did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I hope this doesn't dissolve into a drama thread, I'm just looking for those who may have gone thru the same thing as me.
I am pumping but feel guilty for not nursing. Ive supplemented with formula a few times and hated every second. I feel like I'm not happy with any option I have to feed my kids.
Nursing takes too long, they're so little and dont have the experience latching yet. It takes me 5 minutes to pump about 3 ounces but I cant seem to make enough to get ahead and I'm stressed about whether they're getting enough. Ds hasnt really gained well. Plus they get confused with the bott le versus breast.
On the other hand I'm just getting by feeding them what they need and it seeems silly to introduce formula when im doing just ok by pumping.
Id appreciate it if you dont ask my why the heck am I torturing myself and just go to formula- for me that seems even bigger torture. Maybe I'm just a masochist at heart lol

Id like to be able to give them bm for at least while I'm out on maternity leave but right now I'm taking it day by day. Did anyone else have a similar experience? Tia

did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

First of all you are doing AMAZING, I wanted to ebf but my supply didn't come in right away and in the hospital even though Madison latched well she was working so hard tryi g to get milk and had trouble maintaining her body temperature so basically she was working to hard to eat and using all energy towards that instead of body temp ( sorry if doesn't make sense) so I started supplementing with formula she is 8weeks and I still breast and for,ula feed at every feeding. If I pump I get .5 ounce combined from both breasts and that takes 10mins so what you are pumping is AMAZING ( IMO)
Whatever you decide -- just pumping, nursing, or formula or whatever combination you decide will be great for your twins. Dont feel guilty about pumping or formula feeding! I kept telling myself
that every drop of bm was beneficial even if she just got a little.

Sorry I don't think I helped you at all

did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

yeah I disliked it.... but then I myself felt guilty, if I could make milk and give antibodies in flu season I felt I had to... when I started getting very cranky I weaned down - adding more formula. I still had supply but ultimately stopped when I went in hospital for surgery and didnt get engorged. I didnt feel like pumping to dump, I was in so much pain

did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

You should think about a lactation consultant - they can help with so many issues. I'm not saying it will make you like it, but it may help you produce more or nurse more easily. I saw one, and I remember her telling me not to introduce a bottle until a certain time (unless absolutely necessary) because it confuses the baby and they don't learn the proper latch.

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

First off, I'm certain this will end up a drama thread

To answer the question, I tortured myself for SIX MONTHS exclusively pumping for my older DC. I hated every minute of it.... I can honestly say it was the worst part of first time parenthood for me, worse than the sleep deprivation or overall lifestyle changes. So when I had my second DC, I did not even try. Formula from the moment she was born. I had SUCH a different experience parenting a newborn while formula feeding-- SO relaxing, SO much more bonding without all the dread and resentment. And she's healthy as a horse to boot!

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I tried breastfeeding for a week. DS wouldn't latch right and my nipples were bleeding and a mess! I was so frustrated but also felt so guilty giving him formula so I decided to pump. I pumped for 7 weeks until I got thrush. I was miserable pumping but hated the idea of giving formula. Once I made the decision to wean I felt so guilty but knew I couldn't do it anymore. Now that DS is on formula I wish I had given it to him from the beginning. I hated every minute of pumping was so much happier when I stopped. With #2 I will not even try. I am happy he got a few weeks of breast milk but for me it was not worth the stress,pain and tears!

I give you soooo much credit for trying with twins. it is one of the hardest things and the guilt that comes with it is so hard! No matter what you decide your baby will be fine and I firmly believe in the saying "happy mommy, happy baby"

did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I tried BF but DS was doing good and it was making me and him cranky.

I say do whatever makes you and the babies happy. Do not beat yourself up over any option. They need a happy mommy as much as they need milk. However you do it will be wonderful!!!!'

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

Thank you everyone
My problem is that I'm afraid switching to formula isnt going to make me any happier. At least now I'm miserable but not guilty lol

did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I think if i was going through what you are I would be miserable too. I hated the idea of having to supplement (even with bm) in part because of the extra work. If I were you, I think I would try to focus on having them latch and just nurse. I know it takes up a lot of time, but that will get better. As a newborn, DD went 40-60 minutes but that dropped to 30 then 20, then 15 over time. Now some feedings are only 5 minutes! If you can get them to latch and nurse well then you can cut down on pumping (I only did it 2-3 times a week tops although I only had one to worry about) not to mention the bottle feeding and bottle and pump washing.

Do you have much help? Nursing a newborn (or 2) is much easier when it's just about all you have to worry about. Try to minimize the cooking and cleaning and recruit lots of help with laundry, meals, diaper changes if you can. The more help you have the more you can focus on nursing and then taking care of yourself. I remember a friend's advice that if you felt like all you ever did was nurse then you were doing it right. It's true, but not for long. If you can get by without supplementing in the end I think it's less work. No matter what anyone else thinks or feels though, you have to do what's best for you! I think we all agree on that. No drama

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I recently posted a similar thread (breastfeeding woes) or something like that. I dislike breastfeeding and (pumping at work even more then that)t but have been doing it exclusively for the past 7 months along with a dairy free diet due to my DS's dairy protein intolerance.. I won't lie I stlil question my stuborness on a daily basis but for some reason can't see switching to formula yet despite my apparent misery at times with breastfeeding. People don't understand sometimes why I even bother BFng if I dislike it so much and honestly I don't have a good reason for them (other then something feels wrong when I think about switching to formula). Believe me I understand where you are coming from it is soooo hard (even doubly so with twins I'd imagine). Wishing you all the best in you decision and with your twins! Feel free to FM me with any questions/concerns :)

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

Me. Well, not hate but really really did not want to try it.

I FF my first 2, but for my last I BF for six months. I supplemented with formula from the start but I had a good supply and it honestly was pretty easy for me physically. However, I was uncomfortable mentally the entire time, I really did not enjoy it. The reason I did it is because I had read that BF could help prevent ear infections and my DS was tortured by these so I swore I would do anthing to try and prevent them for DD2.

I was surprised I made it six months considered I never wanted to BF at all. I even got the flu two weeks after she was born and still made it through. For someone with no committment to it and no desire, I was surprised

ETA: in thinking back, I didn't hate it while I was doing it. I was very uncomfortable thinking about it beforehand. During, I was better than I thought. I just didn't really enjoy like I know some women do. I didn't mind it, but I didn't love it. Does that make sense? As I said, I surprised myselfin how long I did it for and that I wasn't uncomfortable the entire 6 months.

Message edited 12/29/2012 10:12:12 PM.

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I Exclusive pumped for 6 weeks for one baby, 8 for the other.. she had eating/feeding issues. I agree with the PP that it was more stressful that any other piece of parenthood. When I look back and people ask me how I like(d) being a mom, my answer is, I didnt until I stopped bfeeding. Its terrible. I know. and honestly I cried often about switching to formula. I had mastitis twice and ended up with an antibiotic related illness while treating the mastitis. Aside from how sleep deprived I was trying to keep pumping every 2-3 hours and feeding each baby-they took an hour each to eat! It was pure hell. But like you I continued. In the end, I still wish I stuck it out longer for their benefit and If I went on to have another DC, Id try it again.. but I would try to nurse first. The fact that I had preemies made it difficult and thats what led me to pumping and ultimately hating the whole experience.

at3.5 months, I honestly dont think much about the fact that Im giving them formula anymore.. happy mommy=happy baby and I am SUCH a happy mommy!!

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

Me, sort of.

I have D-MER, which causes severe anxiety and depression whenever I have a let-down. That was bad enough. I had to go back to work at 11 weeks PP with DS, 10 weeks PP with DD, and I was a slave to the pump which I HATED so so much. Couldn't wait to get rid of that thing. I lasted 5 months with DS and 3 months with DD.

My supply was always good but if I could do it again, I think I'd go straight to formula. The idea of BFing again makes me want to cry.

Is breastmilk best? Sure, in clinical terms. Too bad doctors don't factor in the mother's mental health.

FWIW, my DS is almost never sick, and DD catches every cold that passes through town, so I don't think BFing had an effect there.

You are such a champ for really trying and sticking with this, and I'd never tell you to stop, but don't let GUILT be the reason you keep going.

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

Me, word for word....

In my case, I don't think I made "enough" for my DS. I had to start pumping at the beginning because my DS wasn't gaining enough and I needed to write down how much he was taking. Everyone (incl LC) would tell me that my body made enough and not to stress it. I felt like he was always starving and it wasn't until I started him on foods that I felt he was finally a satisfied baby. I never supplemented and DS had the milk protein allergy so it was really tough. Looking back now, I wish I took the pressure off myself and the whole BF experience. I am just weaning off my pump now as my DS turns 12 months. The guilt of stopping early kept me pumping until the very end (of my original timeline).

I am VERY proud of myself of course, but I feel like I might have been a much happier Mommy if I didn't have the pressure of pumping, stressing the amt I was pumping, cleaning parts, pumping in between work while my DS pulls on my pump parts and usually shuts my pump off midway

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I think you're amazing for doing what you're doing with twins!!! BFing is tough for the first few weeks. It definitely wasn't my favorite those first few weeks, but I had a strong desire to BF and I knew it would get better, which it did. After that, I loved it. So hopefully that will happen with you, but if not, do what is best for you and dont feel guilty. Any amount of BM is wonderful for your babies, so you already did a great job and you need to make sure you're not stressed out about it.

I tell people to give it until at least 6 weeks and then it really does get easier and convenient. I don't know if that's the same with twins, so do what is best for you!!!

You're amazing, mama!!

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

yes, kind of! i esp HATED it in the beginning, i was miserable. i stuck with it though b.c i am stubborn and then didn't want to bother with formula.
after 3/4 months i really grew to love it.
but i don't blame anyone for giving it up at any time. it is a huge sacrifice and is not for everyone!

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I'm not totally the person you're looking to hear from because I had difficulty with BFing, was miserable, and quit after a few days. I had terrible guilt giving DD formula and beat myself up about it for the first few weeks. I was sleep-deprived, overwhelmed, and really gave myself a hard time. Even though I only did it for a few days, I did miss the feeling of having DD at my breast, and felt some detachment initially using the bottle. That said, within a few weeks, I saw that DD was happy and thriving, and I stopped beating myself up over it. For me, I know it was the right decision. I'm not saying that you should stop BFing, but if you do make that decision, it WILL be okay. I truly believe that a happy mommy=happy baby. Good luck with whatever you decide!

did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I pumped for 4 months. She was still getting the breastmilk so it didn't matter to me that she wasn't actually feeding off of me. It was sooooo time consuming. Between sitting there pumping, cleaning the parts, waking up in the middle of the night to pump so my supply wouldn't run out, it's a lot of work. It was worth it, but I can't see how I am going to be able to do it again when I have another baby since I will have another child to tend to, so I am not sure I will be doing it for 4 months like with DD. I think if they latch easy, feeding off of you is prob easier than pumping, so hopefully that will be the case. But don't feel bad, you do what you have to do.

Message edited 12/30/2012 9:10:45 AM.

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I bf my son for 9 months then pumped for 3 more months. It was the most miserable time for me. I feel like I missed out on so much bcc was so consumed with bf and pumping. My son had a poor latch and I had alow supply so I had to pump or nurse every three hours.

With my daughter I nursd her for three months and then pumped for three. My husband told me to stop bc he aw me turning into what I was with my son. It didn't come easy to me as others moms. It was so natural for them and so much work for me. Once I switched to formula my life and the quality of my is life was so much better.

I feel like your sanity and happiness s more important that beast milk. I feel I have been such a better mommy once I stopped stressing.

If it came as easy to me and my kids I would bf until they stopped, but it was just too much. Even my lactation consultant saw how hard I was trying and how every little hurdle at could come with bf was happening to me.

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I could have written this post exactly myself a little less than 2 years ago. First off you said it best "take it day by day". I had my good days and days where I just cried!
Ill be honest I never liked it..I think when you are bfing twins you miss out on the bonding aspect. I tried all different ways bfing together, alone, just pumping and nothing really made happy. What I found helped me is I supplemented their last bottle of the day with formula and pumped while I fed them. I saved that milk to give me a "break" the next day if I needed it, if not I froze it for times I wanted to go out.
One day when they were 6 months I just said I couldn't do it anymore and started weaning that day. They were pikers and every feeding I was covered in breast milk. I felt horrible for a day or 2 and then I realized a happy mommy means a happy baby(babies).

You are an amazing mommy for whatever you do!!! Take it day by day..cry if you need to. While others may say bfing twins is not that hard..for me it was one of the hardest, selfless things I have ever done.

Hang in there

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

Posted by cateyemm

Thank you everyone
My problem is that I'm afraid switching to formula isnt going to make me any happier. At least now I'm miserable but not guilty lol

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

I have a love hate relationship with bf. Everyday I think it might be my last only to get up again and bf another day. I just hate being the only one that can feed her and how hard I have to work to pump enough to be away from her for a while. Me and DH are going out tonight and in order to make this happen I've been a slave t the pump since yesterday.

But I keep doing it because I know it's what's best for her.

I just can't wait to be done with BF.

Re: did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

Thanks for sharing, everyone.

did anyone dislike breastfeeding but do it anyway?

Honestly, in my experience, as soon as I saw my baby so content and full and sleeping peacefully and I could have DH also feed her, I began to sleep and feel amazing. I was no longer a slave to the couch. I slowly started getting my life back. That's when all the "guilt" went right out the window and FF helped me to return to a sense of normalcy and functionality.

ETA: I pumped and tried BF for 6 wk, and supplemented that whole time. It was just not for me

Message edited 12/30/2012 9:40:46 PM.