Sort of advice- Never had a buring desire to be a mom.

Hi Ladies.

So I have been asking questions, and getting ready to TTC. I have read a lot of your stories both on TTC and MC boards.

I feel like i need to get my brain ready as well as my body.

I just turned 40. Just got married. Life is great. I have NEVER had a buring desire to be a mom. I would LOVE to have a family with my DH. But I wont sit here and say im not frightened out my pants! Being pregnant, giving birth, then raising the little petri dish. (thats what we call my neice affectionatly).

But its something I would welcome and love.

I know this has been said a million times and I just had some thoughts I wanted to share.

What if? What if I cant get PG? What if, at 40, my body says "hell no". Do we want to start IVF, IUI etc? Do we go to specialist?

I just dont know. Im sure that if it does not happen withing 6 months we certainly will go to a specialist to see whats up.

But my husband and I made a pact and vow to eachother. We promised that if it didnt happen we would not get crazy over it. We would not have a strain on our marraige, and it would NOT do anything but make us stronger.

I cant tell you how badly I feel for all you ladies who have been trying for a while. I feel your pain and wish that you could have your dream. More than anything.

But I guess, maybe, my perspective MIGHT help a little. I dont want marraige stress. I have seen too many people break up because this doesen't happen. THAT is heartbreaking. I have seen too many women oose themselves in grief and pity due to not being able to have children.

And believe me when I say I know it must be the most horrible, stressful, depressing and sucky thing to happen.

But dont forget who you are. Dont forget that your life is worth something even without kids. People love you DESPERATLY and want to share your life. Parents, friends, family. Dont loose sight of your whole life for this one thing.

(and again, im not saying this is trivial or "one thing" per se.)

By G-d, live your life and be happy. You may not have this blessing. The odds are REALLY against me. But yiu have SO much more as well.

Don't get so consumed that nothing else matters. Don't loose how much you like yourslef and the light and life you give to others.

And don't let it break you and your husband up.

I say keep the faith. I say live your life and be happy. I say look at today and the joy you have. Look at tomorrow and the wonders it will bring.

But don;t turn into something that has no joy and love and light. You are better than that, and you deserve to treat yourself like you would want otghers to treat you. GIve yourself a break and relax.

Again, I sit here not knowing what the future will be for me. And maybe if I had always wanted to be a mom I would feel differently. Im just sharing that even if it wont happen, don't loose yourslef in it.

And I send to everyone. May everything you dream come true.

Re: Sort of advice- Never had a buring desire to be a mom.

Thank you and to you as well. I that every woman on this board gets what their heart truly desires. And I know women that successfully conceived over 40, so please don't give yourself stress before you find out if you need to. In fact, my sister was a "surprise" and my mom was 41.

Re: Sort of advice- Never had a buring desire to be a mom.

Posted by MrsH2009

Thank you and to you as well. I that every woman on this board gets what their heart truly desires. And I know women that successfully conceived over 40, so please don't give yourself stress before you find out if you need to. In fact, my sister was a "surprise" and my mom was 41.

Re: Sort of advice- Never had a buring desire to be a mom.

good insight. i have recently decided that i am not going to waste today living for tomorrow. Last month when AF came i was beyond devastated. I was depressed for 2 days. Then all of a sudden I was like I'm making my days and nights miserable when I am not even promised tomorrow. I need to live my life, yet still hold onto my hopes and dreams. There are just so many things that could happen in life, we must be thankful for what we have here and now.

Re: Sort of advice- Never had a buring desire to be a mom.

Hence why my new theme song is "Dynomite" because "I wanna celebrate and live my life!" I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and stressing out, it WILL happen.



If us "seniors" can stay positive, everybody's gotta give it a try!