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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
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Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Do you limit or ask DH not to do things you can no longer do? Example: drinking, happy hours, etc?
I am torn on this because I want to be fair to DH but at the same time, its not really fair if he is out partying/spending $$ while I'm home feeling like crap.
The only thing I've asked him not to do is order wine when its just the 2 of us out to dinner (it makes me jealous). If we are out with friends, I don't mind him drinking and I offer to drive.
This came up because we used to go to a lot of concerts and I'm not comfortable doing that anymore...
Just curious what others do.
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Posted 9/19/11 3:36 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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WenRC
Happiness is...
Member since 4/11 1253 total posts
Name:
Wendy
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Although I too get jealous of DH bc of all activities I can no longer take part in (ie, bike riding, driinking, smoking cigars) I do not ask him to stop. I figure once our son is born, I have at least 9 months of designated driving to cash in.
Also, there is no reason we should both be miserable.
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| Posted 9/19/11 3:43 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
No, not at all. Why should we both suffer 
I try to take part in whatever I can. Like if we go for sushi, I order things that are cooked. He can still have his sushi and sake as usual and even though I might be a little jealous, I want him to enjoy!
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| Posted 9/19/11 3:43 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
No, I want him to be able to enjoy it as much as he can before our lives change dramatically!
Its not really much of an issue for me though- I'm really tired so I'm happy to stay home than go to parties. I'd rather he go out so I get the remote control I dont like sushi... and the thought of drinking makes me  at the moment!
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| Posted 9/19/11 3:47 PM |
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LoveMyHubby605
Our April Baby is here!
Member since 4/11 2418 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
No, I don't limit DH or ask him not to do things but DH also is a complete homebody and rarely goes out without me. When we went to Vegas (we had booked the trip before I got pregnant), I encouraged him to drink but he didn't because he didn't feel like it. We've been to parties and happy hours and I always tell him to enjoy himself.
I think there are several factors why I'm okay with this.
1. I am pretty miserable and don't feel like doing a lot of stuff so when we do trudge out the house, I want him to enjoy it.
2. I usually love my beer and wine,but *knock on wood*, the thought of alcohol right now is repulsive to me so I don't envy him when he's drinking.
3. DH is pretty responsible and rarely drinks more than 2 drinks when we are out so it's never been a situation where I have to take care of him (usually the other way around) so I think he earned himself the leeway.
The only thing I can think of that will bother me is we are planning a weekend in poconos this fall or winter with some friends and I know I can't use the hot tub or go skiing/snowboarding. I won't ask him to stay with me 24/7 but I will be feeling pretty lonely if I will be constantly left out of activities!
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| Posted 9/19/11 3:52 PM |
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teachermom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/11 843 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
No, I don't think he needs to stop enjoying things just because I can't. I'm sorry but your wine example is totally selfish. I can see if there are financial issues and he is going out all the time spending cash you need to save but if that isn't the case, find things you can do togther and let him have his wine.
edit- One more thing, maybe I don't feel the need to "limit" him because I know he would never do it to me if the tables were turned and he is totally sensative to what I'm dealing with. Especially now that I'm on bed rest and he is doing everything for me and the baby.
Message edited 9/19/2011 4:14:01 PM.
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:12 PM |
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ODonnell
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Member since 9/05 5983 total posts
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Not at all. We went to happy hour nearly every Friday during the Summer and last week I was just too tired so he went with a couple of friends. I have no problem with him having a few drinks with dinner when we are out either - I keep reminding him to make the most of it as things are about to change very soon.
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:13 PM |
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LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
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L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
I did when I was pg with DS, this time for some reason I don't really care. I only get mad when he orders multiple beers because of the $$. I don't know why its not making me jealous this time around, considering how much I want to get s-faced at this point with all the stress.
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:16 PM |
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InShock2011
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/11 722 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
No. that sounds silly. If I have to suffer why should he? I'm a grown up I can handle someone doing something I can't
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:30 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
No but since @ 34 w I have asked that he not drink too much on the weekends in case I go into labor I would prefer be able to drive me and not drunk
ETA: He didn't really go out to bars or anything w/o me. We went out together and he had drinks and I drove.It would bother me if every weekend or often he wanted to go out to bars with his friends till all hours. Call me selfish but since I can't do it, why should he? here and there is one thing of course.
Message edited 9/19/2011 4:51:43 PM.
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:35 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Yes. The following scenario is presently "unacceptable" in my book:
For him to go out in the city and get so drunk that he is incapable of finding his way home, leading him to get on any random LIRR train, then passing out on the train and winding up at some random station and calling me in the middle of the night begging me to come pick him up (this has happened at least 3 times over the past 9 years).
Other than that, he does what he wants.
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:36 PM |
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readyforbaby
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/11 395 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
No, not at all. I tell him to go out and have a good time for me if I can't go. I wouldn't like it if it were an everyday occurrence, but every now and again going out for a few drinks, or whatever, I'm fine with.
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:37 PM |
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jax1
Love my baby girl!!!
Member since 3/09 3405 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Nope not with drinking/going out or anything like that.
I only get upset when he smokes, but I did that before pregnancy. He quit for awhile, but now does every once in awhile, especially if he;s drinking and i hate it. he says he will stop for good when babygirl is here, but i wish he would just stop now :(
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:40 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Posted by Bearcat
Yes. The following scenario is presently "unacceptable" in my book:
For him to go out in the city and get so drunk that he is incapable of finding his way home, leading him to get on any random LIRR train, then passing out on the train and winding up at some random station and calling me in the middle of the night begging me to come pick him up (this has happened at least 3 times over the past 9 years).
Other than that, he does what he wants.
thats my rule for life not pregnancy lol... i need to take my shoes off to count how many times this has happened...
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:41 PM |
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jax1
Love my baby girl!!!
Member since 3/09 3405 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Posted by LoveMyHubby605
The only thing I can think of that will bother me is we are planning a weekend in poconos this fall or winter with some friends and I know I can't use the hot tub or go skiing/snowboarding. I won't ask him to stay with me 24/7 but I will be feeling pretty lonely if I will be constantly left out of activities!
We do this every Feb, and last Feb when we went I was pregnant. I was around 11 weeks so puking every day. I still had a pretty good time,but it was a little annoying not being able to drink, go in the hot tubm etc! Hope you have fun!!! I still had a fun time!
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:43 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by Bearcat
Yes. The following scenario is presently "unacceptable" in my book:
For him to go out in the city and get so drunk that he is incapable of finding his way home, leading him to get on any random LIRR train, then passing out on the train and winding up at some random station and calling me in the middle of the night begging me to come pick him up (this has happened at least 3 times over the past 9 years).
Other than that, he does what he wants.
thats my rule for life not pregnancy lol... i need to take my shoes off to count how many times this has happened...
omg the two of you are going to heaven.
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:48 PM |
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LoveMyHubby605
Our April Baby is here!
Member since 4/11 2418 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Posted by jax1
Posted by LoveMyHubby605
The only thing I can think of that will bother me is we are planning a weekend in poconos this fall or winter with some friends and I know I can't use the hot tub or go skiing/snowboarding. I won't ask him to stay with me 24/7 but I will be feeling pretty lonely if I will be constantly left out of activities!
We do this every Feb, and last Feb when we went I was pregnant. I was around 11 weeks so puking every day. I still had a pretty good time,but it was a little annoying not being able to drink, go in the hot tubm etc! Hope you have fun!!! I still had a fun time!
thanks! We are trying to rent a cabin that allows dogs so at least they won't abandon me
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:52 PM |
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queensgal
Smile
Member since 4/09 3287 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
I don't want you all to think I keep DH locked up in a cage.
It's really only 2 things that bother me 1. Concerts - this is really due to the $$ (we went to 13 last year on purpose knowing we wouldn't be able to next year) but he already has tix to something in dec - I just don't want him at every show that comes to town
2. The wine example is prob selfish of me but it does bother me since we used to go out for italian almost every fri and get a bottle of wine. He still drinks whenever and whatever other than this - we were at 2 parties this weekend and it didn't bother me at all.
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| Posted 9/19/11 4:56 PM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Posted by queensgal
I don't want you all to think I keep DH locked up in a cage.
It's really only 2 things that bother me 1. Concerts - this is really due to the $$ (we went to 13 last year on purpose knowing we wouldn't be able to next year) but he already has tix to something in dec - I just don't want him at every show that comes to town
2. The wine example is prob selfish of me but it does bother me since we used to go out for italian almost every fri and get a bottle of wine. He still drinks whenever and whatever other than this - we were at 2 parties this weekend and it didn't bother me at all.
We don't! Don't worry
I dont blame you for the concerts. And as for the wine, I hear that's common!
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| Posted 9/19/11 5:01 PM |
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LoveMyHubby605
Our April Baby is here!
Member since 4/11 2418 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Posted by queensgal
I don't want you all to think I keep DH locked up in a cage.
It's really only 2 things that bother me 1. Concerts - this is really due to the $$ (we went to 13 last year on purpose knowing we wouldn't be able to next year) but he already has tix to something in dec - I just don't want him at every show that comes to town
2. The wine example is prob selfish of me but it does bother me since we used to go out for italian almost every fri and get a bottle of wine. He still drinks whenever and whatever other than this - we were at 2 parties this weekend and it didn't bother me at all.
i think the $$ thing is totally valid. That reminds me that I did limit DH recently. He wanted to buy new sunglasses and i put my foot down. they were 300+ and looks like every other pair he has. Normally I don't care what he does with his money but I couldn't keep my mouth shut on this one!
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| Posted 9/19/11 5:04 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
No, not really.
But in the beginning, for the first few weeks, when the changes felt much more dramatic I did ask him to make the changes with me for moral support. I really missed being able to have a drink at dinner, or even have a second cup of coffee in the morning, and watching him do those things in front of me was making it harder.
Once I got used to the changes I didn't care what he wanted to do.
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| Posted 9/19/11 5:11 PM |
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MrsCampos10-01-10
Jovani Edward is HERE!!!
Member since 10/10 2500 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Nope, doesn't bother me at all! Before pregnancy we would go out to dinner and have a few drinks and now I encourage him to drink without me.
Sure I rreeaally miss an ice cold Blue Moon on tap or a glass of pinot. But, oh well!
As far as $ goes, if he were spending a lot on partying, we'd have a problem!
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| Posted 9/19/11 6:01 PM |
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MrsCampos10-01-10
Jovani Edward is HERE!!!
Member since 10/10 2500 total posts
Name:
Jenna
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Posted by Bearcat
Yes. The following scenario is presently "unacceptable" in my book:
For him to go out in the city and get so drunk that he is incapable of finding his way home, leading him to get on any random LIRR train, then passing out on the train and winding up at some random station and calling me in the middle of the night begging me to come pick him up (this has happened at least 3 times over the past 9 years).
Other than that, he does what he wants.
O.M.G! I really LOL'd!
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| Posted 9/19/11 6:03 PM |
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Bearcat
Love my little girls!!! <3
Member since 6/10 10818 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
Posted by cateyemm
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by Bearcat
Yes. The following scenario is presently "unacceptable" in my book:
For him to go out in the city and get so drunk that he is incapable of finding his way home, leading him to get on any random LIRR train, then passing out on the train and winding up at some random station and calling me in the middle of the night begging me to come pick him up (this has happened at least 3 times over the past 9 years).
Other than that, he does what he wants.
thats my rule for life not pregnancy lol... i need to take my shoes off to count how many times this has happened...
omg the two of you are going to heaven.
ang i think he knows better than to pull a stunt like that after the baby arrives... at least i hope...
for now, he's still trying to get as much 'in' as he can, which sometimes means he acts like a frat boy.
also i want to add that now that i'm approaching the final weeks i ask him to remain local/not shizzfaced just incase it's go-time and he's out somewhere.
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| Posted 9/19/11 6:23 PM |
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memi7206
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2355 total posts
Name:
Due Dec 29th!!!!!
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Re: Do you limit DH or ask him not to do things?
not at all......its not his fault he cant be pregnant.
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| Posted 9/19/11 6:34 PM |
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