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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by MeNBobs
 After reading that article I will be checking my back seat everyday and I don't even have kids. That was so heartbreaking. I'm sure no matter what name or title anyone calls that woman she calls herself far worse along with the guilt that she must live with everyday. May God bless her and her poor baby and anyone else that has experienced this awful awful tragedy.
It took a lot of courage for her to step forward and be the "face" to something like this. I'm sure she knew people would have a lot of opinions about her. If it saves even 1 child then I would think all the name calling and judgement are worth it.
I agree. I may be passionate, firey and explosive. But I have a heart and I know this is a pain that has no name. 
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Posted 6/4/10 9:50 PM  |
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Well first I want to say that Liza (what I know of her) is a good person. She has helped me with issues with my son, spoke to me over the phone, met with me in person, and has asked nothing in return. We live in a world where most people won't even hold a door for you. I'm sure writing this post wasn't her finest moment, and it was a poor choice of words, but she is entitled to her opinion, and I think she deserves a little compassion.
Anyway, I've made plenty of mistakes in my life. It's very sad. I can't even imagine how these parents feel.
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| Posted 6/4/10 10:40 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
I hate hearing about these stories. It is so heartbreaking and I can't even begin to imagine the pain and guilt these parents feel for the rest of their lives.
I am so paranoid about the heat in the car, I always leave the windows or the doors open in the summer, even if they are only in the car for a few minutes while I am putting the stroller in the trunk.
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| Posted 6/4/10 10:53 PM |
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by KerriSteve
Well first I want to say that Liza (what I know of her) is a good person. She has helped me with issues with my son, spoke to me over the phone, met with me in person, and has asked nothing in return. We live in a world where most people won't even hold a door for you. I'm sure writing this post wasn't her finest moment, and it was a poor choice of words, but she is entitled to her opinion, and I think she deserves a little compassion.
Anyway, I've made plenty of mistakes in my life. It's very sad. I can't even imagine how these parents feel.
Not my finest moment????   Thanks Kerri - if I have something to give, then I give - I think it is something that anyone would do (I would hope).
And I know you are coming to my defense - which is amazing and I thank you! But I continue to stand by my words. Like I said before - people on here get passionately controversial on a multitude of issues here. This is my small picnic blanket of passionate controversy. And I'm not ashamed of it!
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| Posted 6/4/10 10:53 PM |
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Mrs213
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Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by lipglossjunky73
people on here get passionately controversial on a multitude of issues here.
That is definitely true on here
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| Posted 6/4/10 11:00 PM |
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by staceyums81
Posted by lipglossjunky73
people on here get passionately controversial on a multitude of issues here.
That is definitely true on here
So much so, I again lost track of my grammar, what with my overuse of the word "here" and all....
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| Posted 6/4/10 11:02 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
I can't imagine the pain any parent who does this feels. And since I know I'm not perfect, I refuse to judge them based on a mistake.
Tragic...
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| Posted 6/4/10 11:19 PM |
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Celt
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Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Look - this devastates me. I hate these stories. More than blatant abuse. I hate stories where a child dies because a parent forgets them. A child is gifted to us. They are fragile, helpless souls. If we don;t make them a priority all the time, who will????
See now Liza this is the part where ya lost me; I was cool with everyone feeling their feelings and having the debate but to hate this kind of TRAGIC. ACCIDENT. "more than blatant abuse" just makes me   and 
Blatant abuse, to me, would be a FAR FAR FAR more egregious act. The premeditation and lack of empathy it requires would make me SERIOUSLY want to violently hurt the perpetrator. And I'm a pretty non-violent woman overall.
But I too read this article and saw the Oprah show with the woman who had this happen as well. Know what??? I'm reasonably it sure it won't EVER happen to me or anyone on this thread in fact. Why??? Because no matter what we feel, or what we think we would/would never do, or what brand of bubble wrap we choose to protect our child, our AWARENESS on *this* topic has been heightened with each and every news story on the topic - and most effectively by the poor parents who are WILLLING (not required) to share their stories so publicly. So each one of us should COUNT OUR DAMN BLESSINGS for every day that goes by without a tragic accident befalling our kids or our families.
My sister is quite good friends with a girl whose 4th child drowned in a bathtub at 6 months of age. Trust me when I tell you there was no stupidity involved. No forgetting. No abuse. No "bad mommy" syndrome. And there are no words for the grief and the guilt that each sunrise brings to this woman.
I'll point out also that your related post below from 2007 speaks DIRECTLY to this issue (as does a previous poster who commented that she has had the "opposite" reaction - having your heart jump because you "lost" your child then instantly remembered "Oh they weren't with me today, duh, hahahaa" - quite a natural reaction btw).
My question is why is it benign and borderline humorous in that scenario? Isn't it the opposite side of the same coin??? Couldn't a non-parent or another parent look at that and call it stupid or ridiculous or whatever???
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| Posted 6/4/10 11:21 PM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
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baby fish mouth
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by HeathKernandez
I left Aidan in a car before. The cops were called.
It was the worst day of my life and I get sick every-time I think of it.
People make mistakes....
I'm sorry 
how nice of you to say you're sorry when you think I'm a vile, vile human being...
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| Posted 6/4/10 11:33 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by Porrruss
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I have absolutely no:
Patience
Compassion
Understanding
Lack of judgement
And much much more when I read these stories. I think any parent who forgets he/she has a child in the car is a vile human being. VILE.
Not only because the child isn't the first thing they think about, but because they always seem to forget on the hottest days of the year.
How come we never hear about this happening in the winter? You never hear a child forgotten in winter and freezing in the car. what is it about the heat that makes parents forget they have children?????
Mother EFFERS. 
Of course you're entitled to your feelings, but to answer your questions:
Heat kills MUCH faster than cold. A car usually won't get cold enough during the day to actually kill a child (who is likely already bundled up) and the majority of *these* cases occur during the day.
MY feeling is that it's unfair to condemn these people as "vile"-though I respect the feelings of those who do. I just posted that I have "forgotten" my children- thankfully never in a car- and I can tell you that I am certainly not a monster. I'm actually a damned good and devoted mother.
But I can certainly understand how this has happend to parents.
Ditto
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| Posted 6/4/10 11:41 PM |
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cupcakekid
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 291 total posts
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by HeathKernandez
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by HeathKernandez
I left Aidan in a car before. The cops were called.
It was the worst day of my life and I get sick every-time I think of it.
People make mistakes....
I'm sorry
how nice of you to say you're sorry when you think I'm a vile, vile human being...
Posted by HeathKernandez
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Posted by HeathKernandez
I left Aidan in a car before. The cops were called.
It was the worst day of my life and I get sick every-time I think of it.
People make mistakes....
I'm sorry
how nice of you to say you're sorry when you think I'm a vile, vile human being...
You left your child in the car intentionally while you went shopping (if I remember that post correctly). There is a difference in purposely leaving your child in the car using poor judgement and just forgetting about them. Not supporting the vile comment, just saying.
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| Posted 6/4/10 11:45 PM |
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WhatNow
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A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by colette
I'll point out also that your related post below from 2007 speaks DIRECTLY to this issue (as does a previous poster who commented that she has had the "opposite" reaction - having your heart jump because you "lost" your child then instantly remembered "Oh they weren't with me today, duh, hahahaa" - quite a natural reaction btw).
My question is why is it benign and borderline humorous in that scenario? Isn't it the opposite side of the same coin??? Couldn't a non-parent or another parent look at that and call it stupid or ridiculous or whatever???
I obviously don't remember details of a post from 2007 being as it was 3 year ago, but I was the one who made the comment in reference on this thread today so I will jump in and answer.
The difference is that I was talking about being aware of my kids even when they are NOT with me, I ALWAYS feel like I am the one who should be looking after them at this very second and I always assume I am, even when I am not. I ALWAYS feel like they are with me, even when they are NOT with me... Which is why I find that tragic scenario so mind bugling: how do you NOT realize that your child is with you or that you left him in the car FOR 8 HOURS? It's not benign and rather humorous because in this case, I guess the mother is being EXTRA paranoid about her child and is so aware of her kid all the time that she thinks he is with her even when he is not, as oppose to a mother forgetting that she never dropped her baby at a daycare center and left him locked in the car instead...
And listen, I am NOOOOOO perfect mother, and I have forgotten things: forgotten that my son asked me for apple juice 20 minutes ago because I got caught up in something, forgotten to give them antiobiotics that you should give 2x a day for 10 days, forgotten that my daughter went potty and pooped and I didn't wipe her butt and she just got up and put on her undies and went back to her play... but
I just don't see any mother I know forgetting where their kid was for 8 HOURS!
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| Posted 6/5/10 12:12 AM |
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Celt
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Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
WhatNow I understand your perspective *completely* and similarly  at myself when I forget I am temporarily "child free". Just tonight I went out for a few hours with friends and ALL NIGHT I was distracted thinking I lost something... I went to leave my friends and had my cellphone and keys. Then panicked cause I couldn't find my diaper bag. Duh. I didn't BRING IT.
So I totally get that.
But I am saying whatever brain chemistry issue causes THAT "forgetful" moment is probably very very similar to the unfortunate parents we are discussing tonight - just on a larger and more sustained scale.
Here's the thing, things are good (not perfect) in my life; I adore my kiddo, and only have *1* to worry about. He's slept through the night since 5mos of age. I rest well, I'm not on any meds, haven't started a new job, am not in debt (well nothing unmanageable), don't have any sick family members today (knock wood), have a good marriage (DH might even agree  )... ok yippee good for me right? But what if I had ANY of the above major "red flag" A1 ultra premium stressors present in my life? What if I had more than 1??? I can't say I'd feel so confident about what I would or would NEVER do, even accidentally, kwim??? Brains and the people that use them are very very tricky. As much as they are capable of, they are imperfect. Fallible by their very definition. Yours, mine, theirs, doesn't matter. It's intuitive and natural to wonder "WhAT THE HELLLLLLLLLLL where they thinking?" at first blush.
At their root, these stories TERRIFY us all because we wonder... even if only in private, "could I *ever* do that??? Could I ever be capable of that???" And our brains and hearts jump to answer NO!!! Not in a million years!!!!" And yet, if a "lack of love" for a child were the reason for this kind of tragedy, why would ANY of us ever worry about it???? Why would anyone use the teddy bear trick or put their purse in the backseat or religiously "check" the carseat??? Wouldn't that primal, most visceral kind of love that we have ASSURE us that it would never happen??? A "lack of love" is not the cause of this - and logically speaking, the converse must be true, i.e., an abundance of love does not serve to prevent it.
I know mine is a devil's advocate stance. I know many won't agree. And that's cool.
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| Posted 6/5/10 12:47 AM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
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baby fish mouth
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by cupcakekid
You left your child in the car intentionally while you went shopping (if I remember that post correctly). There is a difference in purposely leaving your child in the car using poor judgement and just forgetting about them. Not supporting the vile comment, just saying.
I suppose you're right... I wonder which is worse, you know? In the end, when you make a terrible mistake like that, it isn't a good feeling at all... I have been stressed to the point I can understand how such a mistake can happen, KWIM?
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| Posted 6/5/10 4:43 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
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Stephanie
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
so heartbreaking.....I just cannot imagine the pain and guilt that this woman feels every day. ugh
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| Posted 6/5/10 7:08 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
and I just want to mention that after hearing these stories on here, I always double and triple check the car seat before going into work , even after knowing that I dopped my kids off at daycare
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| Posted 6/5/10 7:09 AM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
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Lauren
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by ToriaRae
This is my thinking! No, you are not off. I did not think by starting this thread would cause so much drama. I was expressing how I felt about it. I was disgusted with the same thing you just stated... how do you FORGET for hours and not remember? That's all. This was pertaining to the story in Lakewood, NJ and that is it..
I didn't see it as drama either until the blanket name calling and condemnation of anyone who's ever made a mistake like this.
I suppose to could just not fess up to my story and sit back and pretend to be perfect, but that doesn't help anyone.
People ask how it could happen and what kind of person could do this.
Unfortunately the answer is it happens easier than you think and it happens to people who are good parents.
I hoped that by sharing my story and the story from the Parenting magazine people might realize that we aren't awful people, and maybe just take some tips so it doesn't happen to them.
Instead the name calling began and there was a COMPLETE lack of ability to see the otherside here.
Thats where the drama was.
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| Posted 6/5/10 8:01 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
I think a lot of people perhaps find it difficult to understand because they may have had a completely different experience than others at that newborn, infant stage.
I will admit - I nearly had a nervous breakdown when I had Alex, and for 6 months straight I was a walking zombie. She was colic, never slept, I had never spent ANY time with a baby, let alone change a diaper, and here I was, shaken to the bone, whipped out of my normal daily routine at work, into a world of a crying baby nonstop, all by myself, all alone in a house, with no one to talk to.
I have never felt more isolated, more depressed, more alone in my entire life - it was the darkest time of my life, and I sometimes wonder how I made it through the experience. There were certainly days where I could barely keep my eyes open, where my connection to reality was severely dimished from lack of sleep and isolation with a crying baby, and I can certainly understand how a parent in that situation could possible make a grave, grave mistake because their head is soooooooooo clouded by all of these elements.
I think it's a horrid tragedy, on all ends, and while my heart aches for the baby, it aches just as much for the parents who are left with that kind of guilt, loss and devastation looming over their heads for the rest of their lives.
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| Posted 6/5/10 8:03 AM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
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Diana
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
We all want to think "It would NEVER happen to me" but unfortunately no one on this website is perfect and mistakes do happen. We do not know what is going through someone's mind at the time of this.
Someone recently told me that she went to get her older sons haircut for a wedding. She had a million things on her mind. Had to pack stuff up for the wedding. Had to get everything together for the baby. Was writing a to-do list waiting for her son while he got his haircut. As she was walking back to the car her son said "MOM! We forgot the baby in the car!" She was distraught over this. Luckily it was only a few minutes and it was the winter but mistakes do happen.
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| Posted 6/5/10 8:22 AM |
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youngmama
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/06 530 total posts
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
To leave your child in the car ( A human being who is completely reliable on you ) especially a baby that you have carried for 10 months BLOWS my mind. Being tired, out of your routine is NO excuse. You are responsible for your child and those parents who have forgotten about their children for even a second and making EXCUSES or justifying it is even worse. I understand that things happen, but not these things. This is ridiculous, you put your child in the car YOU take them out!!!!! How hard is that to do? Seeing these stories should make you even more cautious. Im not saying that I don't feel horrible for these people, Im just saying IT IS COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE! Your child comes first. If you forget about them maybe you should put a sticker on your dashboard to remind you that you have one.
Message edited 6/5/2010 10:25:54 AM.
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| Posted 6/5/10 10:17 AM |
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by youngmama
To leave your child in the car ( A human being who is completely reliable on you ) especially a baby that you have carried for 10 months BLOWS my mind. Being tired, out of your routine is NO excuse. You are responsible for your child and those parents who have forgotten about their children for even a second and making EXCUSES or justifying it is even worse. I understand that things happen, but not these things. This is ridiculous, you put your child in the car YOU take them out!!!!! How hard is that to do? Seeing these stories should make you even more cautious. Im not saying that I don't feel horrible for these people, Im just saying IT IS COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE! Your child comes first. If you forget about them maybe you should put a sticker on your dashboard to remind you that you have one.
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| Posted 6/5/10 11:00 AM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
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Name:
Lauren
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by youngmama
To leave your child in the car ( A human being who is completely reliable on you ) especially a baby that you have carried for 10 months BLOWS my mind. Being tired, out of your routine is NO excuse. You are responsible for your child and those parents who have forgotten about their children for even a second and making EXCUSES or justifying it is even worse. I understand that things happen, but not these things. This is ridiculous, you put your child in the car YOU take them out!!!!! How hard is that to do? Seeing these stories should make you even more cautious. Im not saying that I don't feel horrible for these people, Im just saying IT IS COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE! Your child comes first. If you forget about them maybe you should put a sticker on your dashboard to remind you that you have one.
Maybe something I would have said before I had kids as well.
And your words would have a lot more power if you hadn't put the popcorn at the end. But I suppose that's what you were looking for.
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| Posted 6/5/10 11:04 AM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
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Mama Cranky
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
I want to add that the people who think it could NEVER happen to them are probably the people it is most likely to happen to.
Those among who can see how this can happen have their defense up against it while those who say "I would never let this happen" don't. They feel it is so far removed from them, they are so confident that it could never be them, that it is not on the forefront of their mind. If you allow yourself to think that it could happen, you'll better guard against it.
I don't think I could ever let this happen but there is always small doubt deep within-and that small doubt is just the prodding I need to keep up my vigilance.
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| Posted 6/5/10 11:05 AM |
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nrthshgrl
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by colette
At their root, these stories TERRIFY us all because we wonder... even if only in private, "could I *ever* do that??? Could I ever be capable of that???" And our brains and hearts jump to answer NO!!! Not in a million years!!!!" And yet, if a "lack of love" for a child were the reason for this kind of tragedy, why would ANY of us ever worry about it???? Why would anyone use the teddy bear trick or put their purse in the backseat or religiously "check" the carseat??? Wouldn't that primal, most visceral kind of love that we have ASSURE us that it would never happen??? A "lack of love" is not the cause of this - and logically speaking, the converse must be true, i.e., an abundance of love does not serve to prevent it.
I know mine is a devil's advocate stance. I know many won't agree. And that's cool.
EXTREMELY WELLL SAID!
I couldn't agree more.
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| Posted 6/5/10 12:38 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
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Re: Another story where a baby is left in the car
Posted by youngmama
To leave your child in the car ( A human being who is completely reliable on you ) especially a baby that you have carried for 10 months BLOWS my mind. Being tired, out of your routine is NO excuse. You are responsible for your child and those parents who have forgotten about their children for even a second and making EXCUSES or justifying it is even worse. I understand that things happen, but not these things. This is ridiculous, you put your child in the car YOU take them out!!!!! How hard is that to do? Seeing these stories should make you even more cautious. Im not saying that I don't feel horrible for these people, Im just saying IT IS COMPLETELY PREVENTABLE! Your child comes first. If you forget about them maybe you should put a sticker on your dashboard to remind you that you have one.
This can be said for lots of things...letting your child fall from the bed? the changing table? fall down stairs? It's so easy to pass judgement for what others do. None of us are perfect parents and some parents are better then others but it isn't my place to decipher that.
As a wiser poster once posted...Before you put someone in their place, put yourself in theirs.
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| Posted 6/5/10 12:45 PM |
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