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If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Gay marriage 100%.
Polygamy, not really  I feel it validates our (still) paternalistic society's penchant for treating women as chattel and that offends me deeply.
But now that I think about it GAY POLYGAMIST MARRIAGE could be interesting. 
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Posted 5/1/12 12:32 PM  |
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AScottWolf
I <3 our squish!
Member since 11/10 2237 total posts
Name:
Adriana
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by DumpsterBaby
I support gay marriage but not polygamy, and I do not think they can be equated in the same way. 2 people is 2 people whether its men, women or whatever.
Polygamy is marriage to multiple partners, and that is a lifestyle I don't agree with so much as I don't necessarily like it. I'm kinda of ambivalent about polygamist marriages. They don't really affect me.
I don't have the capacity to love multiple people the way I love my husband, nor would I want to. To me, polygamy is an excuse to legalize adultery. You are not born a polygamist, tha IS a choice. Homosexuality is NOT a choice.
I would support a married "couple" agreeing to have an open marriage before I would ever agree to legalize polygamy.
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| Posted 5/1/12 12:35 PM |
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mylovesX3
LIF Infant
Member since 3/09 132 total posts
Name:
k
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by GoldenRod
I'm pro "consenting adults" marriage. As long as all parties involved are consenting adults, I have no problem with it. The age of consent can vary by state, the gender doesn't matter, and the number of individuals doesn't matter to me.... as long as all parties, both existing and incoming, know all of the details, and consent to the arrangement.
One guy having two families on opposite sides of the country who don't know about each other is not good. If everyone consents, it doesn't affect my marriage, or my life, so I really don't care.
DW also agrees with this. We've talked about it after watching Sister Wives. It's not for us, but we definitely think it's OK.
ITA
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| Posted 5/1/12 12:38 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
I am a huge supporter of gay marriage, because I believe that any TWO people who are in love should be able to express that love through marriage. I don't believe that marriage is between more than two more. If there's more than two people, I don't see the need for marriage.
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| Posted 5/1/12 12:43 PM |
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tink23
Step by step....
Member since 6/11 1061 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by JAAMS
I am a huge supporter of gay marriage, because I believe that any TWO people who are in love should be able to express that love through marriage. I don't believe that marriage is between more than two more. If there's more than two people, I don't see the need for marriage.
Agreed.
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:13 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3572 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
I think to each his own. I am fine with both. If we shouldnt tell someone who to love then we shouldnt tell them how many to love. Among consenting adults I think having more than 1 wife OR more than 1 husband can work.
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:16 PM |
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emc282rjm
LIF Infant
Member since 6/10 177 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Marriage is a legal contract between two people. I don't think it should matter what the gender of those two people is.
I don't think polygamy is really connected to gay marriage legally or morally. The question of allowing polygamy legally is basically asking: do you think one person should be able to enter into more than one marital contract? Since, as it stands now, marriage is between two people, no I don't. I can't be 100% sure, but I think most polygamist marriages aren't about ALL of the people in the relationship being together, but about one person being with multiple people (does that make sense?).
ETA: I tried to answer from a strictly legal standpoint (although I'm definitely not an expert, so correct me if I'm wrong). Morally, I'd agree with those who say you can't choose whom to love, but that polygamy rubs me the wrong way because it tends to be so misogynistic. I'm sure there are exceptions, but that's just my complete outsiders perspective.
Message edited 5/1/2012 1:25:10 PM.
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:21 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by emc282rjm
Marriage is a legal contract between two people. I don't think it should matter what the gender of those two people is.
I don't think polygamy is really connected to gay marriage legally or morally. The question of allowing polygamy legally is basically asking: do you think one person should be able to enter into more than one marital contract? Since, as it stands now, marriage is between two people, no I don't. I can't be 100% sure, but I think most polygamist marriages aren't about ALL of the people in the relationship being together, but about one person being with multiple people (does that make sense?).
A "current" marriage is a contract between two people. In many states, a marriage is ONLY a contract between a man and a woman.
Legally, the question is, can a contract be between people other than just a man and a woman.
From a purely legal standpoint, I can form a company with DW, with BIL, or with BIL, FIL, and a good friend of mine. They are all valid contracts.
Based on Sister Wives, and a few other documentaries I've seen, it IS about all of the adults agreeing to additional wives. From the shows I've seen, it's never been only the man deciding to have more women.
BTW, polyandry also exists, and should also be supported, IMO.
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:29 PM |
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Mill188
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 3073 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by mylovesX3
Posted by GoldenRod
I'm pro "consenting adults" marriage. As long as all parties involved are consenting adults, I have no problem with it. The age of consent can vary by state, the gender doesn't matter, and the number of individuals doesn't matter to me.... as long as all parties, both existing and incoming, know all of the details, and consent to the arrangement.
One guy having two families on opposite sides of the country who don't know about each other is not good. If everyone consents, it doesn't affect my marriage, or my life, so I really don't care.
DW also agrees with this. We've talked about it after watching Sister Wives. It's not for us, but we definitely think it's OK.
ITA
same here
I'm not "pro" polygamy but who am I to judge what works for another person. As long as everyone is a consenting, fully informed adult, I don't care what you're doing.
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:31 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by GoldenRod
BTW, polyandry also exists, and should also be supported, IMO.
 gee whiz, can you say super woman? I can barely take care of 1 family-imagine being a wife & mom to multiple households
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:33 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by GoldenRod
I'm pro "consenting adults" marriage. As long as all parties involved are consenting adults, I have no problem with it. The age of consent can vary by state, the gender doesn't matter, and the number of individuals doesn't matter to me.... as long as all parties, both existing and incoming, know all of the details, and consent to the arrangement.
One guy having two families on opposite sides of the country who don't know about each other is not good. If everyone consents, it doesn't affect my marriage, or my life, so I really don't care.
DW also agrees with this. We've talked about it after watching Sister Wives. It's not for us, but we definitely think it's OK.
Separation of church and state...polygamy can be tied to a religious belief in which case...it's not our place to govern it. As long as they aren't sacrificing other humans it is not my business. As for gay marriage...I think it's disgusting...especially for gays in the military...that their spouses are not entitled to the same securities and benefits as those who are in straight marriages. A gay lover can't even get a discount at the commissary much less medical benefits, tax exemptions etc that other straight military couples get. It's so unfair!
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:41 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by emc282rjm
Marriage is a legal contract between two people. I don't think it should matter what the gender of those two people is.
I don't think polygamy is really connected to gay marriage legally or morally. The question of allowing polygamy legally is basically asking: do you think one person should be able to enter into more than one marital contract? Since, as it stands now, marriage is between two people, no I don't. I can't be 100% sure, but I think most polygamist marriages aren't about ALL of the people in the relationship being together, but about one person being with multiple people (does that make sense?).
A "current" marriage is a contract between two people. In many states, a marriage is ONLY a contract between a man and a woman.
Legally, the question is, can a contract be between people other than just a man and a woman.
From a purely legal standpoint, I can form a company with DW, with BIL, or with BIL, FIL, and a good friend of mine. They are all valid contracts.
Based on Sister Wives, and a few other documentaries I've seen, it IS about all of the adults agreeing to additional wives. From the shows I've seen, it's never been only the man deciding to have more women.
BTW, polyandry also exists, and should also be supported, IMO.
perfect rational explanation. 
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:44 PM |
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KaKa2323
Got my miracle
Member since 9/11 1465 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by JAAMS
I am a huge supporter of gay marriage, because I believe that any TWO people who are in love should be able to express that love through marriage. I don't believe that marriage is between more than two more. If there's more than two people, I don't see the need for marriage.
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:47 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by emc282rjm
Marriage is a legal contract between two people. I don't think it should matter what the gender of those two people is.
edited
ETA: I tried to answer from a strictly legal standpoint (although I'm definitely not an expert, so correct me if I'm wrong). .
Is that the current legal definition of marriage?
Isn't it a rolling definition depending on what State / Country the marriage takes place in?
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:48 PM |
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emc282rjm
LIF Infant
Member since 6/10 177 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by emc282rjm
Marriage is a legal contract between two people. I don't think it should matter what the gender of those two people is.
edited
ETA: I tried to answer from a strictly legal standpoint (although I'm definitely not an expert, so correct me if I'm wrong). .
Is that the current legal definition of marriage?
Isn't it a rolling definition depending on what State / Country the marriage takes place in?
You're right, it is different from state to state. I didn't mean that it currently doesn't matter what gender it is, but more that it is only about two people. The legal dictionary of free-dictionary.com (still probably not a super reliable source) says that
"Marriage is a legally sanctioned contract between a man and a woman. Entering into a marriage contract changes the legal status of both parties, giving husband and wife new rights and obligations. Public policy is strongly in favor of marriage based on the belief that it preserves the family unit. Traditionally, marriage has been viewed as vital to the preservation of morals and civilization"
I think that it shouldn't matter what gender it is, but as it currently stands in most states you're right, it does.
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:54 PM |
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emc282rjm
LIF Infant
Member since 6/10 177 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by emc282rjm
Marriage is a legal contract between two people. I don't think it should matter what the gender of those two people is.
I don't think polygamy is really connected to gay marriage legally or morally. The question of allowing polygamy legally is basically asking: do you think one person should be able to enter into more than one marital contract? Since, as it stands now, marriage is between two people, no I don't. I can't be 100% sure, but I think most polygamist marriages aren't about ALL of the people in the relationship being together, but about one person being with multiple people (does that make sense?).
A "current" marriage is a contract between two people. In many states, a marriage is ONLY a contract between a man and a woman.
Legally, the question is, can a contract be between people other than just a man and a woman.
From a purely legal standpoint, I can form a company with DW, with BIL, or with BIL, FIL, and a good friend of mine. They are all valid contracts.
Based on Sister Wives, and a few other documentaries I've seen, it IS about all of the adults agreeing to additional wives. From the shows I've seen, it's never been only the man deciding to have more women.
BTW, polyandry also exists, and should also be supported, IMO.
But I think the difference for me is the KIND of contract. You can enter into a corporation or company with those people, but is that the same as marriage? I'm not saying that it's not a mutual decision (again, my only real understanding is Sister Wives and that Jodi Picoult book, so it's hard for me to say), just that it tends to be patriarchal. I do know, though, that that is often part of people's religious choices, and I certainly don't mean to imply that religiously you cannot believe or do what you'd like, just that there's a difference between religious/moral beliefs and legality. I think the legal question becomes a lot murkier.
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| Posted 5/1/12 1:57 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
I don't care what people do in their private lives. As long as everyone in the relationship consents, then they can marry whomever they choose.
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| Posted 5/1/12 2:05 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by emc282rjm
But I think the difference for me is the KIND of contract. You can enter into a corporation or company with those people, but is that the same as marriage? I'm not saying that it's not a mutual decision (again, my only real understanding is Sister Wives and that Jodi Picoult book, so it's hard for me to say), just that it tends to be patriarchal. I do know, though, that that is often part of people's religious choices, and I certainly don't mean to imply that religiously you cannot believe or do what you'd like, just that there's a difference between religious/moral beliefs and legality. I think the legal question becomes a lot murkier.
but my view is... if I believe in my heart that my religion is right and I am following it...why should someone else declare me wrong? When does government go too far? because it's the same as saying "well in the religion that THE GOVERNMENT acknowledges...what you're doing is wrong so we don't feel you're entitled to the same treatment as someone who follows what we believe in." and that is wrong.
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| Posted 5/1/12 2:09 PM |
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td123
LIF Infant
Member since 3/10 294 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
I may be off here but from a legal standpoint I do not support polygamy. A marriage contract is basically a document for the state to acknowledge that two people (obv gender depends on which state you are in) are eligible to receive certain benefits (death benefits, tax benefits, health benefits, etc.) . Unfortunately, the states do not require that a marriage contains any element of "love."
I dont see the majority of states willing to expand the rights of 2 married individuals to multiple spouses.
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| Posted 5/1/12 2:22 PM |
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emc282rjm
LIF Infant
Member since 6/10 177 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by MrsMeloyellow
Posted by emc282rjm
But I think the difference for me is the KIND of contract. You can enter into a corporation or company with those people, but is that the same as marriage? I'm not saying that it's not a mutual decision (again, my only real understanding is Sister Wives and that Jodi Picoult book, so it's hard for me to say), just that it tends to be patriarchal. I do know, though, that that is often part of people's religious choices, and I certainly don't mean to imply that religiously you cannot believe or do what you'd like, just that there's a difference between religious/moral beliefs and legality. I think the legal question becomes a lot murkier.
but my view is... if I believe in my heart that my religion is right and I am following it...why should someone else declare me wrong? When does government go too far? because it's the same as saying "well in the religion that THE GOVERNMENT acknowledges...what you're doing is wrong so we don't feel you're entitled to the same treatment as someone who follows what we believe in." and that is wrong.
But the law isn't prohibiting you from getting married in the eyes of the church, just prohibiting you from getting legally married. You can still be in a marriage according to your religion, just not according to the law. That's why I think the issue is so complicated--because marriage is something that is both religious/spiritual and legal. Clearly we don't have the same issues when it comes to, say, being business partners. When we think about marriage, we think about it beyond the legal level, which is what I think complicates things. I think you're right--our laws are overwhelmingly driven by morality even if they pretend they aren't. Maybe marriage shouldn't be in the purview of the law at all...
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| Posted 5/1/12 2:25 PM |
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hotsauce345
my love, my life, my son
Member since 1/09 4169 total posts
Name:
Melody
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
I think government spends too much time governing love and not enough time governing hate.
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| Posted 5/1/12 2:28 PM |
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emc282rjm
LIF Infant
Member since 6/10 177 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by MrsMeloyellow
I think government spends too much time governing love and not enough time governing hate.
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| Posted 5/1/12 2:30 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by td123
I may be off here but from a legal standpoint I do not support polygamy. A marriage contract is basically a document for the state to acknowledge that two people (obv gender depends on which state you are in) are eligible to receive certain benefits (death benefits, tax benefits, health benefits, etc.) . Unfortunately, the states do not require that a marriage contains any element of "love."
I don't see the majority of states willing to expand the rights of 2 married individuals to multiple spouses.
But, I can also sign half a dozen legal documents and have a contract with foster and/or adopted children. By having multiple contracts with multiple children, they automatically get death benefits, tax benefits, health benefits, inheritance benefits, etc., so a precedence exists for something similar already.
(I'm intentionally keeping this at a purely contractual level, and keeping love, morality, religion, dominance, etc, out of my discussion points.)
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| Posted 5/1/12 2:31 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
The thing with polygamy, putting any moral issue aside, is I wonder how it will affect other people financially. How would the government determine income taxes for that family? How would health insurance companies determine benefits and premiums for these families? My concerns with polygamy have more do with the creation of families that would potentially create a much larger burden on society than other families.
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| Posted 5/1/12 2:33 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: If you support gay marriage, do you support polygamy?
Posted by dpli
The thing with polygamy, putting any moral issue aside, is I wonder how it will affect other people financially. How would the government determine income taxes for that family? How would health insurance companies determine benefits and premiums for these families? My concerns with polygamy have more do with the creation of families that would potentially create a much larger burden on society than other families.
I was wondering the same thing. How would it affect our social security? our healthcare system? etc. I think the impact is far more severe with polygamy & ripe for abuse. THen again, I wonder what polygamy sects form their own church for tax write-offs.
Oddly enough, I heard the same argument from someone about why gay marriage shouldn't be legalized. I guess financial incentive is a reason to discriminate against same sex citizens?
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| Posted 5/1/12 2:37 PM |
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