Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

I've thought about this in the past, and wondered what others think. And by better mother, I mean better than you would have been if you hadn't gone down this road (not comparing yourself to other people).

For me, I think it is 100% true. I am a totally different mother today than I would have been if I had gotten pregnant in the first couple of tries. From the moment I POAS and saw that BFP, everything changed. I made it my mission in life to do the very best for my baby, from the start of conception (in a petri dish ). I didn't want to take a single chance on something we worked so hard for and took so long to achieve.

What do you ladies think? Has it changed you in that way?

Message edited 12/31/2011 10:48:36 AM.

Re: Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

I don't necessarily think that going through IF will make me a better mother, as I will probably make a lot of the same parenting decisions that I would have if I had gotten pregnant easily, but I think that it certainly makes me appreciate the gift of having a child a whole lot more. In that way, I might end up having more patience when dealing with difficult situations.

Re: Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

i feel like infertility in addition to my birth experience completely changed how i am as a mother, for good and for bad..

the good - i appreciate every single second i look at my DD. when shes fussy, when she poops everywhere, not for a second so far have i ever felt like it wasn't absolutely amazing that she's here. at least once a day my DH and I stop and stare at her in disbelief of everything we went through and that she is here and so amazingly beautiful and perfect. she is our living doll and we can't even comprehend how we made something so amazing. we tell her all the time about how hard we worked to have her here and how she is such a fighter and how she saved mommys uterus by flipping breech. ive never been so appreciative of anything in my life. i also have a really different perspective on life than i had before all of this. my entire life has changed, my goals have changed, and my personality has changed, all of which i hope, are in good ways.

the negative - i have terrible separation anxiety. i absolutely hate leaving her at all. we had to leave her in the NICU for a month, and every time we left i cried. i couldnt leave unless she was sleeping because i didnt want her to see us leaving her there. it broke my heart. i never thought i would be one who wouldnt want someone else to watch my kid here and there, but honestly i HATE it. i know that's normal to a point but I know that my case of it is def not normal. what it took to get her here is def to blame for the amount of separation anxiety i feel. but again, it is allllllllllll worth it and i would do it all again exactly the same if it meant i ended up with my DD

Re: Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

No, not really. It has definetly made me appreciate being a mother probaby more than others who didn't have to struggle. But I think I would have been the same mother if I didn't have to try so hard. I am actually a really chill and relaxed mom- not overly protective of my little miracle. But he's my world and everything I do, I do for him.

Re: Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

I wouldn't say it made me a better mother. As a mom to an almost 3 year old and a 16 month old, you bet I am not the mother I want to be at times.

However, with that said, having gone through what we did to have our two blessings, I have a greater appreciation for what I have.

Re: Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

I just think that it will make me appreciate all of the small things a bit more than some other mommmy's who get preggo with no problem. I will take all of the crying, poopy diapers, puking and everything that comes along with it and try to keep a smile on because of the road we took to get here.

Re: Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

I say that I will be the most calm mom in the playground who never yells.. and I'll think my kid is cute even when he plays soccer in the house and knocks down glass centerpieces... or accidentally pees all over my bathroom floor at the age of 9 because he was too lazy to turn on the lights in the middle of the night

My kid will do no wrong

Re: Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

Posted by PennyCat

I say that I will be the most calm mom in the playground who never yells.. and I'll think my kid is cute even when he plays soccer in the house and knocks down glass centerpieces... or accidentally pees all over my bathroom floor at the age of 9 because he was too lazy to turn on the lights in the middle of the night

My kid will do no wrong

Re: Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

I think that once you have the baby and life sets in and you're "adjusted" to the new addition, that you are the same as you would have been. It's hard to control instincts on how you'd react to things.

But, I think being pregnant, I'm more appreciative and taking it in stride. I've gained more weight than I'd have liked to, but I'll take it! I am tired, but I keep going because this is what I wanted! When I hear friends that got pregnant on first try complain about weight gain or peeing all the time or not being able to drink, I think about how I have been wanting those things for years! The weight will come off, I'll be drinking again and my energy will eventually return, and in place of it all, I'll have a - totally worth it!!!

Re: Do you think infertility will make/has made you a better mother?

not necessarily a better mom - because i feel either way i would have been a good mommy! :)

however- it made me a better preggo, i am so grateful for my gifts of my twins...all the pregnany symptoms are a cake walk to me.

compared to infertility, pregnancy is an absolute joy ride. I LOVE it. I am happy every day, and love to feel them moving in my belly. it is the absolute best feeling.

Like they say, those that worked hard to attain a goal and took the long road gain a higher level of satisfaction than those who it was easy for.

I definitely have that level of satisfaction - and then some!!!

I am also very open about my journey - and you would not believe the amont of people who have opened up to me about thier IF struggle. Those people need me - and I am so happy to help them and support them..and understand them...so if that is why a higher power made me endure this journey- it was all worth it.