Re: Ladies 30 and over...

I cant say i feel pressure bc i chose to wait until now to TTC bc i didnt wanta child when i wa sin my 20s. Im going to be 34 in a few wks and i feel at this point in my life, i have traveled ALOT, gotten far in my career, etc etc and im not letting myself play the age game. This is how it is and theres nothing i can do. Changing my age is impossible so i will work w/ what ive got. I do not regret waiting until now.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

I'll be 30 in Sept and I do not feel pressure. I think that I am healthy, in good shape, ovulate regularly and will eventually get pregnant. I don't think the doctor was wrong in saying you'd want to get started b/c it's a fact that our fertility decreases w/ age however I think everyone will get there at their own pace. Plenty of women in their 40's are having babies so I guess that's why at 30 I don't feel like I have a timer on me.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

Don't worry - I'm 36 and am pregnant now with my first children (twins). I know how it feels, but the reality is that many women are getting married later and therefore trying to get pg later. I did not get married until I was 33, and started TTC-ing when I was 34, going on 35. It took me 5-6 months to get pg, but had a m/c. Then got pg again 5 months later.

I wish you all the best - I agree that the drs might just want to advise patients that it could be more challenging as you get older, although I still feel that everyone is different and I do know women in the their late 30's and early 40's who easily got pg.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

IMO, you need to get that number (30) out of your head. I was 31 when I got PG and gave birth a week after turning 32. We are currently TTC'ing for #2 and I have a go with the flow attitude about it, like I did the first time around.

GL!

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

After 30???? I am 27, and the sec we got married (which was LY mind you) everyone started asking us...

So annoying...

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

I think it is added pressure we put on ourselves.
The only thing that concerns me now that I just turned 30 is I was recently diagnosed with a thryoid disorder and I am diabetic so those are issues that could be pose potential issues. I just do not think I have achieved everything I want to do or see yet. Maybe in another year.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

YES YES YES!!! I will be 34 soon and started TTC when I was 32. My biological clock is in overdrive!!!

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

Oh my goodness, I definitely feel pressure. I know that there are many women who get pregnant until 40, but I am concerned. I am 33. My doctor told me last year, before i was even engaged, that I should try to have a baby even though i am not married, b/c of my age. Eesh. I definitely feel the pressure.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

I feel pressure, but only b/c of the number. I am just not ready right now and I don't know when I will be ready.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

I will be 35 this summer. The only thing she has ever told me is that I have an extremely small cervix. But never told me that I am getting too old.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

Posted by Lucky09

Posted by lipglossjunky73

I was 32 when I got pregnant. Look how many young women are having difficulty. There are many of us who had babies well into our thirties. I just began dating dh At 30!

Thank you

I do feel the pressure though. I turn 31 soon, and if I hadn't had a MC in February I would have had DC by the time I am 31. I worry a lot about getting back in shape after my pregnancy. DH literally told me that I have to get back in shape Post-baby because he "doesn't want to have to go on viagara".

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

yes, i feel pressure. more from myself, but let's be honest, we know that the health risks are greater over the age of 30 and fertility for men and women decreases with age. also, soo many people have fertility issues, and sometimes the only way you find that out, is by trying. i would hate to wait and then disocver that. Of course, thousands of people have babies in their 30's, but to me, i feel like i need to get moving on this. i only got married at 30, and i'm 31 now, so i am not beating myself up over it, but we will be TTC after i heal from my surgery.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

I have received advice that it is better to have kids at a younger age because it's much easier to get back into shape if you are in your 20's. Also been told it's not about being fertile and having the baby but having less energy when they get a little older.

I had always wanted to be a young mom. I think I already missed that boat.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

Yes, when I went for my 6 week pp visit my OB reminded me that I was turning 32 in a few weeks and I shouldn't wait too much longer than 1- 1 1/2 years if I planned on having #2. I also have PCOS so that makes it harder in the first place too.

Message edited 5/29/2008 11:46:32 AM.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

Honestly, I am 30 and I think that's pretty young! We got married at 26. I wasn't ready any sooner. We plan to start trying next Fall. I really don't care what anyone thinks or comments about "Wow, you've been married three years and no babies yet!" How about, "Hey, it's so great that you guys are fulfilled and enjoying each other and haven't felt the need yet." 30 is young, and very healthy age!

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

I am turning 37 in June and have been trying for 3 years, so I do definitely feel pressure. When I first brought this up with my OB/GYN I was almost 35 and she said I was young! As a matter of fact, people are still saying that to me...which is kind of annoying since I don't think they realize how old I am.
But turning 30 is definitely not getting old!

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

I don't think that what the ob/gyn said is inappropriate at all. It is a fact that as you get older it becomes more difficult to conceive and I think he was just making the OP aware of that. Of course, there are many women in their late 30s and 40s who conceive with no problem and there are women in their 20s who have infertility problems. However, no one knows what category they will fall into until they start trying. It has become very common in recent years for women to think they have plenty of time only to realize that they cannot conceive. I think it is medically responsible for anyone's doctor to make them aware of this possibility.

I knew I had to get started earlier (at 29) as my mom started full blown menopause at 41.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

this whole thread is p!ssing me off. not the responses, just the fact that the whole idea exists at all AND that it is based in fact just makes me angry at the injustice of it all.

i hate the term "pressure". to me, that implies we're in a rush to have babies just because everyone else is doing it. i know that's not always the case, but sometimes it is and that is the WRONG reason to want to have a baby. i'm not saying YOU guys want babies for that reason, it is obvious that you don't, just making a general statement.

i've struggled with this a lot, asking myself if i really want to have a child or if i just want to be a part of the "club". the fact is, i STILL don't have an answer and i have stopped feeling "pressured". i had to stop, because i was so stressed out and upset all the time it was making me sick. will i wait to decide until the decision is made for me and wake up at 50, in the middle of menopause, regretting my "decision" with everything i'm made of? possibly. am i just plain scared? probably.

i'm going to be 35 in 2 months. i've had 2 miscarriages since january. my husband is going to be 38 this year. if i had met him when i was 24, i would have spent at least 10 years with just him and i, travelling and just being together. it makes me very angry if i sit and think about it. i feel cheated.

anyway, i voiced these same concerns to my OBGYN when we had the TTC talk and she practically laughed at me. she said i had nothing to worry about and that she had her babies in her late 30's and they were both fine with no problems. i'm sorry your doctor gave you another thing to stress over. that's unfair.....

wow....i really went off on a rant, huh? i'm pretty emotional lately....i just get so mad about all of this sometimes. we shouldn't be forced to become mothers before we are ready just because our eggs are shrivelling up and dropping like flies. i know there is nothing we can do about it but it just makes me so p!ssed off.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

I don't feel any pressure at all. I never wanted to have a child in my 20's.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

Message edited 5/29/2008 9:48:58 PM.

Re: Ladies 30 and over...

that is true...and no matter what my OBGYN said to me,i am still afraid. you're absolutely right, i was just trying to show another side of the argument, but i don't even know why as it goes without saying that all of us already know the risks no matter what any doctor says....