how long are you willing to try for?

This question is for everyone, but especially for those of you who already have atleast one child. How long will you be TTC? We're on 7 months and DS is 2yrs,4mos. We have vaguely discussed our timeline and will probably try for another year, give or take, before we give in to the fat that we may not be "meant" to have any more.
A part of me wants to try indefinitely, because it's really important to me to have another- both for myself and DS. My concern is that if they're too far apart in age that they won't really have a close relationship. I also worry about my marriage and starting again once we've really reached a comfortable spot in our relationship and in parenting. I also don't know if I can emotionally take more than another year or so of this.

Message edited 3/10/2009 9:58:42 AM.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

Honestly, I know myself and knowing that I've had 2 pregnancies and one child, I don't think I would be able to accept that another one isn't possible. I'm stubborn and would probably try indefinetely unless it was becoming a true hardship for my marriage/family.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

We don't have a set date, but we discussed getting through all of our insurance benefits before we decide to "give up"

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

We've been trying for 2 years. DS is 6 years old.

We both agreed that we would stop trying officially if we physically & emotionally can't deal with ttc anymore or when we get to a certain age where we feel its time to stop. I am only 25 and DH is going to be 34 so we are generally still on the younger side but are dealing with IF issues which plays a big factor in our decision to how long to keep going.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

For now my answer would have to be for as long as it takes. We do not have any children and we are still relatively new to the process (on cycle 3 now). My answer might be different if I was older and/or already had a child.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

Well...I am 33 and want two kids...so maybe I would give up after a year of trying....maybe less before exploring other options.
I'm very impatient which isn't good.

Message edited 3/10/2009 10:29:03 AM.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

Until we have the family that we have always envisioned.

I really want to have 3 children. DH definitely wants 2... and is open to thinking about 3 when that time comes.

We are young (24 and 28) and we don't plan on stopping until we have 2-3 children.

Yes, this road is long and hard... and we've spent more money that I ever would have imagined. But I refuse to give up on my dream - and whether that means we will end up adopting, using a donor, or using a surrogate... I don't plan on giving up on having the family we have always wanted.

This doesn't mean we won't take breaks though... for now we have all decisions made as far as the rest of 2009 goes... and then we'll go from there!

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

Since yoy were already able to conceive a child together, I probably wouldn't give up until after a doctor told me we had exhausted all options.

Just an added note - My mother had a lot of trouble having children. My sister and I are 7 years apart, My brother is 6 years older and we are all close. I consider my sister a great friend. So them being far apart doesn't mean they won't be close.


hang in there, don't give up on yourself yet

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

I don't know. If I didn't have any kids, I would say never because I don't envision my life without children at all.

Being that I have one child, I don't know how far I will go to have a second child-we haven't thought that far ahead.

If we need to consult with an RE (if we get to the 1 year mark), we will review all our options. There are many fertility treatments that I would ungo if needed but there are some that I would not under go that I might have considered if I didn't have DD.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

I will never give up. My husband and I have discussed what if situations and both of us are comfortable with IF treatments and adoption. In fact even if we have our own children biologically we both really want to adopt. For me, it is important.

I come from a family that struggled with unexplained infertility. I have adopted siblings and biological. If my mother had given up on her dreams, i would not be here.

I have siblings that range from 11 years age difference to myself, and the closest is 4 years older then me, and male. I am very close 2 of my three older brothers. One is 7 years older than me the other is 4. I am also close with my younger sister who is 11 years younger than me. Age is nothing but a number.

Oh and the only reason why I am not close with my oldest brother who is 10 years older than me, is because he is not a phone person, and it is very difficult to maintain a long distance relationship with someone who hates to talk on the phone. But when we see each other we get along great, and I love him dearly.

Edited for: Spelling

Message edited 3/10/2009 1:07:44 PM.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

For me, I am willing to try no matter what. I am 28, and we want at least 2, and I come from a family that adopts.

So I will have a child, whether it be through pregnancy or adoption. I love my adopted sibs just as much as my bio brother. And they are significantly younger and we have a great relationship.

As Hayley says, it is a love worth fighting for. I don't care what I have to do. I want a family and I will fight for that.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

DH wants to take a break for a while because it is causing too much stress for us - the exact opposite of what we wanted to happen.... So looks like this may be our last month for a while - about 3 months for us.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

I am in agreement with alot of the PP. Children is something DH and I want and have always wanted and I won't give up. For as long as it takes, DH and I are in it

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

I am still in shock everyday that I am not pregnant! I don't know why, but I just can't believe I started in Sept and Josh was concieved in a night!

I guess we will wait till sept, Leo offered to get his SA done. I have a feeling that is the issue we are having. I am just not sure what to do with information at that point. There is no way he is having surgery on his member if there are kids out there who need to be adopted. He's not taking any chances.

I can totally see us adopting if we don't get pregnant.

I took my BFN really bad in Nov, then sort of bad in Dec. Then I just decided I can't live like that. I can't be upset about not being pregnant when I have another baby in the same room who I should be reading to instead of crying.

I love my husband, I love my kid. I would LOVE to get pregnant. But adopting gives me peace...if we aren't able to make a baby I will go get one. That timeframe would be about 2 years.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

I tried for 6 months this time around.

My plan was at 9 months to go for further testing (HSG) and whatever else my dr. recommended.

After that DH and I decided that we would do whatever it takes to have at least once more child - whether that be IUI, or IVF.

Don't give up hope just yet. I know it's so much easier for me to say this to you but my doctor assured me that even with the second child it can take most normal healthy couples up to a year to conceive.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

Sending you

I just wanted to say that my DH and his brother are 6 years apart and they are SO close! They talk every single day and are definitely each others best friends so you totally do not have to worry about the gap in that respect

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

we will start TTC in May and as of now we are willing to try as long as it takes since we do not have any children yet.

I have 2 sisters, one 15 months older and one 10 years younger and the 3 of us are best friends. DH has 2 sisters and one brother who is 10 years younger than him and him and his bro as also very close. so like some other posters said age doesn't really mean anything.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

Definitely don't worry about the being close in age making children close. My brother and I are 9 years apart (planned!) and We are extremely close. In fact I think my parents get jealous because usually I go to him for all of my advice instead of them

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

for me, i'll probably go until i've exthausted all methods and than we would may look into adoption or just resign to the fact that we won't have kids.

BTW- my DH and his brother are 10 years apart and they talk EVERY Day! they are very very close. Also, my bother is 11 years older than me and I'm as close to him as I am my other siblings who a year or two apart from me. so age doesn't matter when it comes to siblings!

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

I have a 13 year old son from a previous relationship. I love him to death, but I was only 20 when he was born, Because of this, I had a lot of mixed feelings during the pregnancy, and his father was not very involved. DH and I just got married this past August and decided to start TTC earlier this year; this is actually our first cycle (March). With that said, even though my son would obviously be way older than his siblings, I cannot wait to give him a younger brother or sister. He is a great kid, and I know they would have a wonderful relationship. For what t's worth, my husband has a half-sister who is 15 years older, and they are very close.

Also, DH has no biological children of his own and I know he wants them. Just in seeing how great he is with my son, I know he would be an awesome dad! Plus, this time around it would be different because I would be financially and emotionally prepared and with a loving partner is as ready as I am.

Since we just started, and I was not TTC when I had my son, I don't know how I am going to handle the BFNs, or getting AF instead of a BFP, or even how long it will take. I do know I have PCOS and that may make things take a bit longer. I am also 33, So I really hope this happens fairly quickly. But, given the points I wrote about above, we have agreed that we will keep trying as long as we both still want another child, and as long as it doesn't take a toll on our relationship.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

I think I'll keep trying until I hit 40. So that gives me 5 more years. But I really hope it doesn't take that long!

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

until it happens.

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

I am not TTC but I wanted to say that I was an OOPS baby (my mom used to hate when I said that) but I am about 11.5 and 8.5 years younger than my brothers.

My middle brother is one of my best friends I can go to him with anything. I am also close to my oldest brother.
Growing up, I adored and idolized my oldest brother and he took me places bought me things it was great, I was 5 when he graduated HS. I gave him the chicken pox when he was in college and we stayed home together and I loved every second. As we got older we drifted a bit but then my middle brother and I got close.

So as someone said age is a number, kids who are close in age, the same gender etc are not guaranteed to be BFF either.

I woudl say I would try until I was content with my family...however I arrived at that feeling, just knowing I had the family i was meant to have be it from adoption, IVF, donors etc.

GL to all!!!!

Re: how long are you willing to try for?

My DS is 2 1/2, since starting to TTC in August I have had 2 miscarriages (both at 5 wks) I will keep trying until someone tells me it will never happen or i'll never carry to term or whatever is wrong is not fixable or I get too old (i'm 34 now)
ETA: I am totally for adoption too so if life took us down that path that would be fine with us.

Message edited 3/12/2009 2:07:07 PM.