| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 [2] |
Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
Posted by Hofstra26
Honestly, who cares what your EX thinks or if he gets his panties in a bunch???? What kind of a$$hole would be upset over someone doing something nice and generous for their child............ESPECIALLY the child's grandparents?? Too bad if he gets pi$$ed off, why should your son be punished because your EX is mad at his parents?? That's ridiculous, your son shouldn't be in the middle of this and if his grandparents want to do this for him to help his future I wouldn't hesitate to give them his SS#. They are FAMILY, what are they going to do with that info??............it sounds like they have nothing but good intentions. Maybe it's just me but your EX sounds like he's being a spiteful brat. He needs to get over it and put his son first.
100%...............I would give them the SS# without giving it a second thought.
She should care because that is her sons father and I think it's between his parents and himself. Why put unnecessary drama between her and her ex when the fight doesn't involve her. Maybe her Ex is an ass or maybe there is a legitimate concern. But either it's not her fight. She should discuss it with him first if he is reasonable. I'm sure if the roles were reversed we would all be pissed if our Exes went behind our back to family members we weren't taking to.
This happened with my DH and his sons mother years ago. They actually ended up going to court over it and in the middle of it she realized why he didn't want to have his son around his father and step mom. So at the end of the day, she was fighting with my Dhs father & stepmom and now was in the middle of a court case with DH. Had she stood out of it, she would have avoided unnecessary drama.
Again maybe he's a jerk, but I wouldn't get involved unless you want to add a strain between your ex and yourself. Things like this can get ugly.
|
Posted 8/25/15 8:24 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
cets1290
LIF Adult
Member since 6/14 1051 total posts
Name:
|
Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
i don't see anything wrong with it- i have a bunch of savings bonds from aunts/uncles/family friends and my parents had to give them all my SS# at the time they purchased it
|
| Posted 8/25/15 8:49 AM |
| |
|
ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17796 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
Posted by Chai77
Posted by Mara1017
I would not go over your ex-husband's head and give them information that he specifically said no to. I would reach out to your ex-husband and ask that he give the information to his parents since it will benefit your DS.
Exactly my thoughts.
It's not about disclosing the SS number. It's about your ex-in laws inappropriately trying to bypass their son and get information out of you. I agree with the PP - inform your ex that his parents have contacted you for this information and tell him to deal with it. I would not want to get involved in their family drama.
This.
If it is a 529 though - you can set it up and there is a way to give people information so they can make contributions. I get an email/letter about this around the holidays.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 8:52 AM |
| |
|
jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
Posted by Hofstra26
Honestly, who cares what your EX thinks or if he gets his panties in a bunch???? What kind of a$$hole would be upset over someone doing something nice and generous for their child............ESPECIALLY the child's grandparents?? Too bad if he gets pi$$ed off, why should your son be punished because your EX is mad at his parents?? That's ridiculous, your son shouldn't be in the middle of this and if his grandparents want to do this for him to help his future I wouldn't hesitate to give them his SS#. They are FAMILY, what are they going to do with that info??............it sounds like they have nothing but good intentions. Maybe it's just me but your EX sounds like he's being a spiteful brat. He needs to get over it and put his son first.
100%...............I would give them the SS# without giving it a second thought.
ITA. I would 100% give them the SS#. They are trying to do something nice for your DS.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 9:50 AM |
| |
|
Dani
Life is about choices.
Member since 5/05 6532 total posts
Name:
Dani
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
my sister and brother in law are going to do this for our kids and they do need a ssn.
but i wouldnt do anything that would cause tension between you and your ex. maybe talk to him first.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 9:53 AM |
| |
|
FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
I'm a step mom and we are at odds with FIL. If I were to hear that SD's mother went behind our backs to allow him to create a savings account for SD, I honestly don't think I would be mad. It's for the child.
I would give them the info. I wouldn't even bother telling ExH about it. It's a nice thing for your DS. If ExH gets mad, let's see how mad he is when your DS has nice little savings to pay for college courtesy of Grandma and Grandpa.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 10:10 AM |
| |
|
LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
I would ask yourself if you were fighting with your parents, would you want your ex to go behind your back? I'm guessing the answer would be no. I would give your ex the courtesy of knowing they asked and talk to him. What if they embezzled money and you don't know. It could be an innocent disagreement or it could be something else. I would give your ex notice.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 10:44 AM |
| |
|
Poppyseed79
LIF Adult
Member since 10/14 935 total posts
Name:
"Reg"
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
Posted by jellybean78
Posted by Hofstra26
Honestly, who cares what your EX thinks or if he gets his panties in a bunch???? What kind of a$$hole would be upset over someone doing something nice and generous for their child............ESPECIALLY the child's grandparents?? Too bad if he gets pi$$ed off, why should your son be punished because your EX is mad at his parents?? That's ridiculous, your son shouldn't be in the middle of this and if his grandparents want to do this for him to help his future I wouldn't hesitate to give them his SS#. They are FAMILY, what are they going to do with that info??............it sounds like they have nothing but good intentions. Maybe it's just me but your EX sounds like he's being a spiteful brat. He needs to get over it and put his son first.
100%...............I would give them the SS# without giving it a second thought.
ITA. I would 100% give them the SS#. They are trying to do something nice for your DS.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 12:00 PM |
| |
|
AllyMally
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/13 881 total posts
Name:
Alyson
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
Posted by Sash
Posted by Hofstra26
Honestly, who cares what your EX thinks or if he gets his panties in a bunch???? What kind of a$$hole would be upset over someone doing something nice and generous for their child............ESPECIALLY the child's grandparents?? Too bad if he gets pi$$ed off, why should your son be punished because your EX is mad at his parents?? That's ridiculous, your son shouldn't be in the middle of this and if his grandparents want to do this for him to help his future I wouldn't hesitate to give them his SS#. They are FAMILY, what are they going to do with that info??............it sounds like they have nothing but good intentions. Maybe it's just me but your EX sounds like he's being a spiteful brat. He needs to get over it and put his son first.
100%...............I would give them the SS# without giving it a second thought.
She should care because that is her sons father and I think it's between his parents and himself. Why put unnecessary drama between her and her ex when the fight doesn't involve her. Maybe her Ex is an ass or maybe there is a legitimate concern. But either it's not her fight. She should discuss it with him first if he is reasonable. I'm sure if the roles were reversed we would all be pissed if our Exes went behind our back to family members we weren't taking to.
This happened with my DH and his sons mother years ago. They actually ended up going to court over it and in the middle of it she realized why he didn't want to have his son around his father and step mom. So at the end of the day, she was fighting with my Dhs father & stepmom and now was in the middle of a court case with DH. Had she stood out of it, she would have avoided unnecessary drama.
Again maybe he's a jerk, but I wouldn't get involved unless you want to add a strain between your ex and yourself. Things like this can get ugly.
This isn't about her exh and exinls this is about her exinls trying to do something for her dc and it does include her being she is the mother. They aren't asking to see him or to have her get involved in why they aren't speaking to their son. They simply want to do something for their grandchild and are doing what they can to make that happen. If the situation were reversed you would have more info and so it's not a good reversal to know what is really going on and who the f cares. It's drama with her ex and his new wife. He's being an asshole for putting his dc in the middle.
OP I would 100% do it. My parents and inlaws were given our kids ssn# for accounts as well and I never thought twice about it. If you are concerned you could always call your ex and just explain how you feel and let him explain his reasoning. If it's good then don't do it, but if it's petty and not in the best interest of your dc tell him you are giving it to them.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 12:25 PM |
| |
|
Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10314 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
Posted by AllyMally
Posted by Sash
Posted by Hofstra26
Honestly, who cares what your EX thinks or if he gets his panties in a bunch???? What kind of a$$hole would be upset over someone doing something nice and generous for their child............ESPECIALLY the child's grandparents?? Too bad if he gets pi$$ed off, why should your son be punished because your EX is mad at his parents?? That's ridiculous, your son shouldn't be in the middle of this and if his grandparents want to do this for him to help his future I wouldn't hesitate to give them his SS#. They are FAMILY, what are they going to do with that info??............it sounds like they have nothing but good intentions. Maybe it's just me but your EX sounds like he's being a spiteful brat. He needs to get over it and put his son first.
100%...............I would give them the SS# without giving it a second thought.
She should care because that is her sons father and I think it's between his parents and himself. Why put unnecessary drama between her and her ex when the fight doesn't involve her. Maybe her Ex is an ass or maybe there is a legitimate concern. But either it's not her fight. She should discuss it with him first if he is reasonable. I'm sure if the roles were reversed we would all be pissed if our Exes went behind our back to family members we weren't taking to.
This happened with my DH and his sons mother years ago. They actually ended up going to court over it and in the middle of it she realized why he didn't want to have his son around his father and step mom. So at the end of the day, she was fighting with my Dhs father & stepmom and now was in the middle of a court case with DH. Had she stood out of it, she would have avoided unnecessary drama.
Again maybe he's a jerk, but I wouldn't get involved unless you want to add a strain between your ex and yourself. Things like this can get ugly.
This isn't about her exh and exinls this is about her exinls trying to do something for her dc and it does include her being she is the mother. They aren't asking to see him or to have her get involved in why they aren't speaking to their son. They simply want to do something for their grandchild and are doing what they can to make that happen. If the situation were reversed you would have more info and so it's not a good reversal to know what is really going on and who the f cares. It's drama with her ex and his new wife. He's being an asshole for putting his dc in the middle.
OP I would 100% do it. My parents and inlaws were given our kids ssn# for accounts as well and I never thought twice about it. If you are concerned you could always call your ex and just explain how you feel and let him explain his reasoning. If it's good then don't do it, but if it's petty and not in the best interest of your dc tell him you are giving it to them.
All I'm saying is it worth the drama she may cause with her ex by setting up the account even though he said no. And it is about her ex, regardless of the reason he said no. The child is his child as well. The parents went behind his back (maybe for good reason or not) to see if they can get it from the OP. If I was in the situation regardless I would talk to him first and the decide whether I should continue or give the parents the option to send me gifts.
I don't know if you have an ex, but sometimes you have to tread lightly or give in on somethings. It's not worth a fight.
Eta: OP if giving out the SSn# is your only concern then I would do it. If you trust his parents.
Message edited 8/25/2015 5:46:15 PM.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 5:10 PM |
| |
|
Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
I won't give that to either grandparent for other reasons. I feel it's a way of control for some grandparents and I don't care for that control.
Message edited 8/25/2015 9:08:39 PM.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 9:03 PM |
| |
|
lilacwine
only love...
Member since 5/05 2034 total posts
Name:
<3
|
Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?
If you thought to ask us before acting, don't do it.
|
| Posted 8/25/15 9:41 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 [2] |
