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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I started babysitting and a Pennysaver route at age 13.
I loved having "my money". I'd get 1/2 and my mom would put half in my bank account.
At age 16 instead of having a Sweet 16 I looked for work because my father lost his job and I felt I *Had* to help out.
I worked at McDs and stayed there through college (worked up to management position).
They were very flexible with hours and I managed to get all my work done, have fun with friends and heck even met my DH there.
If we wanted a car, we had to pay for it. We really weren't handed much.
My kids will work PT, but, if they do struggle in school, I'll have them stop for a bit.
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Posted 8/4/12 11:04 AM  |
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I worked too much. I don't want that for my children. I prefer that they don't have a job during high school. If they want to work I hope it's something like yard work for us or their grandparents, or neighbors, just to have some extra spending money.
I remember working in high school at a supermarket. The people were nasty, workers and patrons. I worked 6 days a week for minimum wage. Ugh, I would never want that for my children.
I want them to have fun and be children. There is plenty of time to work later in life.
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| Posted 8/4/12 11:47 AM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I got a job as soon as I turned 16 because I wanted to. It was great to have my own spending money and it was nice to make friends outside of school. I always had good grades and having a job never affected that. I had zero interest in sports, so that wasn't a factor.
I also worked during the summers and winters when I was in college, but my mom didn't want me working during the school year so I got an allowance. I had no problem with that, left more time to hang out 
I hope my children will want to work in HS for the same reasons. My parents always encouraged me and it was great to already have a resume when I left college.
ETA: To address "Teach" - I got a 1/2 scholarship to NYU based on my academics and clubs, which I had plenty of time for in addition to a job. I won't even mention my full ride to St. John's Law because that seems redundant. What's with the judgment? "I can't believe" etc. etc. Do what you want with your kids. I was a great student and hated sports and I would have been bored out of my skull if I couldn't work. I didn't have to work. I wanted to.
Message edited 8/4/2012 12:01:30 PM.
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| Posted 8/4/12 11:57 AM |
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allIwant
Love my crazy life!
Member since 1/10 9170 total posts
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Posted by jerseychick
Yes, I would like my children to work.
I got a job the day I turned 16. I worked 2 nights a week. I was also a 3 sport athlete and on the honor roll. I think balancing it all taught me to prioritize and manage my time well.
Well said! Couldn't agree more!
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| Posted 8/4/12 12:21 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
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:)
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I worked since 15 and would like my child to work as well. I think it's teaches alot of responsibility, gives them freedom to make $$ and experience the great feeling of making your own $$, and is a great way to meet friends sometimes.
However, I am not sure in this world today, with school and sports and activites (which I was not in any) that kids have the same amt of time I had when growing up.
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| Posted 8/4/12 12:34 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Posted by greenybeans
I worked too much. I don't want that for my children. I prefer that they don't have a job during high school. If they want to work I hope it's something like yard work for us or their grandparents, or neighbors, just to have some extra spending money.
I remember working in high school at a supermarket. The people were nasty, workers and patrons. I worked 6 days a week for minimum wage. Ugh, I would never want that for my children.
I want them to have fun and be children. There is plenty of time to work later in life.
I also worked in a supermarket for my first job. I actually had a great experience. I enjoyed meeting local people who were regulars. I enjoyed making $$$, even if minimum wage (maybe bc my parents never gave me an allowance so I had to work to have $$). I met a bunch of friends and developed a great social life from working at my job. It was a great experience that I would never take back. Above all, it gave me much freedom from my parents, especially financially, when it came to "luxuries".
I guess it just goes to show we all have different experiences and different perspectives.
Not in reply to above poster...just wanted to add. I also went on to receive my Associates, then Bachelor's and then Master's plus 30 more credits above that. I received 2 scholarship awards while in college. All while working part time/close to full time, always working since age 15. I led a busy life, but I enjoyed being busy in both school and socially.
Based on my upbringing, I was never a fan of the mentality of handing a young person(who wants a car, cell phone, the latest clothes, etc, gas money,etc) the money to have these LUXURIES. I always felt young people should be taught how great it feels to buy things for themselves.
Message edited 8/4/2012 1:07:59 PM.
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| Posted 8/4/12 12:37 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I did not work in high school or college but I did have plenty of volunteer jobs, extracurricular ctivities and unpaid internships which I feel can often be more beneficial than a paid job at the mall or something. Plus, they were great resume builders for college and grad school applications.
I think it is becoming increasingly more competitive to gain acceptance into a top school and kids nowadays have to have stellar resumes that includes plenty of volunteerism and internships.
As long as my child is actively engaged in school activities and the community and I striving to achieve then I will gladly pay for their "lifestyle". However, if my child is not getting good grades and does nothing all day then, no, I will not buying all the stuff for him/her.
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| Posted 8/4/12 3:38 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I worked way too much. We were poor.
At 16, I was paying rent, my car payment, insurance...plus student council, sports, and straight a's.
The summer I turned 14, i became a nanny. 2 families wanted to give their kids breaks from daycare for the summer...so i was m-f, 7-6. once i turned 16, i did that plus thur, fri sat nights at a restaurant.
Not my kids. I want them to shadow trade jobs, volunteer...hang out with carpenters and learn skills.
It amazes me looking back that my parents were strict...yet if it was "work" I was around the scuzzy people found working in restaurants.
if they want to mow lawns or baby sit, fine by me...but i don't want them working along side felons.
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| Posted 8/4/12 3:53 PM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
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Genna
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I am have been working since I was 13 years old. I am not sure what I would want my children to do...I would have to see what is going on with them when they are teenagers like there schoolwork and how active they are in school.
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| Posted 8/4/12 4:12 PM |
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Well, because the discussion has turned a lot to whether kids work I'll explain my history. My parents definitely wanted my sister and me to work after school jobs in high school but during college they did not want us to work during the semester. They did not even want me to try for a work/study program when I wanted to. They expected us to have summer jobs. I think that whether my son works when he is in HS will depend on his involvement with other activities and what kinds of jobs he can get. I worked in office jobs that helped me later.
Message edited 8/7/2012 2:08:05 AM.
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| Posted 8/7/12 2:07 AM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I was the oldest of 6, so yes, I worked. Otherwise, I didn't have my own spending money. My Mom was a single Mom after i was 12 to four kids and then got remarried to someone with 2 kids. So I worked weekends and maybe one evening a week at the local Burger King.
In college, I worked but, it was On Campus Jobs. I worked in the library at the reference desk. Best job because I could study at work. One time I worked at Dunkin Donuts and they were SO silly about hours. They would not let me change my late night hours the night before a BIG final. So I quit.
Message edited 8/7/2012 6:30:45 AM.
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| Posted 8/7/12 6:27 AM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
It depends on the kid...
I think working can teach a kid that money isn't free of effort. Working is a good way for the kid to pay their own way... esp. if they want lots of things. My sister started working when she wanted the MOST expensive shampoo. My mom just said enough is enough. Let her see that she'd have to work for 2 hours to buy it.
Working may also be necessary to help support the family. One of the smartest girls I knew HAD to work full time in HS to support her family.
BUT... I didn't work until college & my parents had me volunteer during my summers. I think the experience was great & it had me get out there & do things I wish I had time for now. Helped me pick a career & def. helped me get into college.
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| Posted 8/7/12 7:56 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
yes, my child will work. hopefully it will be doing something that fosters whatever he is studying/enjoying at the time (playing varsity soccer? be a asst coach a few days a week. super chemistry star? tutor a few nights after school)
good willing he will work, he will earn, and he will learn that life is NOT about how much down time you can squeeze out of a day.
I want him to be far more industrious than I am, more like my MIL. she never complains about having to work-cook, clean, wake up early, do chores etc.
I also don't believe in the "college experience".
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| Posted 8/7/12 9:55 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Posted by LulaBell
Posted by Teach
I can not believe that everyone would want their child working at such a young age. My parents wanted us to focus on being kids. We either played on a traveling team or went to summer camp. Even in college, my dad would always say that "I am spending so much money on this, make it the best time ever (and get good grades)."
I loved pp idea of having their kid spend their summer focusing on a project. Also, during the summer is a great time to bond with your family. I remember many nights playing games, or just watching tv with my parents. Don't get me wrong...I went out with friends many nights too, but on the other nights, I was with my family.
Kids need to focus on school, ESPECIALLY at 15/16/17. Colleges look for kids for scholarships based on sports/academics at that age. I do not want my child focusing on scanning items at the supermarket instead of studying.
With all due respect, I don't think these things are mutually exclusive. I worked, was involved in sports/clubs, Spent time with my family, had fun, and got scholarships to all of the non-Ivy league schools to which I applied. Many of my friends who didn't work didn't spend that time studying either!
ITTA. I worked and all my friends worked too. Jewelery stores, restaurants, the library etc. We are all very highly motivated people with a work ethic. I see no reason why my children couldn't work a couple of days a week to earn some money and learn about savings
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| Posted 8/7/12 10:04 AM |
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
They will definitely have after school activities. Whether it be a combination of sports, music, theater, volunteering and work is up to them. Definitely work in the summers.
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| Posted 8/7/12 10:06 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Posted by Teach
I can not believe that everyone would want their child working at such a young age. My parents wanted us to focus on being kids. We either played on a traveling team or went to summer camp. Even in college, my dad would always say that "I am spending so much money on this, make it the best time ever (and get good grades)."
I loved pp idea of having their kid spend their summer focusing on a project. Also, during the summer is a great time to bond with your family. I remember many nights playing games, or just watching tv with my parents. Don't get me wrong...I went out with friends many nights too, but on the other nights, I was with my family.
Kids need to focus on school, ESPECIALLY at 15/16/17. Colleges look for kids for scholarships based on sports/academics at that age. I do not want my child focusing on scanning items at the supermarket instead of studying.
I worked THREE jobs during high school, at the SAME TIME. THREE JOBS to support my family. I worked 7 days a week, attended school, earned a Regents Diploma, got academic scholarships to every school I applied to, covered my high school basketball team for the school news paper, played softball and still managed to hang out with my friends, get drunk on the corner, make out with lots of boys, played Manhunt throughout the streets of Brooklyn all summer long, go on vacation etc.
I never studied b/c I hated it. but I had the time, even with all that.
we aren't talking sending kids out into the fields for the upcoming harvest here. we are talking 10 hours a week at Abercrombie.
this is laughable. 
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| Posted 8/7/12 10:07 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Depends on the activities they are involved with. If they are very active in school and do not have time for a job then I would expect them to have a summer job.
I worked as soon as I could. DH's parents only let him and his brother work weekends.
I want school to be the focus for my kids BUT I want them to learn the value of money and start contributing to an IRA as soon as possible so I will encourage them to get partime jobs as it fits in their schedules.
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| Posted 8/7/12 10:25 AM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Posted by Ophelia
I also don't believe in the "college experience".
Okay, I'll bite...what do you mean by you don't believe in the college experience? Is it that you do not believe in going away for college or something else?
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| Posted 8/7/12 11:25 AM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I HAD to work. If I wanted a car I had to work.
I wanted a car.
My mom could not afford a car for me, so I HAD to work. No choice. I did not do extra curricular activities because I had to work. Or, I worked it around my job.
My husband did not have to work. His parents were wealthy (enough) and could give him what he needed so he didn't HAVE to work. They would prefer him to focus on his study's.
I will be in a position where my kids wont have to work. When the times comes I will see how they would be and if they WANTED to work, and it was good for them/us/family.
But there is a big difference between HAVING to work and WANTING to.
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| Posted 8/7/12 11:42 AM |
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maybemommy10
Big Brothers to Be !
Member since 2/10 3868 total posts
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I had to work, my kids don't. If they choose to, depending on the job and the child (can they multi task, are they responsible?) I will consider it, during summer time only. I want my kids to focus on school, sports (some form of MMA will be a must! maybe soccer, music etc) and volunteering.
My cousin (16) just got a part time summer job doing the score boards at games at his school, i think something like this would be perfect. my kids won't be slinging burgers, if I can help it. NOTHING wrong with that, i did it and much much worse!!!hahaha it does build character , i came out pretty amazing. but its not how *i* choose to raise my kids.
each their own!
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| Posted 8/7/12 11:54 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Posted by Jugglemom
Posted by Ophelia
I also don't believe in the "college experience".
Okay, I'll bite...what do you mean by you don't believe in the college experience? Is it that you do not believe in going away for college or something else?
I don't jive with the whole idea of it being their last chance at freedom or whatever. I don't mind if he goes away to school but I am not paying for him to room and board and do whatever college kids do away from their parents with no responsibility other than grades for 4 years.
I am not paying for that.
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| Posted 8/7/12 12:02 PM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
I think this all depends on the behavior of your child. If my child gets amazing grades and is involved in activities or sports then I would prefer for her to stay home and concentrate on school. However if she doesn't do great in school, is not focus and all she wants to do is hang out with her friends, then she better get a job to support herself.
I'm a great example, I always liked designer clothes but my mom couldn't afford it all the time. I started working at the age of 14 and was only allowed to work if my grades were up. This taught me a lot about money and how to jungle multiple things.
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| Posted 8/7/12 12:17 PM |
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Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/12 809 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Jugglemom
Posted by Ophelia
I also don't believe in the "college experience".
Okay, I'll bite...what do you mean by you don't believe in the college experience? Is it that you do not believe in going away for college or something else?
I don't jive with the whole idea of it being their last chance at freedom or whatever. I don't mind if he goes away to school but I am not paying for him to room and board and do whatever college kids do away from their parents with no responsibility other than grades for 4 years.
I am not paying for that.
I am not questioning your parental choices or anything as I believe there is no right or wrong way just different ideologies but I question such absolute statements that leave no room for variation.
For example, to the extent you re financially able to o so, of course, what if your son is away at a top school studying a more rigorous field such a Biology and Pre-med taking 5 classes and 4 labs as many bio majors have to do - you would not cut him any slack? And/or begrudge him some down time?
Also, if you did not go away to school - how can you knock it? I am not critical of those who stayed home.
Message edited 8/7/2012 12:29:50 PM.
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| Posted 8/7/12 12:29 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Posted by Jugglemom
Posted by Ophelia
I don't jive with the whole idea of it being their last chance at freedom or whatever. I don't mind if he goes away to school but I am not paying for him to room and board and do whatever college kids do away from their parents with no responsibility other than grades for 4 years.
I am not paying for that.
I am not questioning your parental choices or anything as I believe there is no right or wrong way just different ideologies but I question such absolute statements that leave no room for variation.
For example, to the extent you re financially able to o so, of course, what if your son is away at a top school studying a more rigorous field such a Biology and Pre-med taking 5 classes and 4 labs as many bio majors have to do - you would not cut him any slack? And/or begrudge him some down time?
Also, if you did not go away to school - how can you knock it? I am not critical of those who stayed home.
Whats interesting is they will go to college. Hopefully.
As long as they study and don't tell you what they are doing with their down time, how CAN you have any say as to what THEIR whole college experience is?
Not saying your wrong. Just that you have zero control over what they would actually do. If they don't TELL you about all the frat parties, and dances, and mixers and fun, you'll never know that they are using college to have that last hurrah before adulthood, KWIM?
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| Posted 8/7/12 1:39 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: Spinoff to expenses...
Posted by Paramount
Posted by Jugglemom
Posted by Ophelia
I don't jive with the whole idea of it being their last chance at freedom or whatever. I don't mind if he goes away to school but I am not paying for him to room and board and do whatever college kids do away from their parents with no responsibility other than grades for 4 years.
I am not paying for that.
I am not questioning your parental choices or anything as I believe there is no right or wrong way just different ideologies but I question such absolute statements that leave no room for variation.
For example, to the extent you re financially able to o so, of course, what if your son is away at a top school studying a more rigorous field such a Biology and Pre-med taking 5 classes and 4 labs as many bio majors have to do - you would not cut him any slack? And/or begrudge him some down time?
Also, if you did not go away to school - how can you knock it? I am not critical of those who stayed home.
Whats interesting is they will go to college. Hopefully.
As long as they study and don't tell you what they are doing with their down time, how CAN you have any say as to what THEIR whole college experience is?
Not saying your wrong. Just that you have zero control over what they would actually do. If they don't TELL you about all the frat parties, and dances, and mixers and fun, you'll never know that they are using college to have that last hurrah before adulthood, KWIM?
I'm not trying to speak for Ophelia, but I think I agree with what she's saying. Someone earlier in the thread said something along the lines of that children should take these years to be carefree, etc. I (and maybe Ophelia) do not believe that a 17yr old--especially one in college--is a child nor needs to be living a carefree existence.
Of course if my child is a pre-med student I would have different expectations. But still, AT THIS POINT, I would encourage her to get a job perhaps in a medical office...and you know what, pre-med or not, no one in my family is above flipping burgers although that wouldn't be the first choice here. Again though, as someone pointed out, we're not talking a 40 hr work week, we're talking 12 hours!
Also, you may have no control over parties etc (and, of course I'd like my DC doing fun college-type stuff as well) but if my kid's pulling a C average and goofing off, that kid WILL get a job or WILL come back home for school.
Message edited 8/7/2012 2:13:13 PM.
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| Posted 8/7/12 2:12 PM |
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