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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Does Love eventually fade???
don't know how it came up but, my boss and I were talking about Wall Street and he said that some women with certain values, consisting of just money and lust go to Wall St. to land a secretary job and became a secretary in the hopes of becoming a trophy wife.
Depends on what your values are if it's not love.. then he followed with "love fades".. I replied "Well, not always.. he told me "yea, show me a pair of your jeans that have not faded".. I told him, "Acutally If you marry someone because you love them and are in love with them, and if they are a good person and they share the same quality of life that you do, I am sure love can last a very long time for some people.. he did not think so..
My boss is a Jewish man who has been married for over 30 years.
SO, here I am finding myself somewhat sad, thinking.. gee, is he right??? What do you ladies think about this? Oh and the men that post here, feel free to reply as well! Does LOVE eventually fade???
Edited to be more clear
Message edited 5/21/2008 9:18:56 PM.
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Posted 5/21/08 4:17 PM  |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I don't think it fades. I have always believed that love evolves!
The guy you were talking to has either been burned badly or has just not found the right one.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:19 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I don't think it fades.... it changes and adapts, but doesn't have to fade. As you get older, and life happens around you, your love gets deeper and more foundational. OK, so maybe we're not making out every second of the day like in HS, but that doesn't mean we don't still love each other.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:21 PM |
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Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard
Member since 5/07 6710 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
It always has for me in the past... but....this time it just keeps growing ang growing!! Thank God!!
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:21 PM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I don't believe I am qualified to answer that since many of us are newly married.
I think we all have "faith" that love will last that is why we marry, but if it actually does, I guess it depends on the couple, and what they've endured together throughout the years.
Is there anyone here married over 50 years that can shed some light on this topic?
eta to change from any of us to me since i dont want to put words in anyone's mouths
Message edited 5/21/2008 4:37:18 PM.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:21 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Message edited 11/18/2011 7:32:14 PM.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:22 PM |
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MrsB-07
proud RELAXIVIST
Member since 11/07 2027 total posts
Name:
b
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I don't think love fades... but I think the type of love can change over time. For instance, I bet my grandparents don't feel that head-over-heels, butterflies in the stomach love that they felt when they were first married, but there is still love there.
I think it also changes because your role in relationships change. I know a lot of men that said they felt so different after their wives had their children. Usually I heard they felt more connected than ever and I'm sure that's probably another way to love someone, loving the mother/father of your child.
Not so much a fading as it is an evolving... I think anyway
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:22 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
let's look at his jeans analogy.
sure if you find a pair of jeans that you like, don't read the care label, don't treat them they way they are supposed to be cared for, and just "expect" them to always fit and look the same, you will be disappointed.
but, if you take those awesome jeans, read the care label and understand and DO the work involved in maintaining that great fit and that nice color, you're work will be rewarded far longer.
you'll rock those jeans for years and years b/c you know what they are worth to you.
same with a partner.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:22 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I love my DH as much as I did when we first got together as a couple back in 2001...and I have loved him as a best friend since 1997.
like a PP said, it evolves and take different forms I believe (madly in love can't keep your hands off each other or a comfortable holding hands when you fall asleep at night)
I married for love and I know that not everyone does...but I just could never do it for any other reason.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:22 PM |
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I certainly think that love CAN fade, but the trick is to keep it from doing so. As a child of divorced parents I can't deny that love fades, I've seen it happen more times than I can count. But I've also seen my grandparents celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. Love is something that you have to keep going, keep your relationship alive and love will stay strong. If 2 people don't dedicate themselves to rekindling that flame then it may eventually go out.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:25 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by Jessica
I don't believe any of us on here are qualified to answer that since many of us are newly married.
I think we all have "faith" that love will last that is why we marry, but if it actually does, I guess it depends on the couple, and what they've endured together throughout the years.
Is there anyone here married over 50 years that can shed some light on this topic?
So we have to be married 50 years in order to have an answer to this question?
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:26 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by Jessica
I don't believe any of us on here are qualified to answer that since many of us are newly married.
I think we all have "faith" that love will last that is why we marry, but if it actually does, I guess it depends on the couple, and what they've endured together throughout the years.
Is there anyone here married over 50 years that can shed some light on this topic?
DW and I are close to the "old married couple" category.... we've been together for 19 years now..... (In two days, we'll have been dating exactly 19 years)
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:27 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
it doesn't fade..it changes, morphs and becomes something even deeper.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:29 PM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by bicosi
I don't think it fades. I have always believed that love evolves!
The guy you were talking to has either been burned badly or has just not found the right one.
He's married 30 something years...
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:30 PM |
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bicosi
life is a carousel
Member since 7/07 14956 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by ToriaRae
Posted by bicosi
I don't think it fades. I have always believed that love evolves!
The guy you were talking to has either been burned badly or has just not found the right one.
He's married 30 something years...
WOW! maybe he married the wrong woman or they are just in an unhappy marriage.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:32 PM |
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mycrayon1
LIF Toddler
Member since 10/07 438 total posts
Name:
Carolyn
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by Ophelia
let's look at his jeans analogy.
sure if you find a pair of jeans that you like, don't read the care label, don't treat them they way they are supposed to be cared for, and just "expect" them to always fit and look the same, you will be disappointed.
but, if you take those awesome jeans, read the care label and understand and DO the work involved in maintaining that great fit and that nice color, you're work will be rewarded far longer.
you'll rock those jeans for years and years b/c you know what they are worth to you.
same with a partner.
That was so well put and ITA!
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:32 PM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by bicosi
So we have to be married 50 years in order to have an answer to this question?
nope, we can all have our opinions on it.
my opinion is, I just don't know and don't think i'm qualified to answer it. i stated it wrong now that im rereading what i wrote
i just think I love my DH so much and vice versa, we've been through ups and downs, we will go through hardships and happiness and I have "faith" our love will endure but i have no concrete proof that it will not fade...
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:36 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
In my opinion and experience, if you think that LOVE fades, then you just don't know what true love is.
Lust fades. Infatuation fades. Puppy love fades. True love, however, grows stronger with time. It has the ability to evolve, as others have said, but I don't think it fades.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:37 PM |
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igottabeme
Its peanut butter jelly time!
Member since 1/08 2340 total posts
Name:
Wouldnt you like to know! ;)
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by GoldenRod
I don't think it fades.... it changes and adapts, but doesn't have to fade.
i agree. i dont think it ever fades, it might just change from the original lust that you had for each other.
i've been with my DH now for 12 years next month...married for 2 of them. i dont have that butterflies in my stomach feeling anymore like when we were teenagers, but our love is so much more than that now. its not just a love relationship, its a friendship. and if you dont have that, then i can see it fading.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:38 PM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by Jessica
I don't believe I am qualified to answer that since many of us are newly married.
I think we all have "faith" that love will last that is why we marry, but if it actually does, I guess it depends on the couple, and what they've endured together throughout the years.
Is there anyone here married over 50 years that can shed some light on this topic?
eta to change from any of us to me since i dont want to put words in anyone's mouths
Yes, this is very true.. I forgot that those of us on here are newly married..
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:38 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I wonder how much his love for his mother has faded...
True love shouldn't fade. Though I do believe it can for some, that doesn't mean it necessarily will for everyone.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:40 PM |
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Bellaocchi
Hope Faith Love
Member since 2/07 5694 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by igottabeme
Posted by GoldenRod
I don't think it fades.... it changes and adapts, but doesn't have to fade.
i agree. i dont think it ever fades, it might just change from the original lust that you had for each other.
i've been with my DH now for 12 years next month...married for 2 of them. i dont have that butterflies in my stomach feeling anymore like when we were teenagers, but our love is so much more than that now. its not just a love relationship, its a friendship. and if you dont have that, then i can see it fading.
I believe this. I agree. I think that the love evolves as the two of us grow and change as the years would go on and it helps if you have a strong friendship as well. I am married for 1 year and 6 months so far and will be with my hubby this August 5 years.
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:41 PM |
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Jessica
I'm a mommy :)
Member since 1/06 7322 total posts
Name:
~Jess~
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by BabyAvocado
I wonder how much his love for his mother has faded...
True love shouldn't fade. Though I do believe it can for some, that doesn't mean it necessarily will for everyone.
this is what i mean
that there is a chance that some couple that had true love, their love will fade. I also am not trying to be a debbie downer and say it happens to EVERYONE, but i believe its a chance that everyone takes when marrying or deciding to be life partners. I believe that sometimes, love can't conquer all. I hope it doesn't happen to me or any of us here, but Im just saying love changes and evolves, sometimes it can fade
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:44 PM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
Posted by igottabeme
Posted by GoldenRod
I don't think it fades.... it changes and adapts, but doesn't have to fade.
i agree. i dont think it ever fades, it might just change from the original lust that you had for each other.
i've been with my DH now for 12 years next month...married for 2 of them. i dont have that butterflies in my stomach feeling anymore like when we were teenagers, but our love is so much more than that now. its not just a love relationship, its a friendship. and if you dont have that, then i can see it fading.
same here been toegther 10yrs have the same feelings
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:48 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Does Love evenutally fade???
I think it changes..
When you 1st get together, things are so intense; sometimes you can feel so consumed and overwhelmed emotionally. As time goes on, it becomes more settled. The element of surprise is typically gone, you know what to expect of your partner, etc. That's where I think people get confused.
I can honestly say that I had love in my heart for the 15 years I was with my STBX, however that euphoric type of love definitely was out the window by the time I filed. Actually, it was probably gone within the first year of our marriage. It was an "established" sense of love by the time it was over. I've been pondering this for awhile now, how do you know that the feelings you have for someone RIGHT now are the feelings you'll have in 10, 20 or 30 years??? I just don't have the answer. I can only strive for the type of love my Grandparents had (married 68 and 62 years respectfully). Grandma and Grandpa were still kicking it into their late 80's 
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| Posted 5/21/08 4:48 PM |
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