Potty Training a STUBBORN Child - update!

Update!

Daycare recommended I send him in underwear this week since he did well on the potty on Monday. So I put him in underwear on Wednesday and he had no accidents on W, Th or F at daycare and only 2 when he was home. Today we were out and about all day and he did great and used 3 public bathrooms! Fingers crossed!!!
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My DS was potty trained for 2-3 weeks over the summer (end of August). Then he had a major regression and had at least 6-7 accident each day, several days in a row so we put him back in diapers cause I honestly do not have time to be washing his clothes every single day after work.

Fast forward to present day: He is now 2 years, 9 months. He will occasionally go on the potty when HE feels like it. The other day I brought him to the potty since he woke up dry from his nap. I said, let's try to pee on the potty. He said he didn't have to go pee and was kicking and screaming. 1 minute later, he's crying cause his pants are wet...

Daycare keeps mentioning training him. All the kids his age and several that are younger are trained. Any advice on what I can do to encourage him to use the potty? Bribing does not work - he does not understand the concept. I told him if he started using the potty, he could get x, y, and z and I don't think he understands. I even tried immediate rewards.

He knows when he has to pee and when he has to poop. He can hold his pee during naps and frequently overnight. He is ready, but needs a push to get started. I do not want this to turn into a power struggle though so I am willing to wait. I know daycare really wants him out of diapers so he can move up to the nursery room sooner rather than later.

Message edited 1/28/2017 6:54:08 PM.

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

My advice, may not be popular here - but it's to leave him alone and not force the potty training issue UNLESS it's a situation where a school won't accept a non trained child. It's just one of those battles that I personally don't think is important.

Both of my boys were 3.5 when they were out of diapers. I admit I have a pretty type A, controlling personality .....normally I'd be twitching over something like that - I was crazy about not putting them in my bed, taking away the bottle at a certain time etc. but I just never set out to "Potty Train" them - They literally went from wearing a diaper to being 150%, non accident, in underwear done, in one day. Like they flipped a switch. There was no 'diaper for the car' no 'pee but not poop' trained etc - it was Monday, diaper, Tuesday not.

It was one thing I never stressed over, never pushed never made an issue of. The potty was out there from the minute they showed interest (probably 1.5) - but I never made a thing of it. I started pushing a bit here and there at 3 ......but again, there was no 'method' no weekend walking around naked or anything like that.

My thought on this is - it doesn't matter. They're NOT going to Kindergarten in diapers. Ditching the diapers at 1 vs 2 vs 3 doesn't mean anything for them developmentally, academically, socially etc.
It's not something I think it worth making yourself or your kid crazy over. - just my 2 cents.

oh and ETA - who gives a sh*t what daycare wants? You do what's good for you and your kid! Unless, like I said YOU want him in the next room, then that is different. But if it's them pressuring you - the hell w/ that !!

Message edited 1/13/2017 2:32:51 PM.

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

2 years 9 months is actually very young for potty training, especially for a boy! In DS's day care, almost none of the kids were trained at that age - let alone ALL of them. No way.

I'd let it go a while longer. Pushing it won't make him train faster. He won't go to kindergarten in diapers!

ETA: Just read the previous post and I said almost the exact same thing...so I agree!

Message edited 1/13/2017 2:33:09 PM.

Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

Both of my boys were over 3 when they finally trained (one was 3y4m, one was 3y10m). They had been waking up dry in the morning but, I was just waiting until we had some downtime to do something.

We had a day of accidents and on day 2, they used the potty and there was no turning back (well, DS 1 had some issues with going number 2 on the potty so it took a few extra weeks for that). Throughout the process though it amazed me how long they could hold it in for (DS 2 didn't pee for 16 hrs before he finally gave in and used the potty at school).

Will daycare help train him for you? A lot of friends had success with daycare training their kids (I didn't obviously) - but, sometimes they are more willing to follow their peers and do something like that for others (except if they are my kids lol).

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

I also think 2 years 9 months is young for a boy. My mother runs a daycare and always says that boys take longer and 3 is a more realistic age to start trying to get boys on a potty schedule.

Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

My DS didn't want to do it. He was 2.5 years old. He would here and there but it was really not often or consistent.

We forced it. I am so glad we did. He trained in 2 days and even night time.

If I didn't force it he would never do it on his own. He is just that type of kid. He's fine with status quo. I have to force him on many things and once he gets started he is gung ho. When we started potty training we were only goign to tackle day but after the 3rd day he didn't want to put a pull up on for night so we went with it.

And I def don;t agree with the boys take longer. If he is holding it in then he is ready and probably just needs a push. Try the 3 day method.

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

Posted by MarisaK

My advice, may not be popular here - but it's to leave him alone and not force the potty training issue UNLESS it's a situation where a school won't accept a non trained child. It's just one of those battles that I personally don't think is important.

Both of my boys were 3.5 when they were out of diapers. I admit I have a pretty type A, controlling personality .....normally I'd be twitching over something like that - I was crazy about not putting them in my bed, taking away the bottle at a certain time etc. but I just never set out to "Potty Train" them - They literally went from wearing a diaper to being 150%, non accident, in underwear done, in one day. Like they flipped a switch. There was no 'diaper for the car' no 'pee but not poop' trained etc - it was Monday, diaper, Tuesday not.

It was one thing I never stressed over, never pushed never made an issue of. The potty was out there from the minute they showed interest (probably 1.5) - but I never made a thing of it. I started pushing a bit here and there at 3 ......but again, there was no 'method' no weekend walking around naked or anything like that.

My thought on this is - it doesn't matter. They're NOT going to Kindergarten in diapers. Ditching the diapers at 1 vs 2 vs 3 doesn't mean anything for them developmentally, academically, socially etc.
It's not something I think it worth making yourself or your kid crazy over. - just my 2 cents.

oh and ETA - who gives a sh*t what daycare wants? You do what's good for you and your kid! Unless, like I said YOU want him in the next room, then that is different. But if it's them pressuring you - the hell w/ that !!

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

I agree with the others that he's actually young. DS1 trained at 3 years, 7 months and DS2 did it at 3 years, 2 months (we just did training with him in December and he's good 95% of the time).

I wouldn't push it, but I would keep mentioning the potty and asking gently if he'd like to try it. That's how we did it with DS2 and eventually he was like OK I'll try. I think the harder you push the more they will resist. And don't let daycare guilt you into it. They just want less diapers to change!

Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

Thanks everyone! I am in no rush to potty train and I personally don't push it, but i felt like he was the oddball when compared to his classmates. I've told him big boys use the potty and he says, I'm a baby! I'll revisit this in a few months!

Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

I'm sure the fact that he was successful for a few weeks is throwing you. However, I will say there is a lot more than being physically ready. Dd1 was so ready at a young age, woke up dry consistently, held her pee for long periods, was very verbal. But by the time I tried to train her she was way too scared, stubborn, controlling, who knows for sure but bottom line she was not having it. I couldn't believe she ended up being pretty much the last of her friends not potty trained. A day or two after she turned 3 we had a talk and that was that, she was done with diapers and only had one accident. Once they really put their foot down and resist I don't see the benefit in dragging them through it kicking and screaming. Try not to let anyone pressure you and just do what you think is best.

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

Personally, I'd do the 3 day method (but I trained both early... at 2 for the boy and a bit earlier for the girl) but I know many who waited till after 3 (and they had to for their kid to go to preschool). When you need to, you will find a way.

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

Posted by MarisaK

My advice, may not be popular here - but it's to leave him alone and not force the potty training issue UNLESS it's a situation where a school won't accept a non trained child. It's just one of those battles that I personally don't think is important.

Both of my boys were 3.5 when they were out of diapers. I admit I have a pretty type A, controlling personality .....normally I'd be twitching over something like that - I was crazy about not putting them in my bed, taking away the bottle at a certain time etc. but I just never set out to "Potty Train" them - They literally went from wearing a diaper to being 150%, non accident, in underwear done, in one day. Like they flipped a switch. There was no 'diaper for the car' no 'pee but not poop' trained etc - it was Monday, diaper, Tuesday not.

It was one thing I never stressed over, never pushed never made an issue of. The potty was out there from the minute they showed interest (probably 1.5) - but I never made a thing of it. I started pushing a bit here and there at 3 ......but again, there was no 'method' no weekend walking around naked or anything like that.

My thought on this is - it doesn't matter. They're NOT going to Kindergarten in diapers. Ditching the diapers at 1 vs 2 vs 3 doesn't mean anything for them developmentally, academically, socially etc.
It's not something I think it worth making yourself or your kid crazy over. - just my 2 cents.

oh and ETA - who gives a sh*t what daycare wants? You do what's good for you and your kid! Unless, like I said YOU want him in the next room, then that is different. But if it's them pressuring you - the hell w/ that !!

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

Posted by MarisaK

My advice, may not be popular here - but it's to leave him alone and not force the potty training issue UNLESS it's a situation where a school won't accept a non trained child. It's just one of those battles that I personally don't think is important.

Both of my boys were 3.5 when they were out of diapers. I admit I have a pretty type A, controlling personality .....normally I'd be twitching over something like that - I was crazy about not putting them in my bed, taking away the bottle at a certain time etc. but I just never set out to "Potty Train" them - They literally went from wearing a diaper to being 150%, non accident, in underwear done, in one day. Like they flipped a switch. There was no 'diaper for the car' no 'pee but not poop' trained etc - it was Monday, diaper, Tuesday not.

It was one thing I never stressed over, never pushed never made an issue of. The potty was out there from the minute they showed interest (probably 1.5) - but I never made a thing of it. I started pushing a bit here and there at 3 ......but again, there was no 'method' no weekend walking around naked or anything like that.

My thought on this is - it doesn't matter. They're NOT going to Kindergarten in diapers. Ditching the diapers at 1 vs 2 vs 3 doesn't mean anything for them developmentally, academically, socially etc.
It's not something I think it worth making yourself or your kid crazy over. - just my 2 cents.

oh and ETA - who gives a sh*t what daycare wants? You do what's good for you and your kid! Unless, like I said YOU want him in the next room, then that is different. But if it's them pressuring you - the hell w/ that !!

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

I am going through the the same EXACT thing, except it's my 3 1/2 yo DD. I thought girls were supposed to be easy! Just refuses to go. She'll tell me she just peed in her pull up or that she has to poop but by the time we get to the bathroom, she'll already have gone.

I am super frustrated. She goes to school full time and I'm pretty sure she's probably the last one not going. I just don't get the reluctance to go potty. I'm having baby #3 in April and I really want her out of diapers.

Her pediatrician told me at her 3 yr well visit not to push it, that when she is ready she will be trained in a day on her own. We literally saw him yesterday and he said the same thing. That the more stubborn and head strong they are, the harder it is.

I'm letting it go for the next month. I'm going to push it over the February school break. I'm hoping for the best but not feeling optimistic.

Re: Potty Training a STUBBORN Child

DS1 was trained at 2y9m, but that was through daycare. Once he finally peed on the potty, it clicked and he was in underwear within a few days. He wasn't as great with it at home for a few weeks or so, but then he was fully trained both day and night within a month. I didn't think he was ready, but daycare took the lead.

DS2 is my stubborn child. We tried a bunch of things to coax him to use the potty, but he wasn't interested. At 3, we bought tons of treats and stayed home for the weekend to start the 3 day method. I used a pull up during nap and when he woke up dry, I made him sit on the potty. He wasn't happy about it, but once he actually went and saw what a big deal we made out of it, he was much more motivated to use the potty. He definitely had accidents during the first several weeks and it took maybe a few months to night train, but he did pretty well. His friends also all moved up to the next room so that along with sweet treats motivated him. Daycare was a big help, but we needed to work with him first to get things going.

I wouldn't force it, but if daycare is pushing it, let them take the lead. The teachers had us bring in tons of clothes and took him every 30 minutes to the bathroom. Sometimes seeing other kids going to use the bathroom can help. If he's not ready though, tell them to back off and you can try again when he's closer to 3.

Potty Training a STUBBORN Child - update!

Update!

Daycare recommended I send him in underwear this week since he did well on the potty on Monday. So I put him in underwear on Wednesday and he had no accidents on W, Th or F at daycare and only 2 when he was home. Today we were out and about all day and he did great and used 3 public bathrooms! Fingers crossed!!!