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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
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Am I wrong? Nanny related
When we hired our nanny, our discussion about vacation time was that she got vacation when we took it. It is completely paid and we take about 2-3 weeks a year. We also give her off WITH pay for the bank holidays - New Years Day, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, etc... - we even throw in the Friday after Thanksgiving as well and we pay her for that too.
Since the start of the year she has had to take a bunch of personal days - I would say between 5 and 6 and we have always paid her for that.
It's getting to be a little excessive now so we've told her that if she wants to take a day off during the week that she will "owe" us another day during the weekend. She was not happy and said that she cannot work any weekends until August.
DH has asked her to come back this Sunday to help him since he'll be alone with both kids because I'll be away. She said no. We have our daugther's baby naming in July which we invited her to- as a guest. She said no.
Now she wants Monday, July 5th off. I told her no. If she isn't willing to be flexible with us then we can't be either. If she wants to day off, she will have to take it without pay.
Am I wrong? I feel like we are more than fair. She also told me that her nanny friends get 1-2 weeks vacation time of their choice. I told her she does get 2-3 weeks vacation paid but when we hired her THREE years ago she knew the deal - she should have spoken up if she had a problem about it.
Am I wrong?
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Posted 6/22/10 12:48 PM  |
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CookiePuss
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
I will say...with our old nanny...she got 3 weeks vacation...1 week(4 days) was to use at her discretion whether it be vacation or personal time and 2 weeks were at our discretion.
If the previous days off were for things other then emergencies or sickness and just needed for personal reasons, then no, I don't think you are being unfair.
As far as July 5th, it is a bank holiday since that is when 4th of July is observed so I think you are wrong in this instance but not as far as upcoming days that she directs to be off. Does that make sense?
ETA: I said 4 days because she worked a 4 day work week.
Message edited 6/22/2010 12:56:33 PM.
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| Posted 6/22/10 12:53 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
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me
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
I don't think you were wrong.
Were personal days/unpaid days discussed?
Did you discussed how many personal days she could have?
Was it discussed that it would take away from her vacation?
5-6 days IS excessive. That's 1 additional day every month. That's a lot!
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| Posted 6/22/10 12:53 PM |
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BethanyLynn
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Member since 10/09 6295 total posts
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Bethany
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by shamrock124
IIf the previous days off were for things other then emergencies or sickness and just needed for personal reasons, then no, I don't think you are being unfair.
As far as July 5th, it is a bank holiday since that is when 4th of July is observed so I think you are wrong in this instance.
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I agree- July 5th should be off. As far as her using all those personal days...she should not have been paid or it should have been deducted from vacation. Since you were generous enough to pay her, she should agree to help out on weekends if she can
Message edited 6/22/2010 12:59:07 PM.
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| Posted 6/22/10 12:57 PM |
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Jonsgirl04
Love my two girls! xoxo
Member since 9/08 6079 total posts
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Stephanie
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
I dont use a nanny but my friend does. She has 3 weeks vacation that she can use when she wants. 5 business or personnel days and she gives her 12 sick days for the year. My friend is very fair to her Nanny. She also is giving her the 5th of July off because of the holiday being on a Sunday.
Oh and when she is sick she does provide a drs note if out for more than 2 days.
Message edited 6/22/2010 1:03:06 PM.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:01 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Unpaid days were discussed in that if she needed a day for a drs appt or something important, then just please do that on a day that I worked from home.
We asked her if she could get her driver's license and she told us she would. So she took some personal days to do things for that - no problem. But she has also taken off for other things like she had to go get her mom from the airport, or she needed to pick up medication..... I mean things are pretty valid. Except we've also given her probably 2 days when she wanted to leave on a Thursday adn take Friday off to go down to MD for the weekend....
I think I'm feeling bad bc July 5th is a bank holida but I'm so sick of her asking for days and not giving anyting back in return. For the record, we have never docked her pay - ever. Even when she just wanted an extra vacation day.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:02 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by Jonsgirl04
I dont use a nanny but my friend does. She has 3 weeks vacation that she can use when she wants. 5 business or personnel days and she gives her 12 sick days for the year. My friend is very fair to her Nanny. She also is giving her the 5th of July off because of the holiday being on a Sunday.
Oh and when she is sick she does provide a drs note if out for more than 2 days.
That's a nice deal however, we didn't agree to that when she was hired. And we have always given her the day after the holiday off like July 5th or if Christmas is on a thursdayt, we give her off that friday too. But I'm just done with her taking and not giving us any extra help when we need it.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:04 PM |
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Peainapod
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Diana
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
The 5th should be given off b/c thats when the holiday is observed technically since the 4th is a sunday.
However, you are totally fair on the other points. And considering that she has already been paid for other days off this year, asking for the July 5th isnt totally unreasonable.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:04 PM |
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BethanyLynn
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Member since 10/09 6295 total posts
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Bethany
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by Merf99
Unpaid days were discussed in that if she needed a day for a drs appt or something important, then just please do that on a day that I worked from home.
We asked her if she could get her driver's license and she told us she would. So she took some personal days to do things for that - no problem. But she has also taken off for other things like she had to go get her mom from the airport, or she needed to pick up medication..... I mean things are pretty valid. Except we've also given her probably 2 days when she wanted to leave on a Thursday adn take Friday off to go down to MD for the weekend....
I think I'm feeling bad bc July 5th is a bank holida but I'm so sick of her asking for days and not giving anyting back in return. For the record, we have never docked her pay - ever. Even when she just wanted an extra vacation day.
I can understand you feeling like she is taking advantage, I would give her the 5th off but tell her that any further time for personal things must be either unpaid or she has to come on a weekend.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:04 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by shamrock124
I will say...with our old nanny...she got 3 weeks vacation...1 week(4 days) was to use at her discretion whether it be vacation or personal time and 2 weeks were at our discretion.
If the previous days off were for things other then emergencies or sickness and just needed for personal reasons, then no, I don't think you are being unfair.
As far as July 5th, it is a bank holiday since that is when 4th of July is observed so I think you are wrong in this instance but not as far as upcoming days that she directs to be off. Does that make sense?
ETA: I said 4 days because she worked a 4 day work week.
Just curious when she took vacation, what did you do for childcare when you worked? We don't have the option of having someone else help us and I certainly can't take off extra time from work.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:05 PM |
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Jonsgirl04
Love my two girls! xoxo
Member since 9/08 6079 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by Merf99
Posted by Jonsgirl04
I dont use a nanny but my friend does. She has 3 weeks vacation that she can use when she wants. 5 business or personnel days and she gives her 12 sick days for the year. My friend is very fair to her Nanny. She also is giving her the 5th of July off because of the holiday being on a Sunday.
Oh and when she is sick she does provide a drs note if out for more than 2 days.
That's a nice deal however, we didn't agree to that when she was hired. And we have always given her the day after the holiday off like July 5th or if Christmas is on a thursdayt, we give her off that friday too. But I'm just done with her taking and not giving us any extra help when we need it.
Yes you are being fair! ITA if you are given her time off paid or extra days here and there then she absoultley should give you the extra help. I would be angry as well if she never gave extra help.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:06 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
I think you have to give her July 5th if you told her you give her bank holidays, it IS the bank holiday this year.
Besides that, no, I don't think you are wrong
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:07 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by KateDevine
I think you have to give her July 5th if you told her you give her bank holidays, it IS the bank holiday this year.
Besides that, no, I don't think you are wrong
Thanks for the opinions! I will talk to DH about this. He is just so angry with her - I mean we have other issues with her as well.
I'll see if we give her off paid July 5th but going forward any personal days will have to be unpaid. Not sure if DH will go for that since he's so angry but we'll see.....
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:12 PM |
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KateDevine
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by Merf99
Posted by KateDevine
I think you have to give her July 5th if you told her you give her bank holidays, it IS the bank holiday this year.
Besides that, no, I don't think you are wrong
Thanks for the opinions! I will talk to DH about this. He is just so angry with her - I mean we have other issues with her as well.
I'll see if we give her off paid July 5th but going forward any personal days will have to be unpaid. Not sure if DH will go for that since he's so angry but we'll see.....
I think that July 5th can be your last good faith effort to making things work. IF she abuses things further then that's it....
I do think she sounds like she will be a little fussy if you don't give her off the 5th, especially since EVERYONE else will have it off (including you and DH, correct?)
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:13 PM |
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2boys4me
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Member since 4/10 4260 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
I am currently a nanny so I can def relate. Here is my situation...
The kids I watch, their parents are divorced and they live with their dad. On the days that their mom decides to take them for the day (usually with no notice) or on days that their dad just doesn't want to go to work or comes home early from work then I am off the whole day or early and I still get paid for those. Also, when they go on vacation for a week, I get vacation on their schedule but get paid for it. I have taken probably about 2 sick days and 1 personal day in the 2 years that I worked there. As long as I'm not contagious, I work through it, although going through my first trimester earlier in the year def was a challenge but hey, I needed to work.
All the holidays he gets off from work, I get off from work and get paid.
That's my situation... I think you are going above and beyond for this girl. Especially since you told her that that was the deal when she started working. I think that your deal is great but if she didn't agree then she didn't have to take the job.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:15 PM |
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Belladonna219
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Member since 2/07 2642 total posts
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Belladonna219
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
I agree with previous poster, July 5th is a bank holiday so she should be off. I think you are more then fair with her paid vacation time. As for the weekend situation and her owing you days I dont think that is fair esp if working on a weekend was not part of any original agreement. With our old nanny she was given 2 weeks paid vacation, 5 paid personal days and bank holidays off and paid. Any additional days requested off she was NOT paid and she was given a document noting all of this so there was no confusion. Perhaps she is taking advantage of you since you do pay her for all the days she is taking off.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:17 PM |
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jambalady
Is it summer yet?
Member since 8/06 7392 total posts
Name:
Holly
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
You are not wrong.
You had an ongoing arrangement with her so she knew the deal.
I would give her July 5th off and make it clear that any future personal days will be unpaid.
Then for next year, if you decide to keep her, set aside a fair number of sick/personal days that are paid, and let her know that anything beyond those will be unpaid or she has to make it up another day.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:21 PM |
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nrthshgrl
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Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
If it were me, I would give her the choice, either work July 5th or get docked for excess personal days. She should not be paid for any personal days off going forward.
For the record, an employer does have the legal right to change hours - and of course, the employee has the right to leave if those hours don't work. I'd be prepared with a backup in case she bails on you.
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:25 PM |
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GinaBeana
LIF Infant
Member since 1/08 171 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
You are definitely going above and beyond for this girl! Your husband has every right to be angry with her, as she is taking advantage of your niceness. You have been so flexible with her but she's not with you!
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:32 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by Belladonna219
I agree with previous poster, July 5th is a bank holiday so she should be off. I think you are more then fair with her paid vacation time. As for the weekend situation and her owing you days I dont think that is fair esp if working on a weekend was not part of any original agreement. With our old nanny she was given 2 weeks paid vacation, 5 paid personal days and bank holidays off and paid. Any additional days requested off she was NOT paid and she was given a document noting all of this so there was no confusion. Perhaps she is taking advantage of you since you do pay her for all the days she is taking off.
Just to also make that clear, when we hired her we told her that if she needed a personal day off, occasionally we would ask her to work a weekend day.
Let me tell you though - she has had more than enough time off and I think this year she has helped us on TWO weekend days! One was when I had a baby!! And the other was for a wedding and she came to my house around 1 pm and was done by 7 pm. So I don't think we really ask for too too much.
I totally understand that she only has 2 days off a week - and one of those days she doesn't want to spend with my kids. Totally understandable! But there are times that I have to work a day on teh weekend here or there and I suck it up.... And ESP since this was all outlined - none of this is news to her!
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:33 PM |
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2boys4me
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
I forgot to add that since I get a lot of paid days off for when their mom takes them or when he takes off, that when he asks me to work a Saturday... which is rare... I do it, and do not get paid for it and I don't have a problem with it
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| Posted 6/22/10 1:48 PM |
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CookiePuss
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by Merf99
Posted by shamrock124
I will say...with our old nanny...she got 3 weeks vacation...1 week(4 days) was to use at her discretion whether it be vacation or personal time and 2 weeks were at our discretion.
If the previous days off were for things other then emergencies or sickness and just needed for personal reasons, then no, I don't think you are being unfair.
As far as July 5th, it is a bank holiday since that is when 4th of July is observed so I think you are wrong in this instance but not as far as upcoming days that she directs to be off. Does that make sense?
ETA: I said 4 days because she worked a 4 day work week.
Just curious when she took vacation, what did you do for childcare when you worked? We don't have the option of having someone else help us and I certainly can't take off extra time from work.
Well, I had 3 weeks of vacation time so when she took her time when she wanted, I took vacation time. That is what I did for sick days too...used my sick time when she called in although she did it maybe twice and she was with me for 3 years.
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| Posted 6/22/10 2:43 PM |
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SweetTooth
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Lauren
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
I think you should tell her she has a set number of personal days, and if she exceeds that, she can either make it up on a weekend or take no pay for that day.
I do not agree she should be expected to work weekends if she misses a day during the week. She should have the option. She should also have July 5th off.
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| Posted 6/22/10 2:57 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by SweetTooth
I think you should tell her she has a set number of personal days, and if she exceeds that, she can either make it up on a weekend or take no pay for that day.
I do not agree she should be expected to work weekends if she misses a day during the week. She should have the option. She should also have July 5th off.
If she missess a day during the week because she wants to leave early for her weekend in MD, then should she get docked pay? I've never done that.
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| Posted 6/22/10 3:32 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Am I wrong? Nanny related
Posted by Merf99
Posted by SweetTooth
I think you should tell her she has a set number of personal days, and if she exceeds that, she can either make it up on a weekend or take no pay for that day.
I do not agree she should be expected to work weekends if she misses a day during the week. She should have the option. She should also have July 5th off.
If she missess a day during the week because she wants to leave early for her weekend in MD, then should she get docked pay? I've never done that.
If she doesn't want to make up the time, then yes.
In the end, I think you are better off looking for a new nanny. I know it's an incredibly painful process but she is obviously not working out - cutting out early, calling out, etc & expecting to get paid for it. I know my employer wouldn't allow it.
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| Posted 6/22/10 3:39 PM |
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