Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

I am not in an interfaith marriage. However if I was I would definitely do whatever I could to compromise. From what you've said it sounds like you have compromised already.

Tell your MIL that you have already compromised enough and now it's her turn. If the outfit is too small then don't put it on. Tell your MIL that you refuse to make your DD uncomfortable in an outfit that won't fit. I think offering to put the bracelet on after the ceremony is a fair enough compromise and if your MIL doesn't like it well then tough for her. It's your DD's day. You are the mommy and what you say goes. As long as you got your DH's support then you should do whatever you want.

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

Posted by beckywecky

Posted by Stefanie

Whatever happened to whatever the mother is...that's what the child is?

I don't understand the drama here...
You're orthodox...that's what your child is. It sounds like your MIL is just being pushy. She needs to step down and take her dress that's too small and her bracelet and relax herself. She had the chance to christen her kids...she needs to let you do what what you want.

I'm sorry if this sounds mean...I'm cranky today.

Good luck...

YOU have FM

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

I'm sorry, but I don't understand your MIL asking if your DD can wear the gown just for a few pictures. I don't know anything about the Orthodox faith, but if the gown is not something that would be worn for their baptism, then she should not have to have a picture taken in it. That almost seems like your MIL wants to pretend that she is being baptised Catholic.

As far as the bracelet, with it being family heirloom and all, I would let DD wear it after the ceremony. Not only because of the family history, but also to show respect for DH's religion.

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

Posted by CathyB

Let me preface this with I'm in an interfaith marriage. Also I can't stand my MIL, and we've had some major issues over the years.

That said, I don't see what the big deal is to take some pics in the outfit a day or 2 before or after the actual christening, and to put the bracelet on her after the ceremony at the party. I think it's nice that your dd is being included in the family traditions. That's the beauty of being part of an interfaith family, you get to learn about and embrace new traditions, in addition to the ones you are used to.

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

Posted by Stefanie

Posted by beckywecky

Posted by Stefanie

Whatever happened to whatever the mother is...that's what the child is?

I don't understand the drama here...
You're orthodox...that's what your child is. It sounds like your MIL is just being pushy. She needs to step down and take her dress that's too small and her bracelet and relax herself. She had the chance to christen her kids...she needs to let you do what what you want.

I'm sorry if this sounds mean...I'm cranky today.

Good luck...

YOU have FM

I knew you didn't mean me....

Message edited 3/18/2008 8:04:39 AM.

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

If this was me I was sit down with DH and MIL and set the ground rules. Religion is one thing I would set rules for early on or else every holiday will have to be a compromise between traditions and beliefs. When you go to MIL's house during the holidays I'm sure she will do everything in the Catholic tradition and not the Orthodox tradition so there should be no double standard. Your house will be an Orthodox one. You DH should explain to his mother that this is the way HIS family will be raised. End of story, end of discussion.

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

I would be afraid of the heirloom gown getting ripped by trying to make it fit DD who clearly will not fit into it. I also agree with a poster above who said by taking the picture it's like pretending she was baptized in the gown. Your MIL really needs to abide by your wishes. You're the mommy. If she's giving you such a hard time now, I'd be concerned that it will only get worse as time progresses. So someone (I think it should be DH) needs to tell her firmly that she needs to back off. I hope it works out for you.

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

Posted by shellybean

Posted by CathyB

Let me preface this with I'm in an interfaith marriage. Also I can't stand my MIL, and we've had some major issues over the years.

That said, I don't see what the big deal is to take some pics in the outfit a day or 2 before or after the actual christening, and to put the bracelet on her after the ceremony at the party. I think it's nice that your dd is being included in the family traditions. That's the beauty of being part of an interfaith family, you get to learn about and embrace new traditions, in addition to the ones you are used to.

I agree or just explaine it to her, i am catholic and honestly i assumed if you christen a child in any faith they wera the oitfit, and i didnt even know there was a different cross, maybe she sdoesnt know...either way, you shoulndt feel guilty, but i personally would kewep the peace and take a few pics the day before...BTW what will she wear???

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

I would try MIL's outfit on her, if it fits, take a pic. Then have your gown on her.

For the bracelet, after the ceremony, I would definitely have her wear it.

My mil is pentcostal. DH doesn't believe in any religion. I am catholic.

When my baby was baptized, I had Leo's grandmother make the gown...I did not see it until the night before baptism. I would have loved to go and pick out a gown myself, but I thought this would be a great way to incorporate the baby's other side of the family into the ceremony.

I think it's easy to forget at times that its not his family and my family...its the baby's family. Its the baby's day and its great if both families can be included.

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

I think your MIL is just being a bully about everything. She is clearly not listening to you and what you want for your child.

I think it's a case of if you do it once to please her, she will think she will get her way every time if she just complains enough.

My MIL can be like this, she'll carry on and on until you just do what she wants because it's easier then to hear her complain about it.

I've learned to just say no. No matter what, I'll say no if I feel what she wants is inapprorpraite.

Good Luck.

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

My advice, forget about the gown,don't be coaxed into something you are not happy with..there is nothing worse than a miserable host..really sets a bad tone for the day.

I'd let the bracelet slide and let her wear it AFTER the ceremony. If the cross is really tiny,most ppl will not even notice. I have seen Orthodox crosses and the only difference to me is that they are more ornate.

I guess we were in a similar situation except its the opposite- my DH was brought up both Catholic and Serbian Orthodox ( I am Catholic) our DD is Catholic and baptised as such.

Didn't these issues already come up when you two were getting married? Thats when we squashed ours.

Also,why pick Catholic Godparents if you wanted the Orthodox influence?

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

Message edited 3/18/2008 7:33:38 PM.

Re: MIL vent, little long, but would like to get some opinions , please.

Posted by pharmcat2000
That almost seems like your MIL wants to pretend that she is being baptised Catholic.

ITA!!

Also from your other post where you said that your dd can only wear this dress once (no one else can wear it)...it makes sense why you don't want her to wear that other gown.

Stick to your guns.