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Re: eta for quasi3 : if i DON'T register..is it still tacky?
Posted by quasi3
Crashing
I am invited to a sprinkle for someone who is having baby number 2, 2 years apart. I declined the initiation.
I will bring a gift to the house after the baby is born.
I voted tacky. I never really understood why someone would have a second shower or sprinkle - no matter how far apart their children are.
Some of the responses make me 
If you are pregnant then you should be ready to purchase all the items that your child would need and not depend on the generosity of others.
I believe it is very nervy to expect people to purchase you a double stroller or other items including clothing YOUR child.
If someone wants to come to your house with gifts that is one thing but throwing or having a "shower/sprinkle" for gifts is very nervy.
Listen, I am sure you didn't mean to sound as rude as you did in your response, and maybe it's just my hormones, but cool it.
First off, I NEVER mentioned even registering in my post. I asked if a sprinkle/shower was tacky.
I don't need gifts, or "expect people to purchase a double stroller" for my child. All I wanted was a celebration, as last time, my MIL went nuts and invited most of her family, and I ended up with only 4 relatives of my own.
In fact, I was going to have it at my house and have a catered party.
You wrote that throwing a "shower/sprinkle" for gifts is nervy. I never said it was for gifts, either!
Most of the time, it is NOT for gifts. Most soon-to-be-mommies just want to celebrate their baby on the way. That's all. Some silly games, a cake, loved ones. That's all.
You "declined the initation" (but I think you meant invitation).. all because someone invited you to a baby shower for a 2nd child?
You, as a guest, do not have to buy anything, let alone anything off of the registry. Homemade cookies, a plant, or a craft you made is just as nice, but the best thing would be you simply attending as loved one.
But, I will assume that the reason you don't want to go is because you dislike the person or something. I'm going to try to not think you're just being spiteful.
And if you were being spiteful, you're just the kind of person who no future mommy would want in attendance.
People graduated from high school, then college, then grad school. Are they only allowed to have one party?
People get married 2, 3, maybe 4 times. Are they only allowed one wedding?
Bottom line is, I NEVER asked about registering. I didn't intend to at all. I also didn't intend to "depend on the generosity of others"
Please don't assume people invite you just to get a gift. I believe you are not a fellow mommy, as I tried to find out before I responded, and if you did the same before your seemingly-rude response, perhaps you would have been a bit softer.
A week or two ago I was ready to jump off a bridge. Then I got excited after the shock wore off, and was happy about my little surprise. Realizing I had lots of loved ones who were happy made me think of the love for an unborn child at a shower. And you can't register for, wrap, or put a bow on love.
I'm sorry you won't attend the baby shower you were invited too. I know they are annoying. The games, that silly hat, the cheesiness. As much as you will never understand why people have showers or sprinkles, I will never understand why someone wouldn't attend just because they feel it's less significant because it's not the first baby.
If you ever have kids, (perhaps you would like one, or two one day), I hope you have as many as you want. And I hope you have a celebration for each of them. It doesn't always have to do with registering.
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Posted 8/9/10 6:57 PM  |
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Re: A poll..tacky - even if I don't register?? EDITED for Quasi3
Message edited 8/9/2010 7:14:17 PM.
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| Posted 8/9/10 7:13 PM |
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tara73
carseat nerd
Member since 11/09 3669 total posts
Name:
Buttercup
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
Posted by speakthetruth
Listen, I am sure you didn't mean to sound as rude as you did in your response, and maybe it's just my hormones, but cool it.
First off, I NEVER mentioned even registering in my post. I asked if a sprinkle/shower was tacky.
I don't need gifts, or "expect people to purchase a double stroller" for my child. All I wanted was a celebration, as last time, my MIL went nuts and invited most of her family, and I ended up with only 4 relatives of my own.
In fact, I was going to have it at my house and have a catered party.
You wrote that throwing a "shower/sprinkle" for gifts is nervy. I never said it was for gifts, either!
Most of the time, it is NOT for gifts. Most soon-to-be-mommies just want to celebrate their baby on the way. That's all. Some silly games, a cake, loved ones. That's all.
You "declined the initation" (but I think you meant invitation).. all because someone invited you to a baby shower for a 2nd child?
You, as a guest, do not have to buy anything, let alone anything off of the registry. Homemade cookies, a plant, or a craft you made is just as nice, but the best thing would be you simply attending as loved one.
But, I will assume that the reason you don't want to go is because you dislike the person or something. I'm going to try to not think you're just being spiteful.
And if you were being spiteful, you're just the kind of person who no future mommy would want in attendance.
People graduated from high school, then college, then grad school. Are they only allowed to have one party?
People get married 2, 3, maybe 4 times. Are they only allowed one wedding?
Bottom line is, I NEVER asked about registering. I didn't intend to at all. I also didn't intend to "depend on the generosity of others"
Please don't assume people invite you just to get a gift. I believe you are not a fellow mommy, as I tried to find out before I responded, and if you did the same before your seemingly-rude response, perhaps you would have been a bit softer.
A week or two ago I was ready to jump off a bridge. Then I got excited after the shock wore off, and was happy about my little surprise. Realizing I had lots of loved ones who were happy made me think of the love for an unborn child at a shower. And you can't register for, wrap, or put a bow on love.
I'm sorry you won't attend the baby shower you were invited too. I know they are annoying. The games, that silly hat, the cheesiness. As much as you will never understand why people have showers or sprinkles, I will never understand why someone wouldn't attend just because they feel it's less significant because it's not the first baby.
If you ever have kids, (perhaps you would like one, or two one day), I hope you have as many as you want. And I hope you have a celebration for each of them. It doesn't always have to do with registering.
We're actually debating a "welcome baby" party because we were so overwhelmed at the hospital with all the visitors. If people choose to bring gifts, so be it, if not? Still glad they came to celebrate.
And you know what? If someone throws me a sprinkle or shower I'd be thrilled with it. And so what if it's my second kid? MIL was supposed to throw my shower with DD1 and friends who had wanted to help out were turned away and then never even got invites. MIL didn't throw a traditional shower, only invited her own friends and family, we didn't have any of the cheesiness or games, nor did anyone we were close with get an invite (including MY family). And it's not to sound ungrateful for what I did get, it's more to point out the disappointment of our closest friends who were shut out of the celebration. So, if they decide to throw me a shower should I decline it?
And I guess we're REAL tacky since we DO have a registry set up. It has about 10 things like pacifiers and nipples on it. It also contains our double stroller, which we put on there because we will be able to use the completion coupon to get a discount when WE buy it. You know it's possible to set up a 'registry' and not tell the world about it.
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| Posted 8/9/10 11:16 PM |
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TessMike214
Gabriella Aubrey born 3/26!
Member since 5/10 2440 total posts
Name:
Tess
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
Do what you wanna do who cares what anyone else thinks!!
And I finally learned what a sprinkle is in this convo!!
If I have another baby, my mom insists on throwing me another shower(or maybe I'll suggest a sprinkle!) especially if it's a girl next time (this one's a boy!)
I'm not going to argue with that!
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| Posted 8/9/10 11:28 PM |
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jteach
2 and through
Member since 9/07 3939 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
I think a sprinkle or small shower is fine, especially if you are not registering. Its just a nice way to get together with your closest girls and celebrate the arrival of a new baby and who wouldn't want to be part of that 
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| Posted 8/10/10 12:08 AM |
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Karebaby
Precious
Member since 10/06 5304 total posts
Name:
Karyn
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
Posted by speakthetruth
Posted by quasi3
Crashing
I am invited to a sprinkle for someone who is having baby number 2, 2 years apart. I declined the initiation.
I will bring a gift to the house after the baby is born.
I voted tacky. I never really understood why someone would have a second shower or sprinkle - no matter how far apart their children are.
Some of the responses make me
If you are pregnant then you should be ready to purchase all the items that your child would need and not depend on the generosity of others.
I believe it is very nervy to expect people to purchase you a double stroller or other items including clothing YOUR child.
If someone wants to come to your house with gifts that is one thing but throwing or having a "shower/sprinkle" for gifts is very nervy.
Listen, I am sure you didn't mean to sound as rude as you did in your response, and maybe it's just my hormones, but cool it.
First off, I NEVER mentioned even registering in my post. I asked if a sprinkle/shower was tacky.
I don't need gifts, or "expect people to purchase a double stroller" for my child. All I wanted was a celebration, as last time, my MIL went nuts and invited most of her family, and I ended up with only 4 relatives of my own.
In fact, I was going to have it at my house and have a catered party.
You wrote that throwing a "shower/sprinkle" for gifts is nervy. I never said it was for gifts, either!
Most of the time, it is NOT for gifts. Most soon-to-be-mommies just want to celebrate their baby on the way. That's all. Some silly games, a cake, loved ones. That's all.
You "declined the initation" (but I think you meant invitation).. all because someone invited you to a baby shower for a 2nd child?
You, as a guest, do not have to buy anything, let alone anything off of the registry. Homemade cookies, a plant, or a craft you made is just as nice, but the best thing would be you simply attending as loved one.
But, I will assume that the reason you don't want to go is because you dislike the person or something. I'm going to try to not think you're just being spiteful.
And if you were being spiteful, you're just the kind of person who no future mommy would want in attendance.
People graduated from high school, then college, then grad school. Are they only allowed to have one party?
People get married 2, 3, maybe 4 times. Are they only allowed one wedding?
Bottom line is, I NEVER asked about registering. I didn't intend to at all. I also didn't intend to "depend on the generosity of others"
Please don't assume people invite you just to get a gift. I believe you are not a fellow mommy, as I tried to find out before I responded, and if you did the same before your seemingly-rude response, perhaps you would have been a bit softer.
A week or two ago I was ready to jump off a bridge. Then I got excited after the shock wore off, and was happy about my little surprise. Realizing I had lots of loved ones who were happy made me think of the love for an unborn child at a shower. And you can't register for, wrap, or put a bow on love.
I'm sorry you won't attend the baby shower you were invited too. I know they are annoying. The games, that silly hat, the cheesiness. As much as you will never understand why people have showers or sprinkles, I will never understand why someone wouldn't attend just because they feel it's less significant because it's not the first baby.
If you ever have kids, (perhaps you would like one, or two one day), I hope you have as many as you want. And I hope you have a celebration for each of them. It doesn't always have to do with registering.
AGREED AND WELL SAID!
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| Posted 8/10/10 12:56 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
Posted by Karebaby
Posted by speakthetruth
Posted by quasi3
Crashing
I am invited to a sprinkle for someone who is having baby number 2, 2 years apart. I declined the initiation.
I will bring a gift to the house after the baby is born.
I voted tacky. I never really understood why someone would have a second shower or sprinkle - no matter how far apart their children are.
Some of the responses make me
If you are pregnant then you should be ready to purchase all the items that your child would need and not depend on the generosity of others.
I believe it is very nervy to expect people to purchase you a double stroller or other items including clothing YOUR child.
If someone wants to come to your house with gifts that is one thing but throwing or having a "shower/sprinkle" for gifts is very nervy.
Listen, I am sure you didn't mean to sound as rude as you did in your response, and maybe it's just my hormones, but cool it.
First off, I NEVER mentioned even registering in my post. I asked if a sprinkle/shower was tacky.
I don't need gifts, or "expect people to purchase a double stroller" for my child. All I wanted was a celebration, as last time, my MIL went nuts and invited most of her family, and I ended up with only 4 relatives of my own.
In fact, I was going to have it at my house and have a catered party.
You wrote that throwing a "shower/sprinkle" for gifts is nervy. I never said it was for gifts, either!
Most of the time, it is NOT for gifts. Most soon-to-be-mommies just want to celebrate their baby on the way. That's all. Some silly games, a cake, loved ones. That's all.
You "declined the initation" (but I think you meant invitation).. all because someone invited you to a baby shower for a 2nd child?
You, as a guest, do not have to buy anything, let alone anything off of the registry. Homemade cookies, a plant, or a craft you made is just as nice, but the best thing would be you simply attending as loved one.
But, I will assume that the reason you don't want to go is because you dislike the person or something. I'm going to try to not think you're just being spiteful.
And if you were being spiteful, you're just the kind of person who no future mommy would want in attendance.
People graduated from high school, then college, then grad school. Are they only allowed to have one party?
People get married 2, 3, maybe 4 times. Are they only allowed one wedding?
Bottom line is, I NEVER asked about registering. I didn't intend to at all. I also didn't intend to "depend on the generosity of others"
Please don't assume people invite you just to get a gift. I believe you are not a fellow mommy, as I tried to find out before I responded, and if you did the same before your seemingly-rude response, perhaps you would have been a bit softer.
A week or two ago I was ready to jump off a bridge. Then I got excited after the shock wore off, and was happy about my little surprise. Realizing I had lots of loved ones who were happy made me think of the love for an unborn child at a shower. And you can't register for, wrap, or put a bow on love.
I'm sorry you won't attend the baby shower you were invited too. I know they are annoying. The games, that silly hat, the cheesiness. As much as you will never understand why people have showers or sprinkles, I will never understand why someone wouldn't attend just because they feel it's less significant because it's not the first baby.
If you ever have kids, (perhaps you would like one, or two one day), I hope you have as many as you want. And I hope you have a celebration for each of them. It doesn't always have to do with registering.
AGREED AND WELL SAID!
And you make a EXCELLENT point about the graduations and weddings!
I've realized that people will always find something to talk about. So I vote..do what YOU want. Celebrate that baby!
ETS: Congratulations. I don't think I said that to you yet
Message edited 8/10/2010 6:23:47 AM.
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| Posted 8/10/10 6:22 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
I didn't want anything if the second was the same sex (which he was)
If I was having a girl I would have let my mother throw me a Sprinkle (but only having close family over for brunch)
I'm not into a full blown shower for the second kid, and have never heard of that before (and in my family we have a party every time someone sneezes!)
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| Posted 8/10/10 8:06 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
It's YOUR decision.
YOUR family & friends are going to be there... and they will love you (tacky or not).
IMO, if they want to throw you a party... why not?
But you did ask for people's opinions...
I actually WOULD register to give them an idea as to what to bring (otherwise you will get gift cards or outfits). I personally like seeing the gifts I gave people used.
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| Posted 8/10/10 8:17 AM |
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DBJ808
LIF Adult
Member since 6/09 1039 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
I think a sprinkle would be okay if you heart is really set on it but only if the people that you are extremely close with are invited. I wouldn't have more than 20 people and I would limit it to your family.
Honestly though, it it were me in my situation....I wouldn't. Not sure if you can relate at all but I will tell you my reasoning. I got married in 2008. So for me, it's been one party after the other. Engagement party in 07, shower, bachelorette party, wedding in 08, a break in 09, baby shower in 10, eventually a christening in 10, eventually a first birthday in 11. I just feel like how much can one ask from people?
I purposely registered for all gender neutral things so I wouldn't have to by much if the next baby is the opposite sex. I know every child should be celebrated but I do not believe the platform should be a second baby shower. People will buy the baby things regardless when it arrives. I think inviting those who are close to you over to see the baby after in dribs and drabs is more appropriate.
JMO... not trying to insult just to give another perpective!
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| Posted 8/10/10 8:46 AM |
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
Posted by DBJ808
I think a sprinkle would be okay if you heart is really set on it but only if the people that you are extremely close with are invited. I wouldn't have more than 20 people and I would limit it to your family.
Honestly though, it it were me in my situation....I wouldn't. Not sure if you can relate at all but I will tell you my reasoning. I got married in 2008. So for me, it's been one party after the other. Engagement party in 07, shower, bachelorette party, wedding in 08, a break in 09, baby shower in 10, eventually a christening in 10, eventually a first birthday in 11. I just feel like how much can one ask from people?
I purposely registered for all gender neutral things so I wouldn't have to by much if the next baby is the opposite sex. I know every child should be celebrated but I do not believe the platform should be a second baby shower. People will buy the baby things regardless when it arrives. I think inviting those who are close to you over to see the baby after in dribs and drabs is more appropriate.
JMO... not trying to insult just to give another perpective!
ITA.
But if you do have one I think you might as well register. If you don't you will end up with a lot of stuff you don't need.
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| Posted 8/10/10 9:05 AM |
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
Have a sprinkle, have a shower, have a freaking monsoon if you want. Invite only who you would like there and if they don't come, who cares!
Having a shower is not begging for gifts...it's celebrating something you are excited for. You have every right to be just as excited for your second child as your first!
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| Posted 8/10/10 9:10 AM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
I have 3 girls and had 2 showers and 1 sprinkle. while the 2 showers were definitly needed, since my children were 8 years apart and i had nothing and this was my DH's first child. The sprinkle i really felt i could do without.
while i don't think it's tacky, i dont think you should be involved in the planning of it. For my sprinkle my MIL and SIL's threw it and pretty much just asked for diapers and GC's.
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| Posted 8/10/10 9:20 AM |
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Mrs-Boop
My Babies
Member since 5/05 4956 total posts
Name:
Jaime
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
We don't do second showers or sprinkles in my family....just not done, but I don't see anything wrong with them. It is celebrating the new baby. What is the big deal if you bring the new mom a gift before the baby is born or after?
As for registering, even if you don't have a sprinkle, I would still register. I plan to. I want that completion coupon at the end and I told my family to buy me Christmas gifts from there this year, there is nothing I need for Christmas, so buy us stuff for our family and new baby.
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| Posted 8/10/10 9:33 AM |
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MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!
Member since 5/06 3104 total posts
Name:
MrsDrMatt
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
yep... still tacky.....
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| Posted 8/10/10 9:35 AM |
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tara73
carseat nerd
Member since 11/09 3669 total posts
Name:
Buttercup
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Re: A poll..still tacky? EDITED for Quasi3....I'M NOT REGISTERING
Posted by BeachMom
while i don't think it's tacky, i dont think you should be involved in the planning of it.
This.
I'm actually surprised how many folks here are involved with the planning of their own showers, including favors and location.
I don't know anyone who was involved to that level. Most involvement I've seen is invite lists/addresses and available dates.
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| Posted 8/10/10 9:50 AM |
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