Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Trying to keep a long story short here... ExH and his new wife apparently are not getting along with his parents right now. The fighting has NOTHING to do with DS...it's 100% between the new wife and my ExILs. ExH is basically using DS as a weapon and has now told them they cant see DS anymore.

They reached out to me recently and told me that they had a birthday present for DS (his bday was August 1st) that ExH refused to give to DS, they mailed a card and ExH threw it out, and he is not allowing them to call DS.

They wanted to set up a bank account in DS' name for him, but ExH refused to give them DS' social security number so they could open the account. They asked me for it and I've been hesitant to provide it. I trust them, and I do think they have good intentions, but I'm concerned about what they can do with his SS#. I mean, maybe nothing, but who knows. I would technically be going behind ExH's back to give them the number, but that's the least of my concerns really. Do you think its risky for me to give them his social?

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

I wouldn't do it, but then again I don't think anybody but you and youe EXH should have access to that info. I'm sure they have good intentions, but why can't they just mail you a check for DS???

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Even though you are sure they would not do anything silly with the SS I probably still would not because I would not want to cause more trouble with my ex by basically getting in the middle of a fight between him and his parents.

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

tell them that it would be best if they opened a custodial savings account. this way, you don't need the child's ssn AT ALL. technically, it would be THEIR account, but it would have your DS's name attached. i think this might be a happy middle ground.

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

ps. a trust and a savings account ware apples and oranges. if they want a trust, why not just set up a trust?

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

They probably want to set up a 529b for him. I gave social to all grandparents and my cousin to set up account. Honestly there isn't much they could do unless they're like international hackers and selling it to other people.

I would probably give to them if you thought they were good people and didn't have malintentions.

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

My grandfather has set up a 529 for DS (just like he did for my brother & cousins - for me, when I was born he created a mutual fund). You need SS# in order to do that. Did not even think twice about it, but that's our family, we know what it's being used for and why he needed it. It isn't like he can just write a check when he wants to deposit, he has a monthly automatic deposit set up directly into it.

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

In this case I wouldn't do it.

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Even better. Find a bank that is close to you and ex in laws. YOU open the custodial account. They can deposit money in it anytime. Win for everyone.

As a side note, what a POS you EX is. have them send birthday gifts to your house for now on. cards etc to your house.

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

I would not go over your ex-husband's head and give them information that he specifically said no to. I would reach out to your ex-husband and ask that he give the information to his parents since it will benefit your DS.

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

My mom wanted to open a life insurance account and put the grandkids as beneficiaries and needed social security numbers. It's a long story, but I would not give them to her. So she had the agent call me directly and I gave it to them over the phone. Maybe something like that?

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Posted by Poppyseed79

Posted by MrsM84

Posted by jessnbrian

My grandfather has set up a 529 for DS (just like he did for my brother & cousins - for me, when I was born he created a mutual fund). You need SS# in order to do that. Did not even think twice about it, but that's our family, we know what it's being used for and why he needed it. It isn't like he can just write a check when he wants to deposit, he has a monthly automatic deposit set up directly into it.

Same. We gave DD's SS# to both sets of grandparents.

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

To all of you saying open a bank account there is a chance the parents don't trust what will happen to that money. With a 529 it can ONLY be used for education. If your DS doesn't go to college it can be passed to a sibling. Or you yourself can take adult education classes at that point in time.

Seems with their son and the problems they're having this is the way they are protecting their contribution to your sons education. I would definitely let them.

Eta spelling.

Message edited 8/24/2015 9:17:16 PM.

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

My husband gave my SIL my sons social security number to open an account for him. I was pissed. He didn't consult with me. If you are having second thoughts I wouldn't do it.

Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Whether you want to get involved or not in any drama is one thing, but imo it's perfectly safe to give his ss#. I mean jeeze, what do people think they'll do with it? Commit identity theft, lol? The ONLY thing I would second guess is getting mixed up in your ex's problems with them. And to be totally honest I think I would give it to them and then iof ex asked about it, nonchalantly/innocently be like uh yeah they said they wanted to open a savings for ds, why wouldn't I give the #? I mean it's not like they're criminals!

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

FM

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Posted by Poppyseed79

Posted by MrsM84

Posted by jessnbrian

My grandfather has set up a 529 for DS (just like he did for my brother & cousins - for me, when I was born he created a mutual fund). You need SS# in order to do that. Did not even think twice about it, but that's our family, we know what it's being used for and why he needed it. It isn't like he can just write a check when he wants to deposit, he has a monthly automatic deposit set up directly into it.

Same. We gave DD's SS# to both sets of grandparents.

Message edited 8/25/2015 8:03:48 AM.

Re: Is there harm in giving DS' SS# to grandparents?

Honestly, who cares what your EX thinks or if he gets his panties in a bunch???? What kind of a$$hole would be upset over someone doing something nice and generous for their child............ESPECIALLY the child's grandparents?? Too bad if he gets pi$$ed off, why should your son be punished because your EX is mad at his parents?? That's ridiculous, your son shouldn't be in the middle of this and if his grandparents want to do this for him to help his future I wouldn't hesitate to give them his SS#. They are FAMILY, what are they going to do with that info??............it sounds like they have nothing but good intentions. Maybe it's just me but your EX sounds like he's being a spiteful brat. He needs to get over it and put his son first.

100%...............I would give them the SS# without giving it a second thought.

Message edited 8/25/2015 8:15:14 AM.