Hi...This is my story, help please

Hi everyone. I skippped this board and went right to pregnancy after finding out 4 days after our wedding that we were pregnant. Totally suprised, but adjusted quickly. At my 12 week appt this past Tuesday we found out our baby no longer had the heartbeat we had seen at 8 weeks. I had a d&c yesterday and I am a mess. Now my husband wants to wait before we ttc. We initially wanted to wait like 3 years but now thats all changed for me. I am just wondering if other people have gone through this and if anyone chose to wait a while after a m/c. I feel like ttc again is the only thing that will make this better. It's like now I am ready, I got a glimpse of being a mom and it was taken from me and now I want it back so bad but if DH wants to wait what can I do? He has his points regarding stability and all that (I am student teaching right now and he thinks I should get a job first) but sometimes you just can't do things "According to plan". I don't know I just don't know how to get over this.Thanks for reading this....I guess I just need

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

Those feeling are totally normal and I have read very similar stories.

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

so sorry

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

many many to you... i am just so sorry for your loss and i can only imagine the pain you are going through. this is a hard question to answer and i cannot speak from experience. maybe just heal emotionally for a little while...i know that my dh would probably say the same thing b/c it is a very difficult thing to go through emotionally and he especially hates to see me cry or suffer. your dh may just need time too to absorb this experience. he may not need as much time as he says he does right now. as a little time passes, he reallly might have a change of heart. please take care of yourself and know that there is a better future around the corner. much and for the future.

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

I am so sorry.

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

I am so sorry about what you are going through. Maybe wait one AF cycle, then bring it up with DH again. I wish you all the best.

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

I'm so sorry

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

I would say it's extremely common. I've had several friends that were in the same boat. They weren't ready, found out they were pregnant. They spent weeks convincing themselves how it didn't matter & how great it was going to be only to find out at 9 weeks & 12 weeks that it didn't work out. Unfortunately the saying "You don't know what you had until it's gone" has never ringed truer for them.

I hope you have as fast of a turn around as they did (pregnant with in the first 2 months post D&C).

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

I just went through a similar situations. I had a natural m/c and i wasnt as far along. My advice is to take it day by day right now. Give yourself a few days to heal from the procedure, let your body heal, then talk about it again. Its hard to make a decision like that when its such an emotional time. Im sure your DH will come around. Men arent as emotional as woman (in general) during a time like this, and they dont handle it the same way. he might be saying things he doesnt mean b/c he is sad or disappointed that things didnt work out. It gets easier, if you want to FM me, im here.

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

Hi,
I am so sorry to hear this! I had a natural m/c at 9 weeks so I know how devastating this can be. My DH said he wanted to wait 3-4 mos before starting again and I thought that was ridiculous!! After thinking about it more and more, we decided to try again right away. It didn't work the first time around and AF came, and now hopefully, we will be back here again soon. I think it is an individual choice on how long you wait. Take it day by day right now--it is a grieving process and you need to take time to heal. I saw my Dr and he said that the best time to start again is after your af, since then you get a clean slate to try again. I wish you all the best, and if you want to talk, please fm me.

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

FIrst of all, I am so sorry for your loss. It is a very tramautic time.

Unless you have some special issue such as age, I would wait. After my D&C I wanted to wait but ended up pregnant a cycle later. It was very overwhelming in the beginning of my pregnancy and DH and I did not enjoy it at all since we were so worried.

If you can wait I would. My DH was like you, he wanted it right away. But emotionally it would have been better if we waited a couple of months.

JMO

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

Thanks girls- Just as a little added note-

I want to wait 2 cycles like the dr said. Just not like a year.

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

Many and

Re: Hi...This is my story, help please

I just had my D&C yesterday, so I can relate. My hubby is eager to try again but I am so nervous (I really don't think I could go through this twice). Your hubby must just be very scared. Does he have people he can talk to? I feel like the women get so much support - but sometimes the men are left out in the cold with their feelings.