, or if it is, but it can't stand alone as the reason to stay together.
I come from a long line of solid relationships, so I believe that in most case it doesn't fade.
And "jeans fade, therefore love fades", is just silly.
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| Posted 5/21/08 5:59 PM |
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wannabemom
look who's freshly baked!
Member since 12/07 7364 total posts
Name:
aka marriedinportjeff
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
infatuation fades.... that attraction is hormonally based and never lasts over 18 months of so....
genuine love is different from attraction, and much more similar (neurologically speaking) to familial love... I don't see many parents dumping their kids after a few years 
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| Posted 5/21/08 6:05 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by Goldi0218
I once asked my mother how she was able to stay married to one man for so long. She and my father had been married for 49 years. She said that when a couple first gets married, they have that head-over-heels feeling. They are deep in love, all over each other and its all happiness and lollipops and butterflies. Over the years, the friendship deepens and evolves into a different kind of love. They can each have their own life, yet they cannot live without each other. The physical stuff may die down, but the deep love is still there.
Her take was that if a couple can accept the evolution of a relationship and all of its changes rather than holding on to an ideal that your mate is going to knock your socks off each and every time one or the other walks into a room, then the relationship stands more of a chance of working. I tend to agree. I only know of 2 couples in my life who have had the newlywed glow their entire marriage.
I have to say though, that after almost 20 years, I STILL get knocked off my socks when I see my dh-lol!! I think I am just more open now than when I first met him.
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| Posted 5/21/08 6:28 PM |
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
IMO, TRUE love does not fade. In my experience, it grows deeper everyday.
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| Posted 5/21/08 8:16 PM |
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2girlsforme
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3071 total posts
Name:
XXXXXXXXX
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by bicosi
Posted by Goldi0218
I once asked my mother how she was able to stay married to one man for so long. She and my father had been married for 49 years. She said that when a couple first gets married, they have that head-over-heels feeling. They are deep in love, all over each other and its all happiness and lollipops and butterflies. Over the years, the friendship deepens and evolves into a different kind of love. They can each have their own life, yet they cannot live without each other. The physical stuff may die down, but the deep love is still there.
Her take was that if a couple can accept the evolution of a relationship and all of its changes rather than holding on to an ideal that your mate is going to knock your socks off each and every time one or the other walks into a room, then the relationship stands more of a chance of working. I tend to agree. I only know of 2 couples in my life who have had the newlywed glow their entire marriage.
That was beautiful!
I agree. I am married 13 years, we are together 15 years. While we are still in love, its a love that has to some extent matured. We've been through so many things together, good and bad, that have solidified our relationship. I agree completely with your mother that you can have your own life but can not live without each other.
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| Posted 5/21/08 8:36 PM |
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
After 7 years, i feel even more excited and more "butterflies" than i did when we first met. But it is a different type of excitement, more of a comfort/contentment type than a lustful newness, if that makes any sense.
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| Posted 5/21/08 8:39 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I think it definitely can fade, and it is difficult to nurture and grow. In order to have a successful relationship in which love does not fade, I think it takes two equally committed people who work to make sure that the evolution of the relationship does not lead to disintegration.
We all grow, mature, and change, and as we change, we need to work together to make sure that our goals for our relationship are still in agreement.
I think any marriage based on looks, or marrying a trophy wife, would eventually fall apart, because there will always be someone younger and prettier.
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| Posted 5/21/08 8:56 PM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
Posted by Ophelia
let's look at his jeans analogy.
sure if you find a pair of jeans that you like, don't read the care label, don't treat them they way they are supposed to be cared for, and just "expect" them to always fit and look the same, you will be disappointed.
but, if you take those awesome jeans, read the care label and understand and DO the work involved in maintaining that great fit and that nice color, you're work will be rewarded far longer.
you'll rock those jeans for years and years b/c you know what they are worth to you.
same with a partner. 
I totally love your analogy!! It's sooo true!
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| Posted 5/21/08 9:20 PM |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
I believe that of course people change......but not sure if love fades, sometimes the changes that people go through are what causes some difficulties is staying married...however I am a newlywed and somewhat biased! i hope my love does not fade!
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| Posted 5/21/08 9:35 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
I think once the lust and initial excitement change it becomes something different, but I do not equate that to fading....
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| Posted 5/21/08 9:51 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
My IL's proved everyday that love doesn't fade. I feel so sad for my FIL, he is like a lost soul since my MIL passed away. Even death hasn't stopped their love.
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| Posted 5/21/08 9:53 PM |
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
I'm sorry - did he compare a relationship between 2 people to a pair of jeans???? 
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| Posted 5/22/08 6:32 AM |
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
Posted by Ophelia
let's look at his jeans analogy.
sure if you find a pair of jeans that you like, don't read the care label, don't treat them they way they are supposed to be cared for, and just "expect" them to always fit and look the same, you will be disappointed.
but, if you take those awesome jeans, read the care label and understand and DO the work involved in maintaining that great fit and that nice color, you're work will be rewarded far longer.
you'll rock those jeans for years and years b/c you know what they are worth to you.
same with a partner.
not for nothing, but my favorite pair of jeans are my oldest, most worn out, hole-y pairs 
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| Posted 5/22/08 6:33 AM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
I do thing that initial, euphoric love you first have does fade. But its replaced by something so much better! It is a deeper, more bonded love.
DH and I have been together 9 years. Now, with a daughter and real life problems, the euphoria of living just for us does fade.
But now, we have a deeper love. He is the father of my child- and when I see him be a great dad, my love grows deeper. When we solve a problem together, our love grows stronger.
Now after 31 years, I can't imagine what happens. I have noticed from my in laws and some other couples of that age that they live more separate lives. Men do men things and women do women things- and when you live like that, love can fade (it did for my inlaws who got divorced last year). I know very few people of that generation "worked" on their marriage- analyze it, deal with it, and make sure they renew it.
But if you work on your marriage- after 31 years, your love can be as strong as ever.
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| Posted 5/22/08 7:16 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
I agree that love evolves, but I also think depending on the couple it can fade as well.
I think it's an excuse for him. Without question love takes work. If he's decided to slack of working on it, then yes it fades.
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| Posted 5/22/08 7:21 AM |
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mcl916
my two loves
Member since 10/06 5133 total posts
Name:
Megan
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
Posted by Ophelia
let's look at his jeans analogy.
sure if you find a pair of jeans that you like, don't read the care label, don't treat them they way they are supposed to be cared for, and just "expect" them to always fit and look the same, you will be disappointed.
but, if you take those awesome jeans, read the care label and understand and DO the work involved in maintaining that great fit and that nice color, you're work will be rewarded far longer.
you'll rock those jeans for years and years b/c you know what they are worth to you.
same with a partner.
LOVE this anaology
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| Posted 5/22/08 7:49 AM |
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JenBenMen
party of five
Member since 9/06 11343 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
I think that "love" needs to be constantly nurtured.
You cant fall in love in your 20's and think you will still be "in love" in your 60's without working on it!! E.g.-take in new interests together, travel together, appreciate each other etc
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| Posted 5/22/08 9:04 AM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I'm sorry - did he compare a relationship between 2 people to a pair of jeans????
] Yes, lol he is a weirdo.
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| Posted 5/22/08 9:06 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Does Love eventually fade???
Posted by Ophelia
let's look at his jeans analogy.
sure if you find a pair of jeans that you like, don't read the care label, don't treat them they way they are supposed to be cared for, and just "expect" them to always fit and look the same, you will be disappointed.
but, if you take those awesome jeans, read the care label and understand and DO the work involved in maintaining that great fit and that nice color, you're work will be rewarded far longer.
you'll rock those jeans for years and years b/c you know what they are worth to you.
same with a partner.
You are a freakin awesome!!!! i would have NEVER thought of it that way. I would just expect those jeans to fade with time but man.....you really nailed it. ITA!!!!
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| Posted 5/22/08 9:36 AM |
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