Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

We do it every year - the kids stay with my parents (I'm ridiculously grateful).
We've done everything from overnight or long weekend, to a week in CA.

We never take 'our' vacation in place of a family vacation, it's always in addition to multiple long weekends and longer family vacations with the kids - so I'm not depriving them of anything. I don't feel guilty leaving them for a few days.
I feel more guilt about my parents doing us the favor than I do about leaving them - they love it. We miss them, and they miss us - but not to the point that anyoen is miserable.

It's something I look forward to every year - it's just a recharge.

If you're not comfortable yet, why not start out with something smaller - like a long weekend away, somewhere driving distance, rather than 4 or 5 days and a flight etc.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

Vacation with or without your LO?

My daughter is almost two and I would not feel comfortable leaving her for more than a night or two, so maybe a weekend away close by (such as atlantic city). I would miss her and I wouldn't have a good time bc I would be thinking of her the whole time (I also don't have family that can watch her so it would be my MIL, I'm sure that plays into it)...We have gone on vacation several times and brought her though. Yes it is not the same as going without a child of course BUT we had a great time I love spending time together as a family and our daughter had a blast. If you are thinking of an all-inclusive in the Caribbean that is perfect for a toddler and very easy bc everything is right there.

Vacation with or without your LO?

We haven't done this YET, but I am ready to!!! I need a vacation badly. However ,I am probably all talk because I am sure I would be a mess missing them.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

We've done both & honestly it's nice to get away with just the hubby. With that said, my boys stay with my parents at our house. So I trust them 110%.

We've travelled overseas 2 times without the boys & the Caribbean with hubby's job when my youngest was only 12 weeks old

Vacation with or without your LO?

We go away quite a bit without our kids. I am lucky enough to have family nearby willing to take them overnight. The first time I left my oldest was when he was around 5 mos old, for 4 nights. Longest was 8 days. I know they are well cared for, and I enjoy the time alone with Dh. My 2 oldest dc have also gone away without me. They have adoring aunts who like to take them on big kid vacations without their little brothers. I missed them but they had a blast.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

My daughter was 5 months. When I found out I was pregnant, we had to cancel our trip to Jamaica because I had severe morning sickness. The airline tickets were good for a year so we had to use it the following summer or we'd lose the money. We only went for 4 or 5 days. It killed me to leave her. I actually threw up when I was packing all her things that she'd need at my moms. It was rough leaving, but once we got to the airport and got to jamaica and had a few drinks it was actually nice to get that alone time.

Vacation with or without your LO?

My DD is 3.5 and we have never left her overnight yet to go on a trip. My DH would, but I'm the one that is holding back. Realistically, I know that she would be completely fine, but I don't think I could leave her for a few nights. Next month is our 5 year anniversary and we're talking about doing one night away. I need to start small lol.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

When they were little, we only went away for a night, maybe two. But in our case, our family was just not willing/equipped to deal with them as babies for longer then that. They honestly required a lot of work. Now that they're older we try to go away for a weekend here or there and aim for one bigger trip for 4-5 nights alone. They are 5 and 8 so they are much easier and they are usually pretty happy to just play with each other.
I miss my kids when we're away. But I never feel guilty. I deserve alone time with my DH. And my kids get PLENTY of vacations each year, so it's not like they're going without in order for us to do our own thing.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

When DS was 8 months old, we went away for 3 nights to Washington DC and he stayed with grandma for the weekend. Everything went smoothly so we ended up booking a getaway to Cancun for another quick 3 night trip when he was 14 months old and again, everything went well. As sad as we were to leave him and we missed him, it was great for DH and I and our relationship. Things change a lot after you have babies but bumping our marriage to the top of the priority list every so often keeps our family happy and a long weekend alone together goes a long way. To each their own.

Vacation with or without your LO?

First off theres nothing wrong with wanting to go away without your child. Dont feel any guilt about it. I have 2 different friends going away for 3 days without their kids and their just fine. Also 1 set of friends has 3 kids! So you do what you feel you are comfortable with.
How long do you want to go away?
Do you feel comfortable leaving dc for that long?

IF the only reason you dont want to bring dc is because your dh feels its not a vaca with your dc, and you feel sifferently, then I would explain to him its still a vaca. You have a child now things are officially different including your vacas. If you feel youd like to get away just you 2 because you guys need some alone time then thats different.
We took my dd to florida at 10 months and aruba at 15 months. We had a great time both times. Was it perfect? No there were times where we ended a meal early or yes were chasing after her but overall it was an amazing vaca we got to do most of the things we wanted (minus the partying we may have enjoyed lol) but we got some wine and after dd would go to sleep we would sit on tje balcony with some wine.
We also adjusted her schedule and she would nap a lil more so she could stay up later. We had her nap on the beach i her stroller which she loved. It was great.

Its up to you like i said. My dh and i are planning a lil weekend getaway just to atlantic city or something. We havent gone more than 1 night away from our dd but its more because i get very anxious when im away from her too long.

But throughout her life shes slept at my moms and my mother in laws with no issues. Or they have slept at our house at times to watch her.

Vacation with or without your LO?

My son is almost two and the longest we have gone 'away' has been two nights. Once he is potty trained, i have every intention of doing a five day vacation. Its important to continue growing our relationships with our significant others. The kids will eventually leave us and so may times we hear of people divorcing when the kids go to college because we don't pay attention to our partners. I always say, im a great mom but my #1 priority is my marriage.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

At 13 months, I'd feel comfortable leaving for about 4 days.

Vacation with or without your LO?

If we had the money to take 2 vacations, we would possibly do one ourselves for a few days and then one with children. But we don't so I'd rather take one with them.

ETA: DH and I get plenty of alone time. Date nights, nights where we send DD to my mom's for a sleepover.

Message edited 4/7/2015 11:43:49 AM.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

My 1st DD was 3 months old when my MIL stayed with her for a long weekend.

She was probably around 13 months when we traveled to Canada for a week or so without her. Again, my MIL stayed with her.

My MIL stayed with 3 of them, ranging from 4 to 9 mos, when we traveled to France.


But I'm comfortable and confident with my MIL staying with the kids which makes all the difference. I'm comfortable with my mom as well, but I feel like its harder on her physically so I keep our days to a minimum when she's watching our little ones.

Vacation with or without your LO?

Me I couldn't go away without my kids esp that young. They are too dependent still.
We went away once about 90 min away for 1 night. That was it.
I know I wouldn't fly without my kids. That's just me.
For our 10 year next year I want to do something awesome but our kids will be coming.

Message edited 4/7/2015 12:31:10 PM.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

To clarify what I had posted- It's not that I couldn't leave DD for longer than a night or 2. I have done it for business trips, no problem.

It's just that I'd feel too guilty putting that kind of burden on someone.
A baby at that age is a LOT of work.

I wouldn't feel right asking my mom and dad to watch her for that long of a time period so I could go lie on a beach with DH.

I just have a very guilty conscious and hate asking favors. Of ANYONE

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

Vacation with or without your LO?

Depends really imo on your kids and the babysitting situation. My SIL has no kids. She has no idea what it's like to be a slave to kids, lol. She is perfectly capable of watching them for 2 or 3 nights and they have a blast with her. More than that, I would feel bad. But for a few nights, I hope if she does have kids one day, that I can return the favor, bc it is THE BIGGEST gift you can give parents of young children!

Message edited 4/7/2015 8:22:39 PM.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

Neither.
No vacations anymore, not fun & not relaxing... We take him (them soon) with us & I'm stressed the entire time... my ds is super high maintenance & the amount of work it would be to keep him calm & happy would just ruin the whole thing. He can't even sleep anywhere other than his own crib in his own room... trying to get him to sleep anywhere else is torture for all of us. Forget it.
I just cannot go away without him for many reasons. First of all, we've got nobody to watch him, nobody can tolerate him for that long lol. It's even hard to go to a wedding or some other event for one evening (I have been wanting to see a broadway show for the past year or more & haven't been able to make it happen), much less days on end. My mom works part time & already watches ds every day when we're working so I can't see asking her to do any more than that (also she doesn't do things the way I ask her to, so I just end up getting frustrated & feeling bad). My in-laws live too far away & can't be bothered. Also I feel like I hardly see my ds because of work so I would feel way too guilty taking even more time away from being with him to go try to enjoy myself somewhere... I'd spend the whole time missing him because I already hardly see him.
Now we're having baby #2 in a few weeks so even if it were to somehow become easier as ds got older (I can't see how but if it did), we're starting over again with the newborn stage anyway. I probably sound like a crazy control freak or something but I feel like we'll never get to take a vacation again.

Message edited 4/7/2015 9:08:56 PM.

Message edited 11/30/2015 9:51:54 AM.

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

Re: Vacation with or without your LO?

This is a case by case scenario... depends on having trusting family that lives close and can watch your LO, how your LO behaves and how you are being away from LO.

I didn't take a trip without DS1 till he was about 14 months to visit a friend in Chicago for a few nights. He was with DH and my IL's.
We are lucky to live close to both my parents and IL's who can watch them for a few nights. We haven't done a big trip away yet, but most we did was 3 days. It was perfect for DH and myself. I think eventually we will do longer. As they get older it's easier, but our issue is getting someone to watch them for a while. Both sets of parents still work (my dad is the only one retired, but he is very active with karate, art classes, friends, etc).
I think it's great and special for other family members to get that time with the LO's. Last time my parents took the boys to the zoo, out for pizza then ice cream then they crashed and they took them to a movie next day, etc.
I have fond memories of spending a weekend with my grandparents when I was little. I see how much my parents love each other and enjoy each other's time. I knew I wanted that kind of relationship where DH and I can get our own time too.

Again.. still depends on the child and if family members can do it.

Message edited 4/8/2015 9:23:26 AM.