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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
I just have to vent here because I am so furious! I've been struggling with breastfeeding so I joined a Facebook group BRAS- Breastfeeding Resources and Support on FB at the recommendation of a friend. Not only did I gain ZERO helpful advice but also I was removed from the group. Why? Because a fellow mother was heartbroken because while working full time she's not able to supply enough breast milk for her LO and may need to supplement with formula. I had the audacity to agree and say it's so hard and at the end of the day your mental health is more important to your baby than anything else. All other comments were useless like "just keep going", "yes it's hard but it's worth it!" And other crap like that. Any other comments that didn't urge the mother to continue to breastfeed exclusively at any cost were removed. Yes it's hard and more often than not it is worth it, but not at the risk of your sanity! Fed is best. And when I had the audacity to say that by not leaving women any wiggle room and saying breastfeed til you literally drop is detrimental to everyone involved, I was removed from the group. I'm furious for this poor mom who is looking for genuine support and got crap! This group is literally thousands strong and all these women are being told is breastfeeding is do or die. Sorry for the rant but I'm just so pissed off!
ETA: I just checked back- almost 14,000 members!
Message edited 1/13/2017 10:16:24 AM.
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Posted 1/13/17 10:12 AM  |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
That's the biggest issue with all those sites. I did not have the support needed when I was trying to breastfeed and I was clueless. Hugs mama fed is best but many moms don't agree or are just assholes.
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| Posted 1/13/17 10:27 AM |
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beachbabe
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/15 731 total posts
Name:
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Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
That's just insanity. No one should be pressured like that.
There's nothing wrong with formula or supplementing.
I feel bad for that lady!
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| Posted 1/13/17 10:27 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
Seriously! It's not just bad advice but potentially dangerous for mom and baby alike! None of my friends/family really "get" breastfeeding so I was just looking for a group to ask questions and seek some support, but it seems impossible!
Thanks for letting me vent, it really got to me this morning!
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| Posted 1/13/17 10:32 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
Posted by WannaBeAMom11
That's the biggest issue with all those sites. I did not have the support needed when I was trying to breastfeed and I was clueless. Hugs mama fed is best but many moms don't agree or are just assholes.
Seriously! I think I've done alright with pretty much googling every issue I've come across, but sometimes you just want to know you're not alone in how you feel and hear from someone else that it's okay and to do what you have to to survive. It's pretty much impossible to find a breastfeeding group like that. It shouldn't be do or die!
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| Posted 1/13/17 10:35 AM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
I tried that group with my second but it seems just too big for its own good. A lot of crappy advice was given.
There is a group called breastfeeding support of Southeast Suffolk that is wonderful. It used to be associated with LLL but the leader couldn't keep up with the fb group due to personal issues. She's still there though and there is another LC on there along with lots of informed and supportive moms. I don't find it pushy in that way at all! Even if you're not in the immediate area it's worth considering.
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| Posted 1/13/17 11:19 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
The biggest detriment to women is other women. I can't understand why we can't get behind one another and provide support instead of making each other feel guilty for not being "perfect."
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| Posted 1/13/17 11:25 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
Posted by MrsT809
I tried that group with my second but it seems just too big for its own good. A lot of crappy advice was given.
There is a group called breastfeeding support of Southeast Suffolk that is wonderful. It used to be associated with LLL but the leader couldn't keep up with the fb group due to personal issues. She's still there though and there is another LC on there along with lots of informed and supportive moms. I don't find it pushy in that way at all! Even if you're not in the immediate area it's worth considering.
Thank you! I'm in Nassau but I'll definitely keep it in mind. I'm trying to take a step back for now and just trusting my gut, but it's good to have a place I can turn to with hopefully a more open mind.
They would also delete any posts that had anything to do with babies starting solids under 6 months as it didn't fit their vision.  DD started at 5 months but I knew better than to put in my two cents on THAT issue. But you're right- they'd closely monitor posts like these and then leave bad advice up- like for breastfeeding moms to guzzle gatorade by the gallon to increase their supply. 
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| Posted 1/13/17 1:10 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
Posted by lululu
The biggest detriment to women is other women. I can't understand why we can't get behind one another and provide support instead of making each other feel guilty for not being "perfect."
Seriously, we need to stop tearing each other down in EVERY respect. It makes it easier for men to take advantage- like turn a blind eye or victim blame rape victims and attack reproductive rights. It's scary!
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| Posted 1/13/17 1:12 PM |
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Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
Try Long Island Bosom Buddies
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| Posted 1/13/17 1:18 PM |
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BsMomma2014
Fly high little one
Member since 6/10 2662 total posts
Name:
nicole
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
Posted by forgotmypassword
Try Long Island Bosom Buddies
I agree this is a great group!
I hate when people get shamed for formula feeding. As long as your baby is happy and healthy and you are happy and healthy that is ALL that matters.
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| Posted 1/13/17 1:21 PM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
Posted by BsMomma2014
Posted by forgotmypassword
Try Long Island Bosom Buddies
I agree this is a great group!
I hate when people get shamed for formula feeding. As long as your baby is happy and healthy and you are happy and healthy that is ALL that matters.
Thank you! I'm definitely going to look into them!
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| Posted 1/13/17 1:22 PM |
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Summergrl14
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/16 625 total posts
Name:
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Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
That is so awful and I completely agree with you. I had a very hard time breastfeeding and even the lactation consultant who I saw said fed is best and that every woman has to do what's best for her own mental health.
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| Posted 1/13/17 3:47 PM |
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Disneygirl17
LIF Toddler
Member since 11/16 496 total posts
Name:
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
I was struggling with breast feeding my youngest at the hospital right after she was born. The lc told me to pump while she fed my daughter formula! She was in the nicu for low blood sugar and she needs food. It blew my mind. Tell that to those moms. It's tough and so long as your baby is healthy that's all that matters.
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| Posted 1/13/17 5:31 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
Screw that!
Sounds like those adminstrators are nuts (and have too much time if they are sifting through comments).
I was told by my Dr to supplement all 3 with high calorie formula in the beginning. I was then able to exclusively breastfeed. You do what you gotta.
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| Posted 1/13/17 6:22 PM |
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RainyDay
LIF Adult
Member since 6/15 3996 total posts
Name:
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Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
I totally know what you are talking about. I had issues breastfeeding and joined a similar fb group and it was all the same. I ended up leaving because it was too much. Reading the posts made me feel like such a bad mom because I wasn't able to get my kid to latch and pumping every two hours was not working for me. Baby and I are much happier now. Breastfeeding is not worth it if mom and baby are not happy
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| Posted 1/13/17 7:01 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
Posted by lululu
The biggest detriment to women is other women. I can't understand why we can't get behind one another and provide support instead of making each other feel guilty for not being "perfect."
I 100% agree with this.
Also, fluck those asshats. Fluck them all to hell.
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| Posted 1/13/17 8:14 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Breastfeeding FB Group Vent
In a 'breastfeeding support group', I can see them not wanting post telling people to just give up and formula feed but they do sound over the top. Of course no one should continue to breastfeed or exclusively breastfeed at the detriment to their own mental or physical health!
I will add, I'm not sure if it's just LI but I have found a lot of people to still be very backwards and unsupportive towards breastfeeding, especially anything extended. It's really sad and can make it difficult for women who really want to BF but are struggling. I know people generalize that there is too much formula bashing but IRL I actually experience the opposite. . . Lots of side eye and "Oh you're STILL breastfeeding" comments. I also use formula and see nothing wrong with it, so I'm definitely not formula bashing, just saying you get comments both ways.
Sorry if I went off topic. Agreed, fed is best! Do what works for you, no judgement.
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| Posted 1/14/17 12:18 PM |
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