Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

If it was said in a sweet admiring way I would not be offended, but every now and then my brother and other family members call Emmy fat and that p*sses me off. I know it's weird for them when they have not seen her for awhile because of the fact that she was such a peanut when she was born, but what do they want me to do skim the fat off my bm so she loses a few pounds I just think people don't always see how it can effect people. I'm proud of my burrito baby and am thrilled she is thriving. It was a real concern since she was so small and a preemie. Like I said I think it's all in how and what you say. A friend has a baby that is 1 month younger then Emmy and is bigger then her so I will say OMG he's so big! Look at that long body, those long arms and legs. He's going to be tall. This is a way for me to speak the truth he is a big baby, but that doesn't always mean fat IMHO

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

DC were on the thin side, so we never experienced it, but I think it would bother me. Especially since my whole family, and DW's family have weight issues. To me, I don't see how the term "chubbawub" could be endearing. It sounds like a term school children would use to tease an overweight classmate.

"Oh, I love those cheeks!" is much more endearing, and doesn't specifically point out any weight issues, good or bad....

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

People say much worse things than Chubbawuba

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

My twins are both in the 95th and OVER percentile in height and weight. One of them, Nicholas, has an off-the-chart head circumference, also (which I'm nervous about and posted previously about it).

Anyway, I've had NUMEROUS people make comments on what big boys they are and most of the time, it doesn't bother me....but one salesgirl in a shoe store said, "come here chunky baby" to Christopher....not once, but TWICE and I got pretty twisted. I said, "we don't make comments about their weight" and she said, "well my daughter is a year old and not that big" or something like that. I made a complaint to corporate and received a gift card in the mail!

So yeah, comments about weight bug me.

Message edited 3/24/2010 8:09:15 AM.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

i get this alllll the time with DS. He is a big boy. I get it. He was 8bs at birth (2 weeks early), but was soon in the 95th+ %ile for both height and weight.

It certainly doesn't make me happy, but my usual reply is "he's a big boy. going to play football like his daddy...". I mean, come on, I'm not pointing out your giant azz, why do it to my kid?

What bothers me MORE is when people say, "good thing he's not a girl! poor thing would have a lifetime of struggle ahead of her." REALLY? And yes, we get that too. Usually from older women.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

Posted by Shorty
What bothers me MORE is when people say, "good thing he's not a girl! poor thing would have a lifetime of struggle ahead of her." REALLY? And yes, we get that too. Usually from older women.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

I'm not sure it would bother me much but my DD is very tiny so I can't really relate. I will say that I can totally see how someone would take offense. Not only are you kinda calling their kid fat but you are comparing to your own child. I don't think you mean it maliciously but I can see how it may rub someone the wrong way.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

I think it depends on a few things. While my son has a chubby face and arms and legs, hes so skinny that you see his ribs lol, but people always tell me he's "huge." Yes he is 95% for height and 60% for weight, so yeah he's a big boy and I LOVE it! So it doesn't bother me when people say those things.

But I think it might be insulting to someone if they hear it ALL the time. Maybe there ped. is making them uncomfortable with there DC weight, or a grandparent, or anybody else, so they know become sensitive to these comments. Not because you are trying to be insulting, but because other people are, so they assume everyone is kwim?

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

I wouldn't say I would be offended but I would be bothered by it. My first DD was in the 90th percentile for weight and had roll after roll on her legs. I thought they were so cute but person after person commented on it such as:

"she must never miss a meal"
"where do find clothes that fit her"
"she must have some appetite - how much do you feed her"
"hopefully she thins out when she starts walking"

I started to get really sensitive about it - especially since they're talking about my 6 month old daughter. I try to never make a comment on how big or small a child is because they've probably heard it a million times before.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

No- I would not find that insulting. When my neighbor told me my 2 month old was "getting fat"- that I didn't like.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

It would bother me only bc DD was a big baby (9.7) and people made comments ALL the time on how big she was. It just got old and was annoying to hear over and over again. But I also was able to realize that most people didn't mean any harm. It was more annoying to hear the comments from family, then from strangers.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

It's a tough one, you did not mean it rudely at all, but may be borderline innappropriate to say that to a stranger's baby.

Put it this way...if you had the chubby baby, and saw a tiny baby, would you say.."Wow..he is 6 months, looks so much younger...so tiny." It is kind of the same thing.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

I'm sure you didn't mean any harm but I will be in the real minority here and say yes, it would bother me BIG time. DD was always a bigger baby in the 75-90th % for height and weight and I have heard it all - she looks um, healthy, she doesn't miss a meal, look how big she is, etc.... It used to piss me off big time and I just find it rude to comment on a baby's weight. But again, most prbably don't feel the way I do. And I think people that do, are the ones who had bigger babies.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

no and if you are, they need to get a grip.

unless you said "damn lady, that is one FAT baby" as if the baby was disgusting to you, I just can't see it.

btw, luce has a gap onesie that says "chubby" and gives the definition. I LOVE it!

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

Actually, yes that would annoy me from a stranger or my mil, from a friend no. I agree with your dh.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

I'll be honest and say that I would be insulted. It has been said to me about DS and while I think being a chunky munky is cute, I don't want anyone else saying it about DS! JMO

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

my rule of thumb is that if I have to question whether something I say or do is going to be misinterpreted, I dont go forth with doing it. I think what you said has the "potential" to make some people upset. Not sure how I would feel but I felt dd was really adorable so thats all that mattered at the time.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

I would think you were calling my baby fat and that would cause major anxiety for me. But I have tons of weight/body issues. Personally, i wouldn't call a baby anything "chub" related. You know how high strung new Mommies can be.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?

As someone who had a chubby baby boy its not that your comment is offensive necessarily, but I did get sick of people telling me how big he was or how chubby he was.

Re: Am I insulting people and not even knowing it?