Baby Name dilema

So Im having a hard time with myself I guess on this decision.

In my family NO one has the same first name, meaning their are no two John's or Michael's, etc. Not even any Aunts or Uncles. Only one...when my Mom married into the family and then like two years later my aunt had a daughter and they both have the same name.

So my dilema is with naming my new son to be.. My cousin has an 8 year old boy with the name I want to use and its the only name I love. I didnt use the name with my other two sons because I didnt want to duplicate the name and had other names that I loved as well.

I feel like I might be breaking some sort of family code or something? ???? Im probably being really silly, but how would you feel?

I also want to ask my cousin to be my sons godfather another one of my weird dilemas. I feel like when I ask him, I want to see if he and his wife would have a problem with it..

Both boys would have the same initials (not the same last name) and they spell the first name that I want with one different letter that I wouldospell differently.

Message edited 5/9/2013 3:56:13 AM.

Re: Baby Name dilema

When you talk to your cousins about it, would you change the name if they said they didn't wan you to use it??? Or is it more like you want to tell them the name you picked so they are aware?

Sounds like you guys are close (if you want your cousin to be godfather) so hopefully they will take it as a sign of flattery.


ETA in a lot of Christian practices naming after the living is a sign of flattery.

Message edited 5/9/2013 7:41:00 AM.

Baby Name dilema

Tell us the name! I probably wouldn't use it because I wouldn't want people to think I stole it or something :-/

Re: Baby Name dilema

I think if you love it then use it! My cousin and her cousin's daughter have the same name, no one seemed to mind.

Baby Name dilema

I think you should use it. Eventually you are going to run out of names if you never duplicate names in the family. Don't go with a name you kinda like just because someone else how the name you love! Chances are when the child goes to school, he won't be the only one with that name.

Baby Name dilema

I personally would try to come up with a different name. Not to say that you shouldn't use the name... its up to you. If your heart is set on this name go for it. But if it were me I would just want something unique. However I have 2 friends who also have first cousins with the same name. I don't think there is anything wrong with it, I just personally would want to be different.

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Hmm. I think I would try and keep looking for a name, but if you can't find something else then I wold use the name you love

Baby Name dilema

I would use it. I LOVE my DH's name so my DS became a Jr. I don't like to compromise on names I love!

Re: Baby Name dilema

I say use it!

My Dad's cousin used my name for his daughter (So I have a cousin with the same name as me) We are about 8 years apart- and although he and my dad were close growing up- they drifted apart as the years passed (and he passed away 7 years ago- we haven't seen his wife and kids since then)

Re: Baby Name dilema

I would just use it, i was almost faced with the same dilemma,we were thinking of boy names, and the only name i loved was Ryan, and my cousins sons name is Ryan. I was going to ask them if they minded though, as a courtesy. But it ended up we are having a girl, so we avoided that situation all together.
I cant imagine that anyone would mind. i think its flattering.

Baby Name dilema

If it's a very unique name, then I wouldn't. But if it's a common name that alot of ppl would have anyway, then I would.

For me I always liked the name Lucas, but then DH's cousin named their son Luke, so I automatically took Lucas out of the running for our baby. But that's just me.

Re: Baby Name dilema

I didnt love it when my SIL named her son Jayden 9 months after I named my ds Braydon.

Baby Name dilema

My honest opinion no one has rights to a name if someone doesnt like it i personally wouldnt care bec this is my child and is a name I love for him or her.

Re: Baby Name dilema

If you're going to tell/ask your cousin, you have to be prepared for them to not be happy with it.

If you love the name, i honestly don't see anything wrong with it - but as another poster said, if its a really unique name, then it might look like you're copying them.
Are you super close with the cousin? do you think they'd mind?

or, you just name the kid what you want, and don't worry about what anyone else thinks

Re: Baby Name dilema

it's your cousins son, so it's not like a niece or nephew.....I would use it!! In DH's family his cousin's have a Nicole and a Nicolas and my BIL's also named their kids the same (so same relation, their cousin's kids names). I don't think it's a big deal at all.

Re: Baby Name dilema

A few factors I'd consider...

How often do you interact with this cousin and this cousin's kid?

How common is the name? If its a really unique name it'll sort of seem like you 'stole' it.

Does it actually matter to anyone that no names have been repeated?

And most importantly -- how much do you love the name?




Don't give up a name just because someone else used it before. I'm sorry but eventually names have to be repeated. No one 'owns' a name. Consider the fact that in a lot of families -- naming after a relative is considered an honor to that person.

I'm personally not a fan of having same names within the immediate family -- but that's because I grew up in a house with a brother/dad same name thing. And my husband had two females two males with the same name. His sister, mom, grandma, so on ... all had same name. I WON'T be continuing that tradition.

If you love a name - use it. You don't want to spend the rest of your life kicking yourself for not using it.

Re: Baby Name dilema

I used my second cousins sons name, we are fairly close but I love the name, it was a family name for DH and I (not her side of family she just liked it). Whatever. My second cousin has my name, it was my moms favorite name so she used it, never bothered me or anyone else as far as I know lol

Re: Baby Name dilema

I actually rarely see my cousin, maybe once a year at a family party of some sort. He spends more of the holidays with his wifes family.

The name I want to use is Lucas. They spell it Lukas. Ive loved that name for a good 10 years or so and kept pushing it off....Now with this baby, their just isn't any other name that I really like. I've thought about Luke, but I just dont think I love it as much as Lucas.

Re: Baby Name dilema

I would use the name. You have loved it for so long and it isn't even someone that you see all that often! That seals the deal for me. I'm also someone that wouldn't care if anyone copied my son's name, including a close family member like my sister. Lots of people in the world have my son's name, it's not like he's the only one! I don't think someone "owns" a name. Good luck with your decision!

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Re: Baby Name dilema

I would use it!
I named my ds#2 the same name as my first cousin who I see often. I asked my cousin how he felt about us using the name and he was cool with it. We loved the name and felt like we shouldn't have to settle for something we didn't love beacuse someone else has the same name.