DH and lif

Last night DH told me that he thinks that I'm too obsessed with the TTC boards and that I should take a week off from them. (mind you, I check them regularly but its not like I'm on them 24-7)

I told him that the boards are primarily a support system from people who are in similar shoes as me. Whether I'm on LIF or just googling stuff, I'm still going to feel compelled to learn as much as I can about it. I'd rather be informed than not know, kwim- that could be even more dangerous.

But anyway... does your DH have an issue with you being on the boards? Do you think being on them causes any kind of mental distress?

Message edited 10/25/2011 12:24:02 AM.

Re: DH and lif

Shaun thinks im on the computer too much in general... but anway...

regardless of whether youre on LIF or NOT... or on FHF or Relationships in stead of TTC... youre still going to have PCOS... posting on TTC is not going to change that fact...

so i dont really understand his argument...

Re: DH and lif

Re: DH and lif

DH is a very private person. He was more concerned with people knowing our personal business. So in the beginning I had to be very careful what I wrote and responded to. As things started to get harder and harder for us, he started to understand that at times this site was my saving grace. He still likes me to be careful about what I post, but he doesn't seem to mind when I am on. But truth be told, I'm on a lot less now than when I first started TTC.

Re: DH and lif

Re: DH and lif

my DH has his own forums!! he's on a car forum way before i joined LIW..and he got used of me being on LIW that now that i'm on LIF its nothing new to him

i think the forums are good but it depends on how you're using it. Its a great way to vent, find out info and get support but if its a constant reminder that something is "wrong" with you then maybe it isnt a good thing for you at this time.

Re: DH and lif

dh doesnt really know the extent of my addiction but its really me that feels like its all a bit too much before ttc this time around i had no idea what a 2ww was,luteal phase was at all,etc. so i am stressing out so much more.when i got pregs with ds i did use an opk but that was it! just sat and waited didnt read too much into it! when i read all these posts i cant help but feel i have alot of support but at the same time i dont want to research so much bc it makes me ***** nuts but i am in too deep so youo guys are stuck with me for a while!

Re: DH and lif

My sister said the same thing...that I am on here too much and doing too much reading and probably stressing myself out. I sorta get her point but don't feel stressed at all. Only the 1st cycle I was hyper and way too eager and anxious during the 2WW, but I have calmed down a bit.

Re: DH and lif

My DH doesn't have an issue with it, but I have my own issue with it.

The women on here are so incredibly knowledgeable and having this as as a resource has been so very helpful, but I think we walk a fine line between having a healthy attitude about TTC and becoming all out obsessed.

For me, personally, limiting my time on these boards helps me keep a healthy attitude. TTC is just one aspect of my life and I don't want it to become all-consuming. I think it's a slippery slope especially if you've been trying for a few cycles. Spending too much time thinking about things like names for a baby I don't yet have, or imagining what physical characteristics he/she will have, or what the nursery might look like, and then getting a BFN cycle after cycle can lead you to a dark place. I'll do all those things when it's my time, but until then, thinking about it too much only makes this more stressful... and spending too much time on this board leads me to think about all these things entirely too much.

I come on here every few days just for a few minutes to for BFPs or to give for BFNs, or if I need specific information about the TTC process.

Re: DH and lif

I do see what he is saying in a way.

There were times where I needed a break from the boards, the TTC, MC etc boards mostly. But you can't come on here and not check all the reg boards you go to.

I just needed a break, to not have it be at the forefront. Sometimes putting a big issue on the back burner for a little while does help clear your mind and gather yourself back together a bit.

Being on boards that are a constant reminder of an issue or problem, that's just always throwing that problem in your face. Even though you get tremendous support from the boards.... that constant in your face can really start to get to you without you realizing it.

I'm not saying to leave the boards forever, but small breaks here and there, I think are healthy.

Also, I'm not saying the issues will vanish, because they won't but it will allow you to focus on something else for a little while instead of the current problem or situation.

This was all in specific relation to me... this was how I felt at times when I took breaks from posting....

Re: DH and lif

dh doesnt have any issue

i am on here a lot and recently I am having the same issues as you, with finding out about PCOS. I will say that recently it has been hard to see everything with the BFPs and on the pregnancy board (i can't help myself from lurking lol). While I am thrilled for everyone, it also reminds me that I may have difficulty getting to that point. The other day I was thinking about maybe being on here less so I dont have to be thinking about it constantly. On the other hand though, the ladies on here are all a huge source of support. I don't feel comfortable telling ppl IRL (besides dh, mom and a few very close friends) about the situation. While, the IRL ppl are very supportive they haven't gone through these issues so its nice to have ladies with experience to talk to.

I think you have to decide for yourself what is best. Maybe take a break from the boards for a little and see if that helps. If it does, then you know you need to spend less time here. If not, then come back!

Re: DH and lif

after 20k posts on lif..making a video for twoty..being a part of it..dh really had no say in me coming on here now

but ive told him how helpful these boards have been and how any questions u guys have answered and how great it is just to have someone else who understands...esp when i have my down days and he is actually grateful

but in saying all that we r very friendly with lots of couples who were on liw now on lif so he also thinks im just chatting with our friends

Re: DH and lif

Once again, people don't understand that when you talk about YOURSELF you really are only talking about YOURSELF and not JUDGING anyone.

Opinions are like azzholes, everyone's got one, but I'm still free to post it.

Message edited 11/10/2010 6:36:54 PM.

Re: DH and lif

Re: DH and lif

Posted by MrsKS

Posted by heathergirl

So, you won't see me on the TTC boards even when I am TTC...

Haha! not true... I see you on the TTC board now....



haha! I mean no harm... just teasing....

Re: DH and lif

Posted by heathergirl

I
So, you won't see me on the TTC boards even when I am TTC...I know my opinion may not be popular, but I have to be honest in how I feel. to all and I wish you all the best!

Re: DH and lif

Posted by Bearcat

Posted by heathergirl

I
So, you won't see me on the TTC boards even when I am TTC...I know my opinion may not be popular, but I have to be honest in how I feel. to all and I wish you all the best!

Re: DH and lif

Posted by MrsKS

Posted by heathergirl

So, you won't see me on the TTC boards even when I am TTC...

Haha! not true... I see you on the TTC board now....



haha! I mean no harm... just teasing....

Re: DH and lif

Posted by DiamondGirl


Also I don't think it is fair to say that until you have been in the position of trying and not getting a BFP...

We have not started TTC yet so I have no idea HOW I will be if after TTC a while I do not have a BFP....

Re: DH and lif

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by MrsKS

Posted by heathergirl

So, you won't see me on the TTC boards even when I am TTC...

Haha! not true... I see you on the TTC board now....



haha! I mean no harm... just teasing....

Also I don't think it is fair to say that until you have been in the position of trying and not getting a BFP...

We have not started TTC yet so I have no idea HOW I will be if after TTC a while I do not have a BFP....

Message edited 11/10/2010 5:55:30 PM.

Re: DH and lif

Posted by heathergirl


Just how I personally feel and it is fine for others to feel differently Neither way is wrong or right, I just have a different approach. And please don't presume that I know nothing about TTC and BFPs and all that jazz

Message edited 11/10/2010 6:02:20 PM.

Re: DH and lif

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by heathergirl


Just how I personally feel and it is fine for others to feel differently Neither way is wrong or right, I just have a different approach. And please don't presume that I know nothing about TTC and BFPs and all that jazz

I am not trying to say you know nothing about TTC and BFP's

But since you said you have not been TTC yet, is it fair to assume you "wont become obsessed?" I am just trying to say that I bet many girls never thought they would "become obsessed" with TTC....in other words some things you have to live through before you can say how you'll be.

Message edited 11/10/2010 6:13:24 PM.

Re: DH and lif

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by heathergirl


Just how I personally feel and it is fine for others to feel differently Neither way is wrong or right, I just have a different approach. And please don't presume that I know nothing about TTC and BFPs and all that jazz

I am not trying to say you know nothing about TTC and BFP's

But since you said you have not been TTC yet, is it fair to assume you "wont become obsessed?" I am just trying to say that I bet many girls never thought they would "become obsessed" with TTC....in other words some things you have to live through before you can say how you'll be.

Message edited 11/10/2010 6:13:47 PM.

Re: DH and lif

Posted by heathergirl

Posted by DiamondGirl

Posted by heathergirl


Just how I personally feel and it is fine for others to feel differently Neither way is wrong or right, I just have a different approach. And please don't presume that I know nothing about TTC and BFPs and all that jazz

I am not trying to say you know nothing about TTC and BFP's

But since you said you have not been TTC yet, is it fair to assume you "wont become obsessed?" I am just trying to say that I bet many girls never thought they would "become obsessed" with TTC....in other words some things you have to live through before you can say how you'll be.

I stated we were thinking about it, clearly that means I am not allowed to post unless I am actively trying. The OP used the word obsessed. I am not saying anyone here is obsessed. I never called anyone out for being obsessed. I personally stated how I feel about MY TTC process and what I feel I will or will not do based on the way I already live my life and the perspective I follow in living my life. I did not say anyone was wrong for doing anything.

Everyone can feel however they want. I am in no way judging anyone for doing anything. I merely stated my own personal opinion regarding myself.

Re: DH and lif

Posted by heathergirl

Just how I personally feel and it is fine for others to feel differently Neither way is wrong or right, I just have a different approach. And please don't presume that I know nothing about TTC and BFPs and all that jazz