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TooMuchDrama
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 188 total posts
Name:
B
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Change of plans
DH and I were planning on TTC in June. Last night, he told me he wants to wait, due to some health issues (don't want to get into specifics) he's having, and he said he wants to make sure he's better before we try. While I completely agree and understand, I'm still disappointed. I mean, we've been set on June for probably close to a year. I had been going through my summer clothes, wondering what's still going to fit if I did get pregnant, and knowing I wouldn't be wearing these same clothes next winter. He said he wants to "revisit the idea in 6 months", and that "maybe we'll have a Christmas baby", meaning maybe we'll wait til December to TTC. He was the one who was so set on June, and he thought I was going to push it back. I'm trying to not be angry with him, because his reasons are so valid, but I guess it's just that since we were so set on this for so long, it was just kind of something that was going to happen 5 months from now, and now it's not. It's not like he said he never wants to have kids....it's just being pushed back. So I keep reminding myself of that and telling myself that it's just going to be a little bit longer. 
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Posted 1/23/11 10:23 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: Change of plans
Did you tell him how you feel?
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| Posted 1/23/11 10:46 AM |
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MrsH2009
Thank you St. Gerard!
Member since 8/09 6631 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Change of plans
It seems you both agree there are valid reasons to push it back, but does it have to be a whole 6 months. Why don't you take it as a case to case basis after June?
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| Posted 1/23/11 10:52 AM |
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Re: Change of plans
 I'm sorry! It is disappointing when you have your heart set on beginning to TTC and plans change.
Have you had friends have issues getting pregnant or with miscarriages? I ask because before me and my friends had those issues, I noticed everyone had the perception that they'd get pregnant right away and would beging "planning" before they even TTC. But, now, in our 30's having had 2 m/c myself and with friends having m/c, ectopic pregnancies, IVF, IUI, etc. things are different. Would your DH feel differently if he knew it could take 6 months to 1 year or longer to conceive? I believe, but don't quote me, that the average time to conceive is 8 months or so. Not knowing his health issues, I can't say what's the right decision for you and your DH. But, maybe talk to him about the fact that it may take time to conceive and maybe he'd meet you in the middle and start trying in Aug or Sept. Good Luck!! 
Message edited 1/23/2011 10:54:44 AM.
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| Posted 1/23/11 10:54 AM |
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TooMuchDrama
LIF Infant
Member since 10/10 188 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Change of plans
Posted by SeptemberBride03
Have you had friends have issues getting pregnant or with miscarriages? I ask because before me and my friends had those issues, I noticed everyone had the perception that they'd get pregnant right away and would beging "planning" before they even TTC. But, now, in our 30's having had 2 m/c myself and with friends having m/c, ectopic pregnancies, IVF, IUI, etc. things are different. Would your DH feel differently if he knew it could take 6 months to 1 year or longer to conceive?
We actually each have a friend who had 2 children each by accident, so without knowing any differently, it would be easy for us to assume that's natural. However, I know (mainly from these boards) that it's not, and I always told DH that. I made a big deal about NOT telling people when we are TTC for that reason. But if I were one of those girls who does get pregnant right away, and we did start in June, then his feelings and wishes would not be honored. When he said "revisit the idea in 6 months", I thought he meant we'd talk about it in June and go from there. But then he said about a "Christmas baby", so that would be December. I'd be okay with waiting til August or September, but I guess that's what we'd have to discuss in June.
To answer the other questions, I kind of told him how I feel. He said he had been thinking about this for a while, and it came as a shock for me, so I didn't want to all of a sudden start being angry or overwhelming him with my feelings, which would have made him feel bad. I know he's made this decision for the best reasons, and I need to respect that. It's just hard right now.
I do think doing it on a month by month basis is the best idea. Come June, we'll see how he's doing, and maybe everything will end up being better by then, and we can start in July.
Thanks ladies for your support!
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| Posted 1/23/11 11:04 AM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
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Re: Change of plans
I hate when things like that happen, a lot could happen btw now and June. 
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| Posted 1/23/11 11:30 AM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: Change of plans
im sorry you're going through this. i was disappointed that DH didnt want to start when we had originally talked about (feb)... Hopefully DH will overcome his medical issues and you guys will come up with a date you're both happy with.
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| Posted 1/23/11 11:36 AM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Change of plans
I know exactly how you feel. We had originally talked about starting to TTC sometime in 2010 but DH ended up getting laid off in July which threw our plans out the window. It sucks but the time will go by in no time.
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| Posted 1/23/11 11:01 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Change of plans
im sorry..i wish dh would change his mind for you but i think its important u both be in 100 percent when u decide to try
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| Posted 1/23/11 11:56 PM |
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kelkel09
Love my twins!!!
Member since 6/10 5183 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Change of plans
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| Posted 1/24/11 8:09 AM |
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