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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
We just found out my BIL and SIL have been TTC for some time now (DHs family isn't that close). Something was wrong with my BIL and now it's fixed, so hopefully they will get pregnant soon. Now I feel kind of bad starting to TTC soon cause if we were to get pregnant first, I worry it may be hard for my SIL. I know I shouldn't plan around others, but I can't help but worry about things because they've been trying for so long. Am I nuts?
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Posted 12/2/08 8:42 PM  |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
You're not nuts, you're being sensitive. That being said, I wouldn't hold off TTC because of their issues. If you do wind up pregnant before her, just be kind about it. You have every right to be excited, just try not to gloat. She will definitely have her own issues about it and be jealous in a way, but I'm sure she will genuinely be happy for you.
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| Posted 12/2/08 8:48 PM |
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SuperLRN
Im a big boy now
Member since 5/08 2527 total posts
Name:
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
Posted by nferrandi
You're not nuts, you're being sensitive. That being said, I wouldn't hold off TTC because of their issues. If you do wind up pregnant before her, just be kind about it. You have every right to be excited, just try not to gloat. She will definitely have her own issues about it and be jealous in a way, but I'm sure she will genuinely be happy for you.
I completely agree. Dont hold off TTC for anyone.
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| Posted 12/2/08 8:56 PM |
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
I think you are being very thoughtful taking into account your SIL's issues and worrying about her emotional being. However, if you and your DH are ready to TTC, you should absolutely go for it. You unfortunately cannot base your life around other people, and I am sure your SIL would be happy for you if you were preggo, considering how much you genuinely care about her feelings, which is very sweet.
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| Posted 12/2/08 10:04 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
From someone who had many issues and took 2 years and lots of invasivie means to get pregnant.. you cannot put your life on hold because of what someone else is going through.
After we had been trying for a long time, my sister started to TTC (she knew we were having problems), she got pregnant immediately and it took us another year and a half. I never would have asked her or expected her to put that on hold. It's her life, and I wasn't hurt by it at all.
ETA: I wouldn't say as a pp poster did that she will definately have issues and be jealous about it if you do get pregnant. Everyone is different. It may "sting" though for a while. I'm not saying this is the case for your SIL, but just because a couple is having a hard time conceiving, doesn't mean they get jealous and have issues when someone close to them gets pregnant.
Message edited 12/3/2008 7:23:09 AM.
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| Posted 12/3/08 7:20 AM |
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diva7531
My Peanut
Member since 2/07 5199 total posts
Name:
Ryan 3 boys EDD 11/6!
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
Posted by nferrandi
You're not nuts, you're being sensitive. That being said, I wouldn't hold off TTC because of their issues. If you do wind up pregnant before her, just be kind about it. You have every right to be excited, just try not to gloat. She will definitely have her own issues about it and be jealous in a way, but I'm sure she will genuinely be happy for you.
Exactly! Good Luck for both you and your SIL
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| Posted 12/3/08 7:24 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
I think you are a good person for being concerned. That said, I would not hold off on TTC for any reason if that is what DH and I want to do  
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| Posted 12/3/08 8:19 AM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
You're very sweet to consider her!
Don't hold off. Life goes on all around us.
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| Posted 12/3/08 8:31 AM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
Posted by MrsRbk
From someone who had many issues and took 2 years and lots of invasivie means to get pregnant.. you cannot put your life on hold because of what someone else is going through.
After we had been trying for a long time, my sister started to TTC (she knew we were having problems), she got pregnant immediately and it took us another year and a half. I never would have asked her or expected her to put that on hold. It's her life, and I wasn't hurt by it at all.
ETA: I wouldn't say as a pp poster did that she will definately have issues and be jealous about it if you do get pregnant. Everyone is different. It may "sting" though for a while. I'm not saying this is the case for your SIL, but just because a couple is having a hard time conceiving, doesn't mean they get jealous and have issues when someone close to them gets pregnant.
ITA.
You're being very sensitive and thoughtful and that's a great start. I am sure that if you DO get pregnant, your SIL will be very happy for you - even if she is hurting over her own situation.
Best of luck!
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| Posted 12/3/08 9:42 AM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
its very sweet that you have these feelings but like all the other girls said.. you cant change your TTC plans around anyone!
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| Posted 12/3/08 10:04 AM |
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bellaluna
Baby come on out!
Member since 11/08 1934 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
Posted by MrsMichStein1118
I think you are being very thoughtful taking into account your SIL's issues and worrying about her emotional being. However, if you and your DH are ready to TTC, you should absolutely go for it. You unfortunately cannot base your life around other people, and I am sure your SIL would be happy for you if you were preggo, considering how much you genuinely care about her feelings, which is very sweet.
ITA
I had the same concern with a dear friend of mine, but I just found out that she is 13 weeks preggo after a MC in June . You have to continue your plan , and as long as you are sensitive to her it should not be a problem .
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| Posted 12/3/08 10:12 AM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
I know exactly how you feel. My sister is ttc also, but they are having problems. I've been concerned about the day when we get our BFP since they have been trying longer, but I'm two years older than her and I really can't wait to see what happens with them. It's impossible not to feel guilty, but you have to do what is right for you and your DH.
HTH,
Kelly
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| Posted 12/3/08 6:07 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
While you are being sympathetic, you can't put your life on hold. What if it takes her 1, 2 or 3+ years?
It is sad when people have difficulties TTC but you can't hold your life to satisfy or be sensitive to everyone.
You have to do what if is right for YOUR family.
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| Posted 12/3/08 6:17 PM |
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JenMarie
One day at a time
Member since 11/07 7397 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: TTC when family is having trouble TTC?
Thanks everyone. I am definitely not going to wait, but was just feeling bad about what she may feel. They are moving to another state shortly, so we won't be around each other for our pregnancies, which makes me very sad, but can also help in this situation. We got engaged within 2 weeks of one another, married within one month of one another...so I wouldn't be surprised if we're pregnant together as well. I feel a little better about it though thanks to all of you.
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| Posted 12/3/08 11:55 PM |
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