Talk to me about second hand smoke

DH went back to smoking. He swore he'd quit when DD was born and that never happened. Shes 9 months. When she was born I got him a new car so she'd be in a safe vehicle when he takes her to daycare. Now I learn he's been smoking in his car. I only found out because I had to use it and he didn't want me to. I'm very upset. I can't believe he is not thinking about his daughters health. Actually I guess this is more of a vent because I know she's breathing in harmful fumes leftover in there and on the seats. Uh I'm so upset and he just gets angry with me when I want to talk about it

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

Is he smoking while she's in the car with him? If he is, talk to him and make him stop NOW. If he's not and what you're worried about is the smell in the upholstery, that's actually called "Third-hand smoke." You can google that and come up with some info.

Quitting smoking is ridiculously hard, as you know. I think it has a 96% fail rate. Most people have to try so many times before it sticks. I wouldn't take it as an insult to you or to your child that your DH can't do it. If I were you, I'd set up some ground rules and make sure he doesn't smoke in DD's presence, even out an open window. And maybe look into those e-cigarettes for now. They have nicotine in them but after you inhale, you exhale only water vapor - no smoke, tar, or poisonous anything. They're helping my dad to cut down and he's been smoking for 50 years.

Good luck.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

I survived a lot of second hand smoke. My grandfather was a chain smoker and took care of me when my mom was at work.

That being said, he died a horrible death due to smoking.

My lungs aren't pretty. Had to have a CT scan due to pneumonia 3 years ago and was told that they were pretty much "city lungs" by the radiologist.


Try and try again. Nicotine patches, programs, etc.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

I would be livid. Not only for smoking but for lying to you too.

I would would be leaving pictures around the house of lungs that were from a smokers with little captions saying "This is what you are doing to your daughter." Also pictures of brides dancing with their fathers at their weddings and write " (DD's name) needs you to be around for a long time." Im very blunt when it comes to things like this.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

You really need to make it clear to him that second hand smoke is a real and dangerous thing. It's so irresponsible for him to put your daughter in contact with smoke or anything that has nicotine on it. Quite honestly, if he is any kind of father he will smoke outside, wash his hands before touching the baby, and not smoke in the car.

I don't know you or your marital situation but you really need to put your foot down for the wellbeing of your child.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

Second hand smoke is WORSE then actually smoking... My son has had 9 ear infections from 1/2012-11-2012 and it all came down to my Mom and brothers smoking!!!! They only smoke outside but the smoke sticks to their clothes and it gets on the furniture... DS's allergist said it is worse to be exposed to 2nd hand smoke then to the actual smoke from the cigarette.... It has been linked to ADD and ADHD and learning disabilities... I grew up in a house with a smoker. I have horrible lungs... I developed severe allergies at 13 and asthma by 16. My son gets all wheezy and congested if he sleeps in bed with my brother.. Which I don't usually allow.. They all live with us, so it is hard... He needs to stop.. Febreze his car..Open all the windows in it and air it out!!! It will HURT her in the long run!!

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

Would he be willing to do the electric cigarettes? It has nicotine, but just emits water vapor.

Chemicals and carcinogens are left on surfaces, including his clothing and your DC's car seat. Children who deal with second hand smoke have higher instance of respiratory infection, bronchitis, and asthma. There is no filter on second hand smoke so there is even more chemicals/carcinogens inhaled, increasing the risk of cancer. DC doesn't even have to be physically around it. It will be on her seat, on DH's clothes, on DH's hands, etc.

I understand that smoking is hard to break, but a lot of smokers have had a lot of luck with the electric cigarette. I know someone who I though hell would freeze over before they would stop and all they use are those electric cigarettes now.

You are a better person than I, that would be such a deal breaker for me.

Message edited 1/19/2013 6:31:21 PM.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

If I found out my DH was smoking in front of my child I would pack his bags and tell him to take a hike until he kicks the habit. It may be harsh but as a parent we have to make the best decisions for our children and put them first, he isn't doing that. He should be ashamed of himself. I feel very badly that you have to deal with this, it isn't fair that he is putting you and your dd through this.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

My DH is a smoker. As a former smoker myself, I know how hard it is to quit.

However, we have rules and he adheres to them for my well being and our 2 and 4 year olds. He always smokes outside. He never smokes anywhere near us, even outside. He doesn't smoke in our cars. He wears a jacket when he goes outside and hangs it in the garage. He washes his hands after every cigarette.

Do I like it? No, I hate it and what it is doing to his health. However, it is a very hard addiction to break. He will quit when he is ready. Luckily, I have not seen any evidence that my boys are unhealthy. No asthma, recurrent ear infections or respiratory issues (knock wood)!

I would insist that there would be no smoking indoors or in the car. Also , change clothes when he holds her after smoking. Sorry you are dealing ith this- I know it is hard

Talk to me about second hand smoke

My DH was supposed to quit too, well that lasted for like 2 weeks and now he smokes again. He is only allowed to smoke outside, and has to wash his hands as soon as he comes in. If he smells bad I make him change his clothes.
I hate the smell, I hate him smoking, but he is an adult and I can not tell a grown man that he has to stop smoking. People with addictions are only able to stop them if they really want to. If he is not ready then he will start sneaking and lieing, so I accept that he smokes outside.
He works all day, and showers when he gets home, so I don't think it's affecting DD.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

Thanks everyone! He's not smoking in front of her or when she's in the car, but the smell is in there. Guess that's the 3rd hand smoke. I will research it some more. I make him change all the time if he goes out to get something and smokes. I have rules about it, but he is starting to get "lazy" about following them. It's a huge battle and he gets very nasty with me. It's a horrible addiction. I offered to buy the electric cigarette. He tried it in the mall. I don't think he's ready for it but I may just get it anyway. Is there a site that I can get that on that anyone would recommend?

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

They sell them at 7-11, CVS, Walgreens, and lots of other places. Good luck!

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

coming from a former smoker. Nothing you say can make him quit, he has to want to do it on his own.
As long as he is not smoking with her in the car I wouldn't get too much on his case. I would mention to him though that you can smell it in his car and that your baby is breathing that in, so he may start to think twice about lighting up in the car.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

I think the electric cigarettes would be a good compromise. He's getting the nicotine w/o as many other chemicals and no second hand smoke. So if its really the addiction to the nicotine that's hard to break, then he would still be getting that but it would be healthier for all involved.

They sell them at some gas stations too. I think anywhere you can find cigarettes, you can find them.

I think its worthy of a good conversation at the very least.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

Posted by LittleBlueBug

I think the electric cigarettes would be a good compromise. He's getting the nicotine w/o as many other chemicals and no second hand smoke. So if its really the addiction to the nicotine that's hard to break, then he would still be getting that but it would be healthier for all involved.

They sell them at some gas stations too. I think anywhere you can find cigarettes, you can find them.

I think its worthy of a good conversation at the very least.

Message edited 1/20/2013 8:05:09 AM.

Re: Talk to me about second hand smoke

Posted by Teach723

Posted by LittleBlueBug

I think the electric cigarettes would be a good compromise. He's getting the nicotine w/o as many other chemicals and no second hand smoke. So if its really the addiction to the nicotine that's hard to break, then he would still be getting that but it would be healthier for all involved.

They sell them at some gas stations too. I think anywhere you can find cigarettes, you can find them.

I think its worthy of a good conversation at the very least.

I think he had tried the one from the gas station. He dudnt like them. :uncertain There was a kiosk in the mall that had one and it was actually pretty good. I'm thinking I will tell him if he can't control himself then he has to smoke that one in the car. I think that's a good compromise. Thanks again everyone! It's just such a battle.