UPDATED: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

Neither DH & I are smokers. My FIL, on the other hand, is.

Recently, my FIL has been working on renovating our basement so that we can prepare for our LO. Both my FIL and his 2 employees are all chain smokers.

The first day they worked on our basement, I came home to a house that reeked on cigarette smoke! DH spoke to his dad who promised not to smoke in the house anymore.... Day 2, the house smelled again.... Day 3, even more cigarette smoke. At that point, I had a fit and told DH that if he doesnt put a stop to it and if his father couldn't repsect the health of his unborn grandchild, I would to get someone else to work on our basement! (We are paying my FIL a good amount of money to do this work. BTW, did I mention that my FIL doesn't even smoke in his own home yet he chooses to smoke in ours!)

So, it is now 2 weeks later and DH swears that they are not smoking. Since DH often works from home, he has been able to keep an eye on them. Today, however, DH had to go to the office. I got home from work and I smelled a trace of cigarette smoke once again! I went down to the basement and found a whole bunch of cigarette butts and all of the windows wide open to air out the basement. I am livid and to top it all off, DH just told me that I am overreacting and that he cannot babysit my FIL & his team all of the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am going to talk to my FIL myself later on tonight. This cannot go on! How dare he smoke in MY HOME - especially while I AM PREGNANT!!!

Thanks for letting me vent....


****************************
UPDATE:

Wasn't able to speak to my FIL last night but I woke up to a house filled with the stench of cigarette smoke this morning. DH went down to talk to his dad & the workers because I was livid. They ave him a hard time because it is raining outside!!!!!!!!!!

I went downstairs, got into a HUGE FIGHT with my FIL and now DH is telling me that I was rude to hiis dad and that I am turning this into a bigger deal than it is.

I am LIVID!! I left my house and I am spending the day at my mother's. I cannot put up with this right now!!!

I think I am going to give my MIL a call and talk to her. And DH is really going to get it tonight when I come back home!

Message edited 3/13/2010 10:26:35 AM.

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

oh my gosh! that is so so so so so terrible and disrespectful. i can't believe he would do such a thing.


i'm sorry you have to deal with this! but stick to your guns! you are in no way wrong here!

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

UGH I would be so annoyed too...that is just not right. You have every right to be angry/upset and I do not think you are overreacting at all! Things like this are always touchy when it's a family member but like you said the health of your unborn child is most important! Do what you have to do!

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

If it were me, I would absolutely confront him (probably not in the nicest way either!)!!!! I cannot believe that he would DARE smoke in your home, regardless of you being pregnant or not - but it makes it that much worse because you are PG!

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this, good luck and let us know how it works out.

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

You are in no way overreacting. As the PP said, it is VERY disrespectful for him to be smoking in your home, regardless of you being pregnant. Especially since he doesn't in his own home and you've already spoken to them about it. They are blatantly disregarding your wishes. I would speak to FIL, and let him know if your non smoking rule is that difficult to follow, you will find someone else to finish your basement who won't have a problem with it! How utterly disrespectful, I would be livid!!!!

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

Honestly, YOU need to have an honest discussion with your FIL. I would. Tell him straight out that his smoking is NOT welcome in your home.period.
tell him that if he cannot respect your home, then you will find another contractor. I know it might seem harsh but you and your child's health MUST come first. The smoke will be IN the floors, walls, paint. You will NEVER get that out if you don't stop it now.
Also you and DH need to discuss how you will handle going to HIS house with your baby. My DH and I went to his father's house ONCE (talk about chain smoking) and we left within 1 hour and NEVER returned again. My mom is a smoker as is my brother. We do not allow our children in their homes. My children do not go into their cars EVER. It might seem harsh but having a child sick from smoking related illness is worse to me so it is their choice to continue this habit.

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

WOW.....I would get someone else do to it at this point. You are paying him to do work in your house.....he should respect your wishes.

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

I think you have every right to be as angry as you are! I would totally flip out if anyone lit a cigarette in my house and I used to smoke so I think I tend to be more forgiving of smokers in general. However, their smoking inside your home is just unbelievable to me, especially since youre pregnant.

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

you deserve to vent away!

I can't even stand 3rd hand smoke....so after the 2nd time I would have said something right then and there!

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

Wow, I would be sooo angry! I think you should confront him....

Re: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

My dad smokes, never in the house though always outside. When I lived with them I would hang out with him on the front porch and he would smoke and it would sometimes get in my face.

NOW that im preganant though, when I go over he NEVER would have the nerve to smoke next to me. IF he did I would straight out tell him "Dad put it out for now because its bad for me and the baby".

You need to tell your father in law DIRECTLY!!

Re: UPDATED: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

And the saga continues.... updated on top!

I cannot believe that I am going through this in my own home and that my FIL is to blame and that DH isn't supporting me as he should!

Re: UPDATED: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

def talk to the mil. say that its dr orders not to have smoking in the house or even by a window in the house.

Re: UPDATED: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

I would react the same way- that is extremely rude and disrespecful to your health and the baby's health. Second hand smoke can do just as much damage as if you were smoking yourself. You were completely in the right here and I wouldn't drop it until they stop.

When the baby arrives, you're going to have to make sure he doesn't hold your LO after smoking, becasuse they'll breath that in too.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Re: UPDATED: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

Posted by BabysMomma29

I would react the same way- that is extremely rude and disrespecful to your health and the baby's health. Second hand smoke can do just as much damage as if you were smoking yourself. You were completely in the right here and I wouldn't drop it until they stop.

When the baby arrives, you're going to have to make sure he doesn't hold your LO after smoking, becasuse they'll breath that in too.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Re: UPDATED: Second hand smoke....(Long vent, sorry)

Who the heck does he think he is?

I would tell DH to fire him and his crew and hire some other contractor to finish the work.

Totally disrespectful.

You are not overreacting at all. Just kick him out next time. Just tell him if he cannot respect you and your home he cannot be there.

Smoking is the #1 killer of all time. It effects every molecule of your body. If he wants to kill himself, good for him but he is not permitted to do it to you.

Don't allow it and if you have to take matters into your own hands, do so.