becoming bitter

So I have reached the point where I am bitter and I hate that about myself! I used to be happy when hearing about other people's pregnancy, but now just the thought that someone may be pregnant gets me so upset/bitter/angry! I have a feeling a relative of mine may be pregnant, and its not a competition or anything, but I just wanted to be pregnant first. Anyway, we were at a party and I kept an eye on her to see if she was drinking, and when she said no my heart sank.... Now I am not sure she is pregnant, but it is just the thought that she may be!

Also, one of my friends who I have not seen in a while, for some reason I just have a gut feeling she is pregnant. Nothing has been said, or even hinted but it is just a gut feeling and it is making me sick at the thought that she may be pregnant.

What has happened to me? What is going on? I hate the person I have become. I miss being happy when I hear that people are pregnant.


Thanks for letting me vent...

I swear I am not a horrible person

Re: becoming bitter

You're not, its natural to feel this way. Vent away dear :)

Re: becoming bitter

I hear you. Don't feel bad.

I went through these feelings several months ago. It was like everyone planned to be pregnant at the same time and forgot to tell me to join in. But I'm over it now. It was the initial shock of "oh my God, everyone is pregnant" and now I'm back to 100% focusing on my own life and reminding myself that life is not a competition, the grass isn't greener, etc. etc. It's just that when it's something you decide you want to do, and you want it to happen right away, you then become hyper-sensitive about it.

For me, coming to terms with the fact that conceiving and making it stick is not something entirely in my control was not entirely easy, but I'm trying. Life's too short to go through it feeling bitter.

Also, you never know what others have to go through to get pregnant. It may seem to you like it just happened, but that may not be the case.

Message edited 12/7/2010 10:42:07 AM.

Re: becoming bitter

Re: becoming bitter

Aww its ok! I dont feel bitter but I do feel jealousy when people annouce their pregnancies. In the last two weeks I was hit with 3!!!!!!!!!

Re: becoming bitter

Totally normal

Everyone I know is pregnant...I mean EVERYONE!

While I am happy for all of them, I cant help but think "why not me too?" "whats wrong with me?"

Re: becoming bitter

u r not a horrible person!!!!!!!!!!!

i have been there..my best friend is preggo..6 of my good friends,some that i met on here r preggo..its every where..my brother inlaw's sister just got preggo..

it hurts it stinks but i just try to keep my head high..cause i know i know with all my heart it will happen and when it does i will deserve it a smuch as they did and they will be happy for dh an I

i know its hard,try not to beat urself up..u r only human and ttc is a crazy sometimes very sad process

we will get there

Re: becoming bitter

Trust me I know exactly how you feel. :
:

Re: becoming bitter

Posted by babywish10

Trust me I know exactly how you feel. :
:

Re: becoming bitter

Posted by Shelleybean11

Posted by babywish10

Trust me I know exactly how you feel. :
:

Me too. This process can definitely make you bitter

Re: becoming bitter

Re: becoming bitter

It is normal. I have 2 children already and when I hear someone is pg I get a pang of jealousy. I am grateful that I have my 2 beautiful children and that they are healthy but DH and I so badly want to add a 3rd. When my BF told me last week that she was pg after trying for 1 month (her 2nd dc) I was a tad bitter because I have been trying for 4 months and nothing yet. This is the 2nd time she got pg quickly the 1st time it took her 2 months. (we were both trying at the same time then too) While it took me 1 year to get pg with my dd. It is hard and I think it is a very normal emotion. Of course I am happy for her and I didn't let my sadness be known to her.

Re: becoming bitter