05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

I don't know what I want to do, and I'm starting to feel so pressured...

I went off my pill last month- and just avoided DH whenever I thought I should...

I didn't plan to really try until the end of this month- but today I ran to CVS and filled my RX of birth control pills...

I know I want more kids- actually 2 more ideally... but I am also really enjoying it being just the 3 of us, ESPECIALLY since DS is older and can do things for himself- communicate and play with us...

The entire time I was on vacation I kept thinking, how much more difficult it would be if I had an infant with me...

I really would love to lose the 20lbs Im still carrying with me from DS (although Im wondering if its ever gonna happen)

I wanted to have bought a house before baby #2- but again- not sure when thats gonna happen...

DH wanted our children close in age (like 2 yrs apart) and Ive already pushed almost 3.5 yrs apart- so he is def. getting antsy...

Although my apt. is beautiful and pretty big- its just a 2 bdrm- and while it is doable- to me its not ideal...

I could easily move to a townhouse/condo of 3 bdrms- but that'll be that much less $$$ Id be saving for a house..

Erggghhh- Im such a mess- please tell me Im not the only one

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

girl, you speak my language.
I am so unbelievably torn and DH doesn't help one bit.

His job was unstable last year (laughably so) and I am experiencing some instability (for me at least) being a freelancer. We bought a house last year, but that makes me more fearful...mortgage, two kids in daycare...

We always said 3-4 years apart, but now I just don't know. we are definitely looking at 4-5 now...and I can't say it's a bad thing. I LOVE our life now...we sleep (well, with molars it's been hard), she plays independently, we go out, she communicates, she's fun, we're an awesome threesome...I can't imagine throwing a newborn into the mix, BUT I can't imagine waiting too long and then starting all over again.

It's harder this time around I feel.

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

You have one thing alot of us here don't have and that's plenty of time. Don't feel pressured at all. You have to do what feels right. I am here if you need to chat

Message edited 2/4/2008 5:53:44 PM.

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

Posted by BlessedMommy

You have one thing alot of us here don't have and that's plenty of time. Don't feel pressured at all. You have to do what feels right. I am here if you need to chat

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

I felt the same way you did. But in the end we looked at it as:

We can save and have more for the babies, but in the long run we knew we'd never be happy about the money we'd save. We'd just say hey we saved XXX amount, think about how much more we can save for the babies if we wait some more. Let wait.

Truly speaking, most people will never be as financially ready as they'd like to have kids. I also look at it this way, so man other people in the world have done this so I guess I can too!

Well long story even longer....
DS and DD 29 months apart.
DD to DS 17 months apart.

Go with your heart-you can never go wrong with that. Family is the best thing to invest in.

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

I have three and they are all about 2.5 years apart. At each one I didn't think I was ready and felt the money strain.....it always seems to work out in the end. Do with what you feel is right for you and lots of luck.

Message edited 2/4/2008 7:21:13 PM.

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

Well we obviously know what my decision was. But for me it ultimately came down to I will be 36 when this one is born AND I didn't want DD to be an only child, otherwise quite frankly I would not be ready yet. I am enjoying her now for all the same reasons you listed Marissa. For me its also that I am basically a single parent m-f at night as my dh is during the day and I don't know how I will do it with 2 and keep up with my job but I guess I will make it work.

Mar, search your heart.

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

I feel this way alots\.. DD was 2 in Dec and we are debating what to do also... We dont want DD to be an only child and I want my body back so to speak and I havent had a good night sleep yet so why change it now.. All the pros and the cons I too am enjoying our little family and I am now working 4 days a week DH watches DD during the day but he barely makes it hes so tired and to add one more I think may put him over the edge with no sleep... I dont know but I feel so much pressure too because I dont want them that far apart.... HELP US PLEASE

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

my second and third are 4 years apart and i love this age difference!! they are still very very close to each other and it gave me time to spend with him just as a baby! Good luck! theres never a perfect time for a baby IMO... there's always something you can think of that you can be doing better before the baby. You will love having two!! go for it!

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

I had been trying so it if happened it happened. When it didn't happen that month I was ok because I kept going back and forth if I really wanted another baby. Well after a few months it didn't happen I didn't know how much longer we would try. Well God had a different plan for me because the 1 month we didn't try, it happened. (I had no clue when I was ovulating that month) This baby is due a few days before Hayley's 3rd birthday.

It scares me because I won't be able to work as much as I do now because who wants to watch a baby and a toddler (my SIL watches Hayley now) and if I put them in daycare there goes my paycheck so why bother working. And it also scares me because I am starting all over again...up every few hours for feedings, will I be able to manage 2 kids and go out, will Hayley be really jealous of the new baby?

My friend is having her 2nd baby now and her son is 6...talk about starting over again....lol

I wouldn't worry too much about the age difference, do what is right for your family.

Message edited 2/5/2008 8:50:17 AM.

Re: 05' mommies- Im so confused about TTC

there is no perfect age difference between siblings. You have to do what's right for your family. If they are 4 years apart then so be it. If they are 2 or 3 years apart, that's fine too. It's whatever works for you guys!
That is the bottom line.

My Dd is 7 years older than DD #2. it was just the way it happened, i couldn't help it.
Now Dd #2 and DD #3 will be less than a year apart. Most families would never want that. But we did b/c it works for us.