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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
i've had my beautiful baby girl kitty since september. she lived outside for about 3 years before that. she got hurt, my aunt caught her and i took her in. she was a stray, not my aunt's cat even though she would feed her (she has 8 of her own so she couldn't bring her in)
my girl has calmed down a lot but is still ridiculously jumpy. it's like she wants to be friendly but doesn't know how. she'll cry to me so i'll go over to pet her and she'll run away. she hides when she sees anyone other than me and PANICS if she hears someone.
she is terrified of DH who is allergic so he can't go near her. (he's getting shots). i play with her, brush her, talk to her constantly and show her as much love as i can. she even lets me cut her nails!
but she is still frightened of her own shadow. i have to literally capture and trick her to hold her. once i have her, if it's just the 2 of us, she'll stay with me for a while. but she has no idea how to cuddle. she has no idea how to sleep on me. she is terrified of windows, couches (except for the one she scratches!) and hides under the bed or couch all day long.
anyone have any ideas or advice for what i can do to help socialize her? i love her with all my heart and it breaks my heart to see her like this. i know she's happier being inside but i think she's so confused and upset. i've bought "calming" oil to plug into the wall, tried sprays and just plain old patience. she has no positive kitty role model and due to DH's allergy there's no chance of getting a second kitty--i'm so lucky i have her!!
i desperately want her to be "normal". i love her SO MUCH. please help  
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Posted 1/16/08 8:30 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Message edited 11/15/2011 9:54:16 PM.
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| Posted 1/16/08 8:34 PM |
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reggie
I love my boys!!
Member since 5/05 8044 total posts
Name:
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Would you adopt another cat? She might learn from copying another cat's behavior.
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| Posted 1/16/08 9:15 PM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Posted by reggie
Would you adopt another cat? She might learn from copying another cat's behavior.
i wish i could. i always wanted a houseful of cats
but DH is allergic. he's been getting shots for over a year but still isn't much better. we just can't get another one due to his health. i'm so lucky that i'm able to have her.
someone must have some ideas somewhere
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| Posted 1/16/08 9:26 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Message edited 11/15/2011 9:56:01 PM.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:01 PM |
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LifeIsGreat
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/07 400 total posts
Name:
Ruth
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
She has been a feral cat for three years and they revert back to wild state. She may have started out as domestiic but was lost or dumped, because she does have some social skills. There are many situations where an individual owned a cat that has always been indoors and then either that person marries or shares his/her home with another and the cat cannot or does not adjust to the second person. Sometimes it is just the cat. Give the cat time, it will work out. And if by some chance, she does not come around it is okay, she is inside and safe with you.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:09 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
When we first got my cat Scout, she was very very skittish. We adopted her as a kitten, so I'm pretty sure it's just her personality.
She would only come to me at first. She would hide whenever people came over (she still does, actually, 3 years later). She only recently started coming over to my husband to let him pet her.
But she is still jumpy, and I guess she always will be. In the 3 years that we've had her, she's warmed to us a lot...and she is very loving and affectionate....but it has to be on her terms. She has to come to us to be pet. She has to allow it to happen. If we force it, she freaks, and we usually wind up with a scratch.
So my advice....give her time. It may be the circumstances she was living in, it may be her personality. But try not to force her to behave a different way.
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| Posted 1/16/08 10:16 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
aww---i don't have great advice on this--my cat was from a feral mother--and we found him when he was a baby--so he's socialized..and my sister's kitten was found at like 3 months old and came around with no problem
since you kitty was wild for so long--there's that chance she may never come around fully---but at least she has you and is comfortable around you for the most part.
just wanted to offer some
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| Posted 1/16/08 11:29 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
I had a cat like this. She was an outside cat who was abused, thrown up in teh air by boys on the block. I rescued her when I was 10 years old and took her in (she was about a year old, and she was also pg with kittens). She also had a broken tail, which never recovered...
She was miserable in the house, even scratched through a screen to get outside again. After being caught and brought in again, she softened up in a year or two. Knowing she loved outside so much, I would take her out and sit out with her, while having her on a leash, so she could still bask in the sun. She really loved that. She would sit on the windowsills in the sunlight...oh she loved that so much. It was her one connection with the outside world that she loved, but would have not survived.
She wasn't the friendliest to most people, but loved me so much. She eventually did calm down once we neutured her (did you do that yet?), and in about 2 years or so after being in eventually seemed to get used to it. I loved this girl more than any cat I ever had...
I believe in time, she may calm down. She may not become super huggable, but she also will get used to her new life indoors. I give you a huge amt of credit for being so devoted to this girl. I understand entirely and think you saved her even though she may not seem that she wanted to be saved.
Message edited 1/17/2008 12:06:21 AM.
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| Posted 1/17/08 12:03 AM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
thanks for the replies and i will check out that link when i get home from work.
she was fixed several years ago when my aunt first caught her. she was pregnant with kittens and the doc aborted them.
i love her regardless. i grew up with a house load of cats (9 at a time!) so i'm very familiar with raising them, it's just i've never had a cat this out of touch. i'm being very patient with her and i know she needs time. i just wish there were things i could do to help her along.
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| Posted 1/17/08 7:21 AM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Try giving her a little treat and petting her at the same time.
She is letting you pet her and hold her at times, so she will learn. Some cats are more skittish than others and she may just be one of those.
Just give her as much love as you can and she should come around.
And good for you for rescuing her!
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| Posted 1/17/08 7:33 AM |
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Chrisnamy
Summer is coming soon
Member since 1/07 3991 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
I had a cat like this. Unfortunately she never really came around. Sorry no real advice. Good luck.
I have had two cats like that. I got them as strays and they never really came around.
You are doing the right thing but petting the cat and showing love.
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| Posted 1/17/08 10:53 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Posted by Gertyrae
Try giving her a little treat and petting her at the same time.
She is letting you pet her and hold her at times, so she will learn. Some cats are more skittish than others and she may just be one of those.
Just give her as much love as you can and she should come around.
And good for you for rescuing her!
I was going to suggest this as well. Being she was feral though, she may only learn to trust you. A friend of mine once rescued a feral cat and she was friendly to some people, but hissed and ran away from others. Its hard to completely domesticate them when they lived part of their life in the wild.
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| Posted 1/17/08 11:21 AM |
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!
Member since 7/06 10082 total posts
Name:
Meaning a NON ttcer!
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Posted by Palebride
When we first got my cat Scout, she was very very skittish. We adopted her as a kitten, so I'm pretty sure it's just her personality.
She would only come to me at first. She would hide whenever people came over (she still does, actually, 3 years later). She only recently started coming over to my husband to let him pet her.
But she is still jumpy, and I guess she always will be. In the 3 years that we've had her, she's warmed to us a lot...and she is very loving and affectionate....but it has to be on her terms. She has to come to us to be pet. She has to allow it to happen. If we force it, she freaks, and we usually wind up with a scratch.
So my advice....give her time. It may be the circumstances she was living in, it may be her personality. But try not to force her to behave a different way.
That describes my cat to a T.
She has gotten better but I don't think she will ever be fully friendly or comfortable.
I got her has a baby from a shelter- i belive she was born there or brought there shortly after birth.
Sometimes it's just a personality issue and I find it happens more with female cats than males...
No real advice- just wishing you luck!
Message edited 1/17/2008 12:06:41 PM.
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| Posted 1/17/08 12:05 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Sometimes it takes a bit longer than you think. Sounds like you are making progress, just remember that when you’re holding her and if you feel/hear her purr – realize she appreciates it.
My girl, Bonnie, (of my three) hates to be held in anyway and flinches when you go to pet her as if she expects a beating. She wants attention but isn’t very good at accepting it. We’ve had her over a year now with her brother, Clyde – who loves attention, but also doesn’t like to be held for long but at least he lets you try and my older cat Buddy who is average indoor kitty (aka lazy and non-caring).
Bonnie & Clyde were strays and we got them from Last Hope a year ago. I have come to live with the fact that this is their personalities. I still love them and now I just take extra pleasure in those moments they show us their attention and their acceptance of us. Every now and then Bonnie will let me pet her and not flinch. Its progress.
When I see her sunbathe and lounge on my recently vacated spot in bed (enjoying my remaining warmth) I think to myself “Man, that’s the life” and also I wonder how her life must have been before hand and now glad I am she’s off the streets.
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| Posted 1/17/08 4:07 PM |
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browneyedgirl
family is all that matters
Member since 6/06 6513 total posts
Name:
browneyes
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Posted by Gertyrae
Try giving her a little treat and petting her at the same time.
She is letting you pet her and hold her at times, so she will learn. Some cats are more skittish than others and she may just be one of those.
Just give her as much love as you can and she should come around.
And good for you for rescuing her!
can you believe she doesn't like treats???  i have 4 different kinds and she won't eat any! there are very few foods she will eat--mainly just regular dry food. she barely even likes wet food even though my aunt always gave it to her! and even though i've bought her a dozen toys, she doesn't know what to do with them so they've never been played with. my mom bought her a little mousie for christmas and she will actually play with it! i called everyone in my family when i first saw her use it because i was so proud of my baby!  
thanks everyone for the responses! i really do appreciate it. i love her so unbelievably much. she is my baby. i will NEVER give up. on days like this when it's cold and rainy i look at her and just thank everything i can that she's out of the elements and in a loving and safe home
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| Posted 1/17/08 8:00 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
I am glad you were able to get some good advice here. 
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| Posted 1/17/08 9:32 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: need ideas/help on "socializing" a former outdoor kitty (very long but please help!!!)
Posted by browneyedgirl
thanks everyone for the responses! i really do appreciate it. i love her so unbelievably much. she is my baby. i will NEVER give up. on days like this when it's cold and rainy i look at her and just thank everything i can that she's out of the elements and in a loving and safe home
You are very sweet.
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| Posted 1/17/08 11:51 PM |
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