Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

So here's my story, I feel that I can be honest with you ladies. I hope it doesn't offend anybody.

I have a 2yo DS who was conceived naturally after 6 months of well-timed intercourse using OPKs and temping. I know some people will say that 6 months of trying is not that long, but I always felt that something was wrong. My temping indicated a luteal phase that was on the shorter side (9-10 days) and I always spotted about 4-5 days before AF.

Fast forward to now. We've been trying for DC #2 for 7 months with 1 chemical pregnancy and 1 failed cycle of IUI with Clomid.

All testing has come back normal for both DH and me. Since IUI #1 failed I've been thinking about what our course of action will be. Do I move on to IVF after 2 more tries with IUI? At that point it will be 9 months of TTC with no medical indication that anything is wrong.

I almost feel like I haven't suffered through TTC long enough to move to IVF, if that makes sense. I think my main concern is that BIL and SIL are now pregnant due to IVF and they were trying for 5 years. Am I belittling their struggles by moving to IVF after only 9 months?

I hope I don't offend anyone here because I know that many of you have had much longer struggles than I have. Maybe this is why secondary infertility is so underdiagnosed - you don't really believe that you could have a problem after already conceiving a child.

If you have made it this far thank you. Please be honest, I can take it!

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

i am almost in the same shoes as you..

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all in my opinion.. i always thought i was being selfish for myself as far as doing IVF and "jumping the gun"
but i realized that dealing with secondary IF is not easy, and with IUI's not working.. etc.. its time to move onto IVF.
for me it was just time.. i did have some mild egg quality issues too.. so that did push me more to do the iVF.

but i dont think you are wrong at all for wanting to do IVF.. there is not set time for Trying naturally.. or how many IUI's to do before IVF.. its all personal decisions..

do what is best for you and DH..

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

I can somewhat empathize with where you are coming from. I am 30 years old but have never been pregnant. I too had a luteal phase defect which is what prompted me to go to an RE after 7 months of trying. And when I say trying I mean TRYING.

Only after going to the RE for MY problems did we find that DH has some issues as well (low count and very poor morphology). After finding this out I was thanking my lucky stars that we didn't wait an entire year before going to the RE and starting this process. We are doing our 3rd round of unmedicated IUIs this month. After this we are moving onto IVF.

I too had the same thoughts! Is it too soon? We haven't even been trying a year yet. However, we personally feel that 3 rounds of IUI is enough for us. That is a personal decision. We are lucky enough to have coverage for IVF. If we didn't, I don't think we would be so fast to move on.

It seems like you may have a better chance of getting pregnant by IUI since as you said you already have successfully conceived a child and hopefully this is not a decision you will have to make. Only you and your DH know what is right for you and your individual situation, how far you want to take this. IVF is not something to be taken lightly by any means and it sounds like you are most definitely taking it seriously. It is an exhausting process but isn't any fight against infertility exhausting?

Sometimes with all that is going on we forget why we are doing all of this. The goal is to get pregnant - and if you are successful via IUI or IVF it really doesn't matter. In the end, no matter what road we take we will all hopefully get to the same destination.

Message edited 9/16/2009 11:28:53 AM.

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

I am pregnant with an IVF baby so I get the desire to move quickly. I only did two IUIs (only one with clomid). However, I had never been pregnant before.

If I were you, I would do more IUIs. Why? Because if you get pregnant with IVF you will have to be on tons of meds for the first trimester, you increase your chances of birth defects with ivf, and you will put your body through a lot of stress that you could avoid if you got pregnant with an IUI or naturally.

I would give it a few more months. You already have all the test results that suggest you are fine. you also have proof that you can get pregnant!

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

You didn't mention how old you are. I think that is an important factor in deciding whether or not to move ahead with IVF. I had unexplained IF and did 5 rounds of IUI with Clomid and injections before moving to IVF right before turning 34. I now have a 4 month old DD from my first IVF. IVF definitely increases your odds of success but it's a major undertaking so do your research and make an informed decision.

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

I know you said that all your test came back normal, but did your Dr. check your estrogen and progesterone during the 2WW after your IUI?

If you are not over 35 and are able to get pregnant but it doesn't stick (with the chemical), maybe they should think about adding some kind of hormone treatment along with the IUI.

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

It's totally a personal decision of when you and your DH are ready to move to IVF. There is no time line. Some people move fast, some take their time and than decide it's time to move on.

I never thought I would have done IVF this summer when I started TTC in the summer of '08. I started seeing the RE in Nov. '08 and began doing IUI's in Feb. 2009. After 3 failed IUI's (and no more IUI coverage), we were either going to take a break or move onto IVF, which was covered. We made the leap, it was a VERY hard decision to make- I had alot of fears, but in the end it was the best decision we made because we are now pregnant.

Good luck on your journey, hopefully you never need to make the IVF decision!

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

Its a very personal decision and everyone would not/does not choose the same route. My struggle was also secondary. We got pg with ds our first month not even really trying. This time around we got PG twice in 6 mos, but I lost both pregnancies at 5/6 weeks. That's when I started seeing an RE. It took another 6 mos to get PG again and now I am almost 11wks. We chose to stim and have timed intercourse because I felt our problem wasn't getting pregnant, but staying pregnant. I know most women opt for IUI's but unless you have very specific issues there really is no better chance of getting pg with IUI than there is the good old fashioned way. Some women/men feel its too much pressure to have to have sex, but for us it was the right choice. My point is you shouldn't feel like you aren't entitled to do what you want to do bc someone else suffered more or longer. Choose what works for you. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

Re: Am I jumping the gun by going to IVF?

If your really concerned and your insurance covers it go for it. It took me 2 years of trying with a Re and IUIs and timed Bd'ing with stims. I was really hesitant for IVf only b/c our insurance doesnt cover anything so we spent about 20,000 of our "house fund" on the ivf. We got Pg the first IVf cycle and i'm now so happy we did it. Its gonna be a while b4 we can buy our house now but it was worth it for us. If my insurance would've covered IVF we would've done it along time ago.