| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: [1] 2 |
Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
|
FTWM...does it get easier??
I just started back at work full time yesterday. Yesterday was awful, I didn't want to leave my son at all.
Then I get to work and find that accounts were re-assigned and I was assigned the accounts nobody else wanted, the most difficult ones and the nastiest people. I feel like i'm being punished for taking time off to have a baby.
My mom is watching the baby which is great, but she's acting like he's a trophy to show off, bringing him all over the place. She just called me from her hairdresser because she couldn't get the carseat out of the base. I've showed her at least 10 times and she's even done it before. I was fine at work until that call now i'm all upset.
Please tell me it gets better??
|
Posted 6/24/14 9:35 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
 It does get easier, first few weeks are rough until you get used to the routine. Hang in there Mommy 
|
| Posted 6/24/14 9:41 AM |
| |
|
july4mrsO
Happy boy!
Member since 5/10 2867 total posts
Name:
Jess
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
It does get easier! It's so hard the first few days/weeks. But it will slowly get better. That stinks about your job reassigning the accounts while you were out. It must feel like a slap in the face. But I'm sure once you've had some more time to adjust back to working full-time, it will get easier. And as for your mom, I'm sure she's just excited to show off your LO because that's what grandmothers do. I would have been nervous and/or annoyed by it too as a first time mom. She means well though. Maybe have her practice the car seat stuff in front of you to give you some peace of mind. She'll get the hang of it. Hang in there, it will get better!
|
| Posted 6/24/14 9:46 AM |
| |
|
AsItShouldBe
LIF Infant
Member since 6/09 91 total posts
Name:
Carrie
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
It does get easier! I posted the same thing when I went back to work- I was a mess! But as the days go on, it gets easier- I miss him but I no longer cry at work lol. If you want to talk I am here!
|
| Posted 6/24/14 9:57 AM |
| |
|
nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Yes. Of course it does!
It gets MUCH better... your mom (and anyone else) will have a learning curve. The simpler the routine, the better it is. Good that she is showing your kid off, it will make the work more fun for her & shows fondness and love.
You will regain your ground at work. Things typically don't wait on maternity leave (I missed out on a nice opportunity, but include it in the "cost" of spending time with my babies, which I prefer).
|
| Posted 6/24/14 9:59 AM |
| |
|
Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
|
FTWM...does it get easier??
Thank you all. I am only working a half day friday, so I keep telling myself just make it to friday. It's so hard.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 10:08 AM |
| |
|
alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
|
FTWM...does it get easier??
IMO it gets better if you let it get better. I know for some it does not get better but IMO those are the people that never wanted to be back at work and never came to terms with the fact that they have to work (for whatever reason).
I think once you get yourself into a routine it makes it easier to get through it. As for the change in accounts - probably pretty normal since people had to take over your job while you were away things normally get shifted.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 10:15 AM |
| |
|
Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by alli3131
IMO it gets better if you let it get better. I know for some it does not get better but IMO those are the people that never wanted to be back at work and never came to terms with the fact that they have to work (for whatever reason).
I think once you get yourself into a routine it makes it easier to get through it. As for the change in accounts - probably pretty normal since people had to take over your job while you were away things normally get shifted.
It actually wasn't normal, since when others were out for the same or more time, they just resumed their accounts when they came back.
My boss went around to everyone and asked them who they didn't want to work with anymore and assigned them to me.
Pretty crappy to do to someone that has worked for you for almost 10 years, especially when the turnaround rate here is ridiculous.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 10:37 AM |
| |
|
NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by alli3131
IMO it gets better if you let it get better. I know for some it does not get better but IMO those are the people that never wanted to be back at work and never came to terms with the fact that they have to work (for whatever reason).
I think once you get yourself into a routine it makes it easier to get through it. As for the change in accounts - probably pretty normal since people had to take over your job while you were away things normally get shifted.
It actually wasn't normal, since when others were out for the same or more time, they just resumed their accounts when they came back.
My boss went around to everyone and asked them who they didn't want to work with anymore and assigned them to me.
Pretty crappy to do to someone that has worked for you for almost 10 years, especially when the turnaround rate here is ridiculous.
If you've been there for 10 years, then I think you should feel comfortable talking to your boss about why your accounts changed, and whether you can get your old ones back.
I don't know what you do for a living, but usually account managers are pretty permanent, so if you are now back at work, you should be able to get your old clients back. Clients usually prefer working with someone they've been with for a long time, so use that to your advantage.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 10:53 AM |
| |
|
Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by NYCGirl80
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by alli3131
IMO it gets better if you let it get better. I know for some it does not get better but IMO those are the people that never wanted to be back at work and never came to terms with the fact that they have to work (for whatever reason).
I think once you get yourself into a routine it makes it easier to get through it. As for the change in accounts - probably pretty normal since people had to take over your job while you were away things normally get shifted.
It actually wasn't normal, since when others were out for the same or more time, they just resumed their accounts when they came back.
My boss went around to everyone and asked them who they didn't want to work with anymore and assigned them to me.
Pretty crappy to do to someone that has worked for you for almost 10 years, especially when the turnaround rate here is ridiculous.
If you've been there for 10 years, then I think you should feel comfortable talking to your boss about why your accounts changed, and whether you can get your old ones back.
I don't know what you do for a living, but usually account managers are pretty permanent, so if you are now back at work, you should be able to get your old clients back. Clients usually prefer working with someone they've been with for a long time, so use that to your advantage.
I do plan to talk to them when we have the quarterly bonus meetings. I'm not taking a bonus, but I would still like to ask why. They also asked me to change my hours from 8-5 to 9-6. I told them I couldn't. My son goes to bed by 8 I would never see him!
|
| Posted 6/24/14 11:04 AM |
| |
|
MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
It will get easier you will establish a routine.
Regarding grandma having a hard time with the car seat - that happens don't worry. I also know when it gets stuck the more flustered you become the harder it is to get it out. Hugs to you.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 12:36 PM |
| |
|
MrsS6510
2 girls?!?!?
Member since 9/10 3318 total posts
Name:
L
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
I agree with the others, it gets easier if you let it. I was a complete disaster my first week back to work. But now everything is fine. Of course there are days I would give anything to stay home, but my MIL is so happy to be watching DD and I can tell that DD is happy when she goes there, so I'm good. It also makes me appreciate my time with DD so much more.
As for the baby gear, grandma just needs to get used to it. All of these gadgets were different or non-existent when we were kids. We (DH and I) had to teach MIL how to use the car seat, stroller, and I even left instructions for how to feed and change DD. I know she's done it before, but I want it done my way  And of course your mother wants to show off her brand new grandson! She's a proud grandma! I'd be insulted if my or DH's parents didn't want to show off my DD.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 12:52 PM |
| |
|
NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
So here's the thing. What is making it worse for you, obviously, is that your job is causing you stress. If you had gone back to a great environment and supportive people, that would ease some of the burden immensely.
Also, the childcare situation, with your mom watching your son also seems to be stressing you out.
While it's great to have a family member watching your child, it also adds its own level of stress as you stated.
I adjusting to going back to work very easily because:
1- I wanted to go back to work. No matter how much I loved my DD and being with her, I knew I could never stay home full time. I am just not cut out to be a SAHM.
2- I came back to a great place with supportive people who wanted me back, were flexible if I needed to work from home ,come in late, leave early etc. It was an ideal situation for a new mom to come back to.
3- I had DD in a wonderful daycare center that I trusted 100%. I knew she was getting top notch care there every minute of the day. (And there was no family drama to deal with)
So I can say, yes it gets easier! It so does.
But for you, it might take more time
Maybe you need to have a talk with your managers about your accounts being taken away?
Maybe you need to have a talk with your mom as well.
I'm sorry you are going through this- I know it is not easy to leave your baby to work FT and then the added stress of your job being a PIA on top of it.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 12:56 PM |
| |
|
Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by NervousNell
So here's the thing. What is making it worse for you, obviously, is that your job is causing you stress. If you had gone back to a great environment and supportive people, that would ease some of the burden immensely.
Also, the childcare situation, with your mom watching your son also seems to be stressing you out.
While it's great to have a family member watching your child, it also adds its own level of stress as you stated.
I adjusting to going back to work very easily because:
1- I wanted to go back to work. No matter how much I loved my DD and being with her, I knew I could never stay home full time. I am just not cut out to be a SAHM.
2- I came back to a great place with supportive people who wanted me back, were flexible if I needed to work from home ,come in late, leave early etc. It was an ideal situation for a new mom to come back to.
3- I had DD in a wonderful daycare center that I trusted 100%. I knew she was getting top notch care there every minute of the day. (And there was no family drama to deal with)
So I can say, yes it gets easier! It so does.
But for you, it might take more time
Maybe you need to have a talk with your managers about your accounts being taken away?
Maybe you need to have a talk with your mom as well.
I'm sorry you are going through this- I know it is not easy to leave your baby to work FT and then the added stress of your job being a PIA on top of it.
Thank you  You hit the nail on the head with a lot of these points. I didn't want to go back but had to financially.
I didn't want to come back to this job, but I didn't have time to look for something new like I intended to, because I was taking care of a newborn.
I didn't want to have my mom watch the baby, but again financially it's all I could do.
I'm hoping that once I build my savings back up I can work on these issues.
I'm also a control freak, so I have to let that go and realize that my mom is going to do things differently, but will care for my son the best she can and won't put him in danger so I need to relax a bit.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 2:07 PM |
| |
|
ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
|
FTWM...does it get easier??
I've been back at work for 10 weeks now and while you get used to it, it's still hard. I hate being at work and away from DD. I hate that most Mommy & Me programs (at least the affordable ones) are geared towards SAHMs. I keep DD up til 11pm b/c I want more time with her. I hate having to share her with anyone when we're home b/c to me, that's my time since I barely get any during the week. It sucks. But like I said, you get used to it. Hang in there!
|
| Posted 6/24/14 2:17 PM |
| |
|
Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by ElizaRags35
I've been back at work for 10 weeks now and while you get used to it, it's still hard. I hate being at work and away from DD. I hate that most Mommy & Me programs (at least the affordable ones) are geared towards SAHMs. I keep DD up til 11pm b/c I want more time with her. I hate having to share her with anyone when we're home b/c to me, that's my time since I barely get any during the week. It sucks. But like I said, you get used to it. Hang in there!
This is me exactly!! DS is 18 months so I've been back to work for quite some time. BUT I still miss my time with him....and as he gets older I miss out on some of the activities that only seem to be available during the week to those that don't work; or for the caregivers. I am also having a struggle finding time for other things on the weekends; since my priority is family time. i'd rather go to the park then go to brunch!
I was also going to say; for me personally; as much as having my Mom watch DS would save $$; I think it would have made leaving him harder. Like how she's showing him off at the salon. It might not be right; but I'd feel like that's my baby. I am the one that should be taking him around and what not.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 2:25 PM |
| |
|
Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by ElizaRags35
I've been back at work for 10 weeks now and while you get used to it, it's still hard. I hate being at work and away from DD. I hate that most Mommy & Me programs (at least the affordable ones) are geared towards SAHMs. I keep DD up til 11pm b/c I want more time with her. I hate having to share her with anyone when we're home b/c to me, that's my time since I barely get any during the week. It sucks. But like I said, you get used to it. Hang in there!
I feel ya on the Mommy & Me stuff. I took him to gymboree for a free trial class and he loved it. Our public library offers similar ones and they are all during working hours :( My mom will take him but it's not the same.
I'm already dreading my husband saying he wants to go visit his mom. I want him all to myself, I grab him as soon as I get home lol.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 2:32 PM |
| |
|
Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by Samira0407
I was also going to say; for me personally; as much as having my Mom watch DS would save $$; I think it would have made leaving him harder. Like how she's showing him off at the salon. It might not be right; but I'd feel like that's my baby. I am the one that should be taking him around and what not.
It's not so much her showing him off, it's that she lets other people hug him and kiss him and hold him. to me that just screams germs. and I don't want people I barely know (her friends etc) hugging and kissing my boy.
My mom's friend came over when I was getting my nails done and informs me that she stripped my son down to his diaper and was hugging and kissing him all over. Ummmmm NO. leave my son's clothes on, thanks.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 2:34 PM |
| |
|
Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
|
FTWM...does it get easier??
Gymboree has weekend classes. I took DS to Oceanside and Westbury. We also did Nuts for Signs.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 2:34 PM |
| |
|
Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by Samira0407
Gymboree has weekend classes. I took DS to Oceanside and Westbury. We also did Nuts for Signs.
Yeah it's expensive though. The library ones are free.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 2:38 PM |
| |
|
Samira0407
Love being a Mom
Member since 6/08 4030 total posts
Name:
|
FTWM...does it get easier??
I got a groupon-or maybe living social deal. check out the discount sites and you'll find some good deals!
|
| Posted 6/24/14 2:44 PM |
| |
|
alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by Samira0407
Gymboree has weekend classes. I took DS to Oceanside and Westbury. We also did Nuts for Signs.
Yeah it's expensive though. The library ones are free.
Also know that most of us FTWM don't do any classes and your child will not be behind or left out or anything if they never attend one.
I felt that since I do not see my DS all week long (few hrs a night) I wasn't goign to spend my time with classes or play dates and I know others feel the same way. Don't beat yourself up if it just doesn't work with classes.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 2:47 PM |
| |
|
mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
I too had to go back to work, but i wanted and needed to. The cause of my stress when I went back was the child care issues withy mother. We went from having my mom watch her (ie: do whatever she wanted), and had a sitter come, and then have a friend watch her. All of this stressed me out for almost an entire year! Then we decided it was time for daycare. We found a great center, I was happy because she was no longer an infant, and I knew where she was, who she was with, the routine of the day, what and how often she ate, and like magic all my stress with being at work disappeared. If you can swing it, I would suggest daycare. It really was peace of mind for me.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 3:10 PM |
| |
|
NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by ElizaRags35
I've been back at work for 10 weeks now and while you get used to it, it's still hard. I hate being at work and away from DD. I hate that most Mommy & Me programs (at least the affordable ones) are geared towards SAHMs. I keep DD up til 11pm b/c I want more time with her. I hate having to share her with anyone when we're home b/c to me, that's my time since I barely get any during the week. It sucks. But like I said, you get used to it. Hang in there!
I feel ya on the Mommy & Me stuff. I took him to gymboree for a free trial class and he loved it. Our public library offers similar ones and they are all during working hours :( My mom will take him but it's not the same.
I'm already dreading my husband saying he wants to go visit his mom. I want him all to myself, I grab him as soon as I get home lol.
DS goes to Gymboree with his nanny during the week, and DH and I try to take him to the open gym class on Saturday mornings. Most weekends we're running around like crazy, but we try to squeeze that 9am class in and it's perfect for us.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 4:08 PM |
| |
|
Ballet46
LIF Infant
Member since 6/14 180 total posts
Name:
|
Re: FTWM...does it get easier??
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by Samira0407
I was also going to say; for me personally; as much as having my Mom watch DS would save $$; I think it would have made leaving him harder. Like how she's showing him off at the salon. It might not be right; but I'd feel like that's my baby. I am the one that should be taking him around and what not.
It's not so much her showing him off, it's that she lets other people hug him and kiss him and hold him. to me that just screams germs. and I don't want people I barely know (her friends etc) hugging and kissing my boy.
My mom's friend came over when I was getting my nails done and informs me that she stripped my son down to his diaper and was hugging and kissing him all over. Ummmmm NO. leave my son's clothes on, thanks.
Uh oh! You may end up having issues with your mom babysitting. That screams no boundaries. Letting her friend do that is just not ok.
Message edited 6/24/2014 8:04:44 PM.
|
| Posted 6/24/14 8:04 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: [1] 2 |
